Blue Courage

Fanfiction
Title:	Blue Courage
Author(s):	Kay Wells
Date(s):	1993
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Blue Courage is a Kirk/Spock story by Kay Wells.

It was published in the print zine First Time #35.

Summary

"Kirk, thinking theyʼre going to die before help can arrive, talks Spock into making love while marooned on an unknown planet."

Reactions and Reviews

1993

As I begin reading a story that I'm doing an LOC on I like to jot down notes of my first impression before I finish it. This helps me center my impression and thoughts before the plot is revealed. In"Blue Courage", the beginning was so breathtaking with the use of such powerful, immediate and dramatic beginning, that my first impression is my last.

I believe I have read not only the best Kay Wells story, but one of the best K/S stories. This one goes into my "best of best" list. Here's why: The story opens with a plunge into life and death for Kirk and Spock as they are lost and abandoned in a cave on a water-filled planet. The air and water are toxic and are gradually killing them. The drama of impending death is played out between them as they open up to each other.

So rarely have I come across a story involving only two characters that was so completely enthralling. With careful, precise dialogue the story evolves into a discussion of their lives and hopes as well as regrets. This leads Kirk to reveal that he would have liked to have tried being with a man sexually. It is a delightful moment when Kirk shares with Spock: "I'm sure it's safe to assume that you've never had an intimate relationship with a man,' the captain chuckled smugly. Spock regard him seriously. 'Then you would be incorrect in that assumption."

The situation precipitates some marvelous dialogue and Spock is wonderfully on target saying some perfect "Spockian" things and this description: "A connoisseur with a banquet of all his favorites laid out before him, the Vulcan bent to the enjoyable task of pleasing his friend." Spock takes control and makes slow, passionate love to Kirk.

There was a drawback to this imaginative scenario that actually was intentional, but caused me some difficulty. Kirk and Spock were not only facing death, but suffering horribly from the effects of the environment. This certainly took me out of the sensuality of the love- making and kept hurting the image of their enjoyment. Maybe, they as characters were able to forget it, but for me, as the reader, it was a constant distraction.

I understand that the characters were experiencing this dichotomy of pain and pleasure and in actuality, it was handled by the author in the best way possible under such circumstances.

This is a sexually adept Spock: my favorite kind! With absolutely one of the best Spock orgasm scenes to come (sorry!) along: "He tried to tell Kirk, tried to warn him, but his words were in Vulcan."

Truly tension filled and exciting as the dangers increased. Also it was so interesting how the focus condensed to just the two of them, with no distractions of starships or other characters. I actually got tears in my eyes as Kirk asks Spock: "Would you kiss me... goodbye?"

I don't usually get so caught up in "will they, won't they?" because Kirk and Spock never (hardly ever) die, but the tension was built so slowly, so purposely, that I was totally involved. I just cant reveal what happens because it wouldn't be fair to rob a future reader of this same experience, so I am posting an alert: Don't read any further if you don't want to know what happens!

Great bit: A doctor helping Kirk says, "Day after tomorrow, sometimes in the afternoon." And Kirk thinks that sounds strange because it's not technical ship's jargon. Little humorous "Spockian" touches like: Kirk and Spock have a chess game at 19:00. So "At precisely 18:59:30. Spock called for admittance."

One minor detail: When Spock plays chess with Kirk, the POV shifts to Spock's. It should have stayed with Kirk because now the thrust of the story is Kirk's confusion and wonder at what happened between them. As the reader, we wonder also, but by going into Spock's POV, it takes away that exploration. Only after we've seen what Kirk is thinking, can we go into Spock's thoughts and find out his perspective.

And only one other minor problem: the title. I feel titles are extremely important to each story. A good title strongly identifies the focus and helps to clarify a story. I have begun to realize how important titles really are and now I often keep referring back to a title as I read a story. But this one, "Blue Courage" didn't say anything to me. It seems to refer to the alcoholic beverage that McCoy offered to Kirk and it loosened him up enough to talk about Spock, but I don't know what it means in terms of the story. Funny, clever interaction between McCoy and Kirk as the doctor asks what's going on. I laughed out loud at: "The one between you and Spock," the doctor said, punctuating the last three words with a finger poked firmly into the broad chest with each one.

I can't remember reading a story where I actually questioned if they would finally admit their love to each other. Usually it's a foregone conclusion - here there's suspense. In addition,there are some wonderful touches such as the shuttle arriving at Vulcan at midnight, but ship's time is the afternoon. I loved the picture of Kirk walking alone at night to Sarek's house and the unexpected build-up of suspense as Kirk tries to find his love.

Without a doubt, a finely crafted, completely enthralling story that will stay with me for a long time.

This is a very well written story, but I think Spock isn't logical in this story. Kirk wants to learn something new about sex and Spock shows him, what any female can perform also. Why didn't he teach him the practices he talked about and which Kirk longed to experience before he died? Another thing: first Spock speaks like a teacher, then Kirk has to talk him into taking off his own clothes and to surrender to his ministrations.

I loved this story. I love the long, slow focus on what I like just about best in K/S, the initial feelings when Kirk and Spock are first coming together. All the "does he or doesn't he?" in their heads in this story created a wonderful tension.

However, what started out feeling very intense and powerful felt diffused by the end. I think there was too much time going by and, sometimes, details during that time that didn't really enhance the story.

Marooned in a shuttle crash on a young, mostly-water planet without means of communication, Kirk and Spock find refuge in a cave, but it's a very toxic environment. The very rich detail in this part did fit well with the pace of the story.

I know it is perfectly suitable to come into a story at a certain point and then explain how the characters got where they are; but here, the background of how they got stranded felt like kind of recitative narrative, even though it was all interesting (and I can't say how it could have been done better).

Also, it didn't seem likely they'd been there for 12 days already when we come in on them, and that only now these events are happening between them!

Kirk is convinced they will die. Very nice conversation, what they would have liked to have done in their lives but hadn't yet. Kirk says he would have liked a sexual relationship with a man; Spock reveals that he has had. I loved it when in the silence Kirk says, "What's it like?" This was a wonderful conversation! Difficult to talk about for both of them. Kirk is pressing for details, Spock speaking clinically ("...being sodomized is...pleasant'-what a guy, huh?).

Kirk's hesitation when Spock offered the experience to him made me laugh very warmly; he got so flustered. And I just died when Spock said "Come here." Really fine scene, an exquisitely slow awakening of desire, from simple holding to... And the outside world retreats...

Back on the ship, Spock feels Kirk only engaged in sex with him out of curiosity; Kirk feels Spock only did it to grant a final wish. Spock's going away and Kirk following to find him and not finding him because Spock had meanwhile gone back to the Enterprise; this is where in particular it felt the story got diffused and too much time passed.

Finally they both admit love... Ah... Beautiful.

1994

A very long, juicy, spicy story from a well established writer. Clean, tight, long and exciting. Everything I like in K/S. What a treat.

1998

God, what a ride! Abject misery of a physical nature. Kirk and Spock believably face the end...not in a sun-baked world surrounded by enemies they can fight, but on a miserable planet drenched by caustic rain that slowly deteriorates both flesh and spirit.

In desperation, unable to face the fact there is no escape, no hope, Kirk tries to distract himself by getting Spock to share secrets—and learns his friend has been intimate with a man. This is a path the Captain has never trod, so Spock agrees to grant him that experience.

Very convincingly, Spock takes the lead over an uncertain Captain and proceeds to love the human as he's never been loved before. A gritty, painful realism is maintained when the two accept without discussion that their physical condition will no longer allow them to engage in the act of touching. Kirk's arms have begun to blister and ooze, but it is the raw, bleeding hands of his lover that causes him the greatest pain. The end—rescue at the last moment— is predictable, but their physical hopelessness quickly turns to emotional despair (at least the reader's) as they desperately try to regain the equilibrium of their friendship.

Thought it was over, didn't you? No. Spock runs to Vulcan and disappears, leaving Kirk in a state of desperation that is gut-wrenching. The second half had me teetering on the edge of tears, while Kirk cried only on the inside.

If you haven't read it — read it. If it's been a while, I urge you to read it again, especially if you've temporarily forgotten what it's like to love someone to the depth of your soul.