Bite Me, Hate Memes

Fanfiction
Title:	Bite Me, Hate Memes
Author(s):	Pir8fancier
Date(s):	17 January 2007
Length:	32,930 words
Genre(s):	slash
Fandom(s):	Harry Potter
Relationship(s):
External Links:	Bite Me, Hate Memes at AO3 Bite Me, Hate Memes at pir8fancier's ship
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Bite Me, Hate Memes is a Harry Potter story by Pir8fancier.

It has a sequel: BMHM: the Wedding, which is posted as a second chapter on AO3.

The Author Discusses This Story

From Slashcast Insider Interview with Pir8:

emmagrant01, the interviewer: I want to talk about two fics [the other is Snape, the Home Fries Nazi] that you've written that, in some ways, are very different from each other, but in another way, are very similar. The first one is a very recent one called Bite Me, Hate Memes. You said you wrote that as a parody of fandom. Can you explain?

Pir8: Yea. It- I don't know if it was so much a parody as it is a commentary on a not-so-nice part of fandom. And this fic was generated- I never meant it to be ten chapters. I mean, I was astonished when it actually got to that point. This was in response to a hate meme that be going around, and someone mentioned by name and I actually thought it was pretty funny because, you know, I'm a nobody and I was actually surprised that I was even mentioned, and I sort of made a commentary about it: "Oh, ha ha ha, I've made the big time, you know, I'm actually mentioned in a hate meme." And that prompted a discussion on my LJ, primarily between me and furiosity, saying, "You know, this is so horrible." And she said, "Well, yea, you know, they said this and this and this about me in another- in an earlier hate meme, and you just have to kind of blow it off." We were sort of trading comments back and forth and laughing about it. And I said, "Yea, you know, I'm gonna write a fic about this." Well, someone on my flist and posted it in the hate meme. I mean, they took comments out of my LJ and used them to feed this hate meme, and I went berserk. And I closed off the discussion right away, and I was so angry that- you know, I wanted to write about. You know, I mean, a part of fanfiction that's great about it, is you kind of have this soapbox, right? And I wanted to, you know, write about how people get hurt about it and how, you know, there is an element of truth and how you can't- how some of it is funny, but so- you know, most of it is very, very hurtful.

Emma: Well I think that- I think that it works, because it's- it is a really funny fic, and it's very clever, but I think one of the things that really struck me about it was that it's- Draco is the central character here, and he's just sort of sitting on the sidelines and watching this hate meme going on, which is this great, magical hate meme that you've created, and he's just sort of thinking, "Aw," you know, there's that great line about, you know, "I spit on these second rate haters." And he's really talking about, "Hey, I'm a Slytherin, and I know how to give people shit, and this- this is a juvenile, cowardly way to do it." And so there was all of that running through it, which was hilarious. But also the fact that he was the only one that figured out how to break the spell, and he broke it by starting a love meme. And that just- I thought that was brilliant.

Pir8: You know, I do think that, you know, the thing that really bothers me about these hate memes is anonymity and, ah- you know, as bratty and obnoxious as my Draco is, you know, he would insult you to your face, and I really wanted to bring up this issue of anonymity, because I find it really childish and vile, and would far rather someone say this to me in an email as opposed to trashing me behind this anonymity. It is- you know, I don't get the whole thing, so... But I did the anonymity was a huge part of that, and how he refused to be anonymous. I didn't want- you know, he just said, "You know, this is- say it to their faces, you cowards." I mean, that's basically what's the message.

Emma: I really loved your Draco in this fic. I mean, he was funny and just manic and over the top, and his- the narration was just this stream of consciousness that came out of him and it was just- he was bitchy, and selfish, and he's sort of canonical and fanonical at the same time, which was really amazing to me. Where did that characterization come from?

Pir8: You know, this thing that has always bothered me about the JK Rowling characterizations, is how one-dimensional they are. I mean, I understand why she did that - they're basically stand-ins for Voldemort, because Voldemort is so off the page in the books, generally speaking, that they are the reminders: Okay, you know, Voldemort is a real threat and you have this house that sort of represents him. But she made him so one-dimensional and, you know- and this Draco is all these things. He is really bratty, he's very, very childish, he's very selfish, but he also is extremely vulnerable. I mean, you know, when I was writing this, this whole idea of him sitting there with his champagne, and he has no one to share it with, this promotion... You know, to me, even though I wrote it, it really got to me, you know, how lonely he is in a lot of respects. And even characters like that, they do have their moments of loneliness and vulnerability, and it makes them much more interesting if you show those moments. And, of course, JK Rowling did that in the sixth book, with, you know- in the bathroom scene with him sobbing, but that's like it. In a six-book series, you don't see anything more vulnerable of Draco Malfoy than it. And I understand this is from Harry's point of view and it's very limited, but still, he is far more interesting now, at the end of the sixth book, than he was up 'til now.

Emma: One of the other themes that was running through that fic was this supposed hatred that Harry and Draco had for each other, and that every time they saw each other, they would pummel each other. And every other character in this story knew that this really meant that they were into each other, and Harry and Draco didn't really know it, but their friends were telling them this. And I read that - and I don't know if you did this intentionally - but I read that as a commentary on fanon cliches of Harry/Draco, where they hate each other, hate each other and all along it really means that they really are secretly into each other.

Pir8: That definitely was a parody. I mean, because it really, you know- realistically, these two would never have anything in common. You know, slash is not rational, but you know, it's fun. I mean, these two characters who are pitted against each other, I mean, the tension- as a writer, that's what's so great about writing Harry and Draco, is because the tension they're able to produce. You know, and so yea, this fic was a parody about that.

Recs and Reviews

When I started reading Bite Me, Hate Memes, it became an instant favourite of mine. The thing, it has exactly the sort of Draco I love. Snarky, bitch (God, he complains so funny!), stubborn, dramatic, loyal crazy and sexy as hell.

And Harry, too! Patient, loving, omg clueless and oblivious and sexy as hell.

BMHM, is how they got together. It's lovely and funny and super sweet. And sexy beyond words. And BMHM, The Wedding is that, the wedding, or rather Draco having a bit of a breakdown before it, which will make your heart melt all over.

It's got plenty of side-parings too. There's Pansy/Blaise/Draco (they have a threesome on the first part before Harry came into the picture, so it's okay—and oh god, so hot!), then Pansy/Ron (I know!) and Blaise/Narcissa (I KNOW, and it's awesome!).

This fic is super entertaining and sweet and so crazy, and has everything I love in a Harry/Draco fic.

-- capitu, 2012 

I just love the whole overall plot of this fic, that Draco falls in love with Harry by Draco feeling the need to tell Potter that he hates him more than anyone else. I mean he says he hates Harry, but he knows his favorite drink fx? Oh baby, you little weird sunshine.

‘What was it about slender brunets that made Draco’s nuts tingle in the most delicious way? This man was nearly perfect. Tall, slender, with a shock of black hair, glasses, an arse that was absolutely begging to be squeezed. Nothing like that blind-and-ugly-to-boot-Potter.’ - Yeah Draco, that’s nothing like Harry at all. I don’t know what Blaise and Pansy is all on about, they’re nuts, you’re right.

It’s great how different the characters can be while still being amazing and quite canon. I’m absolutely in love with this Draco but I wouldn’t be able to spend more than 5 minutes in the same room with him without going completely insane haha.

Be aware, I guess, of Blaise/Draco/Pansy relationship. It’s not a romantic relationship, but more of comfort and three friends just having sex together because they can ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Their relationship is so beautiful though, how they take care of each other, look out for each other and seriously props to Blaise and Pansy for being able to deal with Draco all the time.

Just a few one liners-ish from this pain-in-the-arse Draco Malfoy, because why not?

‘He Accio’d two champagne flutes, because he really did hate Potter, but he wasn’t rude, and you didn’t openly drink without offering someone something as well’ - Suuuuuuure…

‘"God, who knew childbirth was so wet! You’d think they do something about that.“’ - Only Draco would say something like this.

With that I’ll demand you to read this fic, which is humorous, all over the place, with stunning main and side characters, plus it sucked me in so much that I was 20 minutes late for work. Totally worth it.

-- ferretlovesscarhead, 2016 

This fic is a Slytherin triumph. Our favorite gang is brilliantly written and Draco’s rambling POV is witty, hilarious and so charming. I had a blast being inside his chaotic mind, following every moment of madness, want, outrage and vulnerability. Kudos to one adorable Harry and their intense relationship with lots of cuddling but they still HATE EACH OTHER OKAY 😂 let’s be honest, denial has never been this cute! This was the first fic that made me consider Pansy/Ron as a solid ship and Draco/Blaise/Pansy as a comfort triad, their dynamics are soft and fascinating. If you’re looking for a fun ride and a refreshing take on these characters, I can’t rec this fic enough!

[...]

Whenever someone asks me for Silver Trio and/or humor recs my mind goes straight to this fic which is another old gem written back in 2008. To think it took me so long to read Ron/Pansy and Silver Trio comfort sex but they’ve always been here! I still can’t believe this fic doesn’t have more comments, Draco’s ridiculous and brilliant voice is addictive and I bet you’ll love not only his hot & cold dynamics with Harry, but also his charming relationship with every side character. I guarantee this brand of crack will save any shitty day ;) enjoy!

-- sitp-recs, 2020–2021 

This is my go-to rec, always and forever. It’s fucking funny. Like. Laugh out loud funny, which is very difficult to pull off in fiction. Draco’s running internal monologue, the way he’s “too much” for his friends but just enough for Harry, the Hermione & Draco friendship, the background Ron/Pansy, and of course, the giant scrolls of anon hate tacked up in the Ministry Atrium like the magical version of the Burn Book make this one of my favorite stories I’ve ever read and one of my biggest recs to anyone wanting a drarry story that’s a little bit off-beat.

-- calypsotempete, 2021