Apsides

Fanfiction
Title:	Apsides
Author(s):	Jack Hawksmoor
Date(s):	2009
Length:	11,820 words
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	Apsides on AO3 Apsides on the K/S Archive
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Apsides is a TOS Kirk/Spock story by Jack Hawksmoor.

It was published in the print zine T'hy'la #30.

Summary

"Badly injured during a mission gone wrong, Spock struggles for survival, unknowingly breaching a boundary he never thought to cross."

Reactions and Reviews

Oh, I enjoyed this. Enjoyed it enough to lose myself in the story when I was sitting behind a dealer‘s table at Shore Leave. I don‘t usually indulge this way, much preferring to chat with my friends since this is usually the only time during the year when we are together, but Kathy handed me the zine open to the first page of the story and away I went. It was difficult closing T‘hy‘la 30 and returning my brain to where I was.

And what could lure me so? The story starts with a hurt Spock scene that had me holding my breath with empathy. Now let me say here and now, that there was just the right mix of hurt to comfort in this story. (Recently I‘ve read some that were so violent, with such little comfort attached that they exceeded the level where I was comfortable. I think I‘m relieved about that.) One aspect of the story I really enjoyed was the way the story was shown, not told. It‘s filled with those little looks, those small gestures that are very evocative of the way Kirk and Spock communicate so well together: a nod, a hand on an arm to indicate thanks, a question in the captain‘s eyes that is answered without words, the way Spock knows how Jim Kirk will act in a given situation, even an illogical one. All of it brings images to our minds so we clearly see the scenes the author describes. I also enjoyed the characterization of the guys. Spock is vulnerable without being weak, and Kirk is just how I love to see him depicted—strong, protective of his people, especially Spock, and devoted to the highest beliefs. I did have a question or two, the main of which is why this primitive society is being contacted at all? If ever there was a case for the Prime Directive to be in play, this seems to be it. Also a Federation that would put its principles in jeopardy for mining rights hardly justifies the loyalty both Spock and Kirk feel for it. But those are just quibbles and didn‘t detract from my enjoyment of ―Apsides‖ at all. This was the first story I‘ve read by this author, and I‘m so glad she has decided to write for print zines. I‘ve since tracked down others on the net. They are worth searching for. Lovely crisp writing. Very clean, which always wins my praise. Not much of a love scene, but less can be more, and the whole story reverberates with the love the two men share.

You‘ll like this one. I‘ll definitely be looking for more from Jack.

Add another thing to the list of what I‘ve learned in K/S fandom – the existence of the word ―apsides‖, let alone the meaning!

This is a wonderful hurt/comfort story, with Spock in trouble after a mission gone seriously awry. Told from Spock‘s POV, it opens with Spock badly injured and held captive. The events that previously occurred during the mission slowly unfold as Spock is rescued by his Captain and hidden until the Enterprise can be summoned. I like how the story begins after everything has gone wrong. The story seems to be starting in the middle rather than the beginning. We really aren‘t sure what happened initially, and then as the story continues the details gradually emerge. I thought this was a very effective way to tell the story which kept me quickly reading, anxious to find out what happened and why.

The writing in this story is so good with carefully thought out characterizations of Kirk and Spock. The dialogue is just as I imagine Kirk and Spock would sound if they had to face the events in this story. It can be very hard to write Spock‘s POV well, but this writer succeeds admirably. The way Kirk is portrayed (his actions and his words) convey the essence of his character, both during the disastrous mission, and afterwards on the ship. Spock‘s appreciation of Kirk‘s ministrations to him and his slow realization of his feelings for Kirk is very deftly written. I loved how we get Kirk‘s POV briefly, when he tends to Spock, and Spock senses Kirk‘s thoughts. Spock realizes Kirk and he are linked somehow, and back on the ship there‘s a lovely scene where Kirk makes it clear he understands the nature of their connection as well. There are no sex scenes and only one chaste brief kiss in this story, but it has a wonderful intimacy as the story unfolds. Read it please, I can‘t possibly do it justice! And when you‘re done, this author has 5 stories on the K/S Archive, all well worth reading.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to be tied to a post, rain pounding down on you, beaten, tortured and alone? You’ll know after reading the opening paragraphs of this story. It’s Spock who is tied after (as the author says) a mission has gone very, very wrong. What tore at me was Spock watching as daylight faded, first taking from his vision the distant mountains, then the closer terrain, the village surrounding him and finally the firelight reflected in the mud at his feet. He strained at his tethers to see all of it because “Once darkness fell, he doubted he would ever again see such a thing.”

If you aren’t hooked at this sort of beginning, you soon will be, when Kirk enters the picture. Apsides overflows with those tender second-nature strokes so lovingly administered by Kirk to his suffering friend. It generously allows us to try and comprehend them from Spock’s point of view and to see how much pleasure and satisfaction each touch and smile brings him. There is a bit of a downside, Spock fears: a side-effect of those reassuring small caresses and of the number of times he has melded with Kirk in the line of duty. As the author so adeptly explains it, the walls between their minds are thinning. The amount of sensitivity written into nearly every scene and every aspect of this complex and growing relationship between Kirk and Spock was most pleasing – a huge “ahhhh” factor. It was reminiscent of some of the early K/S stories in which authors were more hesitant to provide graphic details, instead focusing on the tenderness and caring the two men display both onscreen and in our hearts. And, oh yes, there is also a plot – complete with a puzzling alien culture and some surprising allies.

At the end I felt nothing but warmth and satisfaction.