The Not-Quite Amateurs
| Zine | |
|---|---|
| Title: | The Not-Quite Amateurs |
| Publisher: | |
| Editor(s): | |
| Date(s): | 1991 |
| Series?: | |
| Medium: | |
| Size: | |
| Genre: | |
| Fandom: | Professionals |
| Language: | English |
| External Links: | |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
The Not-Quite Amateurs is a gen 72-page Professionals parody anthology, written and illustrated by Salome.
THE NOT-QUITE-AMATEURS are:
- Colonel Hudson Sheepley (George Cowley)
- Pay Toil (Ray Doyle)
- "his pal Buddy" (William Bodie)
Regarding Distribution
From the zine:
This zine is for photocopying exclusively. Under no circumstances or conditions is it for sale or even to be for sale or sold by anyone or anywhere. To obtain a copy, please photocopy the copy you are holding. If clearer copies are desired, please feel free to retype and redraw if you can.
The publishers and editors deny all involvement in this zine and will not furnish copies off any masters, which are non-existent anyway. This zine is in no way intended to infringe upon the holders of legal copyright. It is strictly for the sole purpose of enjoyment and amusement by The Professionals fans.
Dedicated -- with love and gratitude to Peanut
DH5 Brief
Organised as Dead Head 5, this organisation will use any means available and violent to investigate incidents and accidents involving fans, roadies and other persons involved with the American rock band the Grateful Dead, including but not limited to breach of peace, sell-out concerts, persons royal and/or famous attending said concerts, scalping and/or mismanagement of ticket sales, copyright infringement upon material of the Grateful Dead, bootlegging said music band's sheet music, persons dressing up like Jerry Garcia and/or not wearing appropriate bumper stickers upon motor vehicles at said concerts; and incidents and accidents involving, or said to involve, members of Anti-Deadhead musical bands, most notably, but not limited to, the Knack, the Archies, the New Monkees, Mini Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, Al Stewart, Frank Sinatra and Harry Connick Jr.
DH5 shall have authority over all other law enforcement agencies, promoters, publisher, unions, millionaire rock stars, radio stations, television networks, record labels, distributors, wholesalers, retailers, merchandisers, stadium and concert halls, scalpers and ticket agents, representatives and artists* agents, designers, artists, musicians, songwriters, composers, transportation equipment, personnel with or without unions, anyone involved in the music, video, television, radio, film or the whole bloody entertainment and entertainment reporting industries, especially those people who keep front row tickets for themselves, and everyone else on the planet. -- Colonel G. Sheepley (translated from the Scottish)
Contents
- DH5 Brief (1)
- The Knack ("they're baaaack!") (i)
- The Twepping of DH5 ("Barry Manilow and a surprise guest") (13)
- Rock Hunting ("someone thinks Toil is a rock star") (23)
- Dumb Reckoning ("Toil is mistaken for a rock star again") (34)
- It's Only a A Beautiful Bumper Sticker ("lengthy title says it all") (43)
- Back Talk ("more rock star confusion -- it's the hair") (53)
- Slash Fan ("Toil does more posing") (62)
