Learning Home

Fanfiction
Title:	Learning Home
Author(s):	Sundara
Date(s):	2004
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	online here
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Learning Home is a Kirk/Spock story by Sundara.

It was published in the print zine Beyond Dreams #7.

Summary

"Unsettled after his retirement from Starfleet, Kirk decides to undertake a Vulcan ordeal."

Reactions and Reviews

Just try telling James Kirk he can't do something, just hint that he might be past it and you know what happens! This endearing impulsiveness is what gets him into trouble (in this instance, at least), and into a competition on the planet Vulcan, a challenge called the kaunshaya kali-tor, an adult survival contest. It's a situation that I couldn't believe Kirk would've put himself into without much more information than he seems to have gleaned beforehand. But the opening grabbed my interest, to the max.

So, I took much pleasure settling down and finding out about Peter and Kirk's inner thoughts concerning his own dangerous endeavors. I liked most of all the closeness of Jim and his last remaining family member; they were very important to each other and that felt good, comforting. There was much inventiveness, too, and beauty in the vivid pictures the author painted of the planet, Aguius II: the underwater structures, the living art and other details of the "agua forest" Jim took such pleasure in as he gazed out the porthole windows of their home. We find out about the dangerous game Kirk is hell- bent on playing from nephew Peter, all grown up now and a designer/architect of underwater cities. He and his uncle Jim, now retired, are discussing the safety issues in their home while both prepare an evening meal. Peter tries to dissuade his uncle but is unsuccessful, of course. In the process and in Kirk's thoughts, we find that he and Spock have been apart about a year, since they'd retired (as in ST:VI). They have not been lovers, just friends, and Kirk wishes consciously for Spock to find "family happiness". Underneath, though, Kirk experiences jealousy, and guilt for feeling so. He represses his true feelings of love for Spock. This always makes me sad, to think that the two men had never been together until so many years have passed. In any case, Kirk gets a bee in his bonnet and decides to enter the contest, maybe just so he can get to Vulcan and see Spock??? I thought this and hoped it was true. Ok, Kirk is on planet Vulcan soon and meets much amazement from Sarek and also Spock (which does not compute for me) that Kirk, a Human, would want to enter the challenge. Sarek has to adopt James as clan son and Jim has to be accompanied on the survival course. I wondered why the two Vulcans didn't tell Kirk before about the mental conditions relevant to the contest. Still, at a pre-setting-out ritual, Spock touches Jim's mind deeply in a place called naf (that which is us). It seems to melt Jim inside and he loves it, it feels hot as hell to him, and I don't mean the air temperature. So bring on the kaunshaya-kali-tor, I thought, Kirk is ready for it. But is he? He finds that Spock will not be his companion in the contest but a female Vulcan called, R'Kal. Kirk is disappointed but keeps that hidden. Tri-ox and salt tablets get Kirk through the worst of the ten-day time in Vulcan's Forge. He and his guide get quite favorably acquainted during the long hot days. Then there is an accident—not Kirk—and Spock, through his link, his naf, finds the afflicted couple. But Kirk has found "himself" long before this, thanks to some profound soul-searching and R'Kal's wise input. After this, we slide easily into the scene of Kirk and Spock's honeymoon on a part of Vulcan that is almost tropical, filled with water and vegetation. A lovely, lovely scene, interwoven with the beauty of their mind meld. Not only that, we learn the reasons, the causes and effects of their actions during all the years behind. In the end, there is the promise of many, many years ahead of them and this I loved. Beneath the treacherous shifting sands of Vulcan with its devilish creatures, there's always the unchanging foundation of their rock-solid friendship; this is what kept Kirk going and let him live. Needless to say, I was deeply relieved when they finally came together. No pun! (Suffice it to say, though, that I will never ever take a vacation on Vulcan!) This is only the bare bones of an inventive story that has to be read slowly and savored. Plus, the T.S. Eliot poem segments bookending this great story is appropriate and beautiful in its own right. Don't miss it!

Next there's a poem by Virginia Sky, "LA ESCENSIA", that's a stand-out: it seems a poignant and satisfying extension of the story itself. And, oh, that illo of Kirk and Spock's mouths almost meeting!! I intend to copy it for a bookmark for my eyes only! Rare and lovely art!

This a wonderful account of how Kirk and Spock finally get together, after Kirk has retired from Starfleet. A year after his retirement Kirk is visiting his nephew Peter when he decides to undertake a Vulcan survival challenge with Spock, something which he has been thinking about on and off for quite a while, without fully realising all the implications. Although I did find it a bit strange that after so many years together as friends, Kirk has not yet realised how he feels about Spock until this late in life, but this is a minor quibble which did not spoil my enjoyment of the story, I loved the descriptions of Vulcan as Kirk and his companion cross the Vulcan desert to meet up with Spock, plus Kirk’s consternation when he first realises that he and Spock will be separated at the beginning of the challenge. The fact that Spock has to petition for Kirk to be allowed to join his family clan before they undertake the challenge is a very big clue that this is much more than just a survival trek across the Vulcan desert, but for whatever reason, Spock does not get around to explaining the full implications to Kirk before they set off, possibly because he thinks Kirk is already aware of them. There are many clues along the way that this is more than just a survival challenge, clues which Kirk does not really pick up on until he has started out on the challenge with R’Kal, who has been chosen to accompany him as he is not familiar with the hazards of the Vulcan desert.

Her astonishment at his ignorance is most refreshing as is Kirk’s gradual realisation that he and Spock already have a link which he previously knew nothing about and the way this leads to a realisation of his true feelings for the Vulcan, as they cross the desert, moving closer together, both literally and emotionally.

One of the best parts of the story is where R’Kal shows Kirk in a mindmeld how to access his link with Spock, and Kirk is so overwhelmed he wants nothing more than to just lose himself in Spock’s mind, seeing him in a completely new way is wonderfully done. Once he knows how to contact Spock this way, Kirk proves to be a quick learner, something which comes in very handy when he can no longer rely on R’Kal’s assistance. I also enjoyed the contrast at the end of the story, where Kirk and Spock are spending their “honeymoon” at a lush oasis which leads to some hot scenes between them and Spock’s observation that although it took his mother Amanda years to be accepted by the clan, Kirk appears to have won acceptance straight away.

Ah, nice writing. In the first-person sections, I could hear Kirk's voice. This story repays careful reading as it unfolds until all questions are answered. I can think of other stories which have dealt with an older Kirk's dawning awareness of what is in his heart, and his obliviousness to this in earlier years. I can certainly buy the premise.

So many wasted years...this was moving, as were Kirk's reflections, in his own words, on the years after the first mission and the effect on him of losing Spock and David to death. I liked the theme of exploration, the inner journey reflected in the outer desert challenge Kirk undertakes as he literally and emotionally moves towards completion with Spock. Exploration is what Kirk is all about; here it leads in a round-about way to arriving where he and Spock started, and knowing the place for the first time.

This is a beautiful story written with real warmth and skill.

I loved Sundara’s earlier story “House of Cedar” (written under a different name), and she has another winner with this one. It’s beautifully written, creative, and gives us a fascinating picture of Vulcan society and culture. Parts of the story are told from Kirk’s first person POV, which can be hard to do successfully. I’ve read stories before that used this POV and the authors didn’t quite pull it off, but Sundara succeeds admirably. Her Kirk‘s voice sounds just like him to me, or how I would imagine an older, more mature and contemplative Kirk would be.

Kirk is recently retired from Star Fleet, visiting his nephew Peter, and enjoying his life as the story opens. (I loved how Sundara blithely ignores the movie, Generations, except for the fact of Kirk also being retired in her story.) Kirk discusses with Peter why he retired, and I liked that part because Kirk was young to retire from Star Fleet and Generations never gave us a reason for it. I liked this whole section very much. Peter is very appealing (loved the story about his sex education and Kirk‘s mother!), and he and Kirk have a very comfortable, close relationship. Kirk has decided to go to Vulcan to participate in the kinshaya kali-tor, an adult survival challenge in the desert. Kirk’s been interested in participating ever since Amanda mentioned it a few years before he retired. Oddly enough, although Kirk did some research there was not much information available about the challenge, and Spock didn’t tell him a lot Kirk learns that his participation gives him membership in Spock’s clan, and Kirk soon finds himself on Vulcan with Spock. He also quickly learns there’s a lot more involved in the kinshaya kali-tor than he ever imagined as he and Spock are separated, and Kirk goes off into the desert with his assigned traveling companion, a young woman named R’Kal. Kirk’s Vulcan guide R’Kal is quite a different Vulcan than we’re used to seeing, being more open about expressing her emotions. I liked the whole idea of there being different interpretations of Surak’s writings, and that the clans living in more temperate regions of Vulcan would be less conservative. R’Kal is a very intriguing character, and explains many mysteries of the ritual to Kirk. Such as the interesting fact that Kirk shares a mind link with Spock, and the challenge is for separated mates to create a deeper union and more intimate connection than is done in the koon-ut-kali-fee! The idea of the kinshaya kali-tor is very well thought out and explained, and it was so interesting to read about Kirk and R’Kal in the desert.

Kirk’s feelings for Spock are gradually explored in the story, and the ritual reveals deep seated needs and desires that he’s hidden from himself and submerged all these years. Any story where Kirk and Spock don’t get together until later in life always saddens me a bit at all the wasted time they spent alone, but their eventual reunion is just wonderful . The writing about their mind link and their relationship is deeply satisfying. Finally, I thought the T. S. Elliot stanzas used at the beginning and end of the story were just perfect. I highly recommend “Learning Home”. It was truly a pleasure to read.

K/S This has quickly become one of my favorite TOS fics. Jim and Spock are older and retired from Starfleet, first time fic. Even though retired, Kirk can't resist a challenge. Sometimes, though, challenges deliver more than you expect.