Cross My Heart

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Title: Cross My Heart
Publisher: Nut Hatch Creative Workshoppe
Date(s): 1987-2002
Medium: print, one issue CD
Fandom: The Professionals
Language: English
External Links:
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Cross My Heart is a slash Professionals anthology.

It includes the first Doyle-as-an-elf work in Pros in Proslib or on the net (in the Descent to Humanity Universe).[1] It is a poem called "Sylvan Elf," and it appears in the first issue. It is not, however, the first elf story written; that honor appears to belong to El'Endu'il.

a flyer

General Fan Comments

I'm currently catching up with issues of CROSS MY HEART. Very nice romantic readings... like reading slash Barbara Cartland/Danielle Steele type of tales. The best of the series is the Rainy Days series by Jane, and Kathy Keegan. You really get to live and learn with them. I especially like the bits with Ray's gay nephew; how B & D relate to him and the boyfriend. [2]

Issue 1

cover of issue #1, JJ

Cross My Heart 1 was published in 1987 and contains 180 pages. Illustrated by JJ; plus photos.

From the editorial:

Words of wisdom? Well, gosh, there's a lot to learn about word processing, Letracet, glue, staples, paper trimmers and so on. Folks who have never had a bash at producing a zine would probably be astonished at the million-odd details that have to be Mastered before a zine of any description can be produced, let alone a pretty one. Once you've waltzed down this lane, you come to be tolerant of zine eds, whose projects run late...

Ladies and, er, ladies, 'late' is the natural state of being for a zine (and chained to the wall at the local loony bin is the natural habitat for an editor!), but I'm sure you'd have to be a zine producer to really appreciate this revelation. CROSS my HEART is just about on time, and we think it's a pretty thing... we learned about Letracet and glue the hard way! It's been fun — But don't even THINK the words 'second issue'. Yet.

First, we have to break even. Which is to say, we have to sell the copies in the box. Which means people have to refrain from ripping the staples out and circulating the text until said box is empty. Hint, hint.

  • Summer Thunder (Raven/Bodie) poem by Barbara Jones (based on The Hunting) (5)
  • Magickal Part One by Jane Magickal Universe. ("Begins the saga of Zax and Scully, based on Martin Shaw's film, FACELIFT. As in the film, Zax is part magician, part engineer, working out of a dressing room in a run-down theatre in an apparently wrecked or bombed-out London, "some years in the future." Add to this "our" Bodie, cast in the part of Scully ... a warrior, battle-scarred and world-weary, with dangerous connections to the underground army that is about to start a civil war against the "Numbers" from the domed city complex. Zax and Scully and "Names," and in this world the one thing you can't afford to be, is a "Name." The story is set before, during and after FACELIFT. In this version, quite obviously, Zax is left for dead, but ain't!") (7)
  • Sylvan Elf (Found on a Windowledge) poem by Jane (after The Descent to Humanity) (112)
  • Apprentice to a Pirate by Kathy Keegan ("Spoof on Gilbert and Sullivan's Pirate King and Fred in the tights.") (114)
  • Hunter's Moon (Raven/Bodie) poem by Barbara Jones (based on The Hunting) (120)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 1

See reactions and reviews for Ice, Wind and Fire.

Issue 2

Cross My Heart 2 was published in 1988 and contains 180 pages. Illustrated by JJ; plus photos.

cover of issue #2

From the editorial:

... as you will soon discover, the Zax saga is not yet complete. Blame Jane! About 25% of the way through the typing of MAGlCKAL, it dawned on us that if we were to put: all of Part 2 into this zine, we'd be up over 198pp, and that is suicide, folks, because extra pages means a heavier zine, and we are already at maximum at 180pp — that is, 90 sheets of A4, which tip the scales at 450g and cost about $7.50 to post (the bracket ends at 500g...don't forget, an envelope weighs 40g!) So, MAGICKAL was going to run about 20% too long. There were two choices — cut it (she did, and drastically, decided the cuts ruined it and UN-cut it again), or, take the last 20% and expand it, make another proper part out of it. instead of racing through the finale, make a big, lush extravaganza out of it. Right...

So, there has to be a third issue of CROSS MY HEART, doesn't there? This worked out quite well, actually, because it means my own new novel, AFFAIRS OF THE HEART, has a home to go to. That will be the other major item in CMH #3.

Some readers have been asking if it's possible to send contributions for future issues, but I have to say, quite regretfully, #3 is full, and we just don't dare make plans for any more than one issue at a time. It takes about four to six months to do a zine this size and complexity, and looking forward YEARS is probably a mistake. To people who would like to see their stories appear in zines rather than on the circuit, I'd just like to say this: what is a zine but photocopies and staples? Find an artist, and/or some photos, type your stuff, shuffle in your art or whatever, staple it with a card on the back — do your own zine! Fandom will be the richer for your contribution, and there is a lot of satisfaction to be reaped from doing a zine, and doing it well. The more the merrier, so -- come on, give it a shot.

  • Make Believe by Barbara Jones, poem (4)
  • Adagio in Blue by Kathy Keegan. An enormous rewrite of Jane's old story "Andante." A young Russian violinist defects and is the catalyst for love. (6)
  • One Day by Barbara Jones, poem (77)
  • Tryst by ARL. An illicit scene of deliciousness Cowley never knew about! (78)
  • Beltane by Jane, poem Dreaming Stone Universe (83)
  • Magickal, Part 2 by Jane. Continues the story of Zax and the anarchist soldier, Scully. The Magician lives, and the ruined city is a dangerous placxe to be. Crippled, ailing, hurt, Zax is on the run, and all he has left now, is Scully. It's Scully who gets the whole crazy company of entertainers out of the ruins and into the country, looking for a new place to begin ... and they find their way to an eccentric post-holocaust retreat where the company could have settled ... except for what the city fathers here want to do to Zax! Again, they're on the move—fast. (85)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 2

See reactions and reviews for Adagio in Blue.

Issue 3

Cross My Heart 3 was published in 1988 and contains 180 pages. Illustrated by JJ; plus photos.

cover of issue #3
another version of the cover of issue #3

From the editorial:

This zine is not to be copied and circulated: it is vitally important that the publishers sell a minimum number of copies in order to stay in operation, otherwise we go broke and close up! In order to do this, we have to have your co-operation. Readers have to get the zines from a friend, who gets them from -- us; and, also, they can get them for a friend -- from us! We thank you for your help, in not circulating the text of this zine!

Also from the editorial:

"Will The Nut Batch keep on keeping on?" Well, there has been a wonderful response to the 'help!' circular we sent out some months ago. People have been genuinely concerned about the survival of this press, and if the free circulation of Nut Hatch zines has not actually stopped, then it is down to a minimum with which we can all cope, when all is said and done, all we charge, when pricing the sine, is the cost of copying (10c) and about $2 extra for expenses: printer ribbons at $11 each, sheets of lettering at $10 each, and so on. So, The Nut Hatch will keep on keeping on for at least several more issues! That said —

"What are your next projects?" At the time of this writing, the 8th segment of THE HUNTING is being typed up. We'll get this out first — and at over l00pp, it's the zine of a zine, so you have to count it among the major projects! If you would like to get it direct from source, drop us a line; otherwise, write to your 'contact', because it'll be out and circulating about a fortnight after this zine (release date of which is June 6th, '88). Then — FANTAZINE, and for information on this special issue, turn to page 167. You talked us into it! A fourth issue of CMH is a possibility, yes, and would contain 'encores' to various stories such as 'Gentle on My Mind', 'Rainy Days' series, and 'Affairs Of The Heart'. This zine would have to be scheduled after the sequel to a MADRIGAL, though, so it's not going to be a reality soon.

"Can I buy the originals of the artwork that appears in the zines?" Sorry — no, but also, you can save a fortune by getting photofacsimilies of there. In essence, a photofax is an unbelievably high quality full colour photocopy which is in all respects like an original. It will cost you $6 — a big drop down from the $40 and $50 that have been offered for individual pieces seen in these zines. Just tell us the page you want, and the copy takes about a week. Colour art will come up in full colour b/w in photo quality b/w. Quite a lot of the pieces are in colour, esp. in the Raven/Bodie zine. Two MAGICKAL items are in colour, and two A MADRIGAL illos were redone as oil paintings (the B facing page 14, and the grown-up D).

  • Summer Kisses, Winter Dreams by Barbara Jones, poem (4)
  • Magickal, Part 3 by Jane - Magickal Universe. Continues the story of Zax and Scully in the future world of FACELIFT. The civil war rages throughout the wrecked city ... Zax is once again a prisoner of the Numbers, but the Chinese—long technical advisers of the Numbers—are watching, and when they support the Names the tide of battle turns. Zax and Scully are there to pick up the pieces, but their lives are about to take an unexpected new turn. Novel- length. (6)
  • Certain Feelings by ARL, poem (129)
  • The Importance of Being Raymond by Kathy Keegan. Doyle seems set to come into a huge inheritance. Should he and Bodie count their chickens... (130)
  • The Bluebird by Barbara Jones, poem (159)
  • In the Stars, by JJ (160) (non-fiction)
  • Sonnet by Barbara Jones, poem (166)
  • Paradise by Jatona Walker, poem - Hunting Universe (168)
  • Songs for Raphael by Harmony - Hunting Universe (170
  • Harpist by Barbara Jones, poem - Hunting Universe (174)

Issue 4

Cross My Heart 4 was published in November 1988 (reprinted in 1992) and contains 180 pages. Illustrated by JJ; plus photos.

cover of issue #4 -- this is the cover of the 1992 reprint, it is unknown if the original issue's cover was different

From the editorial:

To begin, as usual, a few words from the editor's padded cell. Firstly, you will see that the type in this issue is full sized rather than reduced. Well that is the tip of the iceberg. The printer is very sick and will be costly to repair, let alone replace. You may have noticed the missing left-hard-bottom corners of some capital letters, in the printing out of Part VIII of THE HUNTING, and then. Part IX was typed, not word processed — same problem, people. We ought to be able to get the printer fixed by time time it gets around to FANTAZINE #2, but if not, typing it will have to be. In the meanwhile, don't worry about not getting as much in the zine for your $$$, because if you notice, the type is closer to the top and bottom of the sheet, and since there are no lines left between paragraphs, there is only about 10% difference in the text you have to read!

  • Sometimes When We Touch, poem by Barbara Jones
  • Little White Lies by Kathy Keegan - takes place after Affairs of the Heart Bodie and Ray are back at CI5; should they be? (6)
  • Serendipity, non-fiction by JJ (81)
  • One Winter's Night by ARL. Short and very romantic fiction with a lot of good humor. (82)
  • In the Morning Calm, poem by Barbara Jones (88)
  • Yesterday's News by Jane - "Mystery, thriller, domestic, everything you expect from a 'Rainy Days' plot! Next in the series, #1 in a cycle of five full-length novels. A whole new adventure begins here, in this story set in the British Channel Islands." (part 10 of the Rainy Days Universe) (90)
  • Thou Art the Song/Rites of Spring, poem by Harmony - Hunting Universe (172)
  • Hunting Timeline by Jane (174)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 4

See reactions and reviews for Yesterday's News.

Issue 5

cover of issue #5
another version of the cover, issue #5
yet another version of the cover, this issue contains 170 pages
cover of the 1992 edition
flyer for issue #5

Cross My Heart 5 was published in March 1990 and contains 164 pages. Poetry, art by JJ.

It was reprinted in 1992 in an edition that has 173 pages. This issue included a two-page fold-out of Doyle as "Pan" on page 171-172.

There may have been other reprints.

[From the 1992 edition]: Upon publication, copyrights revert to authors and artists.

Reproduction of this zine without written permission from the publisher is strictly forbidden. First published in March 1990 by The Nut Hatch Creative Workshoppe. This edition, 1992.

This zine contains adult material, sex, language and violence, that definitely rates it for mature adults only. It will not knowingly be supplied to persons under 18, and an age-statement should be supplied when ordering.

Order from our Australian distributor, JJ, or via your circuit: ask your circuit librarian about group orderingi Remember, SAL mailing of big packages saves a group a lot of $$$!


Credits: Typesetting: everyone who could be caught!
Collating: Barbara and Andrea
Copying: JJ and Andrea
Medical adviser for Never Say Die: Fiona Garvey, RN

COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER: This zine is an amateur project produced solely for the enjoyment of fans. No profit is made, no attempt is made to claim-jump on copyrights held by the licenced copyright holders. Original situations and characters in this zine are (c) by the authors.

TEXTUAL DISCLAIMER: stories in Nut Hatch zines are written by non-English, non-American fans. Though every reason able effort has been made to ensure aocuracy [4], readers (especially British readers!) must allow for an error factor in the fine details, which derives from the authors' foreign location. If this error factor will spoil your enjoyment of these stories, please read no further!

THAT OLD PLEA TO READERS: for the umpteenth time we beg you not to duplicate this zine for the circuit. Also, if you discover someone doing this, gently suggest to them that they stop, because The Nut Hatch will get stuck with $1000's worth of unsold copies, and go broke all over again! If you would like to bulk-order for your group, circuit or con, please write to us, we would be delighted to give details in full!

Another credit listing for a 1992 issue:

Credits; Financier; Pamela R. Freebourne
Fiction; Jane; Kathy Keegan; Madelaine Ingram
Artwork: JJ
Poetry: 'Wally'
Collating: Barbara Jones and 'ARL'
Copying: JJ, Barbara and ARL
Editing; Kathy Keegan
Medical Adviser for Never Say Die' Fiona Garvey

[From the editorial]:

A slightly different look to CMH this issue! To begin with, the old IBM typewriter broke down forever, and that throws us back totally on the Star printer. The print is not as good as we would have liked, but another friend of The Nut Hatch has recently invested in an enormously expensive laser printer (hi Bernice!) and if we can work out the kinks in the software (cross fingers) we can hopefully sort out a way to print future zines with fabulous quality!

You will also notice there are no photos this issue, and this not without good reason. We've recently changed copy services, and although the new place offers the best of advantages to someone trying to copy "/" stuff (namely a little privacy!), the copier hates to do photos....

On the subject of art, 'test' copies off the illustrations for Witchfires, plus the Raven and Bodie overleaf, which I ran through last week to see how charitably the copier is going to treat the continuous-tone work... disappoint us. We promise you, here in the zine you get about half an idea of what the art really locks like. We are, in fact, so thoroughly annoyed with the way it's going to copy that we're planning to do negatives and arrange for photographic prints, at 8x10 size. If you are interested in ordering one or more of these, please write to us! A promise: the art itself is photographically vivid and the drop-out of tone and detail when you go to photocopy is heartbreaking. A hint: these prints will be finest quality b/w and would make excellent birthday and Christmas gifts!!

  • At Winter's End, poem by Wally - Hunting Universe (4)
  • Witchfires by Madelaine Ingram - Witchfires Series #1 -- In the latter days of the elder Atlantis the new priesthood outlawed high magic and the greatest magicians were driven out. Soran Beydr, the blue eyed son of the High Priest Ashtoc, has the dangerous duty of hunting down the witch, Raedal. But in so doing, will he doom his ancient homeland? What secret does the witchboy command? And if he dies, what becomes of the Kingdom of High Atlantis? An exciting novella of grand fantasy, thrills and romance from a new writer sure to become a favorite. (This story was later published as original fiction )[5]) (6)
  • Thanksgiving, poem by Wally - Gentle on My Mind Universe (57)
  • A Beltane Elegy by Jane - sequel to zine novel Falconhurst. An epilogue to Falconhurst. Return to the site of fear and torment on May 1, when Coven Albion meets. Bodie and Ray share a long-awaited event! (58)
  • The Found Poem, poem by Wally (66)
  • Never Say Die by Jane (Full circle: this is where Bodie and Doyle began, nine years before, but this time it's Bodie with a bullet in him. An old vendetta; new hopes; CI5 in strife; Cowley and Elizabeth; two kids in love and in trouble. And for Doyle, the worst time of his life as he plays a part Bodie played, long ago. After YESTERDAY'S NEWS.) (part of the Rainy Days Universe) (68)
  • North Face by Kathy Keegan. Doyle hopes he and Bodie can patch up the rift between them. The holiday and cliffclimb were Ray's idea. What happens next is in the lap of the Gods. (160)
  • Olympian, poem by Wally (168)
  • A Soliloquy for Mixed Doubles, poem by Wally (158)
  • Thoughts for My Last Afternoon, poem by Wally (159)
  • Re-involvement, poem by Wally (173)
  • Seven English Angels, poem by Wally (174)

Issue 6

Cross My Heart 6 was published in August 1990 and contains 180 pages. It contains art by JJ as well as several black and white, full-page photos of the actors.

cover of issue #6

From some author's notes at the end of the zine by Madelaine Ingram, in which she talks about the other three people who are her own pseuds (JJ, Jane, Kathy Keegan):

I want thank the people who wrote letters of comment about the first chapter of the story of Beydr and Raedal, and I particularly want to thank Kathy for having enough faith in the series to go on with it, though there were almost no comments at all about the second chapter, which appeared in Fantazine #2!

To the Artist, I owe a great debt. These illustrations bring the characters to life! If I'm choosing my personal favourite, it would be 'Raedal at the Gateway to Olympus,' but it's hard to choose.

I also own a great debt to Jane, whose editing of these chapters is invaluable. When I wander off the track, she gives me a gentle nudge back on to it...

And I have to thank JJ for lending me the Time/Life book in which I read about the legend of the Jaguar Kings of Central America. The legend actually does exist, and since a previously undecipherable language was recently de-coded, we have access to an ancient history that was once a closed book. However, the story of the 'Zhaguah' as it appears here is my story, not draw from history.

The next part of this odyssey? The Nut Hatchlings have threatened to chain me to the typewriter and stand over me till it's finished ... I promise it will be ready for the Christmas zine! (I know how much I dislike 'to he continued' stories myself, unless the continuing parts come out quick.

  • Black Velvet, poem by Harmony - Fancy Dancing Universe (5)
  • Prodigal's Progress by Jane (Following Never Say Die. Bodie's return to CI5 is not all plain sailing. Nor is the task he and Doyle are given! Steven and Billy are rarely out of trouble, but Doyle's and Bodie's problems transcend teenage romance.) (part of the Rainy Days Universe) (6)
  • Summer Love, poem by Harmony - Hunting Universe (83)
  • Silver Links by Wally. A shadowy figure from the past arrives in London. Bodie finds himself in a nightmare assignment that threatens his life with Doyle and his whole future. (84)
  • Bright Magic, poem by Harmony - Hunting Universe (112)
  • Mayan by Madelaine Ingram - Witchfires Series #3 -- Two Icari war galleys sail west to Jaymaca in search of an ancient tomb. Beydr and Raedal chance upon terrible danger, never faced before. What becomes of the ring, and drowned Atlantis, if they perish? (114)

Issue 7

cover of issue #7

Cross My Heart 7 was published in December 1991 and contains 164 pages. The art is by JJ, and the zine also has several full-page, black and white publicity photos of the stars.

From the editor: "A rare assortment of fiction this time around, fantasy, Cold War high-jinx, first times, romance and mystery."

  • Warlock, poem by Barbara Jones (4)
  • Green Fingers by Jane. Bodie finds himself in another world, one of orchids and tropical blooms, set amid the English wintry landscape. Here, Ray has made his home, begun to carve a place for himself in a world which has become a little difficult. (6)
  • The Girl Who Loved Bodie by Joan Enright (27)
  • The Night George Cowley Died, poem by Joan Enright (26)
  • The Angel of Rouen by Kathy Keegan. It's just a painting by a little known Renaissance artist, but two agents are dead, the KGB offered a fortune to buy it, and someone has stolen it. Doyle and Bodie don't know what they're up against; the more they learn, the less they like. Near the East German border, they have only their ingenuity and the mobility of super-bikes as tools for survival, with the KGB one step behind. (28)
  • Far From Home, poem by Barbara Jones (76)
  • The Unprofessional Writings by Wally: Dream Sequence, R.S.V.P., Lark's Rise, The Christmas Angel. A folio of short stories: hurt/comfort, Africa, friendship becoming love. Appearing here for the first time. (78)
  • Northlands, poem by Barbara Jones (112)
  • Power and Magic, poem by Barbara Jones (113)
  • Stormbringer by Madelaine Ingram -- Witchfires Series #4 -- Beydr and Raedal now have three rings, but Raedal is a novice and his life is in danger. Near death, he finds his Destiny on the barbarous Kelti Shore...and the Destiny of the sovereign realm of Atlantis. Ray Doyle has been groomed for the job, but it's not plain sailing. To begin with, he must safeguard his private life, and his intimate relationship with his former partner. (114)

Issue 8

cover of issue #8

Cross My Heart 8 was published in 1991 and contains 162 pages. The has art by JJ and several black and white screenshots.

The editorial is a full of the minutia of staplers and fonts.

Descriptions from a flyer:

  • Silence, poem by Barbara Jones - Silent Lily Universe (4) ("On 'The Silent Lily' and published with the approval of Susan Douglass.")
  • Sea Pictures by Jane ("Bodie and Ray have planned their anniversary holiday in Greece for months. The Spirit Of Jamaica will live up to her name and spirit them into the timeless world of the Mediterranean, for what should have been a vacation from trouble. But since when have Cowley's best been able to go anywhere without finding trouble? Not since they flew to Jamaica in 1984 have they been placed in this position, far from home, in deep water, with their survival very much in their own hands!") (part of the Rainy Days Universe) (6)
  • Atlan, poem by Barbara Jones - Witchfires Universe (7)
  • It Had To Be the Jeans by Trish Darbyfeld (... story taking place back to back with Servant Of Two Masters. It all begins at the farewell party for the retiring CI5 veteran, and ends ... well ... 'Being lovers and not being lovers is like two sides of the same coin, except that being lovers with your partner does have certain advantages!') (58)
  • I Just Can't Take You Anywhere, Can I? by Trish Darbyfeld (64)
  • Rumour into Reality by Natasha Barry ("An a/u novella with a difference. Bodie is a doctor, and a good one, which is what CI5 needs. His work with Cowley's department is by no means easy -- but it's a piece of cake, compared to wooing and winning of CI5's best street agent!") (78)
  • Bodie Blue, Doyle Green by Natasha Barry (... again, an a/u novella with a different twist. CI5 has a new Controller, and though Ray Doyle has been groomed for the job it's not plain sailing. To begin with, he must safeguard his private life, and his intimate relationship with his former partner.) (100)
  • Song of the City, poem by Barbara Jones (109)
  • Magickal, Part 5 by Jane (Anger in the Chinese Democratic Republic is swiftly, after the senseless, wanton acts of violence which took place at the hands of the Numbers of Centre-07. Caught between the two factions, Zax and Scully are pawns whose struggle to achieve great things becomes simply a fight to survive. Senator Hua and David M4327 are trapped by their own machinations and in the end salvation comes from a most unexpected source!") (110)

Issue 9

Cross My Heart 9 was published in 1992 and contains 165 pages. Poetry by Joan Enright and Barb Jones; art by JJ and M. Burns; photos.

cover of issue #9
another version of the cover, issue #9
  • The Mirror of My Dreams, poem by Urania - Hunting Universe (4)
  • Commitment by Dee. "Doyle's right arm swept out, knocking the carton and most of the things to one or the other side onto the floor. A bundle of pens scatters as the rubber band holding them snapped. He stripped off his shoulder holster and slammed it onto the table. "There. That's it. You've got the lot. I quit!" He yanked his jacket off the chairback and left the room, walking straight past Bodie and Cowley. There was a sound of breaking plastic and crumpling metal from the corridor, then the sound of trainers striding across the waxed floor. I'm going' after him," Bodie said into the silence which had fallen. "I hope he'll listen to me." His eyes met Cowley's soberly. "Whatever this was... was a bad mistake, sir." "Oh, aye," Cowley said quietly to the empty room. "I know that." He raised his voice. "Dr Ross, would you join me?" (6)
  • Pillow Talk, poem by Karen Mercer (51)
  • Stolen Moments, poem by Barbara Jones (52)
  • At the Unemployment Office by Susan Douglass (54)
  • Life Mates by Susan Douglass. A dark field; a remote tower, who knows how old? Two men share a timeless secret, a tradition bound together across the ages by love and a gentle bondage ... The blue eyes plunged into his inner being. His neck arched toward his lover. He felt the tautness of his skin, the throbbing of his throat. (60)
  • Promises by Dawn Light, poem by Barbara Jones (64)
  • Deliberate Provocation by Dee (65)
  • Small Mistakes, poem by Barbara Jones (74)
  • A Young Man's Fancy by Karen Mercer (76)
  • Promise the Earth, poem by Harmony - Hunting Universe (91)
  • Magickal, Part 6 by Jane. Senator Hua has resigned from his position with Central Committee after the deception and skullduggery which almost resulted in Zax's death. Tang has assumed responsibility for Zax's safety—timely, as feeling in the CDR runs hot on the subject of Deviants. Zax and Scully prepare to flee for their lives, but are due a surprise. David M4327 is already on the base at Eratosthenes, where mining operations are producing the materials for a fleet of vessels. F9895 comes east for biocyber repairs, and meanwhile Zax, Scully and Bob are engaged on projects which are astonishing ... and dangerous. A crater called Eratosthenes on the barren surface of the moon is an odd place for the future of the human race to take shape. (92)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 9

[Deliberate Provocation]: A very internal story - Doyle has to decide what to do about his feelings for Bodie. I tend not to go for very internally-pov stories, but Dee is always readable.[6]

Issue 10

cover of issue #10

Cross My Heart 10 was published in January/February 1993 and contains 165 pages.

From the editorial:

Welcome ... to the first issue where Kathy's sole involvement has been a long distance call and a disk with the text of a story! It's JJ at the helm, so if the zine has gone haywire you know who to blame. I feel like the boy on the burning deck! Bear with me?... ' A short word about Shawn's story. Bond Of Iron. This is indeed a bondage scene, but please, trust me! You can read it without a qualm. We don't print sadomasochism, and Shawn's piece is a guaranteed painless bondage game. Wait till you get to the last page, and you'll even get a chuckle out of it.

  • The Course of True Love, poem by Andrea Vyland (5)
  • A Difficult Windmill by Karen Mercer ("A short-novel about the struggle for gay rights, taking a sideways look at the police. In part based on Mike Seabrook's novel, 'Conduct Unbecoming.' An old friend of Bodie's seeks him out in a time of terrible trouble. But if, Quixote-like, Bodie tilts at this particular windmill, his career is over. Established- relationship.") (6)
  • Gone with the Wind by Barbara Jones ("Meet the Bodie clan. Doyle did—and (somehow) lived to talk about it! And then Bodie vanishes into the blue yonder, literally. A lot of laughs, before the bags-of-panic part sets in. A first-time story.") (44)
  • Happiness Is..., poem by Harmony (63)
  • Bond of Iron by Shawn Gedge ("A pair of handcuffs and no key; two flat tyres and no R/T. You'd be surprised what you can do with this combination— Bodie is game to try!") (64)
  • Power and Magick: Magickal, Part 7 by Jane ("A Zax/Scully novel, first half of a story so large, it must be presented over two issues. Our heroes are in trouble, and this time the whole CDR is in it with them. It seems the future may not even exist, and hope may lie with the Deviant's skills, the engineer's knack, or with the automata themselves. Don't start this at 11:00PM if you value your sleep. Sexy too!") (70)
  • Best of Enemies by Kathy Keegan ("'Revenge is a dish best served cold,' says the proverb. Enjoying this least of all is Cowley. Does the answer to the puzzle involve CI5 at all?") (146)

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 10

See reactions and reviews for Gone with the Wind.

Issue 11

cover for issue #11
another cover of issue #11
another cover version of issue #11

Cross My Heart 11 was published in December 1993 and contains 158 pages.

The editorial, as usual, is very lengthy. The first part of it address this issue of "Cross My Heart":

We're late ... but we're here, and there's an old saying about better late than never!

It's a good solid issue this time, with some great humorous material to counterbalance the serious stuff. Many thanks indeed go to Trish not only for contributing two gems, but also for helping to type this beast at the last moment, when some disks mysteriously became corrupted! (Don't ask me how; they do it all on their own). Thanks also to Shawnie, Karen and Lainie for their lovely work, all vastly different and all treasures.

Collectors note: Shawn has asked me to package and distribute a zine for her in '94, and I'd love to do this. We can't put a date on it, but I can tell you a little about, the title is Bound To Please - and with a tide like that, and knowing Shawnie, would you be surprised if I tell you that the stories in this anthology have a common denominator? You're right: bondage pieces. But I hasten to add, they're what we call soft bondage, a thousand miles from sadism and masochism. Some are funny, and if you liked either "Bond of Iron", in CMH #10, or "Dead Ringer" which appeared in Full Circle 11, you'll enjoy this!

The second part of the editorial addressed a copyright, misunderstandings, possible over-reach, and what appeared to be many bad feelings:

Unfortunately, I must sober up with a vengeance now: I need this space to make a personal statement. I've stumbled into a minefield and I want to try to stop the rumour mill right now. The Poison Pen Club has attacked Nut Hatch all year, I expect the toxic grapevine to go into top gear. If it doesn't, I'm amazed. This time, in fact I'm 50% responsible for what's happened, and I want to clear the air before things get complicated.

The short version of my case is: As local fans know, it's been my pleasure to share those lovely 'share zines' put out by Noel Silva. And here, I stumbled into quicksand. Like most (all?) Aussie fans, I understood the zines were indeed share zines. Like computer shareware, one can duplicate them as-is, at no profit, when original copies are unavailable. I was the only one with a copy; the cost to order from o/seas is frankly prohibitive. So I shared with my group. Unfortunately, it appears our understanding of share zine and Noel's differ. Unbeknownst to us, conditions apply, the very way this group shares may even constimte zine piracy!!

I want to state categorically, I thought I was doing right, I did not know conditions applied. The term 'share zine' thoroughly confused me. Of course I'll stop instantly, and my real dread is that I'll be painted as a zine pirate. Folks who know me would never suspect it. But Noel does not know me - hence, this statement. For her to be worried, something's on the grapevine already and I'll smell like a skunk if I don't move fast to mend things. This isn't an apology (yet): if I must apologise in print to fix this, I will, next editorial.

I've contacted Noel and am awaiting a reply; and I've prepared a statement. I'll send you a copy for the asking, if this case affects you in any way (ie., you also innocently share these zines, and may be a pirate; you got them via me and are concerned; you're confused as to what 'share zine' may mean; or you actually sent me one of these zines, and feel like hell because you might be party to the misunderstanding). I'm not a pirate. I possibly misinterpreted the term 'share zine.' Malice, underhand dealing, never occurred to me. I'm confused and concerned.

My worry? That the rumour mill will assault me. I was convinced it was OK to share. So, if you hear me called a pirate, actually advertising to sell (ie., for gain) zines that aren't mine, please get the truth from me before you condemn me.

To my Aus friends who've enjoyed the share zines: till further notice, I can't share. If you'd like my full statement, write in. [ Read some context and fan comments regarding these share zines.]

  • Venom by Madelaine Ingram (From a flyer: "A phantom from Bodie's past materializes out of a sunny morning, in the midst of a heat wave. A parcel; a venomous snake; a single-minded vendetta. Doyle and Cowley must discover who has tried to murder Bodie—but only Bodie knows why. His fever-crazed brain takes him back through the years, back to Africa, and he encounters once again the nemesis he has almost forgotten—a nightmare he has almost convinced himself never happened.") (4)
  • Sweet Mystery, poem by Karen Mercer (23)
  • Hearts Aflame by Shawn Gedge (From a flyer where it was titled "Hearts Ablaze": "Shawnie returns with possible the Greatest Mary Sue Parody of our time. Meet Jesse Fairbanks, the idol and darling of all agents, both genders, at CI5. He's tall, he's built, he's blond, he's brilliant, and he's laying his life (and his virtue) on the line for the sake of a young captive, in a story that endangers your ribs!" Author's note in the zine itself: "Let me apologise before I start this story. 'Mary-Sue' is an old, revered tradition in fandom. It's a ritual! I'd wanted to write this story for years; this (male) Mary-Sue's name is Jesse. Fairbanks, that is ... and to Mills & Boon devotees everywhere: sorry!") (pairing is Bodie/Doyle/Jesse) (24)
  • two haiku poems by Andrea Vyland (30)
  • Night Mists by Susan Douglass ("A vampire story with a difference. The vampires of this story are devoted lovers and their lives have been long and happy $ until a character called Phillip Mark arrives. And the night mists thicken ...") (31)
  • Fragments, the anatomy of a romance, poem by Barbara Jones (37)
  • Cuisine Tres Unauthentique and Food Fight!!! by Trish Darbyfeld ("Two 'food fantasies' from a writer whose rib-tickling sense of humor is always much appreciated. These stories are perrrrfect for those of us who are on diets, and who, frustrated, just long to throw food at the ceiling!") (38 and 41)
  • Mystique, poem by Shawn Gedge (40)
  • Five Toons by Karen Eaton (44)
  • Cliches Apart..., poem by Harmony (49)
  • Old Shades, New Loves, poem by Barbara Jones (49)
  • Ravensong, poem by Barbara Jones (49)
  • Nightfire, poem by Karen Mercer (49)
  • Haikus for Morning, poem Andrea Vyland (49)
  • Power and Magic Part Two: Magickal, Part 8 by Jane ("The conclusion of the Zax/Scully novel that began in CMH #10. In this part, our heroes awaken in a whole new world. The CDR has gone haywire, and even in the colony of Tharsis, on Mars, there is a great deal of fear and very little freedom. Especially for those people who are about to lose their status as human beings. But Zax and Scully hold the key not only to the imminent civil war that is brewing on Earth, but also to the future. Zax's children ... Tang and Whiteswan ... Effnine and Farris ... all are part of the foundation on which the 'brave new world' will be built, but before it can begin, Zax and Scully must run greater risks than they ever ran before.") (50)

Issue 12

cover of issue #12
another version of the cover for issue #12

Cross My Heart 12 was published in October 1995 and has 166 pages. It contains no art, no photos. This issue contains Kathy's Keegan's last fan story.

From the editorial:

Welcome to what I'm sorry to say is the final issue in the Cross My Heart series. What, no more CMH Issues? Shock, horror! But why? Has JJ grown tired of doing them? No, not at all! But two things have happened to make me curtail the series right here.

First, and most importantly ... I just can't find enough stories to produce at least one of these zines every year. Very few writers are producing B/D these days, and when I do get B/D, it's almost always a/u, fantasy, historical or SF. And that stuff really belongs in Fantazine rather than the 'flag carrier.' Take a look at the content of this issue and the last two ... take a look at the length of time it's taken to find stories to fill this issue — and one of these stories is a crossover with Starsky And Hutch that would have been better placed in an issue of Full Circle.

Second, people are not buying and reading B/D as enthusiastically as they used to. The media zines are almost twice as popular as the all-B/D issues. People have just moved onto other fandoms, and this Is perfectly natural. But it makes it hard to fill an all-B/D issue; also hard to sell the same zine.

It was a tough decision to make, to curtail the CMH series, but there's really no other option. What I'm doing right now is sliding the few stories that I do receive into other zines better suited to them. The fantasies and SF will be in the Fantazines; the crossovers will be in the Full Circles, and so will any short B/D that comes my way. But long B/D stories ... well, I love to publish novels! I hope that some will fall into my hands. Hint, hint!

But we're also doing wonderfully with the media zines; the Highlander, Starsky & Hutch, Q/Picard, MacGyver and Blake's 7 stories have been among the most popular, and I must admit, I've had a lot of fun producing these zines. I intend to do at least two more. I have enough in hand to publish both FC #4 and half of a fifth issue; I also have enough S/H to fill half of another issue of Double Or Nothing!

A small progress report since I mooted the slash-media-vampire zine to be entitled Nightwings, there has been only very slender interest shown. If interest in this issue does not pick up, I'll slide the stories into Fantazine and Full Circle, as required, and cancel the zine. Three stories and two people who say they want to read such a zine isn't enough to actually go ahead with this. So hey, guys. If you do want to see this issue - write me and say so!!

All that said, CMH #12 is a wonderful issue. We have a great selection of stories ... and Kathy Keegan's 'swan song' story. With the long-awaited sequel to A Question Of Priorities she is bowing out of fannish writing, for the simple reason that she insufficient time to make and honour deadlines, or even to work coherently on a long story. This is something like 'the end of an era,' but the group wants to wish Kath all the best in her future endeavours. She's made a remarkable contribution to this fandom, and her stories will be cherished for years to come. Please enjoy this issue!

  • Reunion by Sonja - When Bodie keeps disappearing at regular intervals over the space of years, Doyle gets suspicious and follows him ... into Africa! (6)
  • X Marks the Spot by Karen Mercer - A classic comedy or either errors or Eros, take your pick. Thank heaven for happy endings! (20)
  • Cover-Up by Jane - Based on a true story, Doyle and Bodie set out to investigate a disappearance and find themselves taking on Britain's "nuclear police!" Their what??? Read on, it's all true! (32)
  • When in Rome by Barbara Jones - crossover with Starsky and Hutch - 22 pages In London on vacation, Starsky and Hutch blunder into the middle of a CI5 job, go head to head with Cowley, and discover Doyle and Bodie for whom life certainly is no cherry-bowl. (reprinted in Firesigns and Other Stories) (32)
  • Survival Run by Kathy Keegan - Affairs of the Heart 4-62 pages. The final part of the "Affairs of the Heart series, this full novel sees Bodie and Doyle on the run—in the Soviet Union at the height of the Cold War! (The author comments on this in a foreword to the story: "I'm a year late with this story ... and it's all my fault! To begin with, I freely admit that I write at the pace of a tired snail these days, and my life is such a muddle that often I don't write anything at all for weeks. And then, I can hardly deny that - probably because my life is an unholy muddle! -- I'm not exactly thinking as clearly as a good writer ought to. I thought I'd finished this story in time for Encore #2, and 1 was patting myself on the back, congratulating myself, when I got a letter from JJ ... as it turned out, I'd made a beauty of a plotting gaff that ripped the second half of this piece of confetti. I had to take it to pieces and put it back together again. While I always knew that was going to take time, I hadn't actually figured on being so s-l-o-w, and I owe everyone a huge apology. I also owe JJ something of a debt of gratitude, because she spotted the gaff before we actually went to press. So here I am with Survival Run, a year late, but better late than never! I wonder if I can coerce the reader into going back to A Question Of priorities, which appeared in Encore #1, and rereading the story before starting this one. Because this is a true sequel that picks up only minutes after the last part concluded. After reading the first part of this, someone (now, who was it?) remarked that some parts of Priorities seemed ill-fitting, given the rest of the story: that reader was right! However, when this part has been read, it will all drop into place. Honest! I hope you find the story worth the wait, and I look forward to your comments! Right here, I want to take the opportunity to pin a medal on JJ for the way she's kept Nut Hatch going, and the incredible 'look' of the zines these days! That desktop publishing software cost an arm and a leg and took a lot of learning, too: all down to JJ. Drag out CMH #1, and compare it to this final issue. Now, that is progress! In fact, unless I can rationalise my life, this may be my last writing for some considerable time. I don't want to promise stories, because I'm never sure what I can deliver, and when. But ... it's been big fun, and I take genuine pleasure in joining the many people who simply watch out for the new Nut Hatch zine. It looks like being big fun in future, too! Best wishes to all.") (102)
  • Cross My Heart 1-12 Index by JJ (164)


Issue 14

cover of issue #14, Jade

Cross My Heart 14 was published in 2003 and is 220 pages long. Art is by Jade. It was first available on a CD, and then print:

b/d titles seem to be winding down. The fandom is in a lull, alas, and publishing new zines is a bit exasperating. We did CROSS MY HEART #14 direct to CD-Rom in an attempt to keep the price down, and/but sales numbers reflected the truth: most people who are still into Pros zines want paper copies, and hang the expense! So, the next thing we're looking at is... CROSS MY HEART #14... The zine on paper... The flyers have been up for months but, as you know by now, DOAW is swarming, and the CROSS MY HEART zines don't live here any longer!... If you're wanting the zine on CD, go ahead and order at this time, and yes, you CAN print out a copy, right off the disk. But if you would prefer the fully-formatted zine on paper, wait till late May to order. By that time, the paper zine will be ready. Make sure to be on the subscription list for this one... email Dave and in the subject line of the email type CMH #14 ON PAPER SUB. [7]

  • Why Can't We Be Gentle? by Darby Brennan. Told in the first person by Bodie, as if you're the other half in a two-way conversation as Bodie talks about himself and Ray, and their relationship, on every level. Thoughtful, thought provoking and charming fiction.
  • What Are Friends For? by Darby Brennan.The classic "first time" story in the old tradition. It all starts with a stuck zipper, and the story unfolds from there. If you have a genuine nostalgia for the fanfic that was being written in the '80s (when the Bodie/Doyle genre was at its most rich and welcoming) you're going to cherish this one!
  • No Longer Only Just Good Friends by Darby Brennan. Here's a story about trust, need, jealousy, awaking ... discovery and trepidation. And it's all down to 'Father'—George Cowley to make this one come out right ... or not! Another story which is rich with the nostalgia of the mid-'80s genre. If you love the classic 'circuit' stories of the era, you'll love this
  • 519 Is Down by Jane. Not long before Christmas, 1982, Interpol is co-ordinating a world-wide manhunt for a terrorist who bombed several targets in Europe, killing a lot of people and destroying a lot of property. But the man they're looking for seems to have fallen off the face of the Earth. And then he comes to light, apprehended and held in custody in the last place in the world Interpol would have been looking for him. He's literally on the edge of the world, and he's behind bars through serendipity ... act of god. He's in Adelaide. Where? Australia, but not one of the major cities on the east coast. The smallest city on the mainland that's still fully featured, first-world city, where a party animal from the dense heart of Europe can live the good life. Understandably, Australia doesn't want a notorious terrorist in any prison in the country: it would invite more trouble than Australia knows what to do with. And when CI5 is invited to come get their man—to identify him formally, take him into custody and get him the hell out of Australia—Bodie and Doyle are assigned the mission. It should have been simple; and then there was what actually took place when QF519, bound for Perth and a connection with a British Airways flight to London via Johannesburg, disappears off radar ... vanishes utterly ... 44 passengers, 5 crew, Bodie, Doyle and a notorious terrorist, and all. What happened to 519? Where could it vanish to? And more important, where are Doyle, Bodie and their prisoner?

Three major poems by Barb Jones:

  • AT TWO A.M.

Information about the CD from the publisher:

  • "over 300 reading screens;
  • over 400 photos;
  • six slideshows;
  • around 50 digital paintings;
  • three major video presentations;
  • eight bonus videoclips;
  • music and animations;
  • a silk-smooth Macromedia user interface;
  • and the CD is packed in a jewel case
  • with a color cover painted by Jade...

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 14

[From the publisher regarding the CD]: The print this story "button allows you to send a copy to your default printer. Your printer must be able to print graphics: a "daisy wheel" won't do the job! The software (the CMH #14 program) will address the printer, and will set it to print on high-quality-draft mode. There's no way to override this—sorry! The decision to print this way was deliberate. The copy is clean, pleasant, readable, reminiscent of the zines of the early '90s in print quality ... but it's not current "publication quality" ... it will also confound zine-pirates who would like to upload or otherwise publish our material right off the disk, because our hardcopy will certainly confuse OCR software to the point where the job of piracy becomes such a pain in the neck, who'd be bothered?! But yes, your printout is VERY readable, perfect for bedroom, bathroom or bus to work. It'll remind you of early 1990s fanzines, which looked just like this! Darned nostalgic!

[519 is Down]: Starting up again with "519 IS DOWN" in CMH #14, Jane is back working in pure-b/d (!) for the first time in the better part of a decade, and the "director's cut" of OUT OF THIS WORLD is the first work on her agenda (ETERNAL WIND doesn't count as pure-b/d, since it's a/u and involves a massive cast and a whole new universe).[8]