Last First Time

Fanfiction
Title:	Last First Time
Author(s):	Elizabeth Scott
Date(s):	1988
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Last First Time is a Kirk/Spock story by Elizabeth Scott.

It was published in the print zine First Time #19.

Summary

"Spock repeatedly removes Kirkʼs memories of their times together at Kirkʼs request."

Reactions and Reviews

1994

Excellent writing—vivid and clear. Some absolutely gorgeous language. Tending toward purple sometimes, but I love it. And a seamless plot, well-woven.

At Starbase 12, Security comes aboard suddenly-Kirk is under arrest for traitorous acts! He listens to his own personal logs, but does not remember. A planet says it requested aid against the Klingons and that the Enterprise didn't respond.

Spock talks with Jose Mendez and the charges are dropped because Kirk's memories had been removed—by Spock. It seems to me Spock himself would then have been charged with aiding and abetting, if not outright traitorous acts, but Mendez lets them off. This didn't seem realistic, except for the fact that Mendez is a really good friend of Kirk's.

There is also a very interesting mission in this story, yet it doesn't take us too far away from K/S. Really excellent details of Menwoan culture.

The mystery of the missing memories was handled really well, revealed at a perfect pace. Spock knows, and we are aware that he knows, but Kirk doesn't and neither do we. It turns out Spock, at Kirk's request, removed Kirk's memories of their having sex! There are really lovely, awkward conversations about this. All the scenes where Kirk and Spock relate over this painful situation are set really well. The mission is going well, they talk together long into the night, and Spock finally tells Kirk about their first time. A really beautiful first time—naked in the dark in a jail cell together, it happened so naturally....

So they had had a relationship on and off for two years but Kirk has no memory of it. He's really pissed at the whole thing. But then he finds out he himself had asked, again and again, to have his memories erased, to experience the beginning again. I was really hating Kirk for this; my heart pained for Spock, his hurt at not knowing how to keep Kirk happy, his difficulties with not letting anything slip that their relationship was not new.

Kirk doesn't like the man who would do this to Spock either. Wonderful angst. Finally Kirk demands his memories back. It seems he had felt he couldn't keep Spock, thought he needed to keep it new. So they were both afraid of the same thing, but were never dealing with it openly.

An exquisite scene, when Kirk forces Spock to admit his anger at what Kirk put him through. Th«n he ravages Kirk—oh yes! Very beautiful.

1996

One of the cleverest ideas—Spock removing Kirk's memory of their lovemaking so that Kirk can keep experiencing a "first time" every time.

Terrific and exciting beginning as Kirk and company prepare for a much deserved shore leave only to be thwarted by a Starfleet quarantine. A great "Spock moment" occurs as these goons make their way to the bridge and when Spock comes from the turbolift, the leader of the goon squad asks how he did that and Spock answers:" 'An attempt was made to prevent our progress toward the bridge. It was overcome.'" Later it turns out that Spock had removed the memory of a diplomatic mission from Kirk's mind. Spock says:" 'We were in bed.' 'What were we doing in bed?' 'I assume that is a rhetorical question.'" Spock won't tell why he removed the memories.

Finally, Spock tells a little. Such wonderful, poignant dialogue— " Okay, just the good parts for now. There must have been good parts.' 'I shall attempt to answer your questions as completely as possible on what you would consider the good parts.

The memory removal is such a terrific premise and Spock's pain and anguish are portrayed so well. The only thing I missed was a nice long sex scene. The poetic description of such was really neat, but I missed a fully-realized description. Sorry. That's the kinda gal I am.

1995

To paraphrase Will Rogers, I've never read a story by this author I didn't like, but this one has to be my absolute favorite. It has everything I love in a story -- plenty of angst and heartache with the added bonus of a damn good plot-Kirk is ordered to beam down to a starbase where he is subsequently arrested for failing to follow a Starfleet order- Spock gets him off by admitting to Admiral Mendez that he mind wiped the captain. They go back to the ship where Kirk demands an explanation.

It seems Kirk and Spock had been lovers on and off for two years- Each time, after a few months Kirk would make Spock wipe his memory of the affair and seduce him all over again - hence the title-All this doesn't come out at once. Kirk learns a little at a time, just as we do. A mission is also wound throughout the story which shows they actually have duties to perform which take precedence over personal problems.

The language is clear and concise. You can picture them and what they are doing perfectly. The emotions are exquisitely portrayed, the sadness, the desperation, the anger and finally the all consuming love when Kirk finally realizes why he forced Spock to keep mind wiping him.

I just adored The last scene where Spock goaded beyond endurance, rips the uniform off Kirk's body and throws him to the floor. Oh. yes, be still my heart.