|Fandom:||Star Trek: The Original Series|
|External Links:||online here|
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.
It was published in the print zine Beyond Dreams #5.
"The reason is revealed behind the estrangement between Kirk and Spock during the Klingon peace negotiations."
Reactions and Reviews
Normally, this author usually writes in the timeline of TOS for her stories, but in this case, she chooses to set this particular piece after ST VI. Also, whereas she is known for her first time stories, here Kirk and Spock already have an established relationship. In this story, the author attempts to explain the reason for the obvious rift we see between the two in the last movie and does an admirable job of it.
One of the elements I really, really enjoyed about this story was how the author portrayed the older Spock. In TOS, whenever Spock would have a disagreement with Kirk, he would state his position, Kirk would counter with his own argument, and invariably, instead of pursuing his own point of view, Spock would back down. In this story, he does not. Here we see a Spock who is not afraid to stand up for his beliefs, even against Kirk. That more than anything else really sold this story for me. It is exactly how I would picture Spock during this time, as someone who has matured over time and now has a great deal more confidence in himself.As I said to the author after I initially read this story in reference to how she characterized the older Spock— she got it, she really got it. 
This story is terrific! You might expect me to say that, seeing how gung-ho I am about BD5, but no, at first I wasn't so intrigued. Frustrating, I thought, this story goes along with the time/story line of the movies series, which I usually don't. After the first few pages, my mind was changed completely and I found hidden depths in the drama that cleared up many of the questions and aggravations that I had upon seeing ST:6.
The author set the theme in the opening scene: Admiral Kirk and Captain Spock facing each other belligerently across the wide expanse of the conference table in the council chamber. This is a fitting metaphor for what's happened to their relationship. They are far apart on many emotional issues, we learn. To a hot-under-the- collar Kirk this is the last straw, Spock taking it upon himself to volunteer his lover, Kirk, to head the diplomatic mission to bring the Klingon empire into the Federation; in other words to make nice with the guys who killed his son. This abrasive issue leads to more sensitive ones between the two men, who bonded after V'ger. Kirk is angry, embittered, still not over his pain and resentment at David's death. He and Spock really have it out, Spock giving back as good as he gets. At first I didn't want to see this happen, then I found myself drawn in, deeply involved and rooting for Kirk. That's it, Jim, I thought, clear the air, get it out, get it all out! For I, too, was mad at Spock and I'd had questions after seeing ST:6, ones I couldn't reconcile with my knowledge of these heroic and beloved men. In any case, the fallout from Spock's actions is rife with consequence, some of it piercingly honest and painful. Kirk is steamed to the point of telling his bondmate to get out of their apartment and out of Kirk's life. Spock is aghast but goes home and packs for the mission, suffering self-recriminations over his treatment of Kirk. They remain estranged but the mission goes on. When Kirk is imprisoned on the Klingon penal planet their bond is still in working order; Spock rescues his lover and brings him home. Still, I was so upset! Then the author began to work her magic and my frustration melted into admiration and, finally, joy. Needless to say, the men don't stay apart. During the action, some of it carried out in their minds, a lot of the history of Jim and Spock's relationship is filled in for me. There is much flashback lovemaking featuring very erotic, hot and exciting—ok, I'll call it fellatio. Wonderful! This is a fast-moving and utterly entertaining story, a masterful blend that made my mouth water and had me wishing, once again, that I could write like this. Finally, we're treated to a long, provocative session of loving as they make up, thrash things out and come to a meeting of the minds. A lot of other great things meet too, and everything ends with a hard-won and satisfying climax (pun intended). In the process we get deeper, more reflective and I must say, enlightening conversation. Like a raw nerve exposed, this scene—indeed, the entire story—sheds light on the unavoidable tensions of intimacy. Intimacy, it seems to me, is always a challenge. That's our human burden and now it's Spock's.Through this author's prodigious talent, it becomes a vivid voyage of self-discovery and identity. A voyage at once exhilarating and important, letting us see how our heroes rise to that challenge—and that's no pun! 
Star Trek 6 is my least favorite of the ST movies, so when I saw that Deanna had written a story set within the events of that movie, I had to read it to see how on earth that movie could be k/s-spackled in canon. And boy is it spackled! It explains and brings into the light, so many things that were frustrating about that movie. So if you want to see what really happened in ST 6, this is aanother must read from Deanna Gray. Like many of her stories, I was pulled in right from the opening page, in which Kirk and Spock (long time lovers since V'ger) are continuing their argument at the conference table in the council chamber over Spock's involving Kirk in the Klingon affair for peace. Things are said, by both men, some hurtful and bitter, that cause them to separate. What follows, is a very believable, fast- moving, and beautifully written finding their way back to each other. These are two very complex men, and it's nice to see the real life problems and misunderstands, that all couples have, explored and worked through, and at the retirement ages that Kirk and Spock are as well. We are also treated to some very hot love scenes in this story! Yes, "scenes," more than one! So there's lots about this story to love. 
I know a lot of people tend to prefer stories set within the original mission timeline, but I like most of the original films and therefore enjoyed this particular story, which manages to overcome the obstacles which this particular film presents to the K/S writer. This was a really well written story covering events behind the scenes in the film The Undiscovered Country. Spock’s reasons for not telling Kirk about the mission with the Klingons were well described (and realistic which is hard to do in my opinion) as were Kirk’s feelings on the subject.
His inability to let go of his anger over his son David’s death and his deep rooted hatred of the Klingons was well described. Although perhaps his reactions when he does find out what Spock has been doing are a bit extreme in the circumstances, they do nicely set up events that follow including Kirk’s realisation that he was jealous of Spock’s relationship with Valeris, and worried that she might take Spock away from him in the face of their own seemingly deteriorating relationship. Kirk’s feelings of anger and his inability to deal with his son David’s death at the hands of the Klingons is well depicted as is Spock’s determination to help resolve the situation, even if this does mean keeping things from Kirk in the beginning. We also see Spock’s feelings of guilt and concern when the mission goes wrong and when both Kirk and McCoy are imprisoned by the Klingons his determination to rescue his friends is very compelling, as is Kirk’s realisation that he over-reacted to Spock’s actions by telling him he wanted to end their relationship. His realisation he has allowed his hatred for the Klingons to threaten their relationship, as well as allowing the spectre of his approaching retirement to drive a wedge between them is very well portrayed.We also see Kirk’s worrying about Spock in spite of the gravity of his own situation, when he realises just who the traitor is and his concern that his lover’s investigation may lead him into danger. Of course, once the mission is over they both discuss what has been happening and both try to accept each other’s point of view. Kirk’s gradual realisation that he can now accept David’s death and move on is sensitively written, as is his admittance that the prospect of losing Spock again is far more painful than facing David’s death and the fact that he didn’t really make much effort to connect with his son before the events on Genesis. In fact, I found this whole tale very compelling, although I suspect others may not agree with me! 
I have enjoyed and reread this story many times. It represents a very believable slice of life in the relationship between Kirk and Spock. The setting provides a view of Star Trek VI that fills in some much needed blanks from the movie. I always hated Kirk’s line at the beginning of the movie, “Where’s Spock?” As if Kirk wouldn’t know where he was. But Deanna provides a very good explanation of why Kirk did not know. The confrontation between Spock and Kirk at the beginning takes the very real anger of Kirk a whole new dimension with both of them expressing hurtful words and feelings. Kirk ends the argument by telling Spock to get out, tells him to move from their apartment and refuses to share their quarters on board the Enterprise. I appreciated the fact that even though they’re bonded, their relationship has its ups and downs with real misunderstandings. The bond doesn’t automatically entail wedded bliss and happiness. The story touches on scenes through ST VI, filling in the parts that we needed to see, with a wonderful reconciliation at the end. This is one of those stories that becomes part of the canon TOS in my little world. Great writing as always by this talented writer! 
- from the K/S Press #72
- from The K/S Press #71
- from The K/S Press #73
- from The K/S Press #74
- from The K/S Press #115
- from The K/S Press #122