Where I Belong

Fanfiction
Title:	Where I Belong
Author(s):	K.S. T'Lan
Date(s):	1981
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Where I Belong is a Kirk/Spock story by K.S. T'Lan.

It was published in the print zine Duet #3.

Summary

"Kirk is surprised when Spock enters into a 3-way with him in order to get information from a female agent posing as a prostitute, but is more surprised when Spock is unwilling to continue being his lover afterwards."

Reactions and Reviews

I have no idea how I missed the British series, Duet which ran to 21 volumes between 1980 and 1990. I loved K.S. T‘Lan‘s novelNor No Man Ever Loved and am a big fan of the series that began with Dealers of Kevas and Trillium (in T‘hy‘la 3) but I had no idea this author was so prolific. Then I picked up a stack of Duets in a used zine sale and found quite a number of her stories that I‘d never seen before...

I‘m also a fan of ménage a trois if they manage to keep both of the boyz "in character" as the incomparable In Triplicate (1994) does and lots of others don‘t. I also thought that the menage story was a development of the 90‘s when many of the TOS storylines had become cliché and people were looking for new "worlds to explore," as they say. Then in reading my treasure trove of new-to-me T‘Lan stories I came across Where I Belong which came out in Duet 3 in 1981. If anyone knows of a menage story earlier than that, please let me know! Where I Belong is set sometime in an indefinite time of the 5-year mission. Jim and Spock are close, but not THAT close. Then Kirk get a message from a covert opps agent named Mary Kinaster that she needs to make contact with someone from the Federation who has security level 10. Immediately! Kirk plans to go, but when he tells Spock of the mission Spock demands to go along. The scene where Kirk tries to explain to Spock why he really really doesn‘t want to go on the mission, because the rendezvous will take place in a brothel and for security‘s sake he may be forced ―make things look real‖ is delightful, though Spock doesn‘t share in Kirk‘s amusement. When Spock finally convinces Kirk that he knows what to expect and has a good idea of what may be required, the two beam down to the planet and make their way to Vina‘s Palace. They end up in bed with Mary and Spock uses the meld to receive the information she needs to convey. However along the way Kirk discovers just how much he desires Spock, and when an accidental meld forms between them, Kirk discovers that Spock very much desires him as well. Back on the ship, the mission successfully completed, Jim decides it is time for "a talk" with Spock. He basically "lures" Spock to his cabin with the promise of a chess game and then tries to "jump his bones." This section is the only one I thought a bit overblown. Kirk locks Spock in, and comes close to the rape of one very upset Vulcan, before he realizes that Spock is saying "No!" even though he clearly does desire Kirk in a sexual way. I just love this passage: ..."I‘m not a young woman dazzled by your 'charm' and your 'glamour' as a Starship Captain...I am not to be taken for your 'gratification', seduced into compliance and then...forgotten as you walk to your next 'conquest.' The Vulcan stopped, closing his mouth firmly over further speech. Shamed to his very soul, Kirk sat down on the bed beside his friend, wincing, 'Ouch Spock, that hurt.‘ 'I meant it to,‘ Spock whispered, getting to his feet.' Go Spock! So much for silent, ever forbearing, noble Spock!

On first reflection I had a sort of Mary Sue feeling about the woman they become involved with, but in the end the story far transcends that necessary set up and manages to create a relationship that is true to the characters we know and love. This one is worth tracking down.