Dear Diary

K/S Fanfiction
Title:	Dear Diary
Author(s):	Karla Kelly
Date(s):	1991
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	Star Trek: The Original Series
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Dear Diary is a Kirk/Spock story by Karla Kelly.

It was published in the print zine Counterpoint #5.

Summary

"Kirkʼs yeoman writes of her experiences."

Reactions and Reviews

This was a "cute" story about Kirk's inept yeoman. I thought it was fun for a change to see 'our guys' from someone else's viewpoint. I did find it a bit unbelievable that Kirk would be so unconcerned about nudity that he would walk around nearly naked in front of his young female yeoman. But, basically, the story made me grin and wish that it had been longer.

A number of K/S stories have focused on James T. Kirk’s yeomen--particularly on their infatuation with Kirk or their over-zealousness. This one, about a yeoman who is naive, inept, and totally self-absorbed, is the cleverest I’ve read, as well as one of the funniest K/S stories I’ve come across. If you haven’t read this story, stop here! Kelly perfectly accomplishes a tricky task here: this first person narrator is totally unaware of what’s really going on around her yet at the same time manages to give us enough information to see beyond her point of view--to K/S! In each diary entry, Kelly writes wonderfully vivid scenes for the yeoman to misinterpret and for us to relish. Yeoman Pulver (remember Ensign Pulver?), who has been raised in a fundamentalist convent, is both naive and stunningly dense, but if she overlooks the increasing sexual innuendo between Kirk and Spock, we certainly don’t. Her incompetence even actually helps Kirk and Spock get together. Early on, after she leaves an iron sitting on Kirk’s chair in his cabin and he sits on it, she panics when Spock asks her to apply salve to the wound. She dashes out, leaving Kirk “with his rear end elevated on pillows”: “The last thing I saw was that large Vulcan hand gently covering the red welt on the captain’s buttock. It’s a sight I’ll never forget.” Neither will we! When Kirk starts changing his own sheets soon thereafter, the yeoman figures he’s considerately trying to lighten her work load.

Later, when Spock has just returned from two days spent on a planet with the Romulan Commander— during which Kirk has been short-tempered and tense—Pulver walks in on them. Even she recognizes Kirk’s seductive tone: “If Mr. Spock had been female instead of male and human instead of Vulcan, he would have melted into a puddle at the captain’s feet.” Of course, we know Spock does just that, and Pulver barges in on them again a few minutes later, only to find them in a deep meld, which only she could manage to misinterpret—and interrupt. Kirk is not so “considerate” this time, and she gets out fast.

Not surprisingly, Pulver soon finds herself transferred; she performs as McCoy’s yeoman with equal success. He is willing to overlook her incompetence, though, when she starts telling him more than she realizes about Kirk and Spock. (Amazed by her innocence, he voices what she proudly considers a compliment: “He said that...he was going to look up my psych scores real soon.”). She writes, “I was just beginning to like Dr. McCoy when I got to the part about Mr. Spock’s hand on Captain Kirk’s face. All of a sudden he jumped out of his chair, whooping and hollering and laughing to beat the band.” McCoy rushes off to celebrate with the guys, but after he orders Pulver to bring his brandy to Kirk’s cabin, the festivities halt as she tells him she dumped out the entire bottle, concerned that he was drinking too much.

By the end of the story, Scotty has already transferred Pulver (for a little thing like cutting and pasting his technical journals), and she’s stationed in the ship’s library. Can’t do much harm there, right, as the Enterprise heads for Vulcan? Then again, she does have access to Kirk’s personal logs...“Uhura once said that the captain has had so many encounters with women that he can’t remember all their names. Wonder if he’d like a list?”

Since I like to see Kirk and Spock’s relationship through the eyes of a third person, this story and its sequels are right up my alley. Yeoman Pulver causes havoc wherever she goes, and I always enjoy tagging along after her as she gets passed along from officer to officer totally oblivious to the events she has inadvertently set in motion. K/S lite of the best sort!