Golden Dreams (Star Trek: TOS story)

Fanfiction
Title:	Golden Dreams
Author(s):	Natasha Barry
Date(s):	1990
Length:
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:
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Golden Dreams is a Kirk/Spock Star Trek: TOS story by Natasha Barry.

It was published in the print zine Way of the Warrior #3.

Summary

"Kirk rejects Spock at the end of the 5 year mission."

Reactions and Reviews

This is a short and rather strange story I thought. It is set at the end of the first five year mission after Kirk has been told he is being promoted to Admiral. Although we sense that he is disappointed that he will not be commanding the Enterprise, he is desperately trying to come to terms with this and convince himself as well as everyone else, that he thinks he is now too old to be on active duty. Of course, Spock disagrees with this and wants to stay with Kirk if he can although he has already announced his plans to return to Vulcan although not at this point to become a disciple of Gol. His motivations are not clear at this point and the author portrays very well Spock's frustration at Kirk because he is not fighting to stay on the Enterprise, where he believes Kirk belongs and we get the feeling that Spock is disappointed that Kirk is not prepared to fight harder to remain in space on the Enterprise, so they can stay together. Most of the plot takes place over a meal where Spock tries to reveal his feelings to Kirk who does not react at all in the way he expected him to. Their conversation is well described as is Kirk's feeling that he needs to convince all his former friends from the ship that he is perfectly happy at accepting a ground assignment when in fact nothing could be further from the truth, his determination to hide his real feelings is vividly described as is Spock's reaction to his rather atypical behaviour especially since McCoy has already decided he is also leaving Starfleet mostly because Kirk seems determined to accept promotion to a job which both he and Spock know will not make him happy. Unfortunately, this story does not have the ending I was expecting and that may be one reason why I found it somewhat unsatisfying in the end.