What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor?

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Fanfiction
Title: What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor?
Author(s): Halrloprillalar and Laura Shapiro
Date(s): 1997
Length: 3823 words
Genre:
Fandom: Star Wars
External Links: online at Archive of Our Own

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What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor? is a 1997 Star Wars story by Halrloprillalar and Laura Shapiro.

The pairing is Hando (Han Solo and Lando Calrissian).

Comments in a 2018 Article

From Hando: A brief history of Star Wars fanfic and a universe’s beloved, queer ’ship.

Few of these stories exist for reading today, which might have assuaged Lucasfilm, if not for the dawning of another era: the internet. As Star Wars grew into the empire it is today, so did its online fandom. Forums sprung up, email lists circulated, FanFiction.net made its debut in 1998, and like that, Laura Shapiro and Hal’s “What Shall We Do With a Drunken Soldier?” became a pivotal, unauthorized Star Wars text on an ever-expanding digital safe space.

A friendship and fan fiction-writing partnership gave way to Shapiro and Hal writing “What Shall We Do With a Drunken Soldier?,” a 3,000-word fic that imagined Han Solo and Lando as partners, with a surprise cameo from Boba Fett. The story is exemplary fan fiction, based in just enough canonical reality that it’s easy to imagine where the characters are and what they’re doing while still adding the exact right amount of diversion to turn the characters’ situation into a fun, sexual affair. It’s hilarious and heartfelt, ridiculous and raunchy, wonderful and wonky.

Hal came up with “What Shall We Do With a Drunken Soldier?,” according to Shapiro, who admitted to not being as big of a Star Wars fan.

“I remember getting excited about Han/Lando because Lando is such a cipher of a character, giving us lots of room to play,” Shapiro said. “And it’s clear from the films that there is a rich, deep relationship backstory there. Plus, the inevitable attraction of playing with rogues. I was invested in their sexual relationship, but I never would have thought to bring in Boba Fett. That— and the humor offsetting the erotic tension—that’s all Hal.”

Though FanFiction.net was launched and growing, and Usenet, one of the internet’s original forums, was incredibly active, Hal and Shapiro collaborated on the story through more basic means: email, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) and in real life.

“We talked through the events in chat and took turns passing the draft back and forth in email,” Hal said. “But I do remember writing some of the later parts together in chat, after Han was already, um, high. AO3 [Archive of Our Own] didn’t exist at the time! Fanfiction.net was only a year old, I believe, and we didn’t put it up there either. We published the story on email lists, fandom archives and personal archives.”

“What Shall We Do With a Drunken Soldier?” spread through the pre-2000s internet avenues, becoming one the most prominent Han/Lando fan fiction stories on the internet (and the earliest that Archive of Our Own has on its site).

“I wrote quite a bit of Star Wars fic in that period, most of which was original trilogy,” Hal said. “Luke/Wedge was my main writing ’ship at that point and I still love them a lot. I don’t think I’m quite finished with them yet. I don’t remember exactly why Han/Lando came up; just chatting with Laura about Star Wars shipping generally, likely. Han and Lando have tons of chemistry, a hinted-at but unrevealed backstory, and they’re both incredibly charismatic. What’s not to slash?”

”What Shall We Do With a Drunken Soldier?” has existed on the internet in some form or another for more than 20 years, a fact that resonates with both Shapiro and Hal. Today, the two writers, and close friends, have slightly different takes on their Han/Lando fic (with a healthy side of Boba Fett) still being a touchstone.

“It’s lovely,” Shapiro told Polygon. “I am delighted by feedback, of course, but just knowing people are still reading these stories makes me happy. I love the idea that I’m continuing to give pleasure to this community that gave me so much.”

Hal, on the other hand, appreciates the continued love from the community, but admits it’s a little embarrassing to go back and read fan fiction from 20 years ago.

“It’s gratifying but also embarrassing for the really old stuff,” Hal said. “A lot of my fic isn’t up there yet and I keep putting off archiving it because of the difference in quality between then and now. 20 years’ practice makes a big difference.”

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