And Baby Makes Five

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Star Trek VOY Fanfiction
Title: And Baby Makes Five
Author(s): Seema
Date(s): 2002
Length:
Genre: het
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
External Links: And Baby Makes Five on FFN

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And Baby Makes Five is a Star Trek: VOY Janeway/Chakotay story by Seema.

It was nominated for a 2002 ASC Award.

Reactions and Reviews

And Baby Makes Five is hilarious! I don't know when I've laughed out loud this much at a Janway/Chakotay story! Seema proves here that she can go from serious J/C fic to humor without missing a beat. Tom Paris was the perfect commentator on the blessed event . And Seema captured every possible low moment of the event, ROFL! And she did it while nicely skewering some fanfic cliches! I think the send up of poor Chakotay, and Harry to the rescue were my favorites. Although the image of pregnant and moody Janeway sitting in her chair with very sharp and pointed needles is not one that's soon going to leave me! Well done! [1]
This has got to be the most hysterical Janeway pregnancy story ever written. Seema doesn't miss a beat in skewering every single cliche of the genre, and then some. Wonderful images and phrases, all through the eyes of that hapless narrator, Tom Paris. [2]
I normally avoid Janeway-pregnancy stories at all costs. But because this one was by Seema. . .anyway, I read it, and I'm not sorry. Seema nicely walks the fine line between plausibility and parody. On one level, the story reads exactly like many seriously-intended preggers stories, but then. . .I laughed aloud at the babies' names, and at the line that I think perfectly sums up the pregnant Janeway: "Janeway could be found on the Bridge, seated in her chair, knitting baby clothes with very sharp and pointed needles." [3]
This gives us a tour through every pregnancy cliche there is to the tenth power--and I love it! If B'Elanna made a formidably grumpy mother-to-be one can only imagine what Janeway would be like (Especially one cut off from her coffee!). Loved the line about the crew not being sure the pregnancy didn't last nine years instead of months. I had to laugh at Tom Paris' thought that though he had participated in making babies, he had never stayed around before to deliver them. And at Tom's observation that if the expectant father's hand had been anywhere near, Janeway would have bitten it off. The story had lots of those LOL moments, (especially a bit about a tattoo...) and more than one surprise. I enjoyed "And Baby Makes Five" thoroughly from beginning to end. How after all can you resist a story that even provides a link to Paul Anka's "Having My Baby?" [4]
Seema shows why she is one of the best there is. This story is a parody to those who see it, a happy babyfic for those who don't. I find it LOL funny. [5]
This story is insanely funny. From Chakotay whispering "akoochemoya" in Janeway's ear to the EMH withholding vital information to the triple-breasted whor--I mean, Kon'Aia, this story was a chuckle a minute. Once the red alert began, I couldn't stop laughing. The tattoo alone was priceless. You haven't read babyfic until you've read And Baby Makes Five. [6]
This is hilarious! Your Chakotay almost had me falling off the chair a couple of times, not to mention the names of those poor babies. Chaka Kahn! *g* Wonderful. [7]
ROTFL! Seema deftly skewers every cliche of the pregnant Janeway genre. I wouldn't want to get too close to the captain and those knitting needles, either! [8]
Subtlety in spoofing gets bonus points from me. Loved the baby names, the sharp pointy knitting needles, Chakotay's denseness, and the Doctor's ... well, I guess he was pretty much in character. And Harry's pitch for a promotion. V. funny. [9]

References

  1. Djinn This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  2. Rocky This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  3. Kelly Chambliss This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  4. Rabble Rouser This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  5. Penny Proctor This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  6. Jemima This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  7. Elise This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  8. Ventura33 This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay
  9. Lori This is the Digest from 2002 for the Category of: Janeway/Chakotay