Devil with a Glass Hand

Star Trek TNG Fanfiction
Title:	Devil with a Glass Hand
Author(s):	Tammy L. Croft
Date(s):	1991
Length:	17 pages
Genre:	gen
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Next Generation
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Devil with a Glass Hand is a gen Star Trek: TNG story by Tammy L. Croft.

It was printed in Vonegran's Veil.

Author's Comments

In late 1992, one of the author wrote about her story in an essay titled: "Working with the Editor: My Experience with "Vonegran's Veil."

Rewriting a story from the editor's comments is hard work and a judgment call. Trying to balance out the comments and suggestions from two editors is harder. Believe me, I know! My story "Devil with a Glass Hand" in Vonegran's Veil went through four drafts before everyone was finally satisfied - and editors Pat Ames and Shirley Johnson look at things very differently. So, to give you a look at the give-and-take necessary to refine a story, here's a look at my experience. One thing I must stress; from the beginning, Pat and Shirley always pointed out that they were making suggestions, the final decisions were always mine. Frankly, I think they made it a better story.

First, for those of you who have not read VV (which was reviewed in Writers' Exchange #2), here's a brief synopsis of my story: While investigating a sector of space known as Vonegran's Veil, the Enterprise discovers a system that has abnormally high radiation. One planet has shielded structures on the surface, so Picard investigates, leaving Riker in command. (Riker is recovering from a sudden illness.) While they are beaming down, the transporter apparently malfunctions, leaving the away team (Picard, Crusher, Data, Troi and Worf) stranded. In the habitat, the away team meets Chalren, the guardian/protector of the planet's population, which is in suspended animation until the radiation subsides. Chalren is trying to recover the missing components to her cybernetic hand while being stalked by the Xlarin, the other side in a devastating nuclear war. In fact, Chalren is an android and the Xlarin are the mutated descendants of the sleeping population; they have journeyed into the past to provoke the war and destroy the sleeping population.

From the beginning, I had trouble with the technical background. The biggest problem lay with the terminology. I tried to develop a consistent terminology for Chalren and to add to the existing terminology for ST:TNG. I tried to stay away from anything that indicated 20th century Earth, though this caused no end of problems for me. The basic criteria was that the technical terms I developed be sufficiently 'alien' to indicate Chalren's culture and still be self explanatory. (I am still not certain if my terminology works.)

One example of this was the medical/radiation sensors worn by the Enterprise away team. Pat and Shirley gave me many suggestions on what to call them, but none of us could really come up with anything that didn't suggest RAD counter or dosimeter. Whatever I came up with was awkward or outlandishly long. I finally settled on 'sensor patch' and put in a short descriptive note that they were radiation sensitive plastic. Part of the problem, however, lay with my understanding of the communicators. Pat told me that they also function as gross medical sensors, while I had assumed that they were only communicators, with maybe a life sensor included (i.e. the communicator emitted a biosignal as long as it was worn by a living being, but nothing diagnostic). Pat informed me otherwise and I bowed to her judgment on this.

Unfortunately for my story, as Pat and Shirley were quick to point out, most of the technical details were only sketched out in the draft I had first submitted to them. I had thought out the technical background, but there wasn't enough detail to support it. It would take another two drafts before everyone was satisfied that everything could be understood by the reader.

Call it the curse of being computer illiterate (though I have used a computer in the past and liked it), I do not understand how computers work and a lot of the technical background focused on a planet-wide computer system and how Chalren interfaced (in the literal sense) with it. I finally elected not to explain too much about how Chalren does what she does - I just showed her actions and the results.

A plot change (specifically eliminating the time travel angle) meant that I had to develop the Xlarin's transporter system in depth since it was now an important element. Because of this, a scene where Geordi and Lt. Shomada investigate the satellite was added. Cutting the time travel element let me emphasize the Xlarin fanaticism more than I had previously been able to in the original final confrontation.

I had no major problems with characterization: most suggestions in this area concerned 'playing up' some elements I had only mentioned in passing. Because Chalren literally has power at her fingertips, character movement was rewritten to emphasize the use of hands. Worf's role was expanded, while Data's was altered to reflect his natural fascination with such a 'human' android.

I found working with Pat Ames and Shirley Johnson to be a lot of work, but interesting and a terrific learning experience. They were professional and supportive through all four rewrites, repeatedly stressing that they were only making suggestions - not dictating changes. The little pieces they added to the story were always subject to my approval (and I would usually rewrite their additions) and I could have killed the story at any time. With Pat's and Shirley's help, I managed to develop a decent story out of enough material for a novel. I was looking forward to working with them on Vonegran's Veil II, but alas, as of now there won't be a second issue.

Shortly after, the editor replied to the author's comments. See: "Working with the Writers: My Experience with "Vonegran's Veil".

Reactions and Reviews

If the title rings a bell with viewers of The Outer Limits, then you'd hardly be surprised to find in the Veil a world similar to the Earth depicted in 'The Devil with A Glass Hand' written by "City on the Edge of Forever's" Harlan Ellison. Croft's version has been slightly updated to include the Enterprise gang and a sex role reversal for the title character, and ends somewhere before the major revelation of the original. For those not in the know, the story concerns an android sent back into time to guard the last survivors of humanity, who cannot come out from hiding until the radiation they unleashed in an attack on invading aliens subsides to livable levels. Problem is the android can't remember why he's guarding the humans, when it's safe to let them out, or even where they're hiding.