The Alien in My Heart
|Title:||The Alien in My Heart|
|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
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It was published in the print zine KaleidoScope #1.
"A/U: Ambassador Kirk helps Vulcan by agreeing to meet with a tribe of warriors in the desert who still live as in pre-reform times and falls in love with Spock, the son of the chief. "
Reactions and Reviews
Well thought out, interesting premise that Kirk is an ambassador to Vulcan and is assigned to go to the desert to seek out the nomadic warrior tribes still living there. Spock is the leader of one clan and Kirk comes to their camp.
Moretti is an excellent story-teller with a rather ingenuous way of writing. There are nicely believable and good basic characterizations. I would argue, however, that Kirk as an ambassador would use "gonna" and "wanna" in his talk. I would also question Spock using a little homily like "By the time I realize my backside is itching, he has scratched it for me."
It's a little disconcerting when the author begins some nice sexual tension, then dampens the mood considerably with first too much talk, then with discussions of the need to pee, and then sandy penises. Nevertheless, the author has a strong, simple style and good heroes.
While, for the most pan I enjoyed the family situations and Spock's two young boys, it became a bit too much along with some more sexual dampeners like Kirk talking about his mom baking cookies ("Ghod, how I loved 'em hot.") while in Spock's arms.
There were some nice attention to details such as "entry rocks were rattled at his tent flap."Overall, Gena Moretti is a consistently fine writer with lots of stories up her sleeve! I am always impressed with her exciting and different plots and her direct style. 
"The Alien in My Heart" by Gena Moretti was one of the best stories that I've read by her so far. Her dialogue seemed much improved, and as usual the ideas contained in the story were original and interesting. I really liked the addition of Spock's small sons to the story, and found myself looking for more mention of them. Having the toddler Sevenn tug on Kirk's pants leg during an embrace is very realistic!
Sarek's characterization was also a breath of fresh air. When I got to the line where he says to Spock that he notices "the slightest itch on your backside," I laughed, but later I thought that the words didn't quite fit in with the rest of the story. That's the sort of statement that defines a character, and it seemed to stand out, somewhat incongruously. I found myself thinking of that statement every time Sarek's name turned up, so in the end it was distracting and took me out of the flow of the story. Sometimes a really cute phrase or idea just isn't appropriate. The hardest thing in the world for a writer to do is to cut something good.
The major flaw of this story is in Kirk's eventual capitulation. What in the world is he going to do? All of the objections that he had that sent him back to civilization are still valid. He might not have been happy in the modern world, but I don't see him being happy back with the clan either. Compromise is definitely called for here, or the reality of an unhappy ending. The way he was forced into the mold just didn't work for me. The ending strengthened Spock's character at the expense of Kirk's. If an author has written her way into an unhappy or dissatisfying ending, then I'm all for taking the honest route out.
"Alien" reminded me of another alternate universe story written by the same author, "Captives," which appeared in Scattered Stars II. There's the same excellent depiction of a primitive society, and other refreshing original ideas. I'm not complaining about the similarities, because I like both stories. If an author discovers she's got a knack for a certain setting or in describing a character a certain way, seems to make sense to exploit it.Overall, a really refreshing story by a writer who has produced her best work. I liked it. 
- from Come Together #4
- from Come Together #3