My Life in Black and White

Sentinel Fanfiction
Title:	My Life in Black and White
Author(s):	Paddy Green
Date(s):
Length:
Genre:
Fandom:	The Sentinel
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My Life in Black and White is a Sentinel story by Paddy Green.

Recs and Reviews

"My Life in Black and White" by Paddy Green - an AU that places Blair helping Jim at Rainier during college days. The glimpses of 21-year-old Jim struggling to overcome his past and his family to become a man are painful. Plus there are insights into Blair's life as a young, smart non-conforming geek all alone in the world of college pressures. But, add a pinch of hotness and a huge dose of hope, and the boys find their way towards a happier future.

Oh wow, you've reminded me there of a story I absolutely love. Paddy Green used to be around LJ when I first started hanging out here, and was on my flist. Then one day she decided to take a break from it all, and never came back. I do miss her being around - and I totally adore that story. Fabulous, fabulous stuff. I always remember the repeated thought in Jim's head which threads through it - 'Blair is brave'. Just, whoa.

Jim and Blair meet as college students. And Jim's whole conception of himself crumbles on two fronts.

I know what gay guys do. At least, I think I do. Every all-American insult includes a reference: 'cocksucker'; 'shove it up your ass;' 'buttfucker.' I can't actually imagine the mechanics of it, don't really want to. I just want to have Sandburg on his back looking up at me. Beyond that, the details are grey.

Those feelings don't fit into my neat black-or-white world. I don't know what to do with them. No rule applies here.

I'm not gay, real men aren't. Gays are worse than freaks, my old man said so. If I said, 'hey, Sandburg, I think about touching you,' he'd lean forward in his intense way and start talking. And by the time he finished, I'd believe that black was white, white was black, grey was beautiful, and nothing was against the rules.

When this came out a couple years ago, it just completely blew me away.

I can honestly say this is one of the best 'Jim meets Blair when they are young' scenarios I have ever seen. It is beautifully written, and the characters are drawn convincingly with strong ties to their canon selves. Both of them exhibit such a mixture of vulnerability and strength, an intense protectiveness towards each other, and an incredibly profound sense of love which develops gradually between them during the course of the story.

One of the things I particularly liked about it too, was all the little canon clues that are in there. Snatches of dialogue, which emerge like little gems, and which fit so appropriately into this tale. It is like a series of in-jokes for TS fans.

Most of all, though, I found Paddy's story incredibly moving, and cried buckets after reading the poignant last line. I defy you to make it to the end with dry eyes and no lump in your throat :-)