The Murder of Tea Leoni

Fanfiction
Title:	The Murder of Tea Leoni
Author(s):	Agent Dare/Dare Rowan
Date(s):	May 7, 1997
Length:
Genre(s):	X-Files RPF
Fandom(s):	X-Files RPF
Relationship(s):
External Links:	posted at alt.tv.x-files.creative
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The Murder of Tea Leoni is an early X-Files RPF story by Agent Dare/Dare Rowan.

For other examples of similar fic, see Some Examples of Early X-Files RPF.

Author's Notes

"SPOILERS: To real life

Summary: My little Rant and Rave about DD's marriage to Tea Leoni, which I don't like not because of DD getting married (like there was a chance in hell *I'd* ever meet with him, much less marry him) but because I just can't stand Tea. Perry was much cooler than her!

WARNING: Bad parody of "The Graduate" and some bad words and violence, so its rated a horrible PG.

DO NOT ARCHIVE this piece of crap! It was written in about 8 minutes so excuse the lack of plot, typos, and anything else that might suck!

NO FEEDBACK WANTED....I'm just blowing off steam!...

Once again, All the Best to David and Tea, and may it last a few days longer than Shannon Dougherty's marriage."

Similar Stories

The Murder of Tea Leoni (1997), Raping David Duchovny (2000), and Homewrecker (2000) are three poorly written, possibly purposely provocative stories cited many times by early fans as to why actorfic was immoral, distasteful, and wrong. Some fans consider them as part of a straw man fallacy; a reference to them distorts other fans' actual positions and substitutes these stories as distorted, exaggerated or misrepresented examples of RPF fiction.

The Murder of Tea Leoni is an early X-Files RPF story by Agent Dare.

The author wrote: "The whole point of the story was that it was a parody of the reactions of people who like to bash the girlfriends. I don't think she should be bashed either. Just wanted to clear that up in case people still think i am a psycho murderer :)"

Reactions and Reviews

I may be alone, but I really think you crossed the line with this one. This hysterical reaction to a *stranger* getting married has me puzzled.

Does The Murder of Tea Leoni go too far in regards to fanfic? Did you find it humorous or in bad taste? Feel free to write humorous fanfic in retaliation. Maybe someone out there could write a story in which Leoni murders Agent Dare! That could be fun! Or just do a good old fashioned catfight short story between them, then have Duchovny leave them both for Kyle Maclaughlin. Use your imagination. The funnier the better, but I'll take serious stuff too. =)

I feel DD is an overrated, overhyped actor, with little range, however that is my opinion of his WORK, not of the person. I have no opinion beyond that because I DON'T KNOW THE MAN.

Robin Williams once cracked a joke in a Comic Relief that I feel is very appropo to place here. He was talking about how there were Christian zealots picketing 'The Last Temptation of Christ' movie when it came out. One of the picket signs said, "That movie is not real." To which Robin replied, "hate to break it to ya, Sparky. No movie is real."

I must admit the shock value of "The Murder of Tea Leoni" hit me kinda square too, but it's just fanfic. FICTION by a FAN. I'm thankful that Dare shared it with us.

In fact I think it should be archived under the humor section. I doubt Dare's the only fan that feels that way. Personally I think Duchovny made a good choice, but that's my opinion, isn't it? I wish him the best of luck. Marriage can be alot of fun....Anyone who takes this thing personally should also lighten up. Sticks and stones, Maya. Sticks and stones. In fact I bet IF Duchovny ever frequented this ng and saw that story, he'd probably get a good laugh out of it. Interviews with him indicate he's got a very dry wit, perhaps the ONLY thing he and Mulder actually have in common. He'd get a kick out of it. [snipped] Who knows? If Agent Dare didn't have SOME place to express herself regarding these feelings, she might have actually freaked and started stalking Leoni. However, taking the time necessary to churn out that story and post it up here was like counting to ten. She got it out of her system and can go back to her job as a postal worker or whatever she does IRL, and nobody got killed.

I'm being facetious, but there might be someone ELSE out there who's less together than Dare, and they might NEED a release of some sort to keep from becoming the next John Hinckley. Remember he tried to kill Reagan to impress Jodie Foster. If there had been an active "alt.movies.Jodie-foster.creative" out there in the middle eighties, maybe Brady could still use his legs today. You never know. =)

Just for the record -- I am NOT a sister of Maya's, but I DO think this story was not in good taste. I understand that the author meant it as humor, and while it's possible that she's a potential crazed stalker, I doubt it. But if I were Tea's husband -- or husband, or friend, or for that matter Tea herself -- and I saw the title of this thread, I'd be having a heart attack 'round about now. And the story would've freaked me out big time. After all, Tea is NOT a fictional character.