Kill James Bond!

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Title: Kill James Bond!
Created by: Devon, Alice Caldwell-Kelly and Abigail Thorn
Date(s): Febuary 21, 2021 - ongoing
Focus: Reviews
Fandom: James Bond
External Links:

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Kill James Bond! is a James Bond movie review podcast and the alleged first and only anti-Bond Bond podcast. The creators had the idea for the podcast because every Bond podcast they came across talked positively about the character, something they strongly disagree with. The hosts mainly talk about what they believe is wrong with the movies, both from a filmmaking perspective and from a political perspective, and why James Bond isn't the hero he's made out to be.

In between episodes discussing the Bond movies, the hosts also review other movies, which became the main focus of the podcast after they were done with the franchise.

Podcast's Content


At the end of each episode, the hosts rate the movies with the SCUM-system, a rating system they made up for the podcast. It stands for Smarm, Cultural Insensitivity, Unprovoked Violence and Misogyny. Each category is rated on a scale from one to seven, although if the hosts feel that a movie is especially bad in one of the categories, they might give it eight or nine points.

Movie Smarm Cultural Insensitivity Unprovoked Violence Misogyny Total
Dr. No 5 7 2 3 17
From Russia with Love 3 5 2 6 16
Goldfinger 7 2 6 8 23
Thunderball 7 3 2 7 19
You Only Live Twice 5 8 2 7 22
On Her Majesty's Secret Service 2 1 1 4 8
Diamonds Are Forever 4 6 5 3 18
Live and Let Die 7 9 5 7 28
The Man With the Golden Gun 5 6 4 7 22
The Spy Who Loved Me 5 3 6 4 18
Moonraker 6 1 4 6 17
For Your Eyes Only 2 1 4 1 8
Octopussy 4 8 4 7 23
Never Say Never Again 4 5 1 6 16
A View To a Kill 1 1 2 3 7
The Living Daylights 3 5 4 5 17
Licence to Kill 2 5 9 5 21
GoldenEye 4 2 6 6 18
Tomorrow Never Dies 7 3 1 3 14
The World is Not Enough 7 2 4 2 20
Die Another Day 7 5 5 5 22
Casino Royale 2 3 5 5 15
Quantum of Solace 2 2 6 5 15
Skyfall 3 4 1 6 14
Spectre 4 2 2 6 14
No Time To Die 5 4 4 7 21

Kronsteen Rosette

The Kronsteen Rosette is an award the hosts give to underrated villains in the movies. It is named after the character Kronsteen from From Russia with Love, who comes up with a plan to steal a Lektor. His plan would've worked if the agent who was sent to steal it hadn't been bribable, but despite the fact that someone else picked this agent for the job, Blofeld still claims it was Kronsteen who failed and has him murdered. The hosts perceived this as an injustice and thus decided to honor the character with an award, which became a tradition from then on. Initially after the Kronsteen Rosette was introduced, it wasn't yet clear whether it was meant to honor underrated side characters in general or only villains, so good characters were also taken into consideration for the first few movies. However, later on a decision was made to reserve the award for villains, and the hosts instead invented the Goodnight Cross for underrated side characters who aren't villains.

Movie Kronsteen Rosette
Dr. No Puss Feller (Retroactive)
From Russia with Love Kronsteen
Goldfinger Oddjob
Thunderball N/A
You Only Live Twice Tiger Tanaka
On Her Majesty's Secret Service Grunther
Diamonds Are Forever N/A
Live and Let Die TeeHee
The Man With the Golden Gun Chula
The Spy Who Loved Me Naomi
Moonraker The Coffin Guy
For Your Eyes Only Apostis
Octopussy Gobinda
Never Say Never Again N/A
A View To a Kill Hard hat guy
The Living Daylights Sergeant Stag
Licence to Kill The Accountant
GoldenEye Ouromov's driver
Tomorrow Never Dies Guy who touches car for the third time
The World is Not Enough Cigar Girl
Die Another Day Mr Kil
Casino Royale Valenka
Quantum of Solace Mitchell
Skyfall The Amazing Teleporting Cunt
Spectre James Bond Himself
No Time To Die James Bond Himself, again

Other Recurring Things

Goodnight Cross

The Goodnight Cross is the equivalent of the Kronsteen Rosette for non-villain characters, honoring underappreciated side characters who aren't villains. It was added to the podcast in order to solve the initial confusion about whether the Kronsteen Rosette is an award exclusive to villains or not. It's first appearance is in the episode "The Man With the Golden Gun" and it's named after the character Dr. Goodnight from the aforementioned movie, who is the first character to receive the award. Dr. Goodnight is a secret agent tasked with helping Bond, but she is naive and severly incompetent, and as a result gets constantly dismissed and scolded by Bond. Because of this mistreatment both from Bond and from the writers of the movie, the hosts felt the need to honor her with an award.

The Pussy Clock

The "pussy clock" measures the time between a female character's first appearance on screen and Bond having sex with her. This is done to show how female characters are frequently treated as sex objects in the James Bond franchise.

"This reminds me..."

The James Bond franchise frequently recycles ideas, and when something that already occured in a previous movie in a similiar fashion happens, the hosts will point this out by saying: "This reminds me of that time when [...], you know, when I was the same guy."