Decisions (Star Trek: TOS story by Rosemarie Heaton)

From Fanlore
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Fanfiction
Title: Decisions
Author(s): Rosemarie Heaton
Date(s): 1995
Length:
Genre(s): slash
Fandom(s): Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s): Kirk/Spock
External Links:

Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Decisions is a Kirk/Spock story in three parts by Rosemarie Heaton.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #16.

Summary

  • Decisions (Spockʼs illness and the start of their love affair create even more problems between Kirk and Spock as they try to understand where each fits into their life.)
  • Endings (Though their affair is not going well, Spock is distressed by Kirkʼs involvement with Rayna and only their run-in with Janice Lester gives both men the impetus to try once more.)
  • Interdict (The Enterprise is called to investigate a planet the Federation wishes to have colonized, but is unable to over-rule Vulcanʼs veto without further proof of its safety.)

Reactions and Reviews

1995

Even if the first line really should have been Kirk asking Spock to "go to bed" with him, this story has a good beginning. I loved the idea of Kirk marching into Spock's quarters and announcing that!

Spock is sick with a mysterious (and baffling, as it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything) illness and Kirk must deal with it, as well as not let on to McCoy about his real feelings for Spock.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind a few British phrases or spellings - but in the case of the word "realise" (realize) and all its various forms, there were so many I was tempted to count them. My guess is about sixty-five, plus or minus.

One term confused me: "When they reached the house, Spock parked the vehicle, got out and took a hamper through into the kitchen area." In the US, a hamper is a container for dirty laundry. What was Spock doing with his laundry?

I'm sorry, but I can't resist: "Once McCoy had put his call through the Vulcan said seriously...." and "Turning he advanced on the Vulcan pulling the towel away." And can't you just see Kirk purse his lips and cuddle?

Still, a good effort from (again, a presumption) a new writer. I want to acknowledge the recent works I've read from British K/Sers. The stories are definitely unique and varied and I look forward to reading more.[1]

I found myself confused all the way through this piece. It attempts to be a first-time story written in a sort of shorthand, but its not really a story at all. Anyone who wants to know the difference between an actual story and a collection of words should look at this piece for clarification.

Here's basically what happens: Kirk comes into Spock's quarters and is made to wait (as are we, for half a page) white Spock finishes some bit of business on his terminal. Then when Kirk finally gets to speak, he asks Spock to go to bed with him. Just like that. Another half page of debate—the very first conversation the two have ever had on the subject—and then they are making love by page two.

Kirk's provocative Question would have been a good opener for an actual story; that one line conjures lots of ideas and would surely hook readers, but here it's buried and doesn't lead to anything of substance, so it's wasted. So is the rest of the scene, which is pretty unbelievable.

Spock soon comes down with some virus that makes him very tired (sounds like mononucleosis) and McCoy figures out there's been hanky-panky in the command team. The doctor confronts Kirk with his knowledge, lets loose with some out-of-character opinions about the relationship-not bigotry, but what sounds more like jealousy, except that we're told it's really his professional concern about a conflict with their jobs or with Starfleet regs—I'm still not sure. Worse, though Spock remains ill right through to the end of the story, McCoy never solves his medical problem. I guess we're supposed to assume it happens later, after the story is over.

All three characters, in fact, are out of character, though not flagrantly. After all, Spock's not doing tap dances or laughing uproariously in public. It's a more subtle problem. For example. Kirk blithely leaves the ship for rest leave with Spock, then has lots of sex with Spock when Spock's supposed to be recuperating . . . that sort of thing, A little irresponsible for Kirk; subtly out of character.

As for the other two, McCoy's surliness is never adequately explained, and Spock does a few truly illogical things, such as request a transfer because he has decided he is "chronically ill," though McCoy apparently doesn't agree. Come on, where's the Spock who tried to rip out the tubes and go to the bridge in the middle of an operation ("Journey to Babel'") or broke out of sickbay, ignored agonizing pain, and beamed down to collect a sample of the "brain cells" that had infected him ("Operation: Annihilate"!?)

As for the writing style, danglers, run-on sentences and especially the lack of proper punctuation make this piece somewhat hard to read. But far more distracting is the fact that so many scenes, lines of dialogue, and lines of description are not only unnecessary, but pointless. They don't do anything. The piece doesn't really end; it just sort of peters out, and the final line "I am only waiting on you. Doctor," makes no sensa. (Not to mention that its ungrammatical, therefore out of character for Spock. who would say, "I am waiting for you,") There's no resolution, but neither was there any issue, other than maybe Spock's illness. that needed to be resolved. This piece needs a clear beginning, middle, and end. and even more, it needs a compelling reason to have been written. Really, it didn't seem to have a purpose- I realize the author is probably very new to writing, and I know how tough it is to edit one's own work. But here are my suggestions: What she needed to do here was to go back and ask herself what point she was trying to make, and then construct a story around that. What climax did she want her story to come to? This piece hss no climax, no opening gambit, no resolution; in short, it has none of the structural parts of a short story. In order to write a story that will satisfy readers, the writer must give the characters some goal to achieve or some problem to resolve. Readers are hooked and carried along by the suspense of not knowing whether the characters will achieve their goal. The outcome, whether for good or ill. is a necessary part of the story: did the characters get what they were striving for? Readers need to know. Without goal and outcome, as in "Decisions/ there's no story, at least, not anything a modern reader would call a story. I'd like to see the author try to write a piece with those ideas in mind. I think she'd find that a first-time scenario is full of possibilities for suspense -- even if it's just "will they, won't they?"—and a satisfying outcome [2]

References

  1. ^ from Come Together #19
  2. ^ from Come Together #20