Handball

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Handball
Author(s):	Homo Erectus
Date(s):	1984
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Handball is a K/S story by Homo Erectus.

It was published in the print zine Out of Bounds: Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves.

Reactions and Reviews

This is one of those stories that is so odd, it just begs to be reviewed! I should have known when I saw the title and penname, but nothing prepared me for Kirk raging until he turns purple or slapping Spock! Spock had warned Kirk that he would “prove an inferior sexual companion” and one of Kirk’s responses to this is: “Thanks a lot, you fucking—excuse me—non—fucking Vulcan martyr.” So then Kirk goes into Spock’s quarters and strums the lyre and feels sexual stimulation. So later in bed, Kirk tries something with “vibration”. Guess. Well, that doesn’t work either until finally when Kirk confronts Spock about not having sex with him anymore and they are playing chess, he stumbles upon the answer to the question of what really turns on a Vulcan! Should I tell you? Naahh…. Read this story because it’s fascinating—like weird fascinating. It makes you want to say to the author: “How ever did you get this idea?”

Once in a great while I hear something, see something, dream something that has so much resonance for me that I just can‘t get it out of my head. There‘s that particularly annoying jingle, that time I ran over the bunny nest with the lawnmower and had to finish off one of the occupants, that weird dream I had when I was in high school about falling on a bright emerald green snake, that time I walked through my grandad‘s ghost ... and the premise of this story. I read it for the first time three weeks ago and I ... can‘t ... get it ... out ...of my head.

Handball occurs a few weeks after Jim and Spock become seriously involved. The Enterprise is out in space somewhere. Nothing interesting is happening and Jim has way too much time to be fixated on Spock. In fact, Jim is horny all the time. They‘ve tried almost everything and Jim loves it all. He can‘t get enough. But there‘s one little problem. Spock never gets aroused and poor Jim has tried almost everything in his extensive repertoire. At first, Jim decides it‘s because he never has Spock‘s undivided attention but Spock patiently explains that he devotes a great deal of attention to Jim, perhaps not his full attention, but then, only unexplained phenomenon and life-threatening situations get his full attention. Jim should be reasonable. Unfortunately, frustrated almost beyond ken and reasonableness don‘t really go hand-in-hand. Jim‘s almost to the point of being cruel, to the point of forcing Spock to perform that one act that he objects to (the one that involves orally ingesting live animal cells) but he loves Spock. He could never be cruel to Spock, just have the occasional evil thought. Throughout Spock keeps trying to figure out what Jim is after. Is he enacting a fantasy? What fantasy? Diligently deciding what response Jim expects and providing it. They are clearly head over heels in love, but their sexual psyches are completely mismatched. How in all the worlds did these guys end up in bed together the first time? One evening Jim interrupts Spock‘s lyre practice and when Spock steps into the fresher, Jim lightly touches the strings. Gentle vibration accompanies the sound. Ah ha! Vibration! Well, the vibrator incident was a disaster. Spock deeply regretted allowing Jim to believe he enjoyed surprises and Jim stormed out in a huff. After pouting for a few days, Jim offers the fig leaf and throws in the towel. He asks to preserve their friendship by returning to a platonic relationship and apologizes for pushing for more. They begin a chess game. Both are playing incompetently. When Spock lifts his king to make yet another brain-dead move, Jim affectionately teases him and grasps the hand holding the king. It‘s electric. Jim‘s finally discovered an erogenous zone and boy, does he make the most of it. This author proves unequivocally that it is possible to write a hot sex scene about heavily petting a hand. When Jim discovers Spock has been aroused to the point of ejaculation, he‘s ready to proceed to more intimate variations. Spock‘s also more than ready to get down and dirty. Jim moves toward Spock‘s crotch. Spock shakily offers his other hand and asks for more. It‘s a train wreck and I can‘t look away.

Several authors, e.g. Nadja Lee, tell insightful stories about reconciling different cultures in everyday life. There are a few stories built around the idea that the guys can‘t get together, no matter how much they want to, because of physiological incompatibility. There are relatively many stories in which a mindmeld(s) at the appropriate time fixes everything and many more in which the only incompatibility is an intellectual one, usually about retaining identity for one or the other. This is the only story I‘ve encountered where acts one finds arousing do absolutely nothing for the other and vice versa. And it seems, in some respects, a more likely situation than the others. So how did they wind up in bed together? How will they stay there? We all know, including the Jim and Spock in this story, that happily ever after is inevitable. But how? Authors, please help me out. I really, really don‘t want this stuck in my head as long as the bright emerald green snake.