Phantom Pain (Sentinel story)

Sentinel Fanfiction
Title:	Phantom Pain
Author(s):	April Valentine
Date(s):	2001, 2002, 2003
Length:
Genre:	slash
Fandom:	The Sentinel
External Links:
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Phantom Pain is a slash Sentinel story by April Valentine.

This was printed in three parts in Warriors.

It won a SIZZLER for best novella at ConneXions.

In 2007, this story was the subject of fannish outrage when it was remixed without permission. See Unauthorized Sequel.

Online

It is online here in three parts:

• part one
• part two, Jim
• part three, Miracles ("For those worried about permanent injury, I've said all along that this story has a happy ending -- and it does. Fear not. It's science fiction, remember?")

Gallery

• 

  sample page as it was printed in one fan's custom zine

• 

  sample page as it was printed in one fan's custom zine

Comments by the Author

From 2013:

It's funny. I was talking about this story a couple of weeks ago. Someone asked if I got negative crit because of the Sentinel/miraculous ending and I said people didn't complain (to me at least) because that "couldn't happen" but because I let Blair get healed in the end instead of having him be a well-adjusted disabled person. I can see how it might be considered abelist to give Blair his legs back, but I stand by my decision because so many fans don't want to read about a permanently disabled main character. I feel I did justice to the disability and those who deal with them both negatively and positively and the fact that I used the sentinel healing miracle should not be construed to detract from Blair's adjustment to losing his legs. If I had been writing an original character, I'd probably have left him disabled, but given that it was Blair Sandburg and some fics had to have warnings if he had *cut his hair* in a fic, I thought there would be less outcry if I "fixed" him in the end. I have had people who said they only read it because they knew the disability wouldn't be permanent."

From 2007:

I know that some felt the ending of my story was too "miraculous" -- though if Jim could bring Blair back to life in the show, I didn't see it as something "magical" as the author of the alternate ending said in her #0 post to SXF. Others who LOC'd the story said they wished I'd not "sold out" by not leaving Blair disabled, as though I was saying that having a permanent disability was something bad. Let me say here and now -- if I didn't say so in the zine publication or on 852 Prospect, that the reason for the ending *I* wrote was because I know most fans didn't want to see *Blair* permanently disabled. It's like death stories, y'know? Some totally won't even read them, others like to write the angst. I wanted the angst of the first two stories in the trilogy but knew most fans wouldn't want just the suffering and would want the healing of both characters instead. I'm sure there are plenty of death stories out there that have "alternate" endings in someone's hard drive or bottom drawer.... Hey, at least you're all talking about a story I wrote on Prospect-L... maybe even a few more folks will read it now too. <g>"

Reactions and Reviews

After losing his legs in an accident that nearly rips their friendship apart, Blair relocates to Baltimore to somehow get on with the business of living. Jim lets go for as long as he can, then follows him. Most of the story was excellent, from plot and character development to the way the individual scenes were crafted. If it weren't for the ending, I'd fork over 7.99 for a paperback. The ending, while not sucking completely, went too far past my ability to suspend disbelief. Yeah, miracles happen, but this was too much.

Now onto the "gen" story! Blair loses both legs in a car accident and that's one of my big squicks - permanent disability. I also don't see how there's going to be a "happy ending" to it other than explaining it as a "dream" or something like that. Also, the fact that Blair says to Jim (under the truck, injured) I love you, stay with me - isn't pre-slash for me as I would say that to any good friend in order to make him stay lucid at that time. (until the medics arrive) - so it's basically gen till now.

The first two stories in this series are very short and not entirely to my taste (I'm not much of a vignette person), but you have to read them to understand what is going on in Phantom Pain 3, which is one of the absolute best epic TS fics I've ever read (with one caveat, below). Blair (for reasons that will not be explained for spoiler purposes) moves to the east coast to try and recover from a huge personal tragedy. Of course, Jim follows, but even more than the h/c and romance aspects of this story, I love the realistic portrayal of the challenges Blair faces and how he builds a happy and whole life. That said, April attached an epilogue to the story that pretty much invalidates the entire premise of the story *and* all of Blair's personal growth. While I still strongly recommend this fic, I also suggest you stop reading just before the epilogue (don't worry, you'll still get a very satisfying ending).

One of my all-time favorites! I'm in agreement with you; the first two are okay, but the third is really splendid up to the epilogue. Thank you so much for reccing this! *toddles off to fall in love with the story all over again*

Isn't this a puzzler? How can you get something so right and then ruin it in an epilogue? I was just stunned and then perplexed. Do you suppose her beta talked her into it? Or she really wanted/needed to write a 'sci/fi' aspect to a story? Or maybe she felt badly about damaging Blair or maybe she got piles of negative feedback along those lines and she added the epilogue? I am not a Blair healer type reader - I cringe at any and all pain - I don't particularly enjoy hurt/comfort as a genre and yet I totally got into this story... till the end. I am so glad you admitted in reccing it that the epilogue threw you because I was just plain stunned.

Honestly, I hesitated for a long time before deciding to rec this, because I was afraid that folks wouldn't appreciate a rec with such a significant caveat in it. On the other hand, I couldn't honestly suggest people read the story without warning them about the epilogue (which -- yeah, no clue. I'm leaning towards her getting negative feedback from the first two stories and deciding to add the epilogue before she ever wrote the third.) I agree with you re: pain. I'm a huge h/c fan, but I favor emotional hurt and I'm much more interested in the comfort part of the equation anyway.