This Side of Purgatory

Fanfiction
Title:	This Side of Purgatory
Author(s):	Dina Collins
Date(s):	2006
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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This Side of Purgatory is a Kirk/Spock story by Dina Collins. It is also known as Purgatory of the Heart.

It was published in Beyond Dreams #9.

Summary

"During her stay on the Enterprise after leaving Omicron Ceti III, Leila Kalomi has time to reevaluate her life and her feelings for Spock."

Reactions and Reviews

A believable and nicely written portrait of Leila. This writer knows or vividly imagines what’s its like to be young and in “love” (or to be a kid with a crush!). Leila really does have it bad! It’s a nice touch that she always thinks of Spock as ‘Mr Spock’ unwilling to let go of the hierarchy that separates them. I can imagine the back story that she paints for them too, very believable. Leila comes to realise that Spock is in love with Kirk and she identifies with his (at this point) unrequited love. It’s a funny touch that Leila’s realisation could probably be taken from the experiences of most K/S fans when they first discovered K/S “I was stunned. Mr Spock was in love with Captain Kirk; Mr Spock loved Captain Kirk. In love. I couldn’t stop thinking those words. Mr Spock loved his Captain. My face and neck became scorching hot, and my heart pounded so hard that I pressed a hand to my chest” Anyone else find that familiar!? And I like the epilogue which shows that Leila grows up and moves on and that Spock gets his Kirk! Nice one Dina.

This was kind of an unexpected look at the K/S relationship. We’ve seen it often enough through the eyes of someone, usually female, who has her sights set on Kirk only to discover the truth. It’s different this time in that it is Leila Kalomi who begins to see the light during her brief cruise on the Enterprise after being rescued from Omicron Ceti III. The story is nicely written, with the lead character very weak at the beginning, which is the way I perceived her in the episode. I always like seeing the subtle interaction between Kirk and Spock from an observer’s perspective. Another difference here is that she actually witnesses very little, yet is sharp-eyed enough to recognize the signs of love. A short enjoyable read.

This is a unique view of Kirk and Spock’s relationship following events in This Side of Paradise told from Leila Kalomi’s point of view. As the Enterprise warps away from Omicrom Ceti 3, Leila is grieving for the loss of her short lived relationship with Spock who has once again reverted to his normal personality.

Her grief is very real and in spite of the circumstances, the author makes us feel sympathy for her, especially when she starts to notice the way in which Spock behaves around Captain Kirk – almost as if he were jealous of Kirk’s interactions with the various females he comes into contact with. When she finally realises that this is because Spock is in love with Kirk, she feels sorry for him because he is in exactly the same position she is - loving someone who does not reciprocate those feelings. She remembers his words to her after the spores released him, and now realises that the “purgatory” he referred to then is in fact his unrequited love for his commanding officer. This is a very interesting and unique view of Kirk and Spock and we are left wondering why, if Leila has spotted how Spock feels, why nobody else has done so, but then she is a more dedicated observer of the first officer than most people are.

The epilogue to the story, when Leila accidentally meets up with Spock again years later is a well written conclusion. Leila has now moved on and is happily married with a family of her own and is now able to view Spock in a more realistic light. When she notices his wedding ring, she is not jealous now, just pleased that he has finally found someone to share his life with as she has. Her final realisation at the end just who it is that Spock is now bonded to, is not really a surprise to us, although it is to her and we share her joy that Spock is now with the one person who can truly make him happy.

This is a first person account from Leila Kalomi.

Short, it takes place on the ship, after Leila and her colony members have transported aboard to be resettled. Her eyes are all for the Vulcan. His demeanor toward her is respectful, courteous. But she notices Spock's almost jealous actions towards Kirk, discerning in the process that he loves his Captain. Five years later Leila and Spock meet in a spaceport, talk, then she spies the plain gold band he wears. She puts two and two together: he's bonded and, as he leaves, she sees him walk over to Kirk, how intimate their actions are.

Leila is not vengeful and I liked that about this story. It's all so cute and moving. A nice entry in this satisfying zine. Don't miss it.