I'll Be There

Fanfiction
Title:	I'll Be There
Author(s):	Val
Date(s):	November and December 1999
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Starsky & Hutch
Relationship(s):
External Links:
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I'll Be There was a non-explicit slash Starsky & Hutch story by a fan name Val.

It was posted in five parts to The Pits, a mailing list that is now offline. The story contained some song lyrics, so was, in part, a songfic.

While the fic is long gone, one fan's commentary at the time the story was posted is very interesting due to its detail and its candidness.

Some Review Topics

Some of the topics the reviewer discusses are:

• what is slash
• point of view
• story structure
• slash doesn't have to be graphic
• contains the line: "I know a slash writer who insists she wrote her first love scene with a paper bag over her head so her typewriter wouldn't recognize her."
• contains the lines: "Let me dispense with the notion that every slash story has to have a 40 page love scene involving 38 positions, two of them on the chandelier, and that it all must be filled with stark, graphic language. Nothing could be further from the truth."
• uses Suzan Lovett's story Foster-child of Silence and Slow Time as an example of a slash story that works well

The Review

This review is used on Fanlore with the permission of its author, Flamingo.

I'm sorry I'm only getting to Valerie's story, "I'll Be There," now. Life's been kind of chaotic lately. ;-) Also, I never feel comfortable critiquing a story until I read it multiple times and really go over it carefully. This takes time. I wrote to Val privately and made sure she was comfortable with my giving her story a public critique. I know that's what the Pits is for, but it can still be intimidating for any writer to turn on their computer and be hit with a thorough critique when they aren't expecting it. Val assured me she had her writer's armor in place and to go ahead. (And to reassure the rest of you, I would never attempt a critique like this without finding out if the writer were comfortable with it.)

I knew that Val is a pro writer in real life, and that this story was her first foray into slash. So I wanted to single out this story because I figured Val was already used to having her stuff disected. The kind of critique I'm giving here is similar to the kind of thing writers get in writer's workshops. It's not to everyone's taste, but it can be extremely helpful to writers to see their stories from the viewpoint of the reader.

Well, you might say, we're writing *fanfic* here. We're writing it for fun. We're not getting paid for it, so the least we should be able to do is write what we please. And I wouldn't argue with any of that. That's what I do when I write fanfic, write the stuff I can't get anyone to pay me to write. ;-) Yet, many of us want to do more than just satisfy ourselves when we write (though self-satisfaction is of primary importance in my book). We also want to have others read our work and like it. We want our readers to enjoy the experience as much as we did writing it. If that's what we want, then we have to consider other aspects besides our own immediate satisfaction. Because you're asking someone else to spend their valuable time to see what you had to say on this topic. The least you can do is say it well, and try to give the reader a pay-off for spending that time with you. Sometimes you and the reader won't agree on what will make you both happy with the pay-off. That happens. Invariably, whatever you write won't please *everyone*. But, still, there are certain parameters we call "reader satisfaction" that needs to be taken into consideration when we're putting stories into a public forum.

Val's story is very polished, which makes it a real pleasure to read. It's smooth, well-written, adult, and realistic. Many of us can read this story and learn a lot about story construction from it. Immediately, Val establishes her setting, the *where* at the beginning of the story. She establishes the setting with vivid, descriptive language. She *shows* us the disco, makes us hear the music, see the lights, *feel* the atmosphere and does it in just a few brief paragraphs. This verisimilitude really helps root the story and give it a basis for believability. And then she contrasts this strong sense of setting -- a party atmosphere -- with Starsky's depression. And she does it without wasting words. It's terrific writing, concise and on the mark. In addition, Val does something that we all should do. If you read her first few paragraphs you will see how she alters her sentence structure and uses it to emphasis mood and pacing. It's a smooth transition from longer sentences emphasising the dance atmosphere to stark, short sentences that highlight Starsky's bad mood. Very well done. This is using the structure of language to enhance your story. Val also shows us the "when" of the story very soon, telling us it is after the events with Kira. In a fanfic story this is often critical. Think about the effect on this story if we found out it was happening after The Fix. Totally different. We don't know if Gunther's hit has happened yet, but that's not critical. We know it has been a long time since Kira, so we know it's after the primary events of the show. This again helps root us in the believability of the setting.

Val's use of Point of View (POV) is excellent. We are in Starsky's pov from the beginning, and we know it. And in doing so, we get to *be* Starsky, we feel his depression from the inside. It's intimate and personal as if it's happening to us.

I want to commend Val, too, on not demonizing the woman who dumped Starsky as fanfic writers are wont to do. In a few paragraphs Val makes this character real and understandable. The fact that Starsky doesn't resent her and realizes she was right to do it makes her sympathetic. There's no reason for this walk-on character to be the enemy and Val doesn't make her one. She is the catalyst for the plot, does her job with grace and rationale, and it all makes sense.

When Hutch shows up, we know we are in his POV instantly by the scene change. And we are well into Hutch's POV, so the transition isn't jarring. It's a scene change, so we're expecting things to change. Hutch's mindset and rationale for being there are well detailed though brief. And she shows Hutch Starsky's frame of mind very cleverly when Starsky abruptly *orders* Hutch to dance with the attractive girl that's been trying to get his attention.

However, I might mention that this brief scene is the only time we're ever in Hutch's pov, and it's noticable that the entire rest of the story is told in Starsky's pov. (This is good since Starsky is the character to whom the events are most significant -- he's the character in trouble.) Because there is only this one scene in Hutch's pov and it is so brief, it might be better to rewrite this brief segment so that it, too, was in Starsky's pov. How would you do this and yet let us know what Hutch knows? Very easily through dialog. It would be natural for Starsky to ask Hutch how he knew he was there, and Hutch could very briefly outline the chain of events, include mentioning the problem with the murder victim, which he could then dismiss as not as important as Starsky's depression. The same information could be imparted just as briefly and we'd have the consistency of the same pov in a story heavily weighted that way.

The banter between the two guys is believable and amusing without being out of touch with the emotions in the scene. She has their voices and their humor. And yet, she is leading us (the readers) on with provocative lines, like: "Your place or mine?" (Hutch) Starsky laughed. "Listen to ya. Sounds like a proposition. The body's not even cold yet." Hutch grinned. "But it made you laugh. So, what's the answer?"

This kind of subtle inuendo is excellent. We can hear the guys saying it, so it lends a strong aura of believability (critical to any story), yet any slash fan reading this will immediately sit up and pay attention. Hmmm. What's happening here...?

However, when Hutch shows Starsky physical closeness while trying to comfort him, it's not as suggestive. We know these guys are like this. Even to a slash fan this doesn't necessarily mean anything is pending. However, Starsky's dark mood is so intense. When he wonders why Hutch's love couldn't be enough for him, even though we know he isn't immediately thinking of the sexual ramifications or of romantic love, we are convinced he's hit a major turning point in his life, a moment when things are on the cusp of change and that he may not even realize it himself.

The best stories involve the growth and change of the characters that are brought about through the events of the story and that's what we're being given here. If Starsky hadn't broken up with Karen, he wouldn't be in this mood. If Hutch didn't have something to tell Starsky, he wouldn't have called Karen looking for him. If Karen hadn't told Hutch why Starsky wasn't there, Hutch wouldn't have gone looking for him. In this way, each event in the story leads to the next event and if one of the events was removed the story couldn't evolve properly.

After Hutch comforts Starsky physically, the intimate contact never really ends. And now we realize that whatever is slowly dawning on Starsky isn't surprising or upsetting Hutch at all. We have to pay attention to Hutch, the non-POV character to realize this, but since the POV character is paying attention to him, we can do it, too. It is obvious that it is an idea that has clearly come to Hutch, too -- and been accepted. It's just taken Starsky longer to get to the same place. But Hutch is not the person in immediate pain. And rightly, he doesn't dare let Starsky leap into anything, when he knows things could change again in a few days. Because Hutch knows this is too important not to work out. And his caution, tinged so heavily with love and concern for his partner, comes through very well, and is very touching and in character.

Slowly, the writer reveals to the reader what becomes obvious to us more easily than it does to Starsky. Hutch has already been down this road and chosen his path and has decided to live with that in silence. His relationship with Starsky is too precious to jeopardize. But when Starsky gently pushes the situation, embracing Hutch from behind, holding him that intimately, in just a few moments it's too much for Hutch to handle. But Starsky keeps pushing, until Hutch protests with an honest statement that cuts right to the bone: "If I say it, I can't take it back..." and the unspoken, "if you can't handle it, everything is over." Hutch's vulnerability at this moment cuts right to the readers' heart. Because it gives Starsky the out he needs. If he *can't* handle it at this moment he can back away, make a joke and they can pretend they never stood on this threshold together.

But Starsky can't leave it alone, and with his next caress Hutch crumbles, showing us what we've already figured out. It's a strong moment. And Starsky's easy acceptance of it is strong too, and shores Hutch up.

But this is where the story begins to unravel.

In contrast to the strong beginning we had with this story where the writer set up setting, mood, plot, boom, boom, boom, like so many strong bricks to shore up her structure, and then paced the story very well all the way through, here we are at the critical juncture of the story. This is the moment we have traveled this road for. This is why we spent time here, to find out *what is going to happen* -- and essentially, nothing does. Hutch reveals himself, and the moment is there when Starsky should make a decision -- the decision the writer has set us up for, has built the structure for, has led us to believe would happen. And she chickens out. It is clearly the writer who is chickening out, because Starsky has already told us he's ready in many ways: "And Starsky grinned, the slow, lazy grin he usually only gave to a girl he wanted to seduce." " "What I'm thinkin'," Starsky said, "is I coulda saved myself -- and you -- a lot of pain if I'd known this before." Earlier remarks about Starsky wondering if Hutch's love could be enough. And finally, "No, it was time you told me," Starsky said, "before I went out and found some other girl to substitute for you..." He stopped suddenly, having realized what he'd just said. Hutch realized it, too, and went very still in his arms. After a long moment of uneasy silence, Starsky finally said, "Guess I figured out how I felt sooner than I thought I would." (This last sentence finally delivered after a whole lot of unnecessary waffling on the character's parts.)

This story, structured very well in the beginning and middle, fails to deliver any kind of satisfying ending, and definitely fails in the "reader satisfaction" arena. Readers' comments almost all included, "needs a sequal." It doesn't need a sequal, it needs to be *finished*. This story doesn't end it just kind of dribbles away, like romanticus interruptus.

This problem is not fatal, and it is extremely common with new slash writers. It doesn't matter how much stuff you've written in other arenas. Whenever a writer dabbles in slash for the first time, they are often terrified of the ramifications of the topic. "What am I gonna do when I get to *that* moment?" This is why God created editors, who can help writers get past an understandable case of the heebie-jeebies and finish what they started.

So, this is a good time for me to explain to people in the audience who are confused about fanfic classifications (and I suspect this includes the writer of this story) that this most certainly *is* a slash story in the most classic sense of the word. (In fact, almost all the older classic slash stories end at this critical juncture and never deliver the true ending). A slash story is any story in which a romantic or sexual relationship between the characters is expressed or IMPLIED. There are millions of slash stories where there is no physical contact at all. Go read Suzan Lovett's "Foster Child of Silence and Slow Time," on the slash site. One of the characters doesn't even have a *clue*. But that is a slash story. Just as this is. Let me dispense with the notion that every slash story has to have a 40 page love scene involving 38 positions, two of them on the chandelier, and that it all must be filled with stark, graphic language. Nothing could be further from the truth. I've read satisfying love scenes that involved a kiss, that took a paragraph, that never mentioned a single body part, that talked euphimistically around whatever event was occuring, or only accounted for the feelings of the participants without ever describing the unfolding events, and all of these techniques can be satisfying to the reader. Because that is what we were waiting for: something wonderful to happen.

But this is a slash story that sells tickets to a show then closes the curtain before the end of act 1. How can we solve this? Very easily. First, Starsky need to MAKE UP HIS MIND before the last sentence of the story. Fiction isn't like real life. We can waffle all we want in real life and that's expected. But fiction isn't like that, fiction has to MAKE SENSE. Events must lead up to something. Characters must grow and change, not just talk about growing and changing, not just waffle around about growing and changing, not just imply they might grow and change next week. Because of the trip we've taken in this story, we not only care about how Starsky feels, we now are aching for poor Hutch who has been sitting on all this pain for so long. We want to see Hutch be happy. We want to see them both happy. We want to be *sure* of it. We want to see some form of committment. If we saw any of that, we wouldn't need a sequal (and there's no reason a story this concise should have a sequal).

What do I mean when I talk about committment? I mean a physical demonstration of a committment. Talk is cheap. Do they need to yank each other's clothes off and go at it like bunnies? No! That would be completely out of keeping with the tone and flavor of this story. But with all this hugging and touching and stroking (which you notice, had all the earmarks of making out, but the writer and her readers had no trouble with any of that), we need something more. It could've been as simple as a change in tone of the embrace. Or a very loving kiss, and Starsky's feelings surrounding the newness of his discovery about it. We already saw his reaction when Hutch touched his crotch. (That was *foreshadowing*, I thought, and a good case of it. As I said, you sold all the tickets, but the ice dancers never showed up.) We could've seen the surge of feeling from Hutch, experienced his joy, and then we would've been satisfied! We would've felt we'd been given what we'd been lead to believe was coming.

I know a slash writer who insists she wrote her first love scene with a paper bag over her head so her typewriter wouldn't recognize her. I think everyone who writes their first physically romantic scene has problems with it. But you can't use that as a cop out.

In her monday morning quarterbacking note, Val writes, "Anyway, it all sort of jelled into "I'll Be There" (the story) and when I asked some of you (you know who you are!) if I should slash it, the majority rule was "Yes". I just hinted at slash, though, because I didn't think graphics suited the story."

Val, if you hadn't "slashed" this story it would've had no point at all. What would have been the point of writing a story where Starsky breaks up with a girl, and Hutch comforts him as a friend? We already *know* Hutch loves Starsky and that they comfort each other in times of need. Where would the growth and change have been in that story? It would've just been business as usual, and that is essentially a story with no point, and no conflict to solve. It's not a story. While gen stories can certainly be about the emotional relationship of the guys, still something has to HAPPEN, and the characters have to grow and change in the course of the story. This story is a classic slash story and told well. You only asked people if you should slash the story because instinctively you knew it would have no point otherwise. You're too experienced a writer not to know that. You just wanted someone else to shore up your decision. Nothing wrong with that. Most of us bounce ideas off others to help us focus on a new idea or something that maybe we're not quite comfortable with.

But your statement, "I just hinted at slash, though, because I didn't think graphics suited the story." just shows your lack of familiarity with this complicated genre. Slash does NOT equal "hard sex." It is not a requirement and many fans don't even like it. There are tons of slash writers who absolutely will not write any graphic sex and in SH slash fandom it is very common for there to be no sex in any of the stories. Also, there is no reason any sex scene or any *love* scene has to have any kind of graphics in it. I've read very hot scenes that only demonstrated the sex act through the *emotional feelings* of the person experiencing it or in the physical reactions of the non-pov character. No body parts. No runny juices. None of that. So that excuse won't flow.

You need to go back and review this story in a week or two and think about it and *finish* it. Which probably would take less than half a page. It's a terrific story -- almost. There is so much right about it, that the omission of a satisfying ending really mars it.

And please let me know when it's finished. I'd really like to read it again once it's done. ;-)