As Others See Us (Star Trek: TOS story)
|Title:||As Others See Us|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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It was published in the print zine KaleidoScope #3.
"Kirk is substituted with an android created by a reclusive businessman who now plans on keeping him a prisoner and having the android commits “suicide” so no one will look for the real Kirk."
Reactions and Reviews
There's an evil crewmember afoot as Spock goes into pon farr and Kirk wants to "service" him. Then Kirk is in the shower and Spock comes in and Kirk's erection keeps "wilting". It wilted a whole bunch of times until finally Kirk drops his towel and Spock goes screaming out of the room.
The evil crewmember turns out to be a Klingon and he has a big fight with Kirk. Spock saves Kirk, but Spock keeps bolting every time Kirk tries to help htm. McCoy comes in and knows about Spock's pon farr and knows what Kirk has to do. It's all fine by McCoy and he says: "Get in there after that damn fool Vulcan. And the two of you...take care" Kirk gives him a big hug.
And this happens in the first twelve or so pages of the story. Boy, does this girl have lots of plot in her imagination. Which actually is one of her many writing strengths. But there were a number of problems along the way.
Could somebody please explain the name of the planet? What is "CBIooo"? How is it pronounced? What does it mean? I kept hearing "see-boo" when I read it What kind of name is that?
And how come McCoy didn't call first before he came over?
And take out all the "!" please! On one single page, I counted eight of them! But, wait! There's more! Calling the androids 'droids " drove me crazy!
I was also driven crazy by ever-changing point of-view. The POV changed almost every time any character spoke.
Also, I was constantly robbed of the thrill of discovery. Just one example is a scene where Kirk goes into Spock's cabin while Spock is in pon farr. Spock stands there all sexy and naked and scary. I think, oh boy. what's he going to do? How is Kirk going to deal with him?
Well, I didn't have long to wonder and I didn't have to figure it out for myself, either, because the author did it all for me and told me that absolutely nothing was going to go wrong because Spock would never, ever, under any circumstances, hurt Jim. Oh.
Then, after all this, after being told everything, instead of a good, satisfying sex scene, it's "cut-to-the-crashing-waves-on-the-rocks" with; "...surrendering to the long, passionate, heated night of the blood fever." It was lousy for me, was it good for you?
I don't think I once actually heard Kirk or Spock talking. It might have been the author, herself, but it certainly wasn't any Kirk or Spock I know. What Kirk do you know who would talk like this: "...and I repeat, stop all this nonsense now and return me to my first officer!" ?
What can you do with sentences like: "Beating the Vulcan, McCoy got in first." ?
The main overall problem is that the author gives the reader no chance to be excited, to feel suspense or to feel anything for the characters. She's too busy letting us know what they're really thinking and what's realty happening. And she has to tell us twenty times.
If you've read this LOC this far, you're not going to believe what I have to say now. This is actually an interesting story, a genuine thriller, clever plot, good supporting characters, suspense (sometimes), good development of the villain's psychology and an excellent ending. That, my dear K/Sers, is what makes this SO exasperating!It's so frustrating to read a story that holds your interest yet is written so roughly. I want to read more Alice Hooker stories. But I also don't want to tear my hair out, I am just a reader, not a teacher, but I think this author only needs to learn some writing basics. Then all the readers will be happy and I'll get to keep my hair.
Well structured and entertaining from a plot standpoint, this story has good underlying K/S, if somewhat underplayed. Just about to begin his life with Spock, Kirk is whisked away by a man who's been obsessed with him since his academy days.
Adding some spice is the idea that this megalomaniac has command of a number of realistic androids, one of which he sends back to the Enterprise with an unsuspecting away team. Knowing his ruse won't go undetected forever, he has preprogrammed the 'droid to "commit suicide", resulting in a chilling scene. Iwould like to have seen this enactment, as well as its ensuing repercussions examined a great deal more closely. To explore Spock's feelings at losing his soulmate literally on the doorstep of their lives together warranted more than a few paragraphs allotted to it. Guess I'm a sucker for anguish and don't like to see it glossed over when there is such compelling reason for it.At first I felt resolution was much too easily acquired, but a plot twist eliminated this as a sticking point. Mostly, as always when I enjoy the premise of a story, I wanted to see this one more rounded out, more detailed and sopping with sadness, guilt, sense of loss and betrayal. It's just that I'm addicted to high drama that didn't quite come through, and yet I class it as a good solid read.
This deserves mention because of its excellent plot, which is reminiscent of “The Price of the Phoenix”, and because of the added dimension of love between Kirk and Spock. The author shows us delightful moments between them as their love makes itself known in subtle ways. Lots of action is built into the story, beginning with an early attempt on Kirk’s life, which makes Spock abandon all doubts of his feelings for his Captain. Then Kirk comes face to face with the arch villain of the piece, one masterful, creepy, and decidedly insane man. A recluse of great wealth, Cyrus Garvin has fixated on the young cadet Kirk that he met and became obsessed with many years ago. That fixation now clearly threatens Kirk’s very existence at a time when he and Spock have the universe before them. There are many twists and turns to the plot, and perhaps sometimes more detail about Garvin and his life than I really felt I needed. However, it does help to weave the spell of evil obsession that is the heart of the story. Spock never loses sight of his goal to have Kirk back in his life where he rightfully belongs, but there are times the reader is almost convinced such a thing is not to be.