Inevitabilis

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Fanfiction
Title: Inevitabilis
Author(s): Audrey
Date(s): 2006
Length:
Genre: often listed as gen, though see notes from the author on this page
Fandom: Starsky and Hutch
External Links: Me and Thee/reference link & via The Wayback Machine

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Inevitabilis is a Starsky/Hutch story by Audrey.

It won a Torino Award in 2006 and in 2008.

From the Author

I wrote it as a response to someone on the Me and Thee list who was asking for medically-accurate PSR stories (maybe Dawn remembers who?). I zipped it out in an angry two days, and then figured it would drop into the vortex of ignored stories.

Boy was I wrong. I was stunned by the response I got. The feedback, more often than not, was less about the story and more about personal stories of similar pain. I was quite unprepared for it, and felt like a fraud for having written it as I have never felt similar pain (although, like Sam, I had certainly done my fair share of transports of similar patients earlier in my career).

Looking back on it a few years later, I found a few awkward parts (which I fixed and resubmitted to Marcy), cringed at a bit of the metaphor, but in general was pleased with how it evoked the emotion I was looking for.

Also, at the risk of reopening a can of worms, this is one of many stories I wrote that could have been gen or slash. I wrote it that way on purpose. Unfortunately I had to pick one or the other on the Me and Thee archive so I picked gen as there was no laving or pron in it. But it's yet another reason why I don't like the slash designation as it has currently evolved (ducking now for responses, LOL). [1]

Reactions and Reviews

I absolutely love this story. It rips my guts out by the root every single time. It's told, really, by the POV of the people who unknowingly snared into the orbit of these two men. Though he doesn't say much in the story, for obvious reasons, Starsky's presence is huge and vibrates through it all. The impact it has on Hutch is just, well, it's gutwrenching and heartwarming at the same time.

Only those of us who are very, VERY lucky will never have to face a time of choice like this. Hutch is lucky in that Starsky is there with him until right up to the end, and Hutch isn't stuck in that eternal endless agony of having to guess for the patient (or for yourself) what to do...remove the vent and end the life of someone you love who can't speak for himself, or keep fighting with everything you have on the remote chance that something might be done about it?

How much is too much? When is enough finally enough?

This story tackles these problems in a very realistic but not overly graphic way and it is a wonderful story of love. The love of holding on. And the love of letting go.

It left me feeling honored to have read it. [2]
This story took me weeks (literally, weeks!) to get over when it first came out. I think I can still find the scars it left. And now we have to read it again??????????? I'm not sure I'm strong enough... Oh, I'll read it again. It's a beautiful story and makes me cry every time. It was written when we were having a discussion on Me and Thee about how unrealistic Sweet Revenge was. So Audrey (our resident medical professional) wrote this and just about broke everyone's hearts.

It remains one of my favourite stories - probably because it is so powerful and sad. And her choice of POV (outsiders looking in at S and H) makes it more real somehow. It grounded S and H in the real world. And I think we all recognized some part of it - or at least I did. I had just been through the long slow decline and death of one of my family and it was just so real in its matter of factness.

And don't get me started on the part when Starsky makes Hutch admit he (Starsky) could die... [3]
I forgot what it was about. The ending got me again. Made me start to think -- what if something happens to one of my immediate family - my husband, my children? With others, I can *leave*, you know? I can put up a wall, turn away when I need to. I wouldn't be able to do that if it were one of my own. Now I'm freaking myself out. Gah.... TISSUES! [4]
Inevitabilis is all kinds of awesome--gorgeous, painful, true and heart-achingly sad. As I nurse, I know this story, know every bit of the flow of a hospital, the long, slow slide of a really sick patient, the weariness of the family and friends who manage to buck up and take the pain, hiding their sorrow as Hutch does, until those little private moments when it all breaks through. The last two lines are killer. [5]
I had exactly the same response after I wrote Crab Sandwiches, so many people said the story worked as a catharsis for their own pain and I was so brave to have worked through my own--except I had never known anyone who died in that way! But I was touched by the outpouring of emotion and release. One of the things I really like about Inevitalilis is that Starsky accepts that he will die--and forces Hutch to face that possibility. It's stark and true, many times the patient knows the truth long before family and friends accept that. [6]
Several years ago, this was probably one of the first 'death fics' I read (even though it technically isn't). It broke my heart, and while I rarely read deathfics, none of the few I've read since ever matched this for poignancy.

I tried reading it again a year or so ago, because it is just so beautifully done (and yes, Audrey, I have since read your own crit of your work *g*), but I could barely skim it.

I now have issues going on in RL that prevent me even opening the story, and am sitting here bawling just at the memory of Inevitibilis. So I guess that's testament to how well this is written, right? Of course, right! :-)

This is a very cathartic piece, informative for those who need to understand what can happen near the end (choices etc as Sue has mentioned in her opening comment), but heartwrenching. Brava, Audrey! Someone pass the Kleenex! [7]
One of my favorite means of reading or writing a story is to see the main characters through the eyes of others, especially outsiders.

This story is an outstanding example of that process. A lot of writers are not confident enough to try it, because one loses the inner feelings of the protagonists. It's easy to show how much love Starsky and Hutch have for each other when you can access their thoughts. It's much harder when you have to show, not tell.

And the piece de resistance, of course, is switching to Starsky's POV at the end, thus ensuring no one can leave the story dry-eyed.

Beautiful piece of writing. [8]
There are a few stories in this fandom that is difficult to read for me not because of the writing, which is superb, but because of how it pulls at the heart strings. And this on pulls the strings Especially for me as it hits really close to home. The level of emotion it provokes I think is what make it so good. Even if one has never been in that situation it still makes you think "what if". [9]
OMG this story leaves me so choked - I'm sitting here with a lump in my throat like I tried to swallow a tablespoon of peanutbutter on it's own.....

Everytime I read it I'm shocked at the ending....when he calls "Mom" at the end and says those last lines, I immediately hear what Dobey said in the eppy, "Hutch - I think you better get down here....."

I love "being in" on the POV of the others in the room - I have spent time in hospital rooms where it wasn't completely private and it seems like you lose that fear of what others hear coz they are going thru their own grief and fears as well and aren't entirely interested in taking on anymore....at least I didn't feel quite so inhibited that there were others in the rooms with us.....

Anyway - this was raw and painful and soo damn real....and as someone else mentioned - probably more like it actually would have been....but I'm glad we got what we got in the end. LOL

This doesn't detract from this story - its amazing and so well done and real that I am aware that these are the reasons it hurts so much to read! [10]
This was incredibly difficult to read but only b/c it was so well written. I both liked and hated the outsider povs, b/c it made the situation obviously just another case among many. I like that although the story was enhanced by unforgiving pieces of medical detail, it wasn't buried in trivia and minutiae.

The only quibble I have is with the first part, where the man is first so overjoyed to see his father stir that he forgets about the drama next door -- and then in the next scene is deliberately ignoring the imminent arrival of his father in order to spy. Either scene is fine in itself, but it seemed odd to me for it to be the same person.

The scene with Sam the transport guy killed me. First the bored quasi-medical personnel, then the coldly objective doctor, followed by that roiling emotional scene with the two men. I've had way more than my share of health professionals who don't even bother to put up a front of caring anymore, and it took me a full day after reading this to stop feeling angry! But oh, it hurt so much to realize how realistic it was, right down to Sam being more worried about his partner's mood than the life-or-death drama of the two strangers he caught only a bored momentary glimpse of.

My favorite part was Starsky's pov. Skillfully disjointed, and again so perfectly real. Heartbreaking but in a beautiful way.

And btw, what a wonderful touch for Hutch to call Starsky's mother 'Mom'. Just that little detail says so much about how close this whole 'family' of people is. [11]
This was terribly sad, but very good. Unreality is part of the fun in fandom, but sometimes I find a cold bath of nasty reality oddly refreshing, and this was very well done. [12]
So, first of all, it's not a happy story. It's post-SR and unlike alot of post-SR stories, Starsky's not gonna bounce back from this one like the Energizer bunny. In fact, there's not much bouncing at all. It's written from multiple outsider POVs, which makes it really effective because you as a reader know who they're speaking of and you have emotional connections with these two men that the outsiders can only touch on briefly. The progression, or rather the descent, haunts you... Sometimes death comes too soon. And sometimes you're forced to live. The latter option is not always the best option. Survival is often a fate worse than being released. And those around you are mere observers in the journey. [13]

References

  1. from aesposito (Audrey) at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  2. from dipslikeramon at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  3. from Susan James at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  4. from lauramcewan at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  5. from dawnebeth at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  6. from dawnebeth at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  7. from sultrystarsk at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  8. from stargale at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  9. from nicoltyler at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  10. from jazzybabe56 at SH Netfic, posted July 6, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  11. from kuonji14 at SH Netfic, posted July 10, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  12. from dalegardener at SH Netfic, posted July 5, 2010, accessed September 24, 2013
  13. a 2006 comment at Crack Van