Shadow Touch

Fanfiction
Title:	Shadow Touch
Author(s):	Deanna Gray
Date(s):	2002
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	Shadow Touch
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Shadow Touch is a Kirk/Spock story by Deanna Gray.

"Vulcan's Heart" by Liz for "Shadow Touch"

It was published in the print zine Beyond Dreams #4 and online.

Summary

"Kirk is concerned by Spockʼs uncharacteristic behavior after Kirkʼs inprisonment on Triskelion, only to finally force a confession from Spock of a mental “touch” that has formed between them that allowed the Vulcan to find him."

Reactions and Reviews

2002

Enjoyed this story very much, though I am not at all familiar with the starting point of ‘Gamesters of Triskelion’ it made me want to watch this episode, which I remember not liking, again. This is not Deanna’s most complex or demanding story by any means, but the story is fun and most importantly, it works. The idea of the ‘shadow touch’ is really nice, it’s a lovely term for something I am completely convinced of the existence of. This story has a very high feel good factor, it gave a nice warm glow, without being (at least to me) too saccharine. I can’t say much more about this without giving away the plot totally, except to say that as ever I am delighted to have my art work illustrate the beautiful prose of this writer, thanks!

"Shadow Touch" is nine pages long. It is the second story in this zine. This is just after the Triskelion episode. This is a distinctly K/S story with a lot of touches that make this story very specific to Spock and Kirk. In other words, you can't take this story and insert some other slash couple's names in another fandom and have it work.

However, I do have a problem with this story and it is something that is rather common in K/S. And that is the concept that both men are really heterosexual, but because of their love for each other that they as grown experienced adults accept a homosexual relationship. That is just something I don't see. But aside from that quibble which is not limited to this story alone by any means, I think the story is nice. While I don't really believe that a true blue het Kirk is suddenly going to go homo over Spock, it could happen. I would have preferred Kirk to have had more doubts or problems with coming to his decision and carrying it out. Everything just happened very quickly and also fairly smoothly. I don't think real life really works that way.

The idea of the shadow touch is really a believable touch. Deanna Gray is a good writer, and if my memory serves right, I in general do like her writing story after story.

2003

Before I begin this review, I feel a bit of an explanation about this story is needed. As fellow New Yorkers, both Deanna and I were deeply affected by the tragic events of 911/01, but in her case, they impacted her in a much more personal way, as she lives much closer to the city of New York than I do and saw the World Trade Center towers practically every day of her life. So when they came crumbling to the ground on that horrific day, their loss was a much more personal one for her than for me. But one thing we did share, as indeed many of us shared, was the disheartening of our spirits and the feeling that a lot of things we thought were so important before really didn't matter anymore. And although for the two of us, along with other K/Srs that we are very close to, our love for the fandom didn't diminish, the creative process certainly lost some of its spark. But as the old saying goes, "Time heals all wounds" and eventually Deanna felt the urge to write again. The result is "Shadow Touch", which she described to me as your basic "plot, what plot" kind of tale, just a simple story to help her get back into that creative mode again. So knowing all this, when I sat down to read this story, I really wasn't expecting too much, but I am happy to say I was pleasantly surprised (not that I should have been, because this woman simply can't write a bad or even mundane K/S story, at least in my opinion). Based on the TOS episode "Gamesters of Triskelion", this story picks up where the episode left off and addresses why in the episode, Spock was so convinced that he knew exactly where Kirk was and took the Enterprise halfway across the galaxy to retrieve him, despite the objections of both McCoy and Scotty, who felt he was making the wrong decision. Once Kirk is back on board and learns of this, he proceeds to question Spock about it and learns of the "shadow touch" that has formed between them. That revelation soon leads to other, even more personal revelations by Spock that Kirk finds difficult to accept at first. Eventually, however, he finds those revelations only reflect what he himself truly feels for his Vulcan. The result is the meeting of two bodies and minds that were destined to come together, in a wonderful story penned by one of the best K/S authors around today. Highly recommended.

2005

The interpretative element of decoding is evident in the way in which K/S stories build upon the homosocial and ambiguous moments of Star Trek and give them a homoerotic slant. Deanna Gray’s story ‘‘Shadow Touch’’ (Gray 2002) begins at the end of one of the Star Trek episodes ‘‘The Gamesters of Triskelion’’ (Nelson 1968). From this starting point ‘‘Shadow Touch’’ uses a conversation between Kirk and Spock to show a four-stage progression along a homosocial continuum. The first two stages are represented by Spock and Kirk, respectively: Spock says to Kirk ‘‘We are an efficient command team’’, and Kirk replies ‘‘yes, we are also good friends’’ (Gray 2002, 20). Spock’s statement is about professionally motivated homosocial bonds, and Kirk’s reply moves towards the personally motivated homosocial bond. Both of these homosocial interpretations of Kirk and Spock’s relationship are familiar from the dominant decoding of Star Trek. The third stage along the homosocial continuum in ‘‘Shadow Touch’’ is a move towards ambiguous relationships and draws on ambiguities highlighted by the K/S decoding: Spock says of his mental link to Kirk, ‘‘I feel you, your being, within myself’’ (Gray 2002, 20). Here the decoding is echoing ambiguities it finds in Star Trek; for instance, when Spock dies, Kirk claims ‘‘If there is even a chance that Spock has an eternal soul then it’s my responsibility . . . As surely as if it were my very own’’ (Star Trek III ; Nimoy 1984). Initially in ‘‘Shadow Touch’’, as in dominant decodings of Star Trek’s ambiguities, this bond is ascribed to homosocial motivation: Gray’s Kirk asks, ‘‘what’s wrong with that? That’s just what I was talking about before, how well suited we are for each other’’ (Gray 2002, 21). This rhetorical structure implicitly asks the reader to question, along with Kirk, their acceptance of the dominant homosocial decodings. The reply Gray writes for Spock takes the fourth step along the continuum from ambiguous areas to homoerotic desire: ‘‘‘In time the link would develop into a bond. A permanent bond.’ Spock’s voice dropped to a whisper. ‘a mating bond’’’ (Gray 2002, 21). So we move from a recognition of the homosocial bonds between Kirk and Spock, and where they move towards ambiguity, to an interpretation of those bonds as motivated by homoerotic desire. A movement that Gray’s Kirk sums up for us in the following passage.

From the beginning Spock had given him loyalty and devotion that surpassed what duty and his Starfleet oath required. Kirk had blindly thought it was because they were friends as well as a team. But thinking back on it now, he realised just how much Spock did for him. How protective he was, how willing to do anything Kirk wanted. How many times had he shielded Kirk with is mind, with his body? How many times had he stood up for his captain, even against Starfleet? What could it be but love? (Gray 2002, 22)

The passage begins by referencing the dominant decoding of Star trek; only its final question asks Kirk and us, the readers, to reconsider that decoding, and substitute the K/S decoding where Spock’s actions are interpreted as betraying his desire. Within this story the homosocial and ambiguous possibilities of Star Trek are being used to create a base, which draws on dominant decodings, upon which to build the homoerotic elements of the story.

2006

This story is a direct follow-on from the episode “Gamesters of Triskellion”. Once back on the ship, Kirk learns that Spock has been behaving rather strangely while he, Chekov and Uhura were missing on Triskellion causing both Scott and McCoy some concern. When he finally receives an explanation from Spock he is utterly amazed at the revelations, and Spock’s reaction to them which is absolutely typical. Although it takes some time, he finally realises his true feelings and sets out to convince Spock as well, which looks like being a difficult task at least in the beginning. This was a good portrayal of both Kirk and Spock with some nice touches, including their discussion of what might be happening back on the planet and whether the Providers will honour their promises now the ship has left.

Although I nearly always enjoy stories which follow on from the various episodes, I have to admit it was nice to see someone writing a conclusion to a different episode for once. There are a lot of conclusions to certain episodes (in particular Amok Time) but I don’t think that I’ve seen this one the subject of a follow-up before, so it made a nice change.