The Terranova Situation
| Zine | |
|---|---|
| Title: | The Terranova Situation |
| Publisher: | Almost Foolproof Press, Ann Teitelbaum (editor) |
| Editor: | |
| Author(s): | Dar F |
| Cover Artist(s): | Maureen B. ("Mozart") |
| Illustrator(s): | |
| Date(s): | 1993-1998 |
| Series?: | yes |
| Medium: | print, fanzine |
| Size: | |
| Genre: | |
| Fandom: | Wiseguy |
| Language: | English |
| External Links: | WayBack Archive link for chapters 1-13 (vol 1-4) |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
The Terranova Situation is a sixteen-part slash Wiseguy story by Dar F.
It follows the lives of the characters after the third season.
Each volume picks up directly following the previous issue and is not intended to stand alone. One thing this means is that the pagination is continuous.
The pairing is Frank/Vinnie but it evolves into Frank/Vinnie/Roger.
The series received mixed reviews as it was being published - some fans loved it, others felt the series lacked characterization and contained too many logic and plot errors (see Reactions/Reviews down below).
The series ran for 16 issues between 1993 and 1998 with the last known issue leaving the story line unresolved. It is one example of a long-running continuing story in fandom. [2]
This series of zines has companion issues called "The Terranova Situation Companion" (sometimes referred to as "The Terranova Situation Concordance.") They were resource guides to the story.
From Media Monitor: "At last, a handy guide to this massive novel. Features comprehensive timelines, floor plans, character profiles, photos, TerrSit-inspired fiction, and more. Will include free future updates as the novel progresses."
Published with the Serial Numbers Filed Off
In late 1993, the editors published some of these stories with the serial numbers filed off and republished as original gay male erotica.
This was not popular with fans.
See All Your Dreams Fulfilled.
Publisher's Summary
Follow Vinnie and Frank as they struggle to rebuild their lives after the events depicted in the episode "Sanctuary". Joining them along the way are some your favorite Wiseguy characters (including Roger Lococco), plus many colorful original characters! At over 2,700 pages, The Terranova Situation has been "in progress" for over three years and is still going strong! Because of its length, The Terranova Situation is much more than just a Wiseguy "story": it is a whole universe devoted to exploring the lives of the people you come to know as intimately as your own family. Lighthearted, dramatic, suspenseful, sexy: The Terranova Situation will have you laughing, crying, on the edge of your seat, and swooning as you immerse yourself in the lives and loves of these intriguing characters. The Terranova Situation is an adult slash novel and contains graphic depictions of same sex relationships, starting with Vinnie/Frank and evolving into Vinnie/Frank/Roger by the end of Volume 2.
Issue 1
The Terranova Situation 1 was published in 1993 and contains 155 pages.
This first issue contained photos of the cast, a brief episode guide, a timeline for Vinnie, Frank and Roger's life and work in the OCB, biographical details of the characters covering everything from height/weight, chronic health conditions, type of watches they liked to wear, blood types and erect penis size (both length and girth). A map of locations used in the story was also provided (the layout of Frank and Vinnie's house along with Roger's Loft). Even the eye color of one of the characters was discussed because, as explained in the author's note, although the actor playing Frank had blue eyes, the writer always thought they really should be a "warm brown."
This level of attention to detail, coupled with its divergence from the show's narrative and physical canon, puzzled many readers and the zine was a popular discussion topic among slash parties. Another criticism leveled at the zine was that the story's narrative flow was broken by long passages describing the characters moving, step by step, through fairly mundane tasks, like cooking or shopping. The series invoked either a 'love it or hate it' response among fandom, with strong opinions to be found on either side.
Summary: "Picking up immediately after third season: Frank is hospitalized from a gunshot wound; Vinnie has a complete nervous breakdown; and Uncle Mike must help them both heal. And in the shadows, Roger keeps his hand in his friends' lives."
- I: Where Is The Healing You Promised Me?
- II: I Wonder Just Where I Belong
- III: Won't You Let Me Shelter You?
- IV: Livin' In The Real World
- V:I Wonder How We Can Survive This Romance
Issue 2
The Terranova Situation 2 was published in March 1993 and contains 119 pages.
Summary: "Vinnie is hospitalized after a suicide attempt; Frank has to juggle several personal crises; and, no longer willing to hide in the shadows, Roger moves to New York to be with them."
- VI: Just Believe In This Love
- VII: Waiting For Somebody Like You
- VIII: I Can't Remember If The Lies Were True
Issue 3
The Terranova Situation 3 was published in June 1993 and contains 207 pages.
Summary: "Vinnie has come to terms with his feelings for Sonny and is well on his way to recovery; Frank is relaxing and indulging himself in the love he has been craving so long; and Roger is finding that allowing himself to become softer does not mean he's becoming weaker. Meanwhile, the love between the three men is deepening."
- IX: So In Love With The Games That You Play
- X: Endless Summer Nights
- XI: One More Chance To Live My Life Again
Issue 4
The Terranova Situation 4 was published in August 1993 and contains 181 pages.
Summary: "After suffering at the hands of the OCB, Frank and Vinnie return home to find them-selves facing a more frightening opponent: one who may change their lives forever. And once again, Roger must try to patch up his friends' lives."
- XII: It's Just The Way It Goes
- XIII: The Road Gets Weary When You're All Alone
- XIV: Nothin' You Can Do About It
Issue 5
The Terranova Situation 5 was published in October 1993 and contains 140 pages.
Summary: "As Vinnie begins his emotional and physical healing, Frank finds that there has been another victim of their recent upheavals: his son, Drake. He realizes his son needs him now more than ever, and he reaches out to rebuild his relationship with the teenager. Meanwhile, Roger's influence keeps the others moving forward, but he finds himself struggling with new found emotions."
- XV: I've Gotten Beyond The Agony
- XVI: Fighting My Desire, Baby
- XVII: Will I Wake Up From This Nightmare?
Issue 6
The Terranova Situation 6 was published in December 1993 and contains 203 pages. Cover by Mozart.
Summary: "As Vinnie's life hangs in the balance, Roger reaches out to Frank in a way that forges the bonds of a lifetime. When Vinnie awakes, his improved mental state helps cement their relationship and lays the foundation for a "new" family. Roger is still plagued by conflicting emotions, and Frank must deal with Jenny, leading to a confrontation that has startling results."
- XVIII: Why Must A Generation?
- XIX: In A World That Doesn't See Us
Issue 7
The Terranova Situation 7was published in Jan 1994 and contains 115 pages.
Summary: "Family problems abound: Frank and Jenny have a showdown over Drake; Roger must make some important decisions about Travis; and Vinnie must reconsider his decision about fatherhood."
- XX: Old Wounds Die Hard (1037)
from issue #7, some fan casting
from issue #7
Issue 8
The Terrannova Situation 8 was published in April 1994 and contains 263 pages.
Summary: "Things are finally going smoothly for the guys...or are they? After Jenny agrees to let Drake live at the loft, she uncovers some incriminating evidence that leads to a confrontation between her and Frank that no one will soon forget. Vinnie is doing his best to support Frank, but his recurring nightmares are throwing him into a deepen-ing emotional turmoil. And Roger's luck has finally run out...."
- XXI: Love is All It Takes (1147)
- XXII: You Could Never Call It Bland (1219)
- XXIII: Some Things Are Not So Easy To Define (1305)
Issue 9
The Terranova Situation 9 was published in 1994 and contains 208 pages.
Summary: "While everyone is settling into their new life, Roger finds the pressures of his new family more than he can handle. But with the patience and understanding of those who love him, he slowly realizes that this is just what he's been searching for all of his life. At the same time, Dr. Bulatti uncovers the secret behind Vinnie's nightmares and fears his patient may be in danger of relapsing."
- XXIV: Cat and Mouse (1411)
- XXV: The Walls Are Tumbling Down (1513)
Issue 10
The Terranova Situation 10 was published in April 1995 and contains 183 pages.
Summary: "Vinnie fires Bulatti when he decides that therapy is just making him worse. Meanwhile, Frank and Roger's bond grows as they work to keep the family together while they help Vinnie recover."
From another ad: "Picks up exactly where Volume Nine left off. Frank and Roger are concerned when Vinnie comes out of his latest episode claiming he's no longer gay. After Vinnie fires Bulatti, convinced that therapy is making him worse, the family starts to feel the strain of caring for him. When Bulatti's colleague suggests a radically new treatment plan, they all must decide whether it will help Vinnie...or push him over the edge. Meanwhile, Frank and Roger's bond grows as they work to keep the family together while they help Vinnie recover."
Issue 11
The Terranova Situation 11 was published in April 1995 and contains 150 pages.
Summary: "Vinnie isn't the only one dealing with ghosts from his past: Jenny returns and wants to see Drake; Travis goes home to visit; Roger runs into an old buddy; and Frank gets a call about his father."
From an ad: "Picks up immediately after Vol 10. Vinnie isn't the only one dealing with ghosts from his past; Jenny returns and wants to see Drake; Travis goes home to visit his family. Roger meets up with an old buddy, & Frank gets a call about his father."
- XXVIII: Fathers and Sons (1807)
- XXIX: The Face Behind the Face (1877)
- XXX: You Were There All the Time (1947)
Issue 12
The Terranova Situation 12 was published in August 1995 and contains 184 pages. As of this issue, the author had now broken 1.25 million words.
From an ad: "The latest installment of this ongoing Wiseguy novel by [Darlene F]. The guys move into their new house expecting to find the stability they need, only to find it filled to the rafters with relatives. Vinnie returns to the hospital, but with Father Pat's help, finds the inner strength he needs to face his past."
Summary: "The family moves into their new house expecting to find the stability they need only to find it filled to the rafters with relatives. Vinnie goes back into the hospital and finally finds the inner strength he needs to face his terrible past."
Issue 13
The Terranova Situation 13 was published in January 1996 and contains 168 pages. Cover by Maureen B..
Summary: "Deciding he doesn't like sharing his life with all the others, Vinnie starts suppressing his "inners" so he can resume his "normal" life. However, the "inners" will not be ignored, which everyone finds out in a pulse-pounding confrontation with the Hopeless One."
Another summary: "While the rest of the family finally settles into a normal routine, Vinnie and Jae start their work with Vinnie's "kids". Deciding he doesn't like sharing his life with all the others, Vinnie starts suppressing his "inners" so he can resume his "normal" life. However, the "inners" will not be ignored, which everyone finds out in a pulse-pounding confrontation with the Hopeless One."
- XXXIII: Oh For a Moment of Forgetting (2141)
- XXXIV: No More Fairy Tales (2245)
Issue 14
The Terranova Situation 14 was published in May 1996 and contains 144 pages. Cover by Maureen B. (Mozart).
Summary: "After Frank, Roger and Vinnie help Tony and Robert deal with the kidnapping of their son, they find the unwanted publicity from the case has an adverse effect on their lives, leading to the three men going their separate ways."
- XXXV Just To Have This Day (2311)
- XXXVI: Come Out of the Dark (2402)
Issue 15
The Terranova Situation 15 was published in May 1997 and contains 121 pages. The cover, by Maureen B, was nominated for a STIFfie.
Summary: "The past week's events have taken a toll on Vinnie and the alters, and as if that wasn't bad enough, the CIA has renewed its interest in Roger, and a chance meeting with one of the local street hustlers lands Frank and Roger in serious trouble."
Summary: "In this latest installment of this massive on-going Wiseguy novel by [Dar F], we find that the past week's events have really taken a toll on Vinnie and the alters. And as if that wasn't enough, the CIA has renewed its interest in Roger, and a chance meeting with one of the local street hustlers lands Frank and Roger in serious trouble."
Issue 16
The Terranova Situation 16 was published in August 1998 and contains 186 pages. Cover by Maureen B..
Summary: "They say that things are always darkest before the dawn. If that's the case, the sun must be right over the horizon! Just when the family thinks Vinnie can't possibly get any worse, things happen to prove otherwise. Feeling helpless to treat his patient, Bulatti brings in a new therapist to work with Vinnie, a simple act which has amazing results. Could this be the miracle the family has been hoping for?"
- XXIX: Undo This Hurt
- XL: A Time For Miracles
The Terranova Concordance
The Terranova Concordance is a 12-page, digest-sized resource guide that contains "timelines, floor plans, character profiles, photos, TerrSit-inspired fiction, and more. Will include free future updates as the novel progresses."
There were at least three of these concordances.
These digest-sized concordances (with updates) appear to become the 100-page zine "Wiseguy Material." This appears to have been published in 1993 when the series was about 400 pages long.
- Episode Titles
- Character Profiles
- Vinnie's History
- Frank's History
- Roger's History
- House Layout
- Loft Layout
[Author's Note from "Wiseguy Material"]:When I watched Wiseguy when it was originally airing I just wasn't interested in another cop show about some macho guy infiltrating the mob. Ha! Whatta fool I was! My roommate. Ann, got into the fandom by reading a slash story in a multi-media zine. They she had a Wiseguy party at our house in mid-November 1992. I discreetly stayed away from the episode screenings until Evelyn coerced me into watching 'just this one.' Well, you're holding the result of my viewing that one episode (No One Gets Out of Here Alive) - the final episode of the Sonny Steelgrave arc). Needless to say. I was hopelessly and helplessly hooked forever! Dyed~in-the-wool Wiseguy fans were only too willing to loan me the rest of the episodes which I devoured like the starving fan that I was.
"The Terranova Situation" spawned from a short story I started writing to resolve fourth season (I couldn't stand the thought of Frank losing his sweet Vincenzo) My original story was an action/adventure entailing a valiant rescue, but the more I watched fourth season, the more I became convinced it was all a bad dream on Franks part. It was too far off from the preceding three seasons So, I picked the storyline up from where Frank got shot in "Sanctuary' and began exploring what happened to everyone after that. I was mildly surprised when the story reached 100 pages. I was very surprised when it hit 200. I was amazed when I passed 300. Now that I'm over 400 pages, with many more explore, I just decided to let the guys take me where they will. As it now stands, I don't see "The Terranova Situation" coming to a conclusion any time soon. It was Ann's idea to separate the story into volumes, to make it more manageable. However, each subsequent volume will immediately following its predecessor, and the page numbering will reflect this
Of course, "The Terranova Situation" is a slash story. Given the very nature of the show, how could any fiction not be slash"? The writers themselves threw in far too many homo-erotic lines for it to be accidental. I mean think about it. How many New York Italian men do you know who wouldn't punch out someone who asked him if the reason he wasn't married was because he liked boys'? And the love between the different characters was too obvious to ignore. Not to say men can't love each other without there being sex involved, but there were too many looks between Vinnie/Sonny, Vinnie/Roger and Frank/Vinnie for the relationships to be just platonic And because all of the characters are so incredibly sexy, there is a lot of eroticism (read sex) in 'The Terranova Situation." My philosophy is if you're gonna write a slash story, then let the characters have some fun!
Before you begin reading "The Terranova Situation," I'd like you to read over the character profiles and histories, so you can see how I envision the characters of Vinnie, Frank and Roger. I've spent deal of time watching all the episodes, to get a feel for the characters. As is the way with episodic TV there were some inconsistencies in continuity (although Wiseguy was usually very good about continuity) so I had to either manipulate facts that were given or make up things to complete the picture. And lest someone should find it necessary to correct me on one point in particular I now know that Jonathan Banks does indeed have blue eyes: however after watching umpteen hundreds of hours of Frank McPike, I always thought they were a beautiful, warm brown So, while the actor has blue eyes, my character has brown. Live with it. While I tried to be as accurate as possible with the histories, the character profiles are strictly for fun. (Yes, I really did include "erect penis size"!) As I said before, this is let you see Vinnie, Frank and Roger as I picture them.
Thank you for deciding "The Terranova Situation" was worth purchasing. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am enjoying writing it. Any comments, reactions, copious amounts of money, etc. will be greatly appreciated. (Although nasty comments may get you referred to Mel Profitt's Caribbean connections for an appropriate voodoo curse.)
Now I'll get the hell outta here so you can get on with the story!
cover of "Wiseguy Material"
from "Wiseguy Material"
from "Wiseguy Material"
from "Wiseguy Material"
from "Wiseguy Material"
Reactions and Reviews: The Concordance
The Terranova Situation Concordance (Which lists the page and date in the story line of every sexual act that Vinnie, Frank and Roger commit in the first 800 pages of TS...think about it.) [3]
Reactions and Reviews: Entire Fiction Series
1993
I find Terranova Situation interesting, and good one-handed reading, but I treat it like an a/u that just happens to be set in the same apparent universe as the actual show. The characters act and talk in ways that I can't see the aired characters doing (without brainwashing, AND drugs!) such as Frank being willing to be seen, in public, with a man wearing full leather slave attire (to say nothing of the hankies covering the scanties in the chaps...) But [D] does have a flare for both action and sex — it is definitely a page turner. [4]
Yes, I'm going to say it again: for all I lambast things like The Terranova Situation and Harlequin Airs, I'm still glad they're out there (and not in my closet. Ouch, ouch, stop slapping me across the wrist! I can't help being a bitch--I'm niceness impaired), even though I'll never touch either one with so much as a bargepole ever again. Listen, if I like watersports,
other people are entitled to be kinky enough to like a sweet, smiling, gently caring Roger LeCocko (and if you've read TS, you'll know why I've changed his spelling...). [5]
1994
The Glaswegian Pitbull Sinks Her Teeth In [the first six volumes].(The dictionary defines this as a breed of dog with wide-set forelegs and a short stiff coat. Does this ring any bells? Oh well, here's her scathing contribution for the issue.)
Ah, yes, the Terranova Situation, TS for short. Where should I begin?
Let's start with the acronym. TS, for Terranova Situation. Also for Total Shit, Terminally Stupid, Toweringly Silly, This Sucks, This Stinks, Too Simpering and Too Sick.
Now, let's move on to what this story claims to be. "An adult love story featuring Vinnie Terranova and Frank McPike, and Roger Lococco." Ah-ha, you say, it's Wiseguy! Well, actually, no, if s not. It's supposed to be Wiseguy, and it uses Wiseguy names, but any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. You don't believe me? How about Frank McPike's eyes being a different colour? Vincenzo Terranova suddenly developing auburn hair? No big deal, you say, thaf s purely cosmetic. All right, so let me see you imagine the equivalent without laughing hysterically: Avon the Redhead. Bodie the Blond. Get my point? Oh, and forget the adult part: that only refers to the readers, not the characters.
Of course, to help those people who are unfamiliar with Wiseguy, there are photos and lists of information at the beginning of Volume 1, including such fascinating and tremendously important details such as clothing size, preferred underwear, shoe size and their zodiac signs. To be fair though, we do all need to know erect penis size, don't we? That's 6 "longx5" around for Frank, 7x4.5 (mustn't forget that all important half-inch, must we? Every little helps.) and for Vinnie, a mere 10"x7". No, no, don't wince, it's all right.
Vinnie's the first man in history to consider penile reduction surgery. Amongst the helpful details are Our Heroes' sexual preference: Frank is bisexual aggressive, as is Roger. But to make it all feasible, so that the two tops have somewhere to stick it, Vinnie is gay passive. Now isn't that convenient?
But wait, all is not as it seems! Despite discovering his homosexuality as a result of being raped in prison (why, isn't that how all men realise the truth about their sexuality? And isn't rape just the best way to discover the joys of being gay passive?), Vinnie eventually becomes gay active! This is just fine with both Frank and Roger. In fact, it's so fine with Roger that despite several pages establishing that hell would freeze over before Roger Lococco would ever allow a man to top him, guess what happens when we turn the page? Why, that's right. Roger invites Vinnie to top him. Keeping in mind that Vinnie's erect penis size is a whopping 10x7, Roger manages to accomodate Vinnie without lubricant, dilation or discomfort. Sadly, I must report that a few pages later, having once found it so easy to allow Vinnie to bury himself in Roger's virgin ass, the second time they try it is a time of pain and discomfort. Funny how bums tighten up after they've had their horizons expanded.
So, you ask, if Vinnie discovered he was gay passive because he was raped in prison, how did Frank McPike find out the truth about himself. Well, having read the first six (yes, 1,036 pages just isn't enough to tell this scintillating and rivetting story) volumes, I have come to the conclusion that homosexuality is catching. Just look at the evidence. Vinnie goes into prison straight, he emerges gay. Frank is straight for the first 44 years of his life, he finds out Vinnie is gay, and whammo, Frank's a fairy. Drake, Frank's 14 year old son, discovers sex with a girl. But then he sees his dad with his gay roomies and voila, there's Drake having it off in the street with a teenaged male hustler. See? It's definitely contagious.
One of the high points of this remarkable tale is the way people react to rinding out about Our Heroes' lifestyle choice. There's Frank's 14 year old son catching his dad and Vinnie naked in bed having sex (Now, this is before Drake has caught the gay bug: he's still after girls at this point). Seeing his father having sex, this 14 year old reacts like everyone else: he tells his daddy dearest to go right ahead, he doesn't mind. But then, perhaps he's caught the blase bug from Vince's mother. This devoutly religious good Italian Catholic mother doesn't so much as bat an eyelash when she finds out her only surviving son (her elder son, the priest, was murdered) is not only gay, but living with not one, but two men. Well, why should she be taken aback or have the slightest moment of dismay when she has to combat the attitudes of her era and her religion? Donohue has told her they're just born that way, and who would dream of taking the Church's word over Donohue's? Or perhaps Drake was influenced by his very own daddy. Frank McPike, the guilt-meister, the lapsed Catholic who puts himself through purgatory every day just because he ate something high in cholesterol, good old Francis wastes a whole five minutes arguing with his "Voice" (which is presumably his conscience but may be the beginning of the insanity which is the only way he could end up behaving as he does) over whether or not he should have sex with his subordinate who is also a man. Hey, what's 44 years of strict heterosexual ity? What's a lifetime's 'morals'? What's doubt? What's guilt? Apparently alien to his sexuality, for five minutes after thinking about having gay sex for the first time in his life, Frank is right in there (literally!): "You want me to fuck you, Vince?" he asked matter of factly. '"Cause you know I'd sure like to ram it into ya." Well, what's a spot of sodomy between friends and colleagues?
[snipped]
As I said, this is a truly rivetting story. I'd like to give you an excerpt (reprinted without permission):
[snipped]
(Uncle Mike is over visiting and has brought his infant with him.. I didn't ask why: I was too busy wondering how a man with two prosthetic legs who requires two canes to walk managed to stroll in carrying a baby and pushing a stroller at the same time. Meanwhile, apparently unaware of Uncle Mike's prodigiuos accomplishment, Frank and Vinnie have opted to change the baby's soiled diaper)
[detailed quoted descriptions snipped]
I have one or two suggestions, and funnily enough, they all involve the rest of this story.
There is more, but I really don't have the necessary vidousness to repeat all the details of how Vinnie finally managed to dedpher the daunting complexities of the modern disposable diaper. You know the type: the ones that can only go on one way. Yes, thaf s right, the idiot proof ones. Tells us something about TS's version of good old Vi nee Terr a nova, formerly the OCB's star undercover agent. My, how are the mighty fallen.
Taking a leaf out of Vince and Frank and Drake and Roger's book, I must confess the truth. The above excerpt is only because I couldn't bring myself to search for any of the bits where Frank does the dishes or the laundry, or most thrilling of all, where he cleans the toilet. What every slash fan wants, right? Frank McPike swirling the toilet brush round the bowl.
But let's say that as a reader, you're simply not interested in domestic details. Well, that's all right, you can skip the part where Vinnie and Roger buy furniture, and the bit where Vinnie and Drake buy a television, a computer and a recliner chair (complete with lap rug in Frank's favourite colour, of course) and then put the new shower doors in.
Let us go, instead, to the relationship of Drake, Frank's 14 year old son. Now, having been around all these gay men, Drake naturally decides to have sex with a hustler in the street. Well, then he has to bring the hustler home, and then Frank and Roger have to warn off the Bad Guys threatening all the local hustlers (Vinnie can't help: it was more than twenty pages since last he'd been hurt, so he had to be damaged again so he could go back into the wheelchair/on crutches/on suidde watch/on mind-altering medication, whichever applies to the current minute-by-minute crisis. But don't worry, none of it ever stopped him having sex four times a day.). Of course, Roger Lococco, who is suddenly such a sweet, well-adjusted, nurturing, settling-down kind of guy, as opposed to the sociopathic cynic we all knew and loved before TS came into our lives, dear old Roger invited the hustler to stay.
Now, I have a couple of problems with all this. You see, the teen hustler is having sex with Drake in the living room, and apart from a few protests, Daddy McPike is coping with this. Okay, fine, Frank is completely out of character everywhere else, why worry about it here. But then we have the revolting details, a literally blow by blow account of these teenagers having sex, including such maturities as Daddy McPike giving them ice-cream for dessert before the grown-ups retire to one room for sex and the boys retire behind the screen to have sex. More evidence that this is mature sex, not something verging on child pornography: the teenaged hustler calls Drake "little boy."
Oh, yes, teenagers call each other that sort of thing all the time, especially when they're sucking each other off. But to be honest, that's not my main problem with little Drake having graphic, repeated sex. It's not even the abysmal dialogue (the "older boy" says: "Lordy, I could suck your sweet dick for the rest'a my days".). It's the 'older boy's' name. I'm a Blake 7 fan. You can just imagine my reaction to 'Travis"...
What else did I hate about this story, all six volumes of it, the seventh looming on the horizon like a monsoon of soppiness? How about the bad writing? Or plot holes big enough for an entire fleet of Mack trucks to drive through— sideways. Or characters being incredibly stupid. [snipped] Underage sex. Repetitive sex. Boring sex. Unbelievably dumb dialogue. Amazing coincidences. Deus ex machinations all over the place.
And, of course, the fact that hardly anyone ever just 'said' anything. I'm going to open up a random volume (as if any of them read as if any part of them were planned) at whichever page it falls open at, and just list all the verbs used instead of a simple 'said'. Right. Here we go-pointed out, demanded, recommended, ordered, whispered, mused, asked, pressed, explained, mentioned, SAID, asked, demanded, reported, challenged, explained, asked, whispered, assured, urged, stated, advised, mumbled, pressed, whispered, teased, soothed, choked out, stated, SAID, offered, countered, demanded, replied, promised, countered, assured, added, complimented, ordered, asked, chastised.
Hmm. Perhaps that was just a fluke, just good luck on our part. Let's try again-demanded, teased, groaned, repeated, SAID mumbled, muttered, called out, greated, explained, replied, replied, pressed, shot back, added, directed, responded, taunted, asked, countered, pressed, countered, explained, probed. replied, added, stated, confided, allowed, confessed, admitted, challenged, objected, stated, SAID, explained,.assured, hedged, added, sighed, replied, recalled, stated, pressed, replied, reminded, explained, asked, queried, encouraged, admitted, chastised, challenged, answered, admonished, responded, explained, stated, challenged, replied, pressed, confided, added, challenged tersely, implored, assured, stated, challenged, stated, confided, confessed, explained, shot back, countered, stated, proved, asmitted, confessed, added, admitted, challenged, decided, encouraged, added, and finally, SAID—twice in a row!
And it wouldn't be half as bad if the above verbs were actually used in the right way... Believe it or not, all of this merely skims the surface of the horror that is Terranova Situation. I haven't begun to deal with the job-related part, nor the pages upon pages upon pages upon pages of verbatim therapy sessions. I haven't even begun to discuss the mere concept of Roger Lococco joining in on this 'couple's counselling'. That's rather like Avon going into joint therapy with Blake and Tarrant. Yes, I laughed a lot too. We haven't explored the depiction of Jenny, women in general (madonnas or whores, the lot of them), nor the paucity of descriptive phrases (in the first five volumes, there is only one peripheral female character who is not described as a 'pretty brunette'), nor even the complete lack of coherency. Nor have I touched on the cheap tricks that abound. Oh, no—a positive HIV test! Not to worry, it was a lab mistake. Oh, no— Vinnie's in a coma! Not to worry, his Mama brings him round by offering him dinner. Oh, no—Vinnie's being hunted by armed, ready-to-kill OCB men! Not to worry, Roger gets there in time. Oh, no, Vinnie's taken an overdose! Not to worry, Uncle Mike takes a sudden, inexplicable notion to visit him. And so on, and so on, and so on. What fun. What joy. What tripe.
But we can't leave TS without contemplating what I had once considered to be impossible, but TS has managed even this appalling nadir, there's too much sex. Yes, it's true, there is slash out there that has too much sex even for me. It's a terrible thing to read a slash story and be bored to tears with the endless, interminable and anatomically impossible sex scenes. It's even more annoying to read a slash story only to find that the sex scenes break what little cohesiveness the story has, the sex scenes throwing the story for a loop. The story line tosses off some notion—and along comes the sex scene to disprove it. An emotional plight is delineated, ad bloody nauseum, in one of the many therapy sessions. Very next page, there it is—sex that would have been traumatic at best and most likely impossible.
I could, like TS itself, go on. But unlike TS, I know when to call a halt. Pity that calling a halt isn't as contagious as homosexuality seems to be.
But now we leave TS behind. We say goodbye to Frank, Vinnie, Roger, Drake, Travis, Dr. Bulatti the psychiatrist and his boyfriend and son, we leave all the others, the nasty, vicious heterosexual men and the sweet, caring, tolerant and loving gay men. We leave Vinnie to his mission to help the teenaged male hustlers, we leave Our Heroes to confess, confide and assure their love for each other (but only every third page, of course—we wouldn't want to overdo it.). Without us peering over their shoulders, they can get on with the important business of having sex at least twice daily, thus freeing us from the necessity of actually reading more than two and a half pages without more meaningless sex. We can leave them to further explore sadomasochism, domination and submission, and who knows? Perhaps one day they might actually understand what the hell those things are about and dump the emotional, physical and sexual abuse in favour of good, old-fashioned healthy s&m. Let's think of them fondly, as the 14 year old encourages his father to fool around in the shower with his two male lovers, as they make jokes about "gurkins", as Vince's doting parents move back into the area. We'll sweetly imagine these East Coast Americans talking about shagging each other in those few moments when they aren't involved in the actual bonking. We'll bate our breath wondering what's going to happen to the evil straight man, and ponder why it is that every single gay man wants to have a baby. We'll furrow our brows as we contemplate how brilliant these men are, that they should know so much more about the transmission of HIV than all the doctors, clinicians and gay men's health associations—and thank God that slash fans are too intelligent to believe this dangerous misinformation about HIV.
So, at last, our bodies wearied by heaving around the huge mound of zines, our minds numbed by the deadening effects of over a thousand pages of unremitting crap, we abandon The Happy Families to their fate: contemplating becoming parents, perhaps getting another dog, possibly even considering redecorating.
How can we possibly bear to leave such convincing, intriguing, compulsively exciting characters?
It's easily enough done. Although the Frank McPike of this unfortunately ongoing story has no knowledge of anything let alone the law, we know that this story falls into a category prohibited by the Government: the Terranova Situation is cruel and unusual punishment.
(I've never known anyone who could write so much about nothing...except for the writers of TS. -- M. Fae Glasgow's comments from Strange Bedfellows APA #4
- I must respond to M. Flay's review of Terranova Situation. It was beautiful...! Honey, would you be willing to do a Siskel and Ebert at Virgule? I can't imagine anything more fun. The only trouble would be finding someone else as — but differently — opinionated as you for you to play with. - comments from Strange Bedfellows APA #5
- Dear, you have more chutzpa than I do, and in spirit I agreed with your flame of Terranova Situation. I wanted very, very much to like the epic, but it kept getting farther and farther from anything that resembled the Wiseguy characters I knew. It made these strong, tough and terribly complex characters seem like cardboard cutouts, washed-out comic-book versions of the real, cool guys. I was incredibly frustrated with it, as you know. - comments from Strange Bedfellows APA #5
- I laughed myself sick over your review of the Terranova Situation. I have not been privileged to read this epic, and it is just as well since I am a Reader of Very Little Patience. And yes, this sort of thing (by that I include my laughing at it, as well as your writing it) is cruel in one way, as I know someone has put their heart into the story, but I really feel that if one sends something out for public consumption, one has to accept whatever reaction one gets, even if it is "cruel." I only tend to make fun of people I know very well or not at al. On the other hand, based on the quoted material, well, it does speak for itself, doesn't it? Or was that a strangled scream? - comments from Strange Bedfellows APA #5
- I love "Terranova Situation" - I enjoy the soap-opera-saga feel to it; the details of daily life add to the feeling of really living with these three men. Re Carlotta accepting the situation, she sure showed on the series how flexible she could be. As for the women not being well developed, Max is a terrific character and, as the story develops, is becoming as "real" to me as the rest of them. My favorite storyline so far has been where the FBI kicked Frank out for being gay, and his dealing with this. I'm amazed you've read so much of it, actually; my boredom threshold for novels is usually around 50 pages - if it hasn't grabbed me by then I assume it never will, maybe skip ahead in the book to see if things improve, and if they don't move on to the next one. - comments from Strange Bedfellows APA #5
1995
I love The Terranova Situation so much. There's a constant evolution going on there. [6]
1996
Ladies:
I've been totally immersed in reading "The Terranova Situation" and if any of you haven't read it, I highly recommend it.
I love long, involved stories with the same characters. And this is one of those. The story is powerful and well presented. The author's grasp of the material is impressive. If you're looking for good slash fiction, this is it.
I also recommend a large supply of chocolate and a box of tissues as you read. [7]
In the spirit of sharing opinions, I just wanted to politely comment that I disagree, at least regarding the first three or so volumes which, being a hungry WG fan, I read. I thought the characterization was poor ([Dar] was very openly, and appreciatedly, forthright about the fact that this is its own universe and (I think) an AU), and I never really found a plot. There were inconsistencies that I just couldn't relate to; characters' physical features changed, grammatical and structural errors (I'm a bit hung up on things like that), and scenes where I found myself saying "But this person would *NEVER* do that."
And that's my opinion, of course.
On the other hand, people I've spoken with who have enjoyed it have cited its close following of the characters' day-to-day lives (picking out furniture, housekeeping, cooking meals, therapy sessions, etc.), and added details like the floorplans to the family homes and the like, as things they very much enjoyed, so if you like stories like that then yes, it might be a good read for you. [8]
References
- ^ A fan in 1993 created a helpful visual.
- ^ In July 1995 on Virgule-L, , one of the authors noted that over the past 2 years 5 months, [Dar F] had written 1,956 pages, which was a word count of 1,152,300.
- ^ May 31, 1994, Sandy Hereld, Virgule-L, quoted with permission
- ^ from Sandy Herrold in Strange Bedfellows #3 (November 1993)
- ^ comment on Virgule-L, quoted anonymously with permission (November 19, 1993)
- ^ quoted anonymously from Virgule-L (July 27, 1995)
- ^ comment on Virgule-L, quoted anonymously (October 8, 1996)
- ^ comment on Virgule-L by Michelle Christian, quoted with permission (October 8, 1996)
