Old Pain, New Memories

Fanfiction
Title:	Old Pain, New Memories
Author(s):	Judith Medina
Date(s):	January 1, 1997
Length:
Genre(s):	het
Fandom(s):	Star Trek: TNG
Relationship(s):
External Links:	The ASCE Archive (http://aviary.share.net/~alara/index9.html), Trekiverse
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"Old Pain, New Memories " is a Star Trek: TNG Picard/Crusher, Picard/Troi story by Judith Medina.

Summary

"After the Borg Incident, Jean-Luc's recovery is hampered by nightmares and self-doubt. But he finds help from Counselor Troi... and acceptance of his frailties by Beverly Crusher.

Reactions and Reviews

When Judith Medina posted her backlist of stories to ASCEM, I was intrigued by one of the stories she listed. I'm a sucker for Picard hurt/comfort stories, and I am, odd as this may sound to some people, a bit of a P/C fan. Plus this was a post "Best of Both Worlds" story, which was one more reason I wanted to read it. Oh man, am I glad that I did. A plot summary is easy: Picard finds that recovering from being Locutus of Borg is close to impossible, even when helped by Troi and Crusher. Why is it, BTW, that so many really good stories have such simple plots? But I digress . . .

Be prepared, this one reaches in and grabs your attention. Also, it's not a sex story, but rather a story with sex. It's not a omfortable story to read, nor should it be. Judith's Picard is a victim struggling to come to terms with a truly awful violation, a rape in every sense of the word. Through a series of eerie dreams, made even more eerie by the odd pseudo-machine language of the Borg, we see what pressures were brought to bear on Picard's mind as he was transformed into Locutus. At the same time we see the effects these dreams and memories have on Picard through the eyes of his crew, primarily Crusher and Troi, as they struggle to bring Picard back to some semblance of mental health. Judith also shows us the rest of the TNG regular characters dealing with Picard's recovery in their own ways. She has all the "voices" down perfectly, including a lovely conversation between Guinan and Troi that makes me wish that that friendship had been more closely examined on the actual show. The first couple the tension brings together is Riker and Troi, as Troi struggles for her equilibrium in the midst of the emotional chaos of not only Picard's recovery, but the whole crew's response to the Battle of Wolf 359. Judith handles the reuniting of these old lovers in an understated way; we have no idea if this is going to be something that lasts or is a one time response to the situation.

That situation is made even more tense by the presence of an angry survivor Remembrance Ceremony held aboard the Enterprise, and what small recovery Picard has made is set back by the man's angry outburst. Again, Crusher and Troi must watch over the captain and Crusher must come to grips with her fear that she cannot help the man she loves. There follows a series of events that lead to what every good hurt/comfort fan needs after all the hurt, namely, the comfort. The scenes where Picard finally breaks free of the nightmares and has the long awaited "talk" with Beverly are well done, gripping and intense. And the sex, when it comes, is what one would expect from these two people at this point in their lives.

If I have one complaint, it is that one breakdown does not a recovery make, and the last section of the story seems a little rushed. But aside from that one quibble, I have to say that I found this story to be intensely real, and found the portrayals of both Jean-Luc, and Beverly to be very much the way I see them. If you like good, intense P/C angst and complex emotions, and are sure that it took more than a fight with his brother to get Picard to recover from the Borg, this story is a must read.