Episode One: The Quiet Padawan

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Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan Fanfiction
Title: Episode One: The Quiet Padawan
Author(s): torch
Date(s): 04 March 2007
Length: 12,700 words
Genre: slash fanfiction
Fandom: Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
External Links: Episode One: The Quiet Padawan (The Flambeau Factory)
Episode One: The Quiet Padawan 1 2 (LiveJournal)

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Episode One: The Quiet Padawan is a Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan story by torch.

Summary: PG. A Heyer fusion. A spirited young student and a world-weary Jedi master are equally determined that they have no interest in each other.

Author's notes:
Yes, that fandom listing does say Star Wars: The Phantom Menace/Georgette Heyer. No, it's not a crossover, more of a fusion, sort of. Yes, I'm probably crazy. Yes, there is an explanation -- again, sort of.

See, I'm a big Heyer fan, and so is marycrawford, and we've been working on getting merryish hooked, and one day we sat around chatting about Heyer, and Heyer books we like, and certain Heyer quirks and tropes, like the masterful hero, and the sizeable age difference, and something went pop in my brain and I said:

<flambeau> oh, you know
<flambeau> if Heyer were a fan today
<flambeau> she'd be in Phantom Menace fandom

Now, quite possibly you can say that to a couple of nice, normal, sane people, and they will pat you on the head and say "Yes, dear," and give you a cup of tea and make sure you sit down until you feel better. Those two? Not so much. They encouraged me.

<marycrawford> with a wild and spirited Obi Wan
<merryish> HEE
<merryish> with flashing eyes
<flambeau> oh god yes
<marycrawford> and a resigned and elegant Qui-Gon
<marycrawford> ahahah
<merryish> omg you should write that, torch
<flambeau> and all-knowing Qui-Gon who might have to comb his hair more often than he did in the movie
<marycrawford> with broad shoulders beneath those robes
<merryish> a little PM story as Heyer would've done it
<flambeau> ohgod

And about thirty seconds after that, I started writing what I intended should be about a thousand words or so on the subject. I'd just like to make it totally clear that this is not my fault. They made me! Mary, in particular, cheered me on from the first word to the last, and I am eternally grateful to her and Merry and Ellen for getting into the spirit of things. :)

Short version: this is probably not what it would have been like if Georgette Heyer had written TPM fanfic. But you never know!

Recs and Reviews

Oh my God! This is the best crack ever! A Regency-style romance with Jedi padawans and masters! There are no words! Highly recommended.[1]
this is such delicious crack. I don't know why, exactly, but the combination of Georgette Heyer marriage-mart dynamics with the Jedi order is the most hilarious thing of all time. Yoda with a snuff-box! Ways of tying your sash! Alderaan tragedies! Carte noire!! And:

a man who, so rumor had it, only need smile faintly, or give a gracious nod, for more impressionable young students to scratch a tentative Q-G on the handle of their lightsaber; the bolder ones had even been known to tie love-knots in their hair, at the spot most commonly chosen for a padawan braid.

*collapses into helpless giggles* I can't even pick out all the other the perfect-fusion lines which made me laugh and laugh. This is all just so fantastic. And I love Qui-Gon as the languid nonpareil and Obi-Wan as the seekritly passionate Proper debuntante with an unfairly tarnished reputation, oh, so much. It pushes all my Regency Romance buttons. And then the Marriage of Convenience plot! *wins* I'd love to see more of this.[2]
I spent the entire reading process wailing with glee. I will be handing the link to anyone and everyone I knew who could possibly appreciate the glory of what you had done.

I did manage not to frighten away the cat until the snuffbox, but it was a close thing when it became clear just how tarnished Obi-Wan's reputation was by his association with Bruck.

You have my utmost admiration for this.[3]
Oh joy! This was so amazing I had to read it twice! I almost didn't read it at all, a tragedy which I'm glad was averted. I love Heyer intensely but had never read Star Wars fic, so was worried I'd be lost. I eventually overcame my doubts as I recalled that all the other things I've read of yours (mostly HP) have been absolutely awesome. Once again your genius wins, as I had no trouble following the characters. Yoda was especially fun to read - the cane! the snuff-box! the match-making! Thank you so much for sharing this![4]
The One That Features a Padawan of Convenience. How Wonderful Is That? Episode One: The Quiet Padawan, by flambeau. The Phantom Menace x Georgette Heyer. I am really not kidding about that, and you would think it could not possibly work, but you would be wrong. Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi, sort of.

So. I put off reading this for almost two years, largely because George Lucas has scarred my psyche so badly that even the words "Star Wars," can, in certain cases, make me weep giant tears of true pain. [...]

Anyway. Enough about my Star Wars trauma. Let's talk about this story. Because, oh, I am so sorry I put off reading it. It is brilliant. It is perfect. It is a work of stunning genius. If you've never read Heyer (her romances, I mean; I think I'm alone, and I mean alone in the universe, in having loved most of her mystery novels), it doesn't matter. Think mannered regency romance. With Jedis. He's a master who has loved before, and badly! And he's a young, rustic student with a stain on his reputation and a need for a master! And Yoda is a meddling busybody who always knows best! And Mace Windu has a hangover and a very snarky tongue!

My love for this cannot be rendered in any medium whatsoever. This story has done more to reconcile me to the Star Wars brand than a written personal apology from Lucas could. Hell, it's done more to reconcile me than someone punching Lucas in the nose could. If you are - as I once was, and not too long ago - in the tragic situation of somehow having failed to read this, remedy that at once. Your life will be sunshine and puppies thereafter.[5]


  1. ^ cupidsbow in rec_room: SW:The Phantom Menace: Jinn/Kenobi, 29 May 2007. (Accessed 26 April 2015)
  2. ^ solvent90. Comment, 04 March 2007. (Accessed 26 April 2015)
  3. ^ petronelle. Comment, 05 March 2007. (Accessed 26 April 2015)
  4. ^ nakedbee. Comment, 14 March 2007. (Accessed 26 April 2015)
  5. ^ thefourthvine. 187: Change Is the Only Constant, 04 February 2009. (Accessed 26 April 2015)