The Child Within Us

You may be looking for The Child Within, a K/S story.

Zine
Title:	The Child Within Us
Publisher:	John Spires & Starbase M.T.L.
Editor:
Author(s):	Danielle DuBois
Cover Artist(s):	Michael Verina
Illustrator(s):	Michael Verina and Susan Armstrong
Date(s):	July 1981
Medium:	fanzine, print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Star Trek: TOS
External Links:
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front cover by Michael Verina

back cover by Susan Armstrong

The Child Within Us is a 51-page gen/pre-slash Star Trek: TOS novel by Danielle DuBois. The interior illustrations and front cover are by Michael Verina. Susan Armstrong is the back cover artist.

This is a Kirk-de-aged story and may be one of the earliest examples of de-aged fan fiction.

From an ad in Universal Translator #9: "A novelette... it will deal with the friendship between Kirk and Spock in a very different way."

Author's Summary

You are presently holding a story that has taken over three years to write. Fourteen drafts represent a lot of very hard work and faith in what I was doing. But I was not alone! Because I am a French Canadian, I had problems with English grammar and expressions. I also had problems with the length of the story. Luckily, I had eight wonderful people to help out, simply because they believed in me. They are: Judy Segal, Jacqueline Lichtenberg, Lois Welling (these three friends have literally torn apart my story at August Party 1979 ), Susan M. Schwartz, Donna Toutant, Beverly Zuk, Mary Jo Lawrence and Anne Golar. I thank each of you individually. Without your help, this novelette would not be what it is now. I also wish to thank John Spires for publishing my story and Michael Verina for having done these beautiful illustrations. I am proud to have completed this project and I hope you will find it was worthwhile. This is my contribution to the world of creativity; may you all enjoy it. Peace. Live long and prosper.

Interior Art

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  speculation on the different ages of Kirk

Excerpts

From the beginning, page 10:

Hours later - Spock was never really sure how many - he stirred and woke. Dazed and anxious,he turned toward the place where he had last seen Kirk. He sat abruptly, and his keen eyes spotted a still form lying nearby, dressed in the full size uniform of Starfleet Command. But this child ... This six or seven year old boy -- could it be his Captain?! Walking toward the small figure, he saw that Kirk - for it could be no other - was slowly regaining consciousness. Anxiously he looked down as the child stirred. There was a total silence. Spock and the child Kirk locked gazes. The little Jim Kirk's features were very much like the adult's. His eyes held the same determination and mischief clouded now by uncertainty. His round face sparkled with good health and vigor. Spock broke the silence:

"Capt uh Jim?"

Hazel eyes stared up at him.

"Jim?" Spock repeated again. "Jim?"

The child's voice piped back firm and clear:

"Is that my name? I can't remember ... and who are you? Where am I?"

Spock's eyebrows rose. Jim was truly a child - not his Captain but one who would one day grow up to be such. He remembered nothing of his past life.

From the end, page 49:

"What happened here is a unique thing. I'll never forget these precious times we had here together, Spock."

Spock's features softened. Kirk's words were reaching him, but his upbringing was too strong. He bent his head, unable to meet Kirk's eyes.

"Spock" Kirk continued gently, "why do you feel embarrassed with me? Is "I love you" too shameful for us to say to one another? If I had the privilege to tell you so as a child, why can't I have the same privilege now as an adult?"

Silent moments passed as Spock slowly raised his eyes. His Captain and friend spoke again: "Spock, I love the Enterprise and I'm not ashamed of it. Why should I be ashamed of loving you?"

Kirk looked at Spock's shadowy face in the darkness. His clear voice had touched something deeply locked away in the Vulcan. His serious dark eyes silently held Kirk's own expressive ones. The Captain's eyes now spoke as eloquently as his words:

"I wish I could recapture these moments all over again, Spock."

Kirk backed away a little. He instinctively knew he had said enough to the Vulcan.

Reactions and Reviews

This is a well written short story by Danielle DuBois, aimed mainly at the sentimental at heart. The story is set on a planet which is being surveyed by the Enterprise, The landing party beams up leaving Kirk and Spock alone for a few moments, then disaster strikes.

They are both knocked unconscious, and when they come round Spock finds that Kirk has been turned into a 6/7 year old child, who cannot remember who, or what, he was, Spock, as usual, feels he must protect Kirk from any dangers they find and the story tells of their adventure to find a place of safety until they can contact the Enterprise again. However, it is not as simple as it sounds as there is a hostile entity trying hard to kill Spock and steal Kirk, During their travels they, come across a creature from another planet which resembles a great lion with the wings of Pegasus. This animal helps save them but only after Spock manages to meld wth it, although a short time later the entity turns it against them.

Kirk's adult personality is still there - his charm as well as his stubbornness but as a child his stubbornness makes him more like a spoilt child who always gets his own way. Spock has to act like a father and at times has extreme difficulty controlling Kirk until the child realises that he really likes this 'stranger'. 'Spock constantly endangers his life to save Kirk, however, one time when it looks like he will fail, the child comes to his rescue.

One of the drawbacks of this zine is that although full of potential for an extremely interesting Kirk/Spock relationship from an entirely new angle it never really gets off the ground. I do not. know if this is due to Danielle being a French Canadian or whether her friends tore it apart too much. I would have liked to have seen the story longer and with a deeper relationship.

The artwork is by Michael Verina with Susan Armstrong doing a small illustration for the back cover. I like the front cover which is an illustration of Spock, bare chested, walking through a jungle, with Kirk, as a wide-eyed child, round his neck. There is also a drawing for all Kirk fans - what Kirk might have looked like as he grew up.

As I said above, a well written short story aimed purely for those who like a simple, straightforward, sentimental Kirk/Spock story with an interesting plot.

'The Child Within Us' is written by French Canadian Danielle DuBois and edited by John Spires, with an excellent front cover by one of my favourite artists Michael Verina.

The story is basically Kirk and Spock.stranded on a planet with the added twist that Kirk has become mentally and physically a ohild who neither knows-Spock nor his own past life, Spock must protect Kirk from whatever is trying to 'take' him and must also try to get them back to the Enterprise which is still orbiting the planet.

The ingredients are all there for a good relationship story which somehow doesn't quite come off. Spock can't relate to Kirk at all while Kirk comes across as a stubborn, almost self-centred, child.

In the editorial the author explained that as English is not her native language she had help from a lot of English speaking friends, including some of the well known names in Trek Fandom - but perhaps that is the main problem. The impression given is of a surface sweep - there is no depth to the characters, no probing at the relationship. Here the author has given Spock the perfect opportunity to learn about Kirk, and no matter how important getting out of the situation is to Spock, I cannot see him passing up the chance to learn more about his Kirk. There are several points in the story when you feel the author is close to delving into the relationship between the two - but she always seems to let the moment pass and at the end of the story I felt frustrated because I had read a story with such clear, potential which never materialised.

The story itself is well written has an excellent front cover, as mentioned earlier, by Michael Verina of Spock with the child Kirk. The remaining artwork consists of a few full page drawings by Michael Verina and a small drawing on the backcover by Susan Armstrong.

As I said earlier, a story with excellent potential which I consider was never realised and overall I was disappointed with the story.