Five Things to Say

Fraser/Kowalski Fanfiction
Title:	Five Things to Say
Author(s):	Purna
Date(s):
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	due South
External Links:	online at AO3
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Five Things to Say is a Fraser/RayK story by Purna.

Reactions and Reviews

Those who have watched and read due South know that Fraser is an exceptionally inscrutable character. His voice is difficult to capture, and arguments over Fraser characterization abound - there seem to be almost as many Frasers as there are stories. I myself can buy into all sorts of different views of Fraser, if the author is convincing enough. But one of my personal pet peeves is stories that portray Fraser as one-dimensionally dry, intellectual, and cerebral, almost to the point of dysfunctionality, neglecting completely his passionate and earthy side.

Which is why I love Five Things to Get Used To. Purna gives us an unusually appealing and layered portrayal of Fraser, revealing him as a man with deeply felt passions, a sensuous, mystical side, and the soul of a true romantic - a characterization I find eminently believable. Yet she doesn't ignore or minimize the fact that he is undeniably dry, intellectual, and cerebral in his demeanor - that is the face he presents to the world most often.

The story begins with Fraser feeling sad, dissatisfied, and out of sorts. A jog past an antiquarian bookstore has revived his sadness at the loss of books given to him by his grandmother, all of which were destroyed in the fire that consumed his apartment building. He finds himself thinking about and missing his grandmother, remembering how she adhered to the Greek ideal of balance in one's life - balance between the intellect and the soul, the head and the heart. To this end, on his eighteenth birthday she gave him two volumes: Marcus Aurelius's Meditations for his head, and a book of sensuous love poems by the 13th century Persian poet and religious scholar Rumi for his heart.

Fraser, of course, had always had a difficult time achieving that balance, tending to live far more in his head than in his heart, and his ill-fated experience with Victoria - his first clumsy attempt at an affair of the heart - tipped the scales even further, leaving him resigned to being "the thinking one, the unshakable voice of reason." Now he finds himself unable to deny the fact that he is falling in love with Ray, but though he thinks at times that the spark he feels might be reciprocated, he is absolutely terrified of following his heart, unable to forget that doing so once before brought him nothing but "pain, sorrow, and a bullet lodged near the spine." So he hides behind logic and reason, telling himself he has no choice but to keep his feelings hidden and suppressing the "sensual, mystical part of his soul that was as much a part of him as cool logic," choosing to escape to "the dry world of words" rather than face his fear.

But Ray's subtle overtures become more and more difficult for Fraser to ignore or dismiss, and he agonizes over whether he dares risk relaxing his iron control and exposing his "bruised but longing heart" - which he suspects might have found a twin in Ray's - thereby opening himself to further hurt. He is paralyzed by his fear and indecision, though, and ultimately it is Ray who - despite his own fears - finds the courage to make the first move, take the risk, go out on a limb. Then it's up to Fraser to decide whether he can put aside his fear of following his heart and take what he's being offered.

Five Things to Stay is fundamentally Fraser's story, and Purna's Fraser voice is exceptional. [...]