The Convention of 1960
| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | The Convention of 1960 |
| Author(s): | Milton A. Rothman |
| Date(s): | Written 1939; printed June 1941 |
| Length: | 10 pages |
| Genre: | Humor/RPF |
| Fandom: | Science Fiction |
| External Links: | Hosted online (pp. 1-10) by fanac.org |
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The Convention of 1960 was a humorous story by Milton A. Rothman. It was written sometime in 1939 and was supposed to be published before Chicon I. In June 1941, Rothman got tired of waiting on John V. Baltadonis and printed it himself in his zine Milty's Mag.
The story imagines a science fiction con in the year 1960, featuring a number of fans active when Rothman was writing.
Features
- Bob Tucker as the exhibit chairman, dressed as a djinn and vanishing periodically in puffs of smoke
- Jack Speer as a servile Comanche who argues over legal regulations and finally achieves his goal of years: his hometown Comanche, Ohio is chosen to host the next convention
- John V. Baltadonis dressed as Prester John
- Robert A. W. Lowndes dressed as a robot. After changing into a spacesuit and delivering a long, heartfelt monologue about his crash landing on earth, Lowndes disappears forever and the audience wonders how much of it was fiction
- The six Futurians barred from Worldcon 1939 are still in league (in actuality the group split apart over the years and one member, Cyril M. Kornbluth, passed away in 1953)
- Rothman himself as con chairman, in "the strangest costume of all", first vanishing into thin air and then shifting into a bright shape of light, tentacles, and a reptile. His costume is finally revealed to be Mandrake the Magician
- An ancient H.G. Wells as guest of honor, who speaks one sentence to wild applause: "Civilization is doomed!"
- Sam Moskowitz's infamous description of Worldcon 1939 as "unendurable pleasure, indefinitely prolonged" is quoted
- Donald A. Wollheim as villain, with some potshots at his leftist politics (Rothman voiced some leftist positions but disliked Wollheim personally)
- Robert A. W. Lowndes, who was known as Wollheim's fiercest defender in the letterzines but was on good terms with Rothman, has a more positive role
- The Wollheim-Sykora feud is still active (in actuality, William S. Sykora faded from prominence following Chicon I)
Excerpts
From the cast door stalked Wollheim, and from the west portal swaggered Sykora. Hands nervously reached for holsters and for sword handles. Jack Gillespie, garbed to represent Hawk Carso, stood there easily, blowing the bangs out of his eyes, slender hands twitching near the butts of his ray guns. The faint at heart retreated to the lee of the bar, below which they remained for the remainder of the evening, gaily quaffing the alien and exotic brews concocted for them by M. Pohl.Groups of costumed conventioneers shifted their positions to strategic points along the front, Ackerman, in Kimball-Kinnison grey, snicked the switch of his ray screen, and moved his De-Lameter to the front of his belt. Elmer Perdue, in shirt of obscure and shifting colors, with words of horrible portent engraved thereon, moved his mouth in strange incantations. Kornbluth sneered, and three of the opposition collapsed.
Then the tensity was broken by a cheery laugh that ended upon a sinister note. "Ah! Friend Sykora!" Wollheim strode forward and grasped the other's hand.
It wasn't till the next day that it was disclosed that Wollheim had been wearing invisible gloves strewn with ivy poison. Sykora was the first to find it out.
"We will now have discussion on the location of the next convention," the chairman said, following an old tradition, and immediately disappeared behind an impenetrable wall of force. The hall suddenly seemed to grow dark and cold. Someone in the audience rose. Could it be Wollheim? The shape was not clearly seen. A bolt of incandescence spurted with a roar, the standing figure shrieked, and darkness suddenly clamped down as Lowndes the switch of the neutralizer.Who was it that had risen? Was it really Wollheim? Was he safe, or had he been demolished by the bolt? Had Lowndes been in time? For the next episode of this thrilling drama be with us next .........
No, silly, this isn't a serial. Of course it was Wollheim, and of course Lowndes saved him.
"Curse Lowndes!" one of the audience -- it could have been almost anybody -- exclaimed.
"We have with us now an event which has been long awaited. The Futurian Motion Picture Company has, after great effort and expense, completed their first full-length movie. So raise the screen and lower the lights, and we will have 'Odd John,' starring Odd Johnny Michel, supported by Wollheim, Pohl, Kornbluth, Lowndes, and Gillespie, as the other odd homi superior."Little more can be said about the movie. The audience experienced unendurable pleasure, indefinitely prolonged. The casting superb, and the acting was perfect. In fact, it was difficult to distinguish between acting and real life in some cases....
The third act is a tremendous, inspiring spectacle. The hero, the parasite from the upper levels, has joined forces with the workers, and has rescued the girl from the evil clutches of the Mad Scientist. A mob of workers mob the evil robot, and it burns, screaming with joy. Now comes the revolution. The Masses gather from all sections of the underground city, and commence the long, slow climb upward, demolishing every resistance in their path. The Capitalists above try to foil them by letting open the water pipes, and flooding the upper levels, but the Hero and Heroine save the women and children, and the Workers take care of themselves, and everybody gets up to Safety (two counters past young ladies corsets). The Capitalists, seeing defeat, grovel in the dust and beg for mercy, but they arc all cut down, every one of them. Finally, with blood running in the streets like borsht, or did we say that already, the act closes triumphantly with everybody, including the audience, standing up, fists clenched above their heads, singing the Internationale in Esperanto.
*
Boy, did I fool you people. That wasn't really the last act. That was the way Wollheim dreamt it after falling asleep. What really happened was much different.