Zaphod Beeblebrox and Me

Filksong
Song Title:	Zaphod Beeblebrox and Me
Composer:	Gregory Baker?
Lyrics:	Gregory Baker
Melody:	original?
Date:
Subject:	Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Other:
External Links:	mp3
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Zaphod Beeblebrox and Me is a popular filk written by Gregory Baker; a version sung by Roberta Rogow was recorded and is available online at the Audiofic Archive.

Text

Zaphod Beeblebox and me zoom across the Galaxy

In a ship that's big and fast like the Titanic;

Half the Interstellar fuzz fire blaster bolts at us,

This is time to settle back, and please--don't panic.

Magratheia's just ahead, who cares if the planet's dead,

And our robots are a pair of mindless jerks?

Zaphod Beeblebrox should know how this blasted thing should go.

Are we read? Up the Vogons. Shoot the works.

Hello Arthur, hello Ford. Glad to see you're both aboard,

Though we really didn't want to see your faces.

Hope that you enjoy the trip. Zaphod here just stole the ship.

Please calm down; it's not that bad. And take your places.

If you'll please consult the Guide, you'll find odds are on our side.

It's impossible that we should blow this run.

Does that missile turn you pale? Then we'll change it to a whale.

Let's touch down. Avoid the whale meat. Have some fun.

Here's a question posed for you; what's the answer ("Forty-two")

Have to do with all the questions of our life?

For the mice would like to know. They're the ones that run this show,

And so Arthur, they're for giving you the knife.

Won't you let me please explan? They just want to take your brain.

It's a little thing I'm sure that you won't miss.

Oh dear me, here's the police. Won't they ever give us peace?

And they're blowing us all to eternal bliss.

I suppose that you want me to fill in the break.

Here I am, brains the size of a plent, and they want me to filk.

And my diodes hurt and I think that I'm rusting...

Here's a payment for our crime, we're all at the end of time,

And we're going to start another stealing spree.

Who says evil doesn't pay; Marvin, beam us all away!

Only foolish chaps like Beeblebrox and me.