four boots, five thousand two hundred and eighty feet

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Fanfiction
Title: four boots, five thousand two hundred and eighty feet
Author(s): Pares (kormantic)
Date(s): 03 September 2007
Length: 9164 words
Genre: slash, bodyswap
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
External Links: four boots, five thousand two hundred and eighty feet at AO3

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four boots, five thousand two hundred and eighty feet is a Stargate Atlantis John/Rodney story by kormantic.

Author's Notes

This story was started for runpunkrun during that particular month (AKA her marvelous March). She asked for this particular premise. Yes, yes, it's a fanfic cliché, and I have, in fact already written a bodyswap story, but well. The heart wants what it wants, and Punk's heart wanted John to have Rodney's ass. Not that way! Well, okay, that way, too. (g) Note: 5280 ft = 1 mile. Yes, my title is a lame play on words. ::hangs head in shame:: Special thanks to linabean for exquisite beta, and to runpunkrun herself who patiently audienced the first half and patiently waited on the second. (g)[1]

Reactions and Reviews

The One That Should Come with a Warning Reading, "Will Put a Song in Your Head That You Hoped You'd Forgotten." No, Not Celine Dion. Even Worse. But It's Worth It, I Promise. Four Boots, Five Thousand Two Hundred and Eighty Feet, by kormantic. Stargate: Atlantis, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard.

Bodyswap, people. Bodyswap. Is there anything better? No, there isn't. And this is an awesome bodyswap, filled with humor and fruit and comparative analysis of asses, so you want to read this RIGHT NOW.

And now every single one of you who hasn't already read this has clicked and is no longer reading this sentence; I can safely assume I'm addressing just those of you who have read it. (Okay, fine. And everybody who doesn't read SGA, and everybody who doesn't read fan fiction at all.) So I can tell you that in this story, Rodney and John learn a lesson that got totally skipped in kindergarten, at least for me, which is: if you start sharing there's just no end to it, and eventually you end up unable to call even your body parts truly your own.

(That would make an awesome lesson, don't you think? My kindergarten was clearly deficient. Although I'm not sure how you prepare small children for the future rigors of bodyswapping. Is there a felt board or a fingerplay for that? Maybe a song with mnemonic hand gestures?)

So, basically, on the Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Fan Fiction chart, this would be: share, but only with people you wouldn't mind having sex with, because we all know where sharing leads. (But another thing I've learned from fan fiction is that everyone wants to have sex with everyone, even tentacles, so, really, I guess this wouldn't change much.)

The food in this one, by the way, sounds genuinely tasty. But remember, kids: keep your alien fruit to yourself unless you want to get laid.[2]

References

  1. ^ kormantic at LiveJournal. four boots, five thousand two hundred and eighty feet, Sheppard/McKay, NC17, posted 03 September 2007. (Archived 25 February 2009 by the Wayback Machine.)
  2. ^ rec by thefourthvine at 173: There Is No Love Sincerer Than the Love of Food, October 8, 2007