First Touch

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K/S Fanfiction
Title: First Touch
Author(s): Morgan Lefey
Date(s): 2003
Genre: slash
Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series
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First Touch is a Kirk/Spock story by Morgan Lefey.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #23.


"Sudden memories of a past they never consciously knew confront Kirk and Spock."

Reactions and Reviews

I love stories that posit Kirk and Spock meeting at an earlier age. And when those stories are as well written as this one and, well. I'm hooked, I'd enjoyed Morgan's stories on the net so I knew I was in for a real treat. Oh, by the way, here's a spoiler alert.

It starts with the dreams Kirk has been having; dreams of being on Earth as a young child, his Vulcan friend at his side even then. In the dreams Kirk is always falling. actually jumping, from a large tree that grew on the Kirk farm as he pretends to be Superman.

But in the here and now, he and Spock aren't communicating well. Actually, Spock has been avoiding him. It's only been days since their fight to the death on Vulcan, and diplomatic duties on Altair have kept Kirk from the ship ever since. Now back on the ship and his sleep once again disrupted. Kirk puts in a call to his mother, hoping she can give him some clue as to why he's having these dreams of Spock.

And that's when you get the first hint that Kirk may be more right than he knows when he wonders if he and Spock shared a past. His mother is vague, brushing off his concerns and acting nervous. After he ends the call, he dreams twice more.

The dreams are very well done. Writing Kirk and Spock as children appears to be very difficult because few writers have done it successfully. Too often you're in danger of going into sugar overload, their behavior is so saccherine. But not in this story. The child Kirk is irrepressible; the young Spock a study in controlled yearnings. Both are simply irresistible.

Interspersed with the dreams are Amanda's and Winona's memories. It seems that the two men *did* meet as children when Amanda and Spock, on a visit to Earth, are stranded in Iowa when their flitter breaks down. Through their eyes you see how Kirk and Spock become close and then, after Kirk's fall from the tree, something more. The idea of t'hy'la has always held a wide spectrum of meaning; not necessarily including lover. When Kirk finally realizes that his dreams are really lost memories, he confronts his mother. It turns out that though only children, he and Spock had become t'h/la. creating a link that threatened Spock's to T'Pring. When Kirk had fallen from the tree, Spock had melded with him to ascertain the extent of Kirk's injuries. From that first melding, their relationship had blossomed until finally a bond is created. When Sarek is informed, he orders Amanda and Spock back to Vulcan where the bond is broken.

It's heartbreaking to read how devastated the child Kirk is when his friend is taken from him. Especially, when an adult Kirk and Spock finally meld so that Kirk can remember all that was taken from him along with the bond. You witness as Kirk gets past Spock's reservations and they meld again; and see the human child fight against the young Vulcan female who threatens what he has. And though he loses that mental fight, he leaves enough of himself behind to forever hold Spock to him. The last act is a fantastically erotic, yet romantic, love scene. The years of separation are over.

There's so much more to this story than what I've covered. Beautifully written passages abound in scenes of great tenderness. I think the only thing I didn't like was the inclusion of the song. A verse at the beginning would have worked better for me than whole parts of the song within the body of the story. Often, what sounds wonderfully romantic and emotionally charged when set to music, comes across rather trite in print. Other than that, this is a truly enjoyable story, one I know I'll return to again and again. [1]
What a wonderful story! I loved it, and the author managed to come up with a plot that I hadn’t ever read before. Gilda did a beautiful job in her LOC in the February KSP of summarizing the plot and describing why the story is so good, so I’ll just ramble on with a few of my own impressions. I often enjoy stories where Kirk and Spock meet before they served together on the Enterprise, but the ones I’ve read and enjoyed usually have them meet as teenagers or while in their twenties. I’ve never read a story which involved them meeting as young children, and quite frankly, that put me off reading the story for a while. I wasn’t so sure I was going to like this concept, so this was the last story I read in the zine. (Ironic, since this story turned out to be my favorite.) But Morgan does a wonderful job of capturing Kirk (at age 5) and Spock (at age 9) and makes their meeting and their friendship utterly believable to me. Kirk is adorable at age 5, and you can see the qualities he has as an adult in the young child—his charm (he had already discovered the uses of that killer smile), his determination, his strength of will, and his fearlessness. I loved the way he was fascinated with Spock immediately, and wanted to be his friend, and the way the author portrayed Spock as being drawn to the young Kirk.

The exchanges between Amanda and Winona Kirk were also very interesting to read, as Amanda tells Winona some of her feelings about having a half Vulcan son who dislikes being touched, and tries to bury his human side. It’s heartbreaking to see how she envies Winona’s relationship with Jim Kirk, since Amanda can never hug her son, or kiss him, or tell him she loves him; and how much she enjoyed cuddling the 5 year old Jim Kirk. After Spock’s pon farr, the childhood memories that had been supposedly removed from their minds by Vulcan healers begin to return and Kirk and Spock finally are able to talk as adults about what had happened between them as children. We find out that Spock had been equally fascinated with the young Jim Kirk when Spock tells Kirk that the reason he had first mind melded with him as a child (after Kirk had fallen out of a tree and been knocked unconscious) was not only to see how badly he was injured, but for another reason: “I wanted to see the world through your eyes.” Spock agrees to a mind meld with Kirk so his memories can be completely restored. Through this we learn that the young Spock agreed to 5 year old Jim Kirk’s plan to become blood brothers, and mind melded with him during the ritual. I liked the description of this meld, and Jim’s awareness of the idea of t’hy’la—an idea he obviously doesn’t completely understand at age 5, but enough so that when T’Pring tries to reassert her bond with Spock, Kirk takes over and reinforces his love for Spock in a way that results in a bond between the two children. I loved the idea of a spontaneous bond forming between them when they mind melded as children; a bond that even the best efforts of Vulcan healers were unable to completely eradicate, and a bond that strengthened once they were serving on the Enterprise together. The story ends as Kirk and Spock declare their love for each other, and make love.

My only complaint about this wonderful story is that I wanted it to be longer. I would have liked the love scene to be a bit longer and to have some conversation between Kirk and Spock after making love for the first time. Also, the situation with Winona Kirk is left unresolved. After telling Kirk that his dreams are actually memories that had been taken from him by Vulcan healers, one of her last thoughts was that she hoped she had not lost him due to her deception. So I would have like a scene where Kirk tells his mother about him and Spock. Not to mention Spock and his parents need to have a little discussion as well. But maybe I’m just being greedy—I enjoyed the story so much that I didn’t want it to end! [2]


  1. from The K/S Press #89
  2. from The K/S Press #91