The Totally Imaginary Cheeseboard
|Title:||The Totally Imaginary Cheeseboard|
|Publisher:||Allamagoosa Press/Fanfun Publications|
|Author(s):||Jean Airey and Laurie Haldeman|
|Cover Artist(s):||Gail Bennett|
|Fandom:||Blake's 7 RPF/FPF|
|External Links:||Zine Info|
|Click here for related articles on Fanlore.|
The Totally Imaginary Cheeseboard is a gen 54-page novel written by Jean Airey and Laurie Haldeman and illustrated by Gail Bennett. It's a FPF/RPF crossover, i.e. characters and actors swap places in this series. There is an extensive reference to this zine in Textual Poachers by Henry Jenkins.
In the early 1990s, Jean offered the series to fans freely via email.
Summary from a Flyer
"A teleport malfunction causes Avon to swop [sic] places with Paul Darrow. Avon's experiences at a Blake's 7 convention are both hilarious and touching."
Novels in this Series
An extract is here.
Interior Art Sample
Avon with cat, Gareth Thomas and wife Sheelagh in background, art by Gail Bennett
art by Gail Bennett
Paul Darrow is welcomed back with a group hug. Avon with teddy bear is in the background; art by Gail Bennett
Reactions and Reviews
This, in my opinion at any rate, is one of the classic zines of Blake's 7 fanfic. The story is built around a teleport malfunction that causes Avon and Paul Darrow to change places so that Avon ends up in the middle of a Blake's 7 convention. We follow second-season Avon through his encounter with fandom, American culture, ice cream, shopping malls, Gareth Thomas, Jackie Pearce, Michael Keating and videos of the third and fourth seasons. The results range from the hilarious to the touching. My favourite scene is where they are measuring him for new clothes, and one highly nervous female fan is trying to figure out how to take Avon's inside leg measurement. The characters of the actors as well as Avon are well developed and feel right.
I suspect one of the reasons that this zine works better than other that have been written on similar themes is that Avon doesn't promptly fall in love with one of the fans. Another reason is Gail's artwork which beautifully illustrates so many of the scenes.This is an A4 reprint zine done from quarto masters suplied by Jean Airey, slidebound with a card cover. As it is a reprint rather than a new edition, I don't have the text on disc, so I can't post any extracts from the text. 
Special appearances by Gareth Thomas, Michael Keating, Jacqueline Pearce, Sheelagh Wells, Paul Darrow, Heather, Crystal, Cherry, assorted con comittee members, Chicagoans and, oh yes...Kerr Avon! Picture if you will - A scene so strange that it could only come from the tormented mind of someone who has volunteered for one too many cons, attended one too many Liar's panels, dealt with one too many guests.... A scene that takes you beyond the normal committee nightmare of no-show guests, takes you beyond the limits of our earthly sciences, takes you to... THE TOTALLY IMAGINARY CHEESEBOARD. What would the committee do if Kerr Avon in all his glory, aided, by an errant magnetic storm changed places with Paul Darrow DURING A CON? How would Kerr Avon react to Blake's 3 - Gareth Thomas, Jacqueline Pearce, and Michael Keating, not to mention fans, cats, ducks, malls and 20th century electronics. "CHEESEBOARD" tackles these problems easily. Jean Airey and Laurie Haldeman, both veterans of many conventions, have combibned a "behind-the-scene" look at "SCORPIO 3 3/4"complete with real committee members, with a well put together story resulting in a delightful romp through fandom. Their Avon is perfect, and I'll trust their portrayals of the real B7 cast. The situations that arise all become possible as you dream you are drawn into the fantasy. I may be a bit prejudiced about "CHEESEBOARD". I know one of the "characters", have met a few of the actors, and seen enough at cons to feel, oh, so familiar with the setting. I don't know the authors except by reputation but their view of SCORPIO 3 3/4 rings as true as fiction can. Be warned, however. If you are new to fandom, and have not attended any conventions, especially B7 cons you may have some difficulty with the situations. If that's the case, just take everything on faith. There are a few "in" jokes, but happily they are all in fun - no sniping here, (o.k. - Avon does snipe occassionally. If you're a Blake or Vila fan you will be disapointed. Blake is present only as a voice on Avon's teleport bracelet. Vila not at all. Paul also is barely present and no explanation is given for why Blake couldn't wait to send him back (perhaps Zen synthesized cigarettes for him) . This zine gets a PSG rating - share it with your Mom if she likes Avon. There's no "slash", no adult situations (measuring Avon's inseam doesn't count). The artwork is by Gail Bennet, need I say more? Some readers will find one problem with this zine - small type. I know people who can't or won't deal with reduced type and editors should bear that in mind when planning a zine. 
Avon finds himself at Scorpio, a popular Blake's 7 fan convention, due to another teleport malfunction; the character is initially highly suspicious of the fans' activities, confused by his encounters with series stars, and deeply disturbed by his viewing of fourth season episodes representing events sti11 in his own future. He eventually warms to his role as celebrity and embraces his fans. The story ends with the hope that Avon, whose ruthless violence and tragic fate reflected his profound alienation and perpetual betrayal, may deal with these situations differently now that he knows he is so beloved and has seen what the future holds for him if he is unable to change his ways. [The authors] include portrayals of program performers, active fans, the actors' real-world spouses, and the hotel where Scorpio was held. Their story exploits the "double viewing" practices of fandom: Avon is represented as existing simultaneously as a character on a BBC program and as a real-world personality inhabiting Earth's future.
This is the only Blake's 7/20th century crossover that I have read that is actually believable, as well as being funny, interesting and poignant at the same time. Avon gets swapped with Paul Darrow at a Scorpio convention; the whole story is written as a report by one of the attendees. Normally I think such stories are silly, self-indulgent, only to be read once, but this one I keep on coming back to.
The companion story "The Other Side of the Coin", about Paul Darrow's adventures on the Liberator at the same time, does not work as well.A sequel to both these stories has been written: "The Cost of the Cheeseboard" by June Bauer & Beth Friedman, but it doesn't stand up to the other two, though it certainly has its moments. 
i really like all the art in this zine, except the front cover. i admit i am prejudiced against montages in general, but i also just think it's confusing and a bit of gareth thomas's head is missing (and you can see the santa claus he'll eventually become, although he's much younger at this time). but the back cover is lovely. and there are tonnes of other really nice pictures of avon's face o_o if you like that sort of thing.....[snip] ....as for the fic itself - i enjoyed it very much. it wasn't quite as funny as i'd expected - i think possibly because it's actually a real story, rather than just 'wouldn't it be hilarious if THIS happened?? and then THIS??' it is, however, surprisingly sweet. you may have figured that out from the picture of a small child hugging avon, i think. that's the kind of book this is. avon is both slightly dangerous at all times and... deeply out of his depth and adorable at all times. i don't know that i've ever read a more vulnerable avon - it's really cute, without being totally out of character. (Read the rest of this informal review here)."
[for both zines]:"They both are fun, and oddly affecting. I liked 'Cheeseboard' better, for this is where we meet Avon, and watch him interact with a group of people
who not only know a lot about him (his world and the aired episodes parallel closely) but love him unconditionally. Avon is ported to a large B7 convention in Chicago, at which other actors from the series are also in attendance. The actors, who portrayed his companions and enemy, and 'lived' certain events, also like and accept him, and encourage him to make different choices than the series indicated he made (the intersection point is shortly after 'Gambit'). The fans, of course, accept him totally, and his minders especially work hard to make him safe.
'Coin' isn't as good, I still liked it a lot. Darrow tries to convice the Liberator crew that he really isn't Avon, really isn't a Federation plant. But he knows too much about Avon, and the Liberator, to make that an easy task. He also is too used to 'being' Avon, and only Cally (good ol' telepath that she is!) can tell the difference.They are worth the $6.00 Jean asks for them!"
Why this must be read: Another 1988, and another one that's quite famous - I assume it hasn't been recced before because it's zine only, but it's a zine that I often see on eBay. The premise is that Avon and Paul Darrow are swapped while Darrow is at a B7 con. Thus, Kerr Avon has to endure... everyone being really nice to him!!! When I read the premise of this fic, I assumed it would be a hilarious string of 'Avon fails to deal with modern life' incidents, and it is, but more than that it's a chance for Avon to examine his behaviour and his established relationships from the outside and potentially make different choices. It's genuinely thought-provoking and moving. Out of his own universe, Avon gets to be both more adorable (very excited about steak and clothes and toys he could re-sell in the future), more out of his depth/vulnerable and more terrifying (dangerous killer in amongst normal people) than I've really seen elsewhere. Vv interesting and plausible characterisation. The fic is also interesting as a historical document, giving a detailed and (I assume) accurate account of what a B7 con in the late 80s was like. And the illustrations by Gail Bennett are lovely. I uploaded a few of my scans to the Fanlore article, which is linked below. 
Among the few B7 tales I wouldn't recommend (where I can still recall their titles) is TOTALLY IMAGINARY CHEESEBOARD. I feel intensely uncomfortable with "fanity" stories like these, because I know the people portrayed and I seldom agree with the author's characterization of them. Sometimes she is too kind, sometimes she is too harsh, but most of the time, she is too shallow and inaccurate--particularly when she is trying to fit in as many 'names' as she can to avoid offending anyone by omission, and she
doesn't know these people at all. I don't agree with how these people I know would react in the given situation. I don't agree that the line between fictional characters and real people should be overly blurred, because many misguided fans already have a problem with that. Many times, such a story is done to avoid the trouble of constructing a simple Mary Sue in order to shoehorn ones self into a favorite universe to meet the idol. I didn't like this kind of thing in early TREK with "Visit to a Weird Planet" and itssequel, I didn't like this kind of thing with "One Way Mirror", and I don't like it in any other story. Just my personal opinion...it makes me squirm. 
I just don't understand why it keeps showing up on favorite zine lists. IMO it was terminally cutesy wutesy. 
Sorry, Jean, but obviously our mileages vary here. I found the Avon characterizaion and the look at how our society contrasts with the Federation fascinating. The end was perhaps a little sentimental for my taste, but overall this is one of my favorites to reread often.
- Subject: Cheeseboard and Coin by Nan E. to Lysator dated Nov 22, 1993:"Some time ago, Jean was making these available free via email. I don't have the address anymore but if anyone does, perhaps they could post it."
- from Judith Proctor's Blake's 7 site
- from Communications Console #1
- Henry Jenkins, Textual Poachers, page 173.
- from Kathryn A at Katspace, accessed June4, 2013
- reference link for Aralias' review.
- Subject: Cheeseboard and Coin by Nicole V. to Lysator dated Nov 19, 1993.
- from Crack Van, posted by Aralias, December 8, 2013
- Lysator, Leah R., dated September 6, 1994.
- Lysator, Jean., dated September 2, 1994.
- Lysator, Pat Nussman, August 31, 1994.