Carnival (Star Trek: TOS story)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Carnival
Author(s):	Jesmihr
Date(s):	2006
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:	Side by Side Collection on AO3
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Carnival is a Kirk/Spock story by Jesmihr.

It was published in the print zine Kindle My Heart #2 and subsequently in Side by Side #23.

Summary:

"Kirk has been unable to deal with his grief over Sam's death, so McCoy invites him along when he and Scotty go to a carnival, unaware that there is a second reason for Kirkʼs distress."

Reactions and Reviews

Jesmihr’s an author that I discovered on line and enjoyed her K/S stories. I’ve been pleased to see her appearing in zines now. Hopefully, this brings her to a whole new audience in our fandom. Carnival is my favourite story in this new KMH zine. As far as I can see, the title refers to an event that we find Kirk attending at the opening of the story, with Bones and Scotty. It’s post-Operation Annihilate, but Bones feels strongly that it’s more than the loss of family that’s affecting Jim’s mood.... He’s virtually ordered him to come along, to try to improve things. There’s an amusing paragraph where we see Bones and Scotty ‘at work’, amusing themselves at the sideshows: the good Doctor establishes a rapport , distracts the owner whilst the Engineer ‘adjusts’ any equipment, then proceeds to win every prize available.... Once Kirk makes his excuses and escapes from his friends, we begin to learn what is disturbing him. Jesmihr tells her story at her own pace, however, and we get to see the sideshows as he passes by, quite graphically...”carnivals...like really bad alternate universes... with more lights and less purpose.” He eventually stops at a booth announcing itself as a Fortune teller. The alien 'Nivoq' is vividly described ( he has a voice like a’ half clogged drain‘) and we even get to see Kirk briefly through its eyes. The rhyme that forms Kirk’s fortune is depressing to say the least and it makes him angry...It mentions a brother lost due to fate and implies another will be lost ‘through fear’...And then we learn what happened. Kirk has to remember. He was in his quarters, mourning Sam, when Spock arrives. In a beautifully described scene, Spock senses Jim’s grief and simply ... holds him. We almost experience the embrace along with Jim. Feel his reaction to it and are not at all surprised when Spock ... kisses him. Twice.

Every one should read Jim’s memories of these kisses: The first kiss was pure devotion. The second kiss was raw desire. Wow! We see then that Jim had panicked, shoved Spock away and watched him leave with a look of ‘horrified anguish’. This is the point where the story opens. Kirk has been wondering what to do for two weeks. The Fortune is the catalyst and Jim realises that Spock will leave him if things remain as they are. How he explains his feelings to Spock and how they eventually resolve to embark upon a full sexual relationship take up the next 14 pages. Err...that includes the actual sex scene of course. Well worth the wait. As I said, her own pace, and it’s very powerful. Spock is shown the various ‘holos’ in Jim’s collection: relatives, friends.. and ex-lovers. The point of view switches effortlessly to Spock as we see these through his eyes, experience his jealousy and discomfort. Jesmihr’s Spock is every bit as thoughtfully portrayed as her Kirk.

I really enjoyed this story, as you can gather, I’m sure! Thanks, Gail, for bringing it to us.

This story has a serious theme, enlivened with Jesmihr‘s signature humor. It is one month after Sam Kirk‘s death on Deneva, and a moody Kirk finally agrees to leave the ship and go to a carnival with McCoy & Scotty. I love how Jesmihr describes a carnival on another planet – so familiar (games, food, rides) but also alien (a phaser shooting gallery and a dunk the Kingon game, deep fried weedlesnix and ice cold bracksludge, and a rhyming fortune teller that resembles a bag of laundry!) I liked the part where McCoy and Scotty proceed to figure out the trick behind every game on the midway and then take advantage of that knowledge to win prizes for, as Scotty puts it, the lassies on board ship. However, McCoy is worried about Kirk, since he seems to be bothered by more than his brother‘s death, but Kirk isn‘t talking. McCoy even attempted to get Spock to intercede, but as he tells Scotty “I gotta admit, that damn Vulcan may have his shortcomings, but he can tell you to fuck off more elegantly than anyone I've ever known." Kirk wanders off by himself at the carnival, and in an amusing scene is convinced to have his fortune told. However, he is very disturbed by what he hears: "One brother lost through fear. Another lost through fate. The saddest words to hear? Too late. Too late. Too late." Back on the ship, Kirk remembers how Spock had comforted him when he was grieving after Sam‘s death, and how he had reacted to Spock when that comforting had turned into something more. Kirk realizes he will lose Spock if he can‘t come to terms with his reaction and make amends. This is all resolved in a most satisfactory fashion, concluding with some incredibly hot lovemaking. I thoroughly enjoyed this.