Klingons of Louisiana
| Fan Club | |
|---|---|
| Name: | Klingons of Louisiana (KOLA) |
| Dates: | 1990-? |
| Founder(s): | |
| Leadership: | |
| Country based in: | Louisiana, US |
| Focus: | Klingons |
| External Links: | |
| Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Klingons of Louisiana was a fan club with a Klingon focus.
The club published a zine called The Destroyer.
Club Rules and Expectations
Printed in "The Destroyer" #8 in 1991:
Khi, Fellow Warriors!
This is Fleet Admiral K'Eve Eptai K'Elland (yeah, that's right. Eptai) at the Ball At The End Of The Universe. I became KLINGON OF THE YEAR and was rewarded the ultimate honorific of "Eptai." What does this great honor mean? Why, more work (of course) and more responsibilities! Also, now that I am in the Admiralty where the Fleet can keep an eye on me, I'll actually have to live up to my honorific. (Sigh... Gone are the good ol' days of swanning about the Galaxy taking Olympian-length shore leaves and doctoring up the records afterwards...) Now I have to finally finish work on the new Klingon Charter... Egads! Imagine it... I have to bring order to anarchy... A worthy challenge!
This is what we have so far. The Klingons of Louisiana run on the Klingon Honor System, with the accent on HONOR. The most continually productive members earn the right to sit on the voting Council. The Council will consist of a maximum of five members, and the little voting done will be by the Council. Members who fall below a certain level of productivity will be classified as "inactive" (or "dead wood," as Admiral K'Worf prefers to refer to them), and will be stricken from the membership. If an inactive member doesn't like this, he (or she or it) can do one of two things: either enter a Council-approved Probationary Period (and work back into favor) or start a new club. Who chooses the members of the voting Council? Why, the voting Council — of course! This isn't a democracy, it's the Empire, it's the productive minority who rule, not the majority.
Now, you may ask how the club can grow when every member doesn't have a voice in running things. Reasonable question. This system involves a trade-off. We are trading mindless bureaucracy for efficiency. Other clubs are suffering from suffocating rules and stifling regulations about taking every little thing to the main membership for a vote. We want to keep things as simple as possible and save time for fun.
How do you join the Klingons of Louisiana? It's not easy, but then nothing worthwhile ever is. If you are too far away to attend monthly meetings (held on the fourth Saturday of each month) and be directly involved, all you have to do to receive our newsletter is send me (or Admiral K'Worf) a little article or artwork — anything you can put together will be fine. The newsletter is published monthly, and if you have submitted something to it, we'll send you a copy. If you are in the area and can attend meetings, contact us and we'll tell you when and where the next meeting will be. At the meeting, we will determine how you wish to contribute to the club and, if we can use your talents, you will be accepted. We don't want your money. Bribes are for weaklings, not warriors. We don't want weaklings, and we don't ask you to submit yourself to our whims. All members are respected for what they can bring to the club, and we expect all our members to stand up for their beliefs and rights. Our members must show Klingon spirit to join. Klingons are a race of HONOR!
Our meetings are gatherings of warriors. We begin with club business, quickly vote on any new campaigns, ask for volunteers and assign duties to those best fitted for them. We then open the Arena. Arena is an open discussion about anything and everything relating to fandom and the club. If any member has a complaint about the club or other members, he (or she or it) is encouraged to bring it up in this forum. A mediator is selected who will hear all sides of the argument and decide on the course of action and the outcome. The purpose of the Arena is to vent any pent-up hostility or complaints so that they can be resolved and therefore not interfere with the merry-making afterwards. After Arena, members can watch videos, play games, schmooze with each other, tell glorious lies of battles, or torture small furry animals — depending upon personal preference.
Well, if all this hasn't frightened you away, then you may have the mettle to become a Klingon. If so, sign up today! QUAPLA!
1991 Recap
A 1991 recap of the club's activities and goals was printed in "The Destroyer" #8:
Greetings, Fellow Warriors!
I've been asked to expound on just what the KLINGONS OF LOUISIANA are and what they do.
KOLA is a non-profit organization of STAR TREK fans who are interested in doing things for local events — warriors who are not content to just sit around and let fandom entertain us. KOLA does not require dues of its members, at least not monetary ones. What we require is loyalty, honor, and the willingness to give of self for the benefit of fandom. We also require certain behavioral standards — and excellence in all things done — from our members.
If all this doesn't sound like the vicious Klingons you remember from the television series and movies, well, you're partly right. We are the next generation of Klingons out to gain glory for the Empire and to better ourselves through our warrior ideals (which are to protect and serve where needed, having as much fun as possible in the process).
In the past year, we have offered assistance in many worthwhile campaigns, working hard to help run video rooms at conventions with our Federation allies (Krewe of the Enterprise). We also ran security for the first annual New Orleans Worst Film Festival. (In fact, we've done too many things to list here.) We have done all this because fandom is our Empire, and we wish to help it grow. KOLA is our rallying cry to fight entropy in fandom.
We just finished our part in The Ball At The End Of The Universe, a charity Ball which was started as an alternative to other fan events in our area. The Ball, which was filled with intrigue from its conception, has generated complaints and muck-racking from certain disreputable corners in fandom. I will not give them credence by mentioning them here, but I will say that it did steel us to our purpose. We gave every drop of our warriors' blood to help make The Ball At The End Of The Universe the very best event we could. We worked our butts off, decorating and tying up any loose ends we came across; we ran security without any real problems. At its end, the receipts collected at the gate for the St. Vincent DePaul Society heralded the success of the Ball and our part in it.
We are currently engaged in a number of projects, the most notable of which is the monthly Budget Costuming Party which KOLA organized with ALBOE and NOWFF. It is a hands-on workshop for fans who want to learn how to construct decent costumes for as little money as possible. Another activity is the proposed Klingon Battle Games, which would involve mock battles with padded weapons and organized squirt gun fights at conventions. We are also planning a future visit to the children's hospital to entertain the kids and introduce them to fandom.
In the future, we plan to be involved in campaigns in a number of out-of-state conventions. We're tired of wasting time on local cons — the politics and back-stabbing so much a part of them are self-defeating — because it's not worth our efforts to prolong their slow death. We Klingons fight for our beliefs, and we believe in GROWTH!
The Komerex Zha forever, Fleet Admiral K'Eve Eptai K'Elland