Enterprising Tours

Fanfiction
Title:	“Enterprising Tours”
Author(s):	Dana Austin Marsh
Date(s):	print zine-10/1994; K/S Archive-10/2009
Length:	print zine-28 pgs.;K/S Archive-10,147 words
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TOS
Relationship(s):	Kirk/Spock
External Links:	The Kirk/Spock Fanfiction Archive on AO3
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“Enterprising Tours” is a Kirk/Spock story by Dana Austin Marsh.

first page

It was published in the print zine KaleidoScope #2 10/1994, and online in 10/2009.

Summary

“Kirk and Spock decide to use different places on the Enterprise to make love while it is deserted during a re-fit, unaware that some crew members have started tours through the ship.”

Reactions and Reviews

1994

I loved this story! If O'Neil doesn't have his own ship by the time he's 30, it'll be because he's in the brig. The K/S was worked in well and the characters remained true to form. I could well believe the entire scenerio.

1995

It's been a while since I've seen this author's work. I thought perhaps she'd quit writing and I'm very glad I was wrong. For the second time in this zine we get a glimpse of something we don't often see—the lower- ranking members of the crew, and in this instance, the things they do in their off duty time. The Enterprise is in for repairs and the plot thickens when four horny young ensigns, all cabin-mates and all flat broke, cook up an unusual scheme to earn the money for one big night on the town. Matters get complicated when the quartet finds out that their Captain and First Officer are taking their leave aboard ship this time and have special plans of their own. Jarringly out of character were some ideas that Spock had for using the leave time, not to mention Kirk's willingness to go along with those ideas. However, if you're willing to suspend your belief for a short time the tale becomes not only enjoyable but downright comical.

We are introduced to four aberrant ensigns on the Enterprise who come up with the idea to make some money by selling unauthorized tours of the ship.

Very clear writing, with precise characterizations with few words. As an example, an Eminarian muses: "Now, however, in the clear light of hung-over day, it sounded like greater idiocy than his people's 300 year war with Vendikar. It was true his father wanted him to leave Starfleet, but not in disgrace." We learn so much about this character from just those two lines.

There are many clever moments, such as when the ensigns are discussing what to do and one refers to "all those old 2D movies" and "one about some guy who ran a whorehouse out of a morgue".

It was very funny and decidedly sexy as Kirk and Spock try having sex on different areas of the ship, including the zero gravity gym, and are rudely interrupted each time.

So much clever writing in this unique, humorous story. When one of the tour-giving ensigns suddenly encounters a compromised Kirk and Spock, "His first wish - that he become immediately invisible - obviously was not going to be granted, so Shethel did the only thing he could, he hurried his steps..."

There's also a perfect ending to a delightful story.

1998

Take four eager, inventive young ensigns without any money and put the Enterprise in orbit round Hillthania with its expensive shore leave facilities. Add to that mix the fact that Captain Kirk and First Officer Spock are looking forward to indulging their very own personal fantasies without leaving the ship and what do you get? Well in this case a well-thought out and amusing story which manages to turn what could have been routine shore leave into a rout. And do Kirk and Spock get to fulfill their fantasy? Read it and see!

Four ensigns trying to earn something by giving tours of the enterprise, inadvertently spoiling every setting Kirk and Spock chose to make love and interrupting their every attempt at lovemaking at the most inopportune moments, is the setting for the story.

Devilish idea and great fun to read.

2009

As always from Dana, this was a wonderfully written story, full of humour.

It's perhaps inevitable, of a crew of 400, that there will be some who will flout the rules, push the envelope to their own gains and boldly demonstrate they aren't as bright as they'd like to think they are. It's unfortunate in this case that four of them, who are in sore need of funds for their shoreleave, happened to share a room together on the Enterprise. Couple that with a horny senior team in Kirk and Spock, who have the brilliant idea to make use of the fact the Enterprise is almost empty while undergoing repairs at a starbase, by having nooky in various parts of the ship that as yet had not seen such lusty pursuits, and what ensues is a series of unfortunate encounters of farcical proportions.

The story is fast-paced, funny and at times, truly cringe-making, as each of Kirk and Spock's extra-curricular activities get thwarted one after another by the 'enterprising' foursome and their escapades, all of it wonderfully crafted with the deft hand that Dana always delivers. Definitely a recommended read for some light-hearted fun!

I just CAN'T STOP laughing! XD

This fanfiction is altogheter too funny XD I loved poor Spock and Kirk... and I adore the four young boys! XD XD XD

I really do XD I think they will make *wonderful* officers soon... and that Jim Kirk won't be too harsh with them.

And I bet Spock and Kirk will laugh at this, one day XD maybe soon. I adore your writing as much as the boys, by the way. You really caught life on the Enterprise!

Interrupted sexcapades? Yes please! Freaking hilarious.

Kirk refusing sex in his command chair? Hahahaha.

Spock coming up with original fantasies? Muahhaha.

All ends in good fun? Win, win, win!

You've won the price is right! Permission to board clearly granted. (Yes, I apporpriated that line from arysteia's "command dynamics")