Smartania

Website
Name:	Smartania
Owner/Maintainer:	EPK or PKwench
Dates:	1999 - 2010
Type:
Fandom:	multi
URL:	2007 - 2008 2002 - 2005 2002 - 2005 alt
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Smartania was a badfic mocking community.

"Battling Against Crap Since 99."

A LiveJournal community smartanian-com was active from 2008 to 2010 after the website went down.

"Content is written by EPK or PKwench unless otherwise noted. Yagi-Kun, our chibi Goat-boy mascot, was created and drawn by Shiranami AKA Sushai AKA Jen."

All original fanfics violated by the members of Smartania are 100% real in their crappiness. None have been fabricated. All of said fics have been blatantly used without any sort of permission whatsoever. We figure fanfic writers will understand this.

Smartania does not archive unsolicited fanfic hacks. if you've hacked a suckfic and wish to share it with the rest of the world, you may post it in the Mystery Suckfic Theatre 3000 section of the Smartania Message Boards. Spread the joy of mocking bad fanfic!

The smartania.com website no longer exists, as the admins decided that it wasn't worth paying for hosting costs.

Much of the mocking (and cruelty) was focused on a single X-Files author.

From the FAQ

2. I made this wallpaper/review/fanfic hack/photo of myself masturbating. Will you guys post it? Can I write for your site?

No. Smartania is not a public archive. Anything you see on the site by people other than EPK and Pkwench has been hand picked by the two of us. If we want your shit, we will ask you. Otherwise, we love you and all (well, no we don't), but please don't bombard us with it. If you simply must share with the world, go to the the Bonsai Kittens section of the Smartania message boards, or to the Mystery Suckfic Theatre 3000 Forums.

[...]

4. Are you guys really chicks?

PKWench and EPK, the creators and webmasters of Smartania, are indeed of the female variety. Despite popular opinion, we are neither fat, nor constantly PMSing, nor bull-dykes, nor living in the basements of our mothers. Contributors to Smartania may or may not be male, female, transsexual or goat.

5. What does "Smartania" mean?

Popular opinion on this subject include the following:

"SMARTANIA? Smart my foot lah them!"

"Haha, they so smart! I bet thats why they call themselves Smartania, cuz they think they so smart!"

Contrary to popular opinion, we didn't call our site Smartania becuz we think we so smart. The word comes from a long-ago conversation between EPK and Snark, one of the former co-webmasters of the site (back when there were three of us). The conversation went that there were just too many stupid and ignorant people in the world, and that those of us who couldn't stand them should get rid of them and create our own country, called SMARTANIA. We bought the domain name on a whim, but it took almost a year to actually make the site. So yes, Smartania is our home away from all the morons of the internet, and our place in which we gather together to mock them. So yeah, I guess that while we don't think we're smarter than everyone else, we certainly find ourselves less annoying.

6. I love your site! Can I make one just like it?

We're sure it would better for all involved if you try to be original and come up with your own ideas, but if you feel perfectly justified in copying someone else's good idea, there's not much we can do to stop you. (Like how I worked that guilt in there? Huh? Huh?). Just be aware that while inspiring people to do good things pleases us, being blatantly copied just pisses us off.

7. I think my site would go good with Smartania! Can we be sister sites?

Fuck no. No and no. We don't "do" the "our sites are all kewl and affilliated" thing and we never will. If you want to link to us or join our fan listing, go ahead. Other than that, the name Smartania is ours under that grand law known as copyright, and you may not use it in affiliation with your site unless you ask us first. And we're not going to be your sister site, so don't ask.

Mission Statement and Answered Questions

2. Why are you guys so mean? You have no right to say the things you do about people's fanfic!

It's remarkable to us that this comes up time and time again, and that people are so blatantly fucking ignorant about this sort of thing. What happens when a movie or a book or a TV show is introduced into the public view? People form opinions of it. They are then, unless they live under a ruthless dictator, allowed to voice those opinions. That's what those often scathing reviews you read in the newspapers (and in magazines or online) are, and many of them can be nearly as ruthless (if not less laden with foul language) as our fanfic hacks.

Fanfic writers do essentially the same thing. They produce a work, and they foist it upon the public. The public is then free to form whatever opinion they like of it. Yes, children, it's true! We can say whatever we want about your craptacular stories! It may not be particularly nice of us, but we don't care about that. And yes, that means you can say whatever you want about Smartania in return. (The concept of this, unfortunately, is apparently too large for your average 13-year-old, lust-driven fanfic writer. All that matters is that we're not nice!! )

Those not blinded by their own suckitude will notice that we don't hack stories that are good. If your story has been hacked by us, it SUCKS, and has been backed because it is so terrible as to be ripe for parody. If you can't understand that, then you seriously should think twice before you let your stuff out into the public view. If you care about writing well, then take the steps you need to improve. If you're too lazy to care, then you are more fodder for mockery.

3. What you guys are doing is illegal/copyright infringement/libelous/defamatory and I'm going to report you!!!!!!

Yes, please threaten us with legal action. Sometimes life is busy and stressful, and we need a good chuckle. But before you do, consider a few things.

[much snipped about copyright, parody, fair use]

4. I'll bet you guys are just jealous! You probably can't write at all!

This one is baffling, and yet so frequent I no longer need to question that 99% of the world is stupid.

First, for the purpose of argument, our ability to write has nothing WHAT-SO-EVER to do with our ability to tell whether or not a fanfic sucks. It should be fairly obvious to anyone with a brain that the stories we've chosen to hack are gut-wrenchingly awful by any standards, and one does not need to be skilled at writing to determine this (TRUST US, we're not jealous). This is often said to movie critics as well. "I bet you couldn't make a better movie!!1". Well, perhaps not, but one can still tell if a movie sucks.

Second, anyone with half a brain should be able to tell, just from reading this site, that the two of us are reasonably skilled writers with a better than average grasp of grammar (though not perfect, we like to think we are). The fact that those who complain can't see this shows clearly that they are retarded.

Third, (and I hate falling back on the old schoolyard "I CAN SO!!!!!" argument, for it is lame, but you tards have forced me), we can write. Yes, we can write a better fanfic than the ones we hack. Yes, each of us could do so in about ten minutes, blindfolded. In fact, most people with a reasonable grasp of the English language could.

So, fuck you.

5. Why do you do this then?

Because it's funny.

[...]

10. Are you guys on a crusade to make fanfic better and exterminate all bad fanfiction?

We RUN A COMEDY WEBSITE. If all bad fanfiction were to disappear or becme great, we would have nothing to make fun of. So in short, keep churning out the suckfic!

Acafan Attention

The community was the subject of a 2004 academic paper, "Fanfic is Good for Two Things - Greasing Engines and Killing Brain Cells".

The site owners found this flattering and "moronic."

Some Links

• Sites That Shouldn't Exist - FanFic. Pain.
• Sites That Shouldn't Exist - Evil Fan Sites