Doctor, Tailor, Officer, Spy

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Title: Doctor...Tailor...Officer...Spy
Publisher: Cinnamon and Spice Press
Editor(s): Karen Colohan (Yavanna)
Date(s): 1997-1998
Medium: print zine
Genre: slash
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space 9
Language: English
External Links:
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cover of issue #1, Karen Colohan

Doctor, Tailor, Officer, Spy is a Garak/Bashir slash anthology. Note: the cover spelling of the title is Doctor... Tailor... Officer... Spy."

An age statement was required for purchase:
WARNING: The stories in this zine portray an intimate relationship between two men. If such material offends you please do not obtain a copy. The zine will not knowingly be sold to anyone under the age of eighteen. Age statement required.

A third issue was planned, but never published.

Issue 1

Doctor, Tailor, Officer, Spy 1 was published in June 1997 and contains 176 pages. Karen Colohan is the front cover artist.

From the zine: "All the wonderful illustrations to be found throughout are courtesy of BGM, with the exception of those for "Julian Bashir - Secret Agent" and "Brotherhood", which are by Anja Gruber and the cartoon, which is by Elvis."

The pagination is tricky, as each story is numbered separately.

  • If You Can't Stand the Heat... by Yavanna (12 pages) (Bashir takes Garak for a holiday on Earth and shows the Cardassian the proper way to enjoy a sauna... )
  • Agendas by DVS (10 pages)
  • Protector by Shelley Wright (6 pages)
  • Favor for a Friend by BGM (6 pages)
  • In the Dark by Stanley (20 pages)
  • Julian Bashir - Secret Agent Oh-Oh-Yes! by Victoria Leigh (28 pages) (An accident in Bashir's quarters provides Garak with an unexpected opportunity to get inside the mind of Julian Bashir - Secret Agent...)
  • Two Years by Uschi Brecht (2 pages)
  • Brotherhood is Not by the Blood by Mary Knasinski (30 pages) (After Bashir and Garak are captured and tortured by a group of Maquis, Garak's reactions to their ordeal become increasingly unpredictable and violent. Bashir's solution for laying the ghosts of their tormentors to rest does not have the result he expects... Author's note: "This story depicts the occurrence of a violent and disturbing event in the lives of Garak and Bashir, as well as my interpretation of Garak's possible equally violent reaction to such an event. Thus, the actions portrayed here may be upsetting to some readers; my intent was simply to explore one possible resolution. The story is set shortly after "The Maquis."")
  • Future Prologue by Sadja Mirza (10 pages)
  • Goodbye is Forever by Yavanna (4 pages)
  • Lunch by Kathy Virette (4 pages)
  • The Horror, the Horror by Susan C. Harris (written in script form. It's time for the Bajoran drama festival and Sisko decides the Federation offering should be that classic of Terran musical theatre "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"...) (Another story in this series is "The Horror, The Horror" in issue #2.) (44 pages)

Issue 2

cover of issue #2, Karen Colohan

Doctor, Tailor, Officer, Spy 2 was published in March 1998 and is 185 pages long with artwork by BGM and Anja Gruber. Karen Colohan is the front cover artist.

  • The Head and the Heart by Yavanna (songfic to a Chris de Burgh song) (1)
  • Suddenly Love by GoldenDye (companion piece to The Head and the Heart, songfic to a Chris de Burgh song) (4)
  • Into the Mirror by Carolann Potee (7)
  • Seeking What is Yet Unfound by A.R. Mitchell (A meeting with an old friend from Starfleet medical causes Bashir to re-evaluate his friendship with Garak and a trip to an orphanage on Bajor provides a further impetus to their relationship. ..) (25)
  • Interspecies Courtship Rituals by Kathryn Ramage (Bashir finds himself on the receiving end of an especially insistent Cardassian pursuit, but just who is in control of this particular courtship... ?) (41)
  • Breakfast at Julian's by GoldenDye (54)
  • Nursery Rhymes by BGM (Author's note: "NOTE: The term 'Heldek Stor' was borrowed with permission from The Plaid Adder. Thanks Plaidder! Editor's note: This story was substantially written in 1996, before the episodes "In Purgatory's Shadow" and "Doctor Bashir, I Presume" were aired. Nevertheless, I think that even though certain characterisations now need to be viewed as being from an AU the story still stands on its own merits.") (All Bashir and Garak wanted was a child of their own to make their family complete. Was that really such a crime?) (64)
  • With Just One Touch by Diana Bloomfield (86)
  • Give and Take by Yavanna (Author's notes: "The inspiration for this story is readily acknowledged as Ruth Gifford who devised the following descriptions and sent my mind running in a quite unaccustomed direction....") (93)
  • I Never by The Plaid Adder (written in script form, sequel to "The Horror, The Horror" in issue #1.) (102)
  • Heat by Joanne Francis (Author's note: "Here is the sequel to my very first work of fanfiction, "House Call", which I wrote over the '96 Christmas holidays. If you haven't read "House Call", published in "A Plain And Simple Zine #10", why, you are missing out on a priceless cultural and literary experience! :) Strictly speaking though, you don't have to have read "House Call" to enjoy its sequel, but you would probably enjoy it more. I've revised the time frame of these two stories from between "The Wire" and "In Purgatory's Shadow" to between shortly after "Improbable Cause" and "The Die Is Cast" up to "In Purgatory's Shadow". This is done solely to accommodate the appearance of Garak's red suit and the open neck collars. This story also includes knowledge of Bashir's background that we don't get until "Dr. Bashir, I Presume". Grateful thanks are due to Terrie Drummonds for reviewing this story for me. Thank you!") (122)
  • Earth by Mary Knasinski (Gul Elim Garak and his prisoner Captain Julian Bashir survive the crash of their ship, but all is not as the Cardassian is expecting. Where exactly is it that they have landed...?) (138)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

See reactions and reviews for Interspecies Courtship Rituals.

External Links