Its okay to say no (and this means you Elena)
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| Title: | Its okay to say no (and this means you Elena) |
| Creator: | eleai |
| Date(s): | Jul. 18th, 2012 |
| Medium: | online |
| Fandom: | The Vampire Diaries |
| Topic: | Elena Gilbert and relationship coercion |
| External Links: | http://eleai.livejournal.com/5610.html |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Its okay to say no (and this means you Elena) is a meta by eleai, written before the relationship between Damon and Elena became canon. In it, based on feminist theory, author argues that Elena doesn't have to give Damon a chance and respond to his advances, just because he's in love with her.
Exerpts
There seems to be this idea that her no will become a maybe, that because Damon loves her, because he “tries”, she owes him the benefit of “giving him a chance.” This is bullshit. Complete and total bullshit. She owes him nothing. She doesn’t owe him an explanation. She doesn’t owe him time. She doesn’t owe him a chance. She owes him jack shit. Women do not owe every man who wants to toss his hat in the ring a chance. They just don’t. And saying “no, I’m not interested” doesn’t make you mean, doesn’t make you bad, doesn’t make you a bitch.
And yet somehow, Elena is always made to feel bad. It’s poor Damon, who just loves her and tries for her and would do anything for her. But the thing is, she doesn’t ask him to, and most of the time, she doesn’t want him to. And her no, the very first time she says no, should be taken for the answer, and that’s it. It’s not, “keep on asking and maybe one day she’ll say yes.” No means no means no means no. And a woman shouldn’t be made to feel guilty, or like she is the problem for not saying yes. It’s not fair. And it is not right. In the first two seasons, Elena didn’t want Damon. She didn’t. She liked him, she considered him a friend, but she did not love him, and she did not want him. Just look at the season one finale. Elena is very clear and very explicit—Damon is her friend, but she specifically asks him to stop the flirting and the comments, and the physical intimidation—she likes him as a friend, but she loves Stefan. She is in a relationship with Stefan. And what is Damon’s response? Oh yeah, to go confront her on the porch about what he perceives to be her feelings (again, assuming her no has become a maybe) and then to kiss her. Because what Elena wants, what she needs, doesn’t matter.