Silver (Star Trek: TOS story)

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Silver
Author(s):	Ray Newton
Date(s):	1981
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Silver is a Kirk/Spock story by Ray Newton.

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It was published in the print zine Nocturne where it had art by Maria Johnson.

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Reactions and Reviews

1981

SILVER by Ray Newton has Spock as its central character. A deserter, criminal and drug taker, Spock wanders the galaxy having convinced himself that Kirk is dead. The facade of Vulcan civilisation is torn away as Spock tries to lose himself in the vastness of space, living only on his memories of Kirk and their love for each other. 'Silver' is an unusual story with an intriguing plot. The characterisation of Kirk, as he searches for his lover, is straightforward but the characterisation of Spock is different from any other story of Spock I have ever read. This Spock had lost all self-confidence and self-assurance because of an unconsummated pon farr owing to Kirk's disappearance. Despite the strong storyline, I found the character of Spock difficult to accept.

2007

Although I normally tend to review whole zines, this particular story from the zine Nocturne has always stuck in my mind, Although it takes place at least partly on the Enterprise, I consider it a/u since it does not really follow canon although it could have taken place during the original mission timeline.

This is an extremely well written established relationship story with good characterisation and more than its fair share of emotional intensity along the way. The situation at the beginning is a more than a little alarming, as Kirk has vanished (apparently drowned while swimming alone on shore leave) and in spite of an extensive search, has been declared dead by Starfleet who have ordered the Enterprise back to the nearest starbase to pick up their new captain.

Spock’s terrible grief during this time is well described, as is his guilt that he left Kirk alone to go for a final swim on the planet they were visiting (even though Kirk asked him to do this). This is then superseded by another even more serious problem – the Vulcan is about to go into pon farr and, since he already has a partial bonding with Kirk, will not be able to accept anyone else during the mating period. This sets up a very tense situation as McCoy struggles in sickbay to keep Spock alive and away from the new captain who, according to the grapevine, appears to have a very strong disliking for same sex relationships.

Captain Durrell is utterly unlike Kirk and not at all popular on the ship following Kirk’s warm and easy style of leadership which is greatly missed by everyone and the author does a very good job of making us dislike this very unpleasant character. His insistence on seeing Spock’s medical records in spite of McCoy’s reservations does not improve matters either and leads to a very tense confrontation with the doctor, who tries very hard to maintain Spock’s privacy. This particular author’s portrayal of McCoy is also very good, in some stories he seems to be a bit surplus, but here he has an important role to play, and his calm supportive manner does go some way to helping Spock cope with what has happened.

The author creates a terrific sense of tension as the story progresses and the clash between Spock and Durrell becomes increasingly inevitable. One of the things I liked most about this story was the unfailing loyalty and support the rest of crew offer to Spock in the face of Durrell’s unreasonable prejudice against him. Both McCoy and Scott are very well drawn and act just as I would expect them to. When Durrell finds out Kirk and Spock were lovers he reacts very badly and orders Spock to stay in his quarters unless he is on duty in case he “contaminates” anyone else! – just one example of his unreasonable attitude towards the First Officer. The author does a very good job of making us hate the new Captain, he is a rigid and unyielding character, determined to do things his own way no matter who suffers in the process. His unreasonable dislike of Spock and stern disciplinarian attitude towards the whole crew is also realistic and well portrayed as is the concern of the bridge crew as they try to protect Spock from this unpleasant character and at the same time, try to offer him what support they can in recovering from such a devastating loss just before he was due to have bonded with Kirk, something which the crew did not seem to disapprove of – unlike the Enterprise’s new commanding officer!

Not content with making unpleasant remarks about Spock, Durrell makes his life very difficult (as if things weren’t bad enough already) and goes too far when he admits he has been looking at the records of the Enterprise’s recent communications, including Kirk and Spock’s private communications with Vulcan concerning their forthcoming bonding ceremony. His outrage when the true nature of their relationship is revealed is well written and we share the rest of the officers’ sympathy with Spock and their desire to make things easier for him is well written, as is the ultimate confrontation between them.

Feeling that he has nothing left, Spock deserts the ship, rather than face charges for attacking Durrell. His feelings of despair and despondency are very realistic as are the attempts of the crew to shield him as much as possible. His state of mind is well depicted, as is a chance encounter with a figure from the past on a remote planet where he is given a chance to escape to a new life. His downward spiral continues as he becomes addicted to Sabir - a drug which enables him to relive his past memories of happier times with Kirk. Although it is not easy to read about Spock succumbing to such a desperate situation, it does serve to emphasise just how affected he is by Kirk’s apparent death. Of course, normally in a crisis when Kirk is either dead or missing Spock manages to fall back on attending to duty as a crutch to help him cope, trying to take Kirk’s place on the ship and devoting himself to discovering what happened and/or rescuing Kirk, but in this case, deprived of the necessity of taking command of the ship in Kirk’s absence, its not surprising that the Vulcan falls apart as he has lost everything, not just Kirk, but also his career and the place he regards as home as well, the only thing which keeps him going is the conviction that Kirk may not be dead after all and he is reluctant to allow himself to actually die until he does actually know the truth.

Desperate to obtain a supply of the drug when his money runs out he turns to crime, but of course, he ends up getting caught and is sold as a slave to Dagon an Orion who is the first officer of a passenger ship when he is required to work as a steward. This part of the story was actually quite hard to read, as Spock’s downward slide continues, his utter despair and wish to end his life are very realistically portrayed as is his indecision because he is not totally sure Kirk is really dead since no body was found.

Spock’s first glimpse from the back of someone who he thinks looks like Kirk on the ship is well described and carefully sets up the events that follows. Especially moving is the scene where Spock has found his way to Kirk’s cabin and stands looking down at his lover who is lying on the bed asleep. Overcome with the conviction that he is no longer a fit person to be Kirk’s lover anymore, Spock creeps quietly away only to be drawn back again later. Kirk’s joy at their final reunion is tempered by the knowledge of what Spock has had to go through before they finally found him. The Vulcan’s reactions when he first realises Jim really is alive are heart rending to say the least as he reveals his shame and guilt over what has taken place since he left the ship. Kirk’s kindness and assertion that he doesn’t care about anything else now he has finally found Spock again is very well portrayed as is the characterisation of McCoy, who, of course, took leave himself to accompany Kirk on his search for Spock and whose kindness and concern are exactly what I would have expected. I also liked the fact that Kirk wanted Spock to be informed he was still alive but the fact that some “play it by the book” bureaucrat decided otherwise was a nice touch.

However, their problems are not yet over, as Spock must still face a disciplinary hearing on the charges Durrell has proffered against him on his return to the Federation, but Kirk’s decision to defend Spock himself is right on the button. I must admit that the actual hearing was not what I was expecting at all. This particular author’s depiction of Starfleet brass is rather different to what I was expecting. My only minor quibble is that it would have been nice to have seen the reactions of the rest of the bridge crew to the events during and after the hearing. The actual outcome was rather surprising and is a rewarding end to a wonderful, although more than a little painful story, of the true price which sometimes has to be paid for falling in love and the ultimate rewards which it offers.

2010

I assume we all know how talented and well Ray Newton writes – and for those who don‘t: Go read her stories, you won‘t regret it. Some can be found at the K/S archive.

Silver however is not uploaded there and gee, this story alone is worth searching for the zine or ordering it from the library.

I don‘t even know if I can find the right words to describe the world she created here as this narrative too floated through me, took over my whole being and settled down in my heart, rather persistently I must say.

Kirk goes missing and is announced dead and Spock can‘t believe he died. They had been together and shared a link, planned to get bonded within a couple of weeks.

When Spock‘s pon farr arrives he suffers tremendously, both in mind and body, and only due to the help of McCoy does he survive. But already right afterwards he‘s a different person and the ache he feels, the loss that rips him apart and the loneliness is described marvellously and so, so touching.

He is denied looking for Kirk and when a new captain arrives he suffers even more – the new guy might be competent but he‘s an asshole (excuse my French) and hates same-sex and interracial relationships. When he finds out that Spock is weak because of pon farr (quote him: "So I‘ve been landed with a First Officer who can‘t control his sexual urges!") and finds out about K/S, he provokes and harasses Spock wherever he can. Spock tries to hold out but when the point comes and the new captain disgraces Kirk‘s and Spock‘s memories and particularly Kirk‘s reputation, he explodes, full of sorrow, grief and loss, and hits the asshole captain.

He then flees the ship, unable to stay there any longer, and begins his lonesome odyssey. Partly looking for Kirk, partly avoiding Starfleet, partly trying to survive he assumes the identity of a dead thief – Silver. (How much I like the fitting name alone!)

The entire odyssey is rich with neat little happenings which I unfortunately can‘t mention all...He loses weight, he changes his look, he grows his hair, but he still takes care of his body because he thinks that as Kirk shared & treasured this body, it‘s also his and Spock wouldn't want to mess with something that belongs to Kirk. He finally finds work on an Orion cruiser and, declining the idea of suicide as long as there‘s hope Kirk might still be alive, keeps on living for one reason only: To be able to get a certain drug that allows him to relive the precious memories of his time with Kirk. Oh God – it is so well-written!

The rare moments when he can find a quiet place to bathe in those times, to see his beloved once more, to be with him again if only in a blurred vision, and his desperate longing, are heart-breaking.

He is threatened to be sold as a private slave after this last cruise and it almost doesn't matter to him anymore, suicide looking tempting now.

But then McCoy boards the cruiser and there is a commodore, dressed in gold, by his side and Spock, hardly daring to hope, finds out it IS Kirk. He does not dare to speak to him as he‘s sure Kirk wouldn't want to be with the drug-using, dirty-work doing, shabby Silver, as much as he might have loved Spock (Oh, Spock...).

The little steps that finally lead to their reunion are absolutely wonderful and filled with yearning, love, trust and a knowledge only lovers can hold. I‘d love to write about each little detail but you really should read it by yourself.

Silver is, although they are far from each other for almost the entire story, a splendid statement of K/S and the special bond and affection the both men share. There is so much feeling in there and as I said, it will always, always be dear to my heart.