I Gave at the Office

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	I Gave at the Office
Author(s):	Mary Suskind Lansing
Date(s):	1992
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
External Links:	at AO3
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I Gave at the Office is a Kirk/Spock story by Mary Suskind Lansing.

It was published in the print zine Consort #2.

Summary

"When Spock is forced to donate sperm to the Vulcan genetics bank, he needs his bondmateʼs help."

Reactions and Reviews

If you could buy the premise, this was a funny story. Written tongue in cheek, it offers more than the usual quick laugh. I'm glad to see one of Kirk's schemes have consequences.

“I Gave At The Office” is the intriguing title of this hilarious story by Mary Suskind Lansing. It features a Kirk and Spock who are bond mates and begins with Spock’s efforts to avoid Vulcan Decree N55075 which requires him to donate sperm to the gene pool. It doesn’t take long for him to exhaust all avenues of appeal, and the main part of the story centers on his efforts to comply with it, not an easy matter for someone who has missed the biofeedback sexual training given to all ten year old Vulcans and who is therefore unable to respond to such commands as “Distend your erectile tissue”.

Dispatched to a room off Sickbay with a specimen bottle, he is unable to rise to the occasion until the intervention of Jim, who of course takes a completely different approach (“Kirk called it fantasy. Spock called it strange.”) After a wonderful exchange in which Spock is forced to confess over the intercom “the device I was attempting to sample is malfunctioning” Jim is able to elicit the desired effect by talking to him about warp engine mix equations. This is even more impressive as Jim is on the bridge at the time, surrounded by an oblivious crew who are nevertheless amazed at the depths of their captain’s knowledge of warp engineering. And then the sample goes missing.... A cue for more intercom sex in an even more pressurised situation.

Available from the KSP library and definitely one to read when you are in the mood for some light, but well- written K/S.