First Time (Star Trek: TOS zine)/Issues 11-20

Issues 1-10 · Issues 11-20 · Issues 21-30 · Issues 31-40 · Issues 41-50 · Issues 51-60 · Issues 61-70

Issue 11

First Time 11 was published in April 1987 and contains 161 pages.

front cover of issue #11, Chris Soto

back cover of issue #11, Chris Soto

Nom de Plume - Natasha Solten (p. 4-8). (Humor: Spock asks Kirk for advise on choosing a pen-name. "Okay, so since his suggestion is not offensive to you, I still don't understand what the problem is." "I can think of no other names to use. I thought perhaps you might be of some assistance in this area?" You want me to think up pen-names for you?" Spock swallowed and looked uncomfortable. Then he nodded. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? I'd be happy to help." Spock looked genuinely relieved. "I appreciate this very much, sir." "Sir? That won't do. If I'm to be involved in something as personal as thinking up your pen-names, you can at least call me Jim." "Thank you, Jim." The brown eyes rose again.")
In Celebration - Charlotte Frost (p. 10-28). (Kirk is awed by Spockʼs gift to him, but is upset when he discovers that it sprung from one of McCoyʼs verbal jabs at the Vulcan. "Spock's eyebrows indicated his surprise at the direct question, but he answered easily. Because of your sexuality, of course. You are innately heterosexual." Kirk nodded absently, acknowledging the truth of that statement. But he was more interested in having his next question answered. "What about you?" he asked softly. "Are you . . . bisexual?" Spock crossed his arms. "If one were to categorize my sexuality, I believe that 'asexual' would be the most applicable term. While it is true that I have had a few sexual experiences with females, those occasions were under unusual circumstances." He folded his arms and shifted in his chair. "However," he added with lowered eyes, and swallowing heavily, "I would welcome the opportunity to share with you on any level." Kirk gulped. For an instant he'd felt pleased that Spock called himself 'asexual.' But with that last sentence, their relationship suddenly became very complicated.")
Enterprise Roulette - Angel C. Soie (p. 30-43). (To ease the boredom of a boring patrol, the Enterprise crew starts a computerized Lonely Hearts Club that has everyone on board participating. "Kirk had to strain to reach it without upsetting his balance. "Newspaper stock. Who are they slandering now? Or I ask, what are they printing now?" "Offering a confidential-coded computer-version of an old-fashioned Lonely Hearts Club." "Oh, my god! Enterprise's own romantic-roulette! What next?" Kirk glared at McCoy, indicating the question was purely rhetorical. McCoy waited until his captain had scanned the list. "Didn't you get a paper?" He well knew that 430 copies of the ship's newspaper were always printed. "Yeah, but I threw this sheet away." "Nobody else did. Everybody is participating." "I don't know why! Except for boredom. Surely all four hundred and thirty of us know each other.")
Actions Speak Louder - Sarah Leonard (p. 46-53). (Spock is upset by Kirk and Areel Shawʼs kiss on the bridge. "Something would have to be done. And soon. Spock moved to his meditation area to gaze into the flame held by the fire shrine. However, he was well aware that meditation would not help. He had tried meditating over the problem many times. His lack of success only agitated him further. Spock dropped onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Something would have to be done. Something. But what? he wondered. Perhaps the only logical thing to do is request a transfer. But I would need a reason, a serious, logical, believable reason. After all, I could not say that I have become insanely jealous whenever anyone especially anyone female has his attention.")
Friend, Lover, Brother - Jenifer B (p. 56-83). (Three years into their 2nd five-year mission, Spock begins to feel the advent of pon farr but fears telling his captain of his plans to go to Vulcan to bond "I did not 'abandon ship,' sir. I made a formal request as per regulations and turned command over to Mr. Scott." "Coward," murmured Kirk. The rapid changes of approach and the instant understanding of his motives had its planned effect, and Spock crumpled into a sitting posture on a low stone wall. Still, in his confusion, not totally understanding Kirk, Spock replied, "Jim, do you really believe I would ask you to my bonding ceremony after what happened last time?" Kirk answered with his own question. "Why'd you have to come so far to get bonded in the first place?")
The Hunter - Michelle Baker (p. 86-95). (Kirk, Spock and the other two crewmembers of the landing party to a newly discovered world begin having erotic dreams. "His voice stopped. He looked at me. "You really feel this way, and would be willing to leave me here, totally bereft of your friendship, without understanding, without even offering me a . . . what did you call it? A bond? How dare you take such a decision involving my life upon yourself. What kind of friend would do such a thing?" He was angry. Perhaps more angry that I had ever seen him. Fury bristled off his skin, which darkened in its reaction. His body was tense, fingers crumpling the innocent paper into a ball to be discarded with an oath. It dropped against a bulkhead. "Regardless of what you expected my reaction to be, you owed me more consideration. Owed me the offer. It is an offer, Spock, not a threat, not a sentence . . . certainly not the death sentence that you seem to feel it is. How could you do this to me?")
The Last Straw - Roberta Haga (p. 102-105). (Kirk and Spock argue over each otherʼs safety. "No, I would not. You're dismissed." "Sir, you seem to be in some distress. Shall I send for Dr. McCoy?" "Commander Spock, you have been dismissed." "Jim, I cannot leave while you are in this state. I sense that you are still upset with my actions. Surely you must see that I had no choice but to . . . ")
Rock of Ages - Kathy Tipton (p. 106-125). (Spock begins to rapidly age after the ship passes through an unknown energy wave. "When the dark hazel eyes turned to him, McCoy asked again. "What's wrong, Jim . . . with Spock?" Kirk spoke quickly in a torrent of emotion. "He's aging, Bones! At an incredible rate. It's like that time when we all aged, only it's not that at all. It's something the doctor called, ah, trala kat." McCoy's eyes widened as printed pages of a medical journal flipped before his eyes. "Yeah," Kirk continued when he realized the doctor's comprehension. "It's a hormone change that a small portion of Vulcans go through but usually much later in life. They age a hundred years in a few weeks and die. Spock has it.")
Venus Descending - Jenny Starr (p. 126-158). (In order to help Areel Shaw find her younger brother, Kirk takes a drug that makes him younger and sexually submissive. "I spread my hands in ignorance. "I thought Venus wasn't addictive. I mean, I know you have to keep taking it to get the results, but I've never heard of anybody becoming physically dependent on it." I looked at Spock for enlightenment, but his face shared my confusion. Areel was shaking her head. "You're talking about the old drug, Jim." "You mean there's a new one?" "Yes. Venus IV.")
POETRY by Alexis Fegan Black, Dovya Blacque, Sue Cameron, Susan Catlin, Sharon Delon, Theresa Hernandez, Robin Hood, Janis E. Laine, Roberta, Diane Seaton, Kathy Tipton, Deann Winter
COVERS by Chris Soto.
ART by Sarah Leonard, Chris Soto, Shellie Whild, Jackie Zoost

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 11

See reactions and reviews for Venus Descending.

See reactions and reviews for Nom de Plume.

See reactions and reviews for Rock of Ages.

See reactions and reviews for The Last Straw.

See reactions and reviews for The Hunter.

See reactions and reviews for Enterprise Roulette.

See reactions and reviews for Friend, Lover, Brother.

See reactions and reviews for In Celebration.

See reactions and reviews for Actions Speak Louder.

[zine]: Reams of paper are produced in the the U.S. every year and on that paper, dozens of fan authors and artists express themselves with varying degrees of success. One fanzine which always seems to compile stories and illustrations which reflect the best in fan work is the FIRST TIME series. As this zine has progressed from issue to issue, many fan contributors have grown in their art and still new talents keep popping up, there more than in other K/S zines I've read. FIRST TIME 11 contains a good balance of poetry and short stories many with accompanying illos by several artists. The work is also well balance between more serious tear-jerky types and humorous bits. Without question, the best piece in the zine is Jenny Starr' s VENUS DESCENDING, not because it's terribly unique in its story line, it isn't, however, her style of first person narrative is captivating enough to hold any audience. The plot is the well-worn venus-drug-on-Kirk-to-save-somebody's-butt theme, but she introduces some hair-raising scenes in Bondage and Domination bars in the gay ghetto of Boys Town. Doesn't sound like your cup of tea? Trust me, regardless of subject matter, Starr's style of delivery and her insightfulness into the characters make this story worth the price of the zine. NOM DE PLUME is a clever bit that any fan involved in producing fan literature or editorials is sure to enjoy. IN CELEBRATION offers some insights into Vulcan culture and Spock's interpretation of its meaning of friendship. The characterization of Kirk is particularly good in this one. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER and FRIEND, BROTHER, LOVER both use old-standard plot lines and they sadly do no do justice to the lustier side of K/S (which, let's be honest, is the main reason we enjoy this stuff!) THE HUNTER is a fun one, though probably not intended to be, I found it laughable in its cute excuse to get Kirk and Spock together. ROCK OF AGES deals with Spock becoming ill, Kirk's guilt and McCoy coming to temrs with their new-found relationship. It is rather heavy in places, but is short enough and hopeful in its tone, which smoothes out the rough spots. Poetry, I have always felt, was used by editors as merely a filler for spaces unfilled with pornographic art or sleazy stories. FIRST TIME 11 contains a poem which disproves my theory. THE BALANCE by Alexis Fegan Black could easily be a story; it leaves the reader wondering about the events discussed and wanting more. Hopefully it will evolve into a short story for the next issue, how 'bout it ladies? FIRST TIME 11 is a nicely constructed zine whose only weaknesses are a lack of art which actually illustrates a story, and a few "stand-by" story plots. The zine contains one strong story in VENUS DESCENDING and a good blend of poetry and stories, humorous and serious. I am continually amazed at fans and how the first encounter theme intrigues them so, but as long as it does, I hope the FIRST TIME series will be there for their indulgence.^[1]

Issue 12

First Time 12 was published in June 1987 and contains 157 pages. It consists of two novellas and some poetry. Interior art is by Caro Hedge, Chris Soto, Shellie Whild, and Jackie Zoost, and the covers are both by Chris Soto.

front cover of issue #12, Chris Soto

back cover of issue #12, Chris Soto

cover issue of #12, 3rd edition

Time is the Fire - T'hera (Stranded by a shuttle crash, Kirk and Spock are taken prisoner by the natives to by sacrificed to their sun god.) (4)
Looking at a Rainbow, poem by Faille (64)
I Wonder, poem by Rhea Gowan (67)
Desert Wine, poem by Diane Seaton (68)
Friend's Sonnet, poem by Diane Seaton (69)
First Time, poem by Robin Hood (70)
A Man for All Season, poem by Rhea Gowan (71)
What Cannot Be Cured - Janis E. Laine (Spock begins to enter pon farr just as the ambassador from a people anathema to Vulcans arrives on the ship.) (72)

interior page from issue #12, Jackie Zoost for "Time is the Fire"
interior page from issue #12, Jackie Zoost for "Time is the Fire"
interior page from issue #12, sample text
interior page from issue #12, Chris Soto for "What Cannot Be Cured"
interior page from issue #12, Chris Soto for "What Cannot Be Cured"
interior page from issue #12, Chris Soto for "What Cannot Be Cured"

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 12

See reactions and reviews for Time is the Fire.

See reactions and reviews for What Cannot Be Cured.

Issue 13

front cover issue #13, 1st edition by Caren Parnes

back cover of issue #13

First Time 13 was published in 1987 and has 171 pages.

Letting Go - Darla Michaels. (Kirk and McCoy return with Spock to Vulcan when his mother dies. "Spock," he said softly, "we need to talk." The Vulcan straightened up and looked at Kirk. "There is nothing to say, Captain. What happened last night was . . . was . . . my fault. I behaved abominably. I shall request immediate transfer when we return to the ship." "Your fault?! Transfer?!! Spock!!!!" Kirk was astounded. "How can you say it was your fault when I practically . . . er . . . you were in no condition to . . . um . . . . Hell! Spock, you were drunk and I took advantage of you . . . of your condition. The only explanation I can offer is that I was pretty drunk too. And that's no excuse. All I can say is I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?")
Obsessions - Pat Charles. (A female passenger tries to come on to Spock just as he and Kirk try to begin a relationship. The idyllic moment was shattered. "There you are." The voice was a desecration. "Is this where you do your paperwork? Not very efficient." She giggled. "Still, it's nice up here." As she spoke she was walking toward them. Without a word Spock turned and, going straight past her, moving too quickly for interception, left. "I'll get him, you know," she said almost conversationally to the stunned man facing her. "It's no use trying to protect him. I want him and I'll get him." Then she followed her prey. Kirk hardly heard her. Usually so quick to react, he was still groping for normality after the shock of the disruption of that exquisite moment with Spock. With returning reality came anger. This harridan, this spiteful, ruthless creature had upset Spock. His expression had been outraged and he would be ashamed of that. All of Kirk's protective instincts came to the fore. Why should that harpy be given a chance to disturb Spock?")
What Can Be Done - Sarah B. Leonard. (Kirk canʼt seem to forget seeing Spock being used by the Klingons and responding to it. Prequel: The Air is the Air. "It is my turn for white, Captain." The two men sat at the appropriate sides of the board, then momentarily looked into each other's eyes, measuring their opponents. His eyes are still unsure when he looks at me. Does he expect me to leap this table and rape him? Spock stared down at the board, then moved one of his knights in an opening move. I'll have to make the first move. Somehow I'll have to show him that I still want his friendship. Kirk lifted his knight in the opposite maneuver. Spock answered that move, and Kirk lost track of his worries as he be came involved in the match.")
A Dream is a Wish - Yvonne DeChine. (While on shore leave, Kirk persuades Spock to join him in trying “Spin,” a hallucinagenic drug. "'Spinner-gas.' An hallucinogenic gas." "Haven't tried it since Academy days. Come on, Spock, there's a cubicle vacant now." Kirk tugged, but Spock was unmoved. "Won't work on Vulcan's?" "Apparently, it has proven effective on all oxygen-breathers." Spock had quick-scanned the disclaimers and the list of chemical components. "It will not harm Vulcans. However . . . . " Kirk had heard enough. "Come on, Spock, it'll be fun. We never do anything together.")
All He Wished - Cybel Harper. (Spock offers comfort to Kirk after Mitchellʼs death, and a new understanding is reached. "I know. I'm sorry I had to kill him, but you're right, I had no choice. That's not the problem, not really." Kirk paused, trying to sort out his thoughts, to put into words what he was just beginning to understand himself. "Gary used people for his own ends, not just after our run-in with the barrier, but always. He used me, used our friendship to improve his grades at the Academy, and later to get himself promoted." He slapped the arm of his chair with a clenched fist. "And yet, realizing all that, you still hesitated to kill him, still regret having done so.")
His is the Only Music - Elizabeth Scott. (After unknowingly imbibing a drink that causes hallucinations in Vulcans, Spock envisions himself as a long dead ruler and Kirk his human love slave. "The barely formed smile shattered as Spock saw Kirk stalk into the room, his entire body trembling with fury. Red-faced, with clenched fists, he confronted his first officer. "Beating the shit out of me while you raped me wasn't exciting enough, is that it, Spock? Last night you had to rape my mind, too?" The bubble of sunshine Spock had carried back with him from the Cestus morning sputtered and died inside him. "Jim, you wanted..." "Wanted you? Is that what you're trying to tell me? You bastard. You put something in my mind to make me say I wanted you. Think about it, Spock. Why the hell would I want you? Why the hell would anyone want you?" Kirk didn't wait for an answer, but continued. "What I want is you off my ship. Got it? I want your conniving, perverted ass off my ship!")
Two Blind Mice - Brandy Amber Allen. (Spock locates a missing Kirk,only to find he was reverted mentally to a child, spouting nursery rhymes while they try to escape their pursuers. "McCoy broke the silence. "No, huh? Okay, then listen. You know nearly as much about life sciences as you do natural sciences. You go to Hamm. I'll be better able to cope with whatever Jim's gotten into. If he's gotten into anything. For all we know, his communicator may have malfunctioned. He may be dead drunk under the table. He might have found some woman who finally means more to him than this bucket of bolts. He may have just wandered off, hoping for a little solitude that, surely, he hasn't been able to find here. And if it is a medical emergency, who is more acquainted with his medical needs; who might better treat it and have it on the mend before you can have the ship turned around? Me, that's who! Now, why don't you be a good boy and stick with what you get paid for and let me do my work?")
Waiting for Rain - Jenny Starr. (Taking the ship from Spock after receiving the message from Starfleet regarding Genesis only adds to Kirkʼs depression. "Look at him! Talk about the look of eagles! Even kneeling in some mystical version of meditation I'll never comprehend, his head bowed in humility, he takes my breath away. After all these years. I wish I could be the man he remembers. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me. . . . I have lost my passion . . . Come out of it, Spock. Back to the real world. Your admiral needs you. No, actually, what he needs is your ship. He never really seems to need you anymore, does he?")
Play it cool. Strictly business. He hates emotional scenes.
POETRY by Sue Cameron, Sharon Delon, Anne Fitzgibbons, Jane Fury, Robin Hood, Janis E. Laine, Cybel Harper, Diane Seaton, Ciana Sepulveda
COVERS by Caren Parnes.
ART by Dragon, Caro Hedge, SBL, Chris Soto, Jackie Zoost

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 13

See reactions and reviews for Letting Go.

See reactions and reviews for Obsessions.

See reactions and reviews for Two Blind Mice.

See reactions and reviews for Waiting for Rain.

See reactions and reviews for His is the Only Music.

See reactions and reviews for All He Wished.

See reactions and reviews for A Dream is a Wish.

See reactions and reviews for What Can Be Done.

[art on page 159, artist: Chris Soto]: This illo shows Admiral Kirk standing over Spock, who is kneeling in a meditation robe. In the center is a larger Kirk figure. All the figures are well-rendered, including the larger Kirk, who is appropriately half in shadow. This shows that he is lost in memory. The light and shadow on the larger Kirk's face also balances in the composition with the dark firepot and the bright flame in the foreground. The smaller Kirk's light Admiral's tunic and Spock's dark meditation robe are balanced as well.^[2]

[poem: Festival Fire]: This poem stands out, not only because it's well-written, but because of the subject matter. It shows us a K/S first time in the midst of the orgy-like festival that occurred in the episode "Return of the Archons". This episode is one that is rarely seen in fan fiction, and placing a first time in such circumstances is a fascinating idea. I would love to see a story based on this poem.^[3]

[zine]: This zine came to me almost exactly like every other FT -- on time. That is a surprise and a blessing in this day of dissolving preorders. An in, what the editor laughingly calls 'mini tradition 171 pages of good K/S reading falls into your lap when you open the envelope. While this is not the most memorable of the First Times, it does have several stories worthy of note. The first is LETTING GO by Darla Michaels. The story involves the death of Spock's parents and the manner in which he deals with his grief. Kirk, of course, is a integral part of Spock learning how to grieve. The story is well written and tight. The second story that caught my eye was HIS IS THE ONLY MUSIC. Other than wondering where the title came from, I enjoyed the story. It was a little shaky on it's writing and I feel that the author is a beginner. If so, then we have a lot to look forward to. There is talent here. The story was a different approach and with the elusive plot. Kirk has some unpleasant, things happen to him, he blames Spock and the Vulcan leaves the ship. Kirk is left with an aching emptiness that eats away at him until he decides to 'beard the Shelat' in his den. The rest is wonderful. This story is illoed by Jackie Zoost who is improving daily with one of the best pieces I've seen of hers to date. The rich warmth of feeling in both faces of the two 'lovers' expresses what K/S means to most of us. TWO BLIND MICE by Brandy Allen intrigued me. Kirk loses his memory forcibly and is only left with nursery rhymes of his childhood to recite in an effort to retain his sanity. I loved the idea and enjoyed hearing verses of familiar rhymes I'd never heard before. The Kirk is a. sorrowful picture but Spock's efforts to save them both touched me more. There is nothing more endearing than Spock 'protecting' his captain, his friend, his Kirk. The last story that impressed me was by one of my favorite writers --Jenny Starr. WAITING FOR RAIN takes place at the beginning of Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan. It is a delightful display of writing talent and a complete success. It is not just another K/S story with violence, mayhem or maudlin sentimentality. It is written with thought. Much research went into the quotes alone and they are beautifully integrated into the story line. Ms. Starr knows Kirk as well as any writer in fandom today. She feels his hurts and joys and makes us feel them down to our toes as well. If she doesn't get too clinical and cool, (and she doesn't in this one) she is one of the top three or four writers in fandom today. The Chris Soto illo in this story encapsulates the entire feeling on one page. Chris' pen and inks are masterful. While I enjoy her pencil's, it is hard to beat or even match the cleanness of the black and white medium she most often uses. This illo is incredible. The art in FT 13 is, as always, excellent. Ms. Hood does not simply fill her zine. If the art of, doodle as she calls them, have no place in the poem, or story, then it is edited out. Other zines have more art (Alien Brothers for one) but then looking at that, you'll know what I mean by 'filler'. Chris Soto, SBL, Dragon (who is also improving) and Caren Parnes who did the excellent and VERY different covers, are to be commended. There is nothing extraneous or poorly done here. The poetry was very good. My favorites were by Ciana Sepulveda, Jane Fury and Janis Laine. I have read Ms. Sepulveda before and only wish that could read more. She is not as poetic as many but then I understand and respond to her work more than the more obscure ones. Ms. Fury and Ms. Laine while quite different styles, tell wonderful mini-stories that leave you with a wonderful chill. That's what I like in poetry, I want to feel.^[4]

Issue 14

front cover of issue #14, The Southern Cross. This art was displayed at Shore Leave in 1996: "Hope to see most of you at Shore Leave. Remember the original cover of FT 14 will be hung in the art show (they only said no nudity! Men must have made the rules!) I'm shocked that Dovya is willing to part with it, but even if you can't afford it, write her and tell her what a riot it caused. She'll love it." ^[5]

An excerpt from the story, "Tango." "The room’s attention was riveted on the dancers. The music ended, a deep throbbing Tango began. Kirk felt Spock’s large hand draw him close as it settled firmly in the small of his back, his other hand grasped him in a warm, long-fingered embrace to the side of their close-pressed bodies. The steps were complex, but Kirk felt as though he’d known them all his life as Spock guided him through them. a pressure here, a shift of a finger there. He wondered at himself, wondered what in all the galaxies he was doing on a dance floor with his Vulcan, male first officer when he was supposed to be representing the Federation..."

back cover issue #14, The Southern Cross: "I have heard that the artist actually had some men pose for this particular picture. I'm not sure if that's true or apocryphal [the editor steps in and says 'the drawing is from a publicity photo for a movie about Rudolph Valentino starring Rudolph Nureyev]. Here the fellows are naked, although the pic doesn't show anything explicit. There's a lush background that sort of reminiscent of Persian rugs. But what's so riveting is how Spock is leaning back in Kirk's arms, how Kirk is staring into his face, how Kirk's arm is round about and supporting Spock's head... It's the emotion in almost any great K/S picture that makes it great, and there's lots of emotion and sexuality in this one. One of The Southern Cross's very best, in my opinion." ^[6]

the movie poster the back page of this zine is based on, see Photo Reference

front cover issue #14, 3rd edition.

First Time 14 was published in 1987 and contains 200 pages. The zine won the 1988 Surak Award for Best Zine. The covers by The Southern Cross also won a Surak Award. Interior art is by Dragon, Caro Hedge, SBL, Chris Soto, Shellie Whild, and Jackie Zoost.

First Time, poem by Carla Menke (1)
Tango - Dovya Blacque (Surak Award - Best Story) [also in Shadows in the Rain]. (While at a diplomatic reception, Kirk agrees to dance with Spock after watching him dance with the ruler of that planet. "Tough night," Kirk muttered, not looking at his companion, but still surveying the room. Spock, too, was watching with interest the other guests as they arrived. "Undoubtedly," he murmured in return. His full attention had been drawn to the opposite side of the room where the President and his party had just entered. "A good looking man," Kirk whispered under his breath. "Indeed," Spock agreed.") (4)
poem by Lonetta Ives (14)
Cradle, poem by Rhea Gowan (15)
A Flash of Red - Cybel Harper (Kirk almost dies after being attacked by an unknown crewman but Spock immediately knows of his danger and uses a mindmeld to keep him alive. "I've had too much time on my hands lately, Kirk grumbled in his mind. Too much time to dwell on matters that are best not thought about at all. Kirk sighed. Spock, hearing the soft sound, turned away from his terminal and looked quizzically to Kirk. "Is something wrong, Captain?" he asked, with an almost inaudible note of concern in his otherwise perfectly modulated voice.") (16)
poem by Lonetta Ives (28)
Sailing, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (29)
The Healing - Charlotte Frost [tied for the 1988 Surak Award for 'Best Long Story']. (Kirk comforts Spock after his aborted pon farr, so then Spock is able to comfort Kirk when he is notified of his nephewʼs death. "Kirk moved through the corridor of deck five, relieved that the Enterprise was making good time to Altair VI and that he had been able to get a few hours of necessary sleep to recover from his most recent ordeal.") (30)
Master Magician, poem by Shellie A. Whild (97)
Rhythm and Rhyme, poem by Susan Catlin (98)
Spur of the Moment - Emily Adams (Kirk and Spock are enjoying the view in the OD when Kirk, rising to leave, stumbles and ends up in Spockʼs arms. "As the party in the main recreation room had shown signs of breaking up, Spock had left his quarters and taken the lift to the observation lounge. He sat there now, quietly at ease, looking out on the starfield spread before him. His sensitive hearing caught the sound of a familiar step coming his way.") (100)
The Lure - T'Hera Snaider (Spock is given a devise to control the seizures he is having after a head injury and finds that one setting creates fantasies in his mind. "Spock was slightly taken back by Kirk's testiness and slanted a startled eyebrow. The science officer was the recipient of a Casmarian Citation of Merit award in the Science of Plant Hydrogenetics.") (104)
poem by Sharon Delon (134)
Cat Tales, poem by Diane Seaton (134a)
Green Dreams - D.A. Martin (After the meld on Melkot, Kirk has dreams of a lover who turns out to be himself. "As Kirk lay down and pulled the covers up over his body, he let his mind recall the events of the day. He felt again the overwhelming frustration of being caught in the Melkotian trap, forced, no matter what they had thought of, to replay the fateful fight at the OK Corral.") (135)
Smiled, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (157)
Lions Reflected, poem by Jane Fury (158)
A Different Obsession - Mary Adelia . (Captain Spock listens to a tape he made several years before of a sexual experience he had with a certain lieutenant dealing with the tragedy on the Farragut. "To begin, as my mother would say, at the beginning, the Enterprise was en route to Beta Cariniae, where Chief Medical Officer Boyce was attending a medical conference. Since we were ahead of schedule, Captain Pike requested and was granted a forty-eight hour R&R for the crew to be spent on Space Station J-3. I must admit that I felt pleased at the prospect of a quiet ship and a deserted science lab. However, when we arrived at the station, Captain Pike requested my company.") (160)
poem by Roberta (200)
Smiling Eyes, poem by Susan Catlin (201)

interior page from issue #14, sample text
interior page from issue #14, Jackie Zoost
interior page from issue #14, Jackie Zoost
interior page from issue #14, SBL
interior page from issue #14, Chris Soto
interior page from issue #14, sample text
interior page from issue #14, Dragon
interior page from issue #14, Jackie Zoost

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 14

See reactions and reviews for Green Dreams.

See reactions and reviews for The Healing.

See reactions and reviews for Tango.

See reactions and reviews for A Flash of Red.

See reactions and reviews for Spur of the Moment.

See reactions and reviews for The Lure.

See reactions and reviews for A Different Obsession.

[regarding the back cover]: I have heard that the artist actually had some men pose for this particular picture. I'm not sure if that's true or apocryphal [the editor steps in and says 'the drawing is from a publicity photo for a movie about Rudolph Valentino starring Rudolph Nureyev]. Here the fellows are naked, although the pic doesn't show anything explicit. There's a lush background that sort of reminiscent of Persian rugs. But what's so riveting is how Spock is leaning back in Kirk's arms, how Kirk is staring into his face, how Kirk's arm is round about and supporting Spock's head... It's the emotion in almost any great K/S picture that makes it great, and there's lots of emotion and sexuality in this one. One of The Southern Cross's very best, in my opinion.^[7]

[regarding the front cover]: This portrait of Kirk and Spock dancing the tango takes your breath away. The picture relates to the first story in the zine, but even standing on it's own it's wonderful. You just don't run across very many picture of the fellows dancing these days. A purist might argue that Kirk is too tall in this picture (he is), and the the sweep of the leg is exaggerated (it is), and that the body positions might be a tad feminized (I'm not sure). But in this instance, I'm not a purist, and I just enjoy.^[8]

[regarding both covers]: Do you like The Southern Cross' art work? I do. But never have I liked it more than on the covers of FIRST TIME # 14 . These are two of the most erotic, sensual, breath-taking illustrations I've ever seen. The front cover is of Kirk and Spock in tuxes (tails)... dancing with each other! And they don't come off wimpy or 'faggish'. The back cover is of Spock in Kirk's arms amid an array of tapestries and overstuffed pillows and fur rugs.... Beautiful! ^[9]

[zine]: Robin and her Merry Men have outdone themselves this time of First Time 14. I'm not sure if the artwork enhanced the stories or vice versa, but a vivid picture was certainly painted with Southern Cross' magnificent art on the covers. It was very effective having the illo for the first story, "Tango", knock your eyes out before delving into Dovya Blacque's strongly believable story. A suggestion of Kirk and Spock dancing would not have been the most realistic scenario for me, but Dovya's story make them such equals that it comes off more as a blending of their uniquely complimentary personalities rather than the traditional dominant-submissive, leader-follower pattern of traditional dancing and many K/S stories in general. Another reason that I was so strongly attracted to this story is related to my own personal preference when it comes to K/S. I personally have a very vivid imagination (as do most readers) and have yet to see the movie, play, or picture that can match that which my own mind brush can paint. Therefore, I am not as in tune to the highly explicit nature of many K/S stories. There is a difference between explicit and erotic, and "Tango" fits the latter description and yet nothing is sacrificed because we don't have a microscopic description of the differences in Kirk's and Spock's anatomy. Without a doubt, Southern Cross' artwork on the back cover is splendid viewing, with "green-eyed" pleasure. "Green Dreams" by D.A. Martin is a nice episode sequel (Spectre of the Gun), particularly with the author's nice discovery of the source of his erotic dreams about making love to someone who looks suspiciously like himself. You will have to read the story to find out the context of "green". There is a very nice love scene in the end, once again erotic without being overly explicit. Cybel Harper's "A Flash of Red" puts a little plot back into K/S, some thing which sometimes goes by the wayside in entire ish's of K/S. In a story that could drown in hurt/comfort as Kirk is stabbed by an unknown assailant (hint, that "flash of red"), the author seems to have found a very nice balance of it without getting overly mushy which makes Kirk and Spock unbelievable in my eyes. I liked the way this version of their bonding takes place, with Spock' s concern for his friend outweighing his normally logical, nonemotional rasponse to a crisis which gives birth to desires hidden from each other in the depths of their souls. Perhaps, it is an other "just in the Knick of time" saving of Kirk by his First Officer, but a little "mellow-drama'" forgiven in an otherwise nicely plotted story. Curiosity can often get one in trouble, but in Kirk's case curiosity bring s much more in Charlotte Frost's "The Healing". Kirk's concern for continuing to bring his Vulcan Friend out of his self-imposed shell is caringlv written and easily shows how Kirk's intention to hurt his friend leads to Spock really talking to him. Being caught up in Spock's willingness to talk about his bonding problems, Kirk's curiosity becomes aroused as he becomes the listener. I find that a very believable premise to initiate melding with his friend. One might argue that the meld is too personal an experience for Spock to engage in idle experimentation, but then he, too, has his cat-like curiosity, of the meld's ability to bring pleasure, to satisfy. I do not think the sub-plot with Spocks former friends to be quite necessary --it was like hitting you over the head with a club when a feather will do the same. It came in disjointed from the rest of the story and left me asking, "Now why was that in there?". What I find to be a very interesting turn of events, nicely explaining Spock's alienation from his father, was Charlotte's gut-wrenching scene explaining Sarek's breaking of the parental bond with Spock --very original. Charlotte manages to slip in a nice little "hurt/comfort" scene as further evidence of Spock's blossoming relationship with Kirk in his ability to "open" to the human being of Kirk and the one inside himself. The [word undecipherable] scene was a bit much, but the birthday [word undecipherable] is the perfect prelude to the ensuing honeymoon. The love scene is a pretty [word undecipherable] blend of erotic and explicit surrounded in a [words undecipherable] aura--nicely satisfying.^[10]

Issue 15

front cover issue #15, 1st edition, Chris Soto

back cover issue #15, 1st edition, Chris Soto: "A beautiful painting of Spock as a Native American. I am awed by the attention to detail, and the excellent rendering of the different textures—such as the bead texture on Spock's armband and the texture of Spock's feather... I could go on. Spock looks every inch a chief in this illo." ^[11]

First Time 15 was published in December 1987 and contains 179 pages. It was nominated for at least one Surak Award.

The Human Thing to Do - Sarah B. Leonard. (As his 2nd Pon Farr nears, Spock visits the Shore Leave planet to decide who he will ask to bond with. "Spock stepped out of the transporter station, carrying his small bag with him. An elderly man greeted him. "I'm so glad you decided to visit again, sir. You will let us know your slightest requirements." "Thank you, Caretaker. I am sure that everything will be satisfactory." "We have duplicated the desert environment that you requested. If you will follow me, please." The Caretaker turned away and Spock followed.")
Fantasy Prince - Darla Michaels. (While browsing thru an alien market place, Kirk daydreams of being a slave to a warrior Spock. "Well, ah . . . maybe you'd like to have a game of chess . . . in my cabin?" Kirk's heart was thudding painfully in his chest. Desire was strong, and the image of the Vulcan's lean body draped across his bed came to mind with a vengeance. "Your cabin would be fine, Captain . . . . " Spock cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back. "However, rather than a game of chess, I should like to know more about . . . your . . . daydream." Kirk blushed furiously but knew this was his chance. "I'll be happy to tell you about it, Spock, but . . . . " "I would rather you . . . share it with me." Spock's face was determined.")
Soul Search - Jacqueline Vale. (After Omicron Ceti 3, Spock is surprised by Kirk as he masturbates. "Now. Only now, hours away from Omicron Cite III and ship's status returned to normal, could Spock relax and begin to assess the whole experience. How the spores had affected him personally: as an individual and as a Vulcan. His response, or, rather, lack of response to Leila. His betrayal of Jim. His betrayal of Vulcan. Ultimately, his betrayal of self. Too much for any man to consider at once. Logically, Spock broke it into several components and set himself to explore each point fully in turn.")
Lessons - Emily Adams. (After noting a change in Kirkʼs reaction to women, Spock asks for lessons in beginning a relationship. "Excuse me, Captain," the Vulcan apologized, seeing Kirk's desk. "If I am disturbing you, I shall return at a later time." "No, Spock, that's okay. Sit down." Kirk pushed the stack of papers away again with relief as Spock drew up a chair and seated himself across the desk from his CO. "It was occurred to me," the Vulcan began, "that there is a subject on which I am lacking knowledge. I have previously experienced no interest in this area, but am now finding myself at a disadvantage. As you are reputed to have experience and, shall we say, expertise in the matter, I thought I should apply to you for the necessary information." Spock looked expectant. "What is this area of expertise I seem to have acquired?" "I wish to learn something of courtship rituals.")
Listen and Learn - Maria Surah. (Spock and Kirk discuss the gossip Spock overheard regarding a relationship between the two of them. "May I ask a question?" "Sure." Kirk suspected Spock of trying to distract him to change the subject. "Are you aware that the gossip routinely . . . . " Kirk waited for Spock to rephrase the obviously difficult question. "Apparently, the crew assumes that we you and I are engaged in a . . . sexual relationship. Of some duration." Kirk's mouth slowly slipped open. "Us? Lovers? How . . . . " He barely closed his mouth on the word 'ridiculous.' Spock might get the wrong idea.")
Burden of Shadows - Janis E. Laine. (After Ekos, Spock is haunted by a childhood trauma that threatens his dawning relationship with Kirk. "The mission to Ekos was over a success in the eyes of Starfleet Command. The missing man, John Gill, had been found; a deviating culture quietly nudged back on track by the efforts of James T. Kirk, captain of the starship USS Enterprise, and his Vulcan first officer, Spock. The injuries they sustained were healed; the scars on their backs erased. The scars on Spock's psyche were not. It was not the beating. Spock had suffered far worse at the hands of various enemies of the Federation and was not intimidated by the knowledge that he might one day face infinitely worse. It was the dreams he was finding it difficult to cope with, and the knowledge of whence they came. What was it about Terra, he wondered, that so often engendered perversion?")
Firebird - (Novella) Jane Fury. (Spock is stranded with “Kirok” after beaming down alone to the planet to rescue Kirk when the Enterprise is disabled. "I have only one name that I remember. Kirok." Straightforward. But was there a trace of melancholy? "Did . . . you have . . . another name?" Spock made the effort. His head throbbed. A part of his mind sought the other with the tendrils of friendship that they once had shared. There was nothing. "Yes. I know I did, but the only thing I can remember sounds like Kirok, and I know that's not correct." Feeling like death itself, the Vulcan nevertheless had to continue if the man was willing. Who knew when the opportunity might arise again? So he asked hesitantly: "Does Kirk . . . sound . . . better to you?")
POETRY by Anne Fitzgibbons, Jane Fury, Cybel Harper, Janis E. Laine, Shellie Whild
COVERS by Chris Soto
ART by Bri, SBL, Chris Soto, Kay Wells, Shellie While, Jackie Zoost

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 15

See reactions and reviews for Lessons.

See reactions and reviews for Firebird.

See reactions and reviews for Listen and Learn.

See reactions and reviews for Burden of Shadows.

See reactions and reviews for The Human Thing to Do.

See reactions and reviews for Fantasy Prince.

See reactions and reviews for Soul Search.

[art on page 159, artist is Chris Soto]: This is a touching illo of Kirk and Spock in Native American costume during the novella, "Firebird", with Spock leaning his head against Kirk's chest. The geometric pattern on Kirk's headband is echoed in the background. Both of these, and the pattern on the frame look like Native American blanket patterns. Spock's expression and the disordered hair on his right side indicate subtly that Spock is still unwell. He has only recently emerged from healing trance at that point in "Firebird".^[12]

Issue 16

First Time 16 was published in March 1988 and contains 162 pages. It is a single novel called, "Crystal Clear" by Roberta Haga.

It has art by Chris Soto (lots) and one piece by Paul Haga.

front cover of issue #16, Chris Soto

back cover of issue #16, Chris Soto

issue #16, 2nd edition

Summaries:

"The Enterprise rescues a felinoid female from a smugglerʼs ship and soon after all the males on the ship begin to have a reaction that causes all of them, including the captain and first officer, to be constantly sexually aroused."

From The Zine Connection #34: "The Enterprise beams aboard a beautiful, female, alien animal. Confusion reigns on the ship. Everyone is being driven mad by lust, lasciviousness, and love... Our boys fight the power being exerted upon them: fight it mightily, but fortunately, they lose...."

Excerpt:

"You have discovered the reason behind my condition, Doctor?" Spock asked as soon as he'd stepped inside McCoy's cabin two and a half hours later. "Have a seat, Spock." McCoy waved him in the general direction of a couple of chairs. "Want anything to drink?" "No, thank you." Brown eyes were intense and McCoy felt his knees quivering under the stare. "Do you, or do you not, have a specific reason for requesting my presence this evening?" McCoy sighed in resignation, claimed a chair of his own, deliberately waiting until Spock had seated himself. "I know what is causing your symptoms. All the tests show you're perfectly healthy. However, it seems you have acquired a slight case of . . . " he swallowed, " . . . love." Brows soared through the black bangs and McCoy would swear to his dying day that the hair on the Vulcan's forehead had actually moved from the impact. "I BEG your pardon!" McCoy swallowed again. Spock was as close to being a pure, unadulterated Vulcan as he'd ever seen him and the doctor was trembling inside in reaction to the flaming eyes daring him to repeat his absurd statement. "There's nothing wrong with you. You're just in love." "Are you attempting an ill-conceived joke, Doctor?"
"Why would I joke about something like this?" "I am Vulcan," Spock insisted."

From the editorial page: "REMEMBER!! If you didn't buy this zine from this address [redacted] or from an over-wieght blonde, they probably bought it from a xeroxer and you got took!"

inside page from issue #16, Chris Soto
inside page from issue #16, Chris Soto
inside page from issue #16, Paul Haga
inside page from issue #16, Chris Soto
inside page from issue #16, Chris Soto
inside page from issue #16, uncredited
inside page from issue #16, sample text
inside page from issue #16, Chris Soto

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 16

[art by Chris Soto]: This is beautiful art. each piece so striking. The front and back covers, with the crystal motif, and six drawings, Chris' technique is so subtle; her Kirk and Spock faces are so clear and strong, so...there. They feel so divinely matched; these two are one.
Not to mention her Kirk and Spock bodies. First is a gorgeous nude Kirk, lying on his front on a bedf head resting on his hands, staring off deeply into his alone-thoughts. Then an exquisite Kirk close-up against the stars, and we see. again, he is a man of deep feeling. And Kirk and Spock together; Spock right where he should be. at Kirk's shoulder, so there for him.
The next one. I had seen when I leafed through before reading, and I just couldn't wait to get to that scene. I sure don't know how Kirk could contain himself, seeing Spock for the first time in this scene; Spock in barely-clothes (when in Rome,..) with braided leather thongs around head and bicep.
And Kirk and Spock together against backdrop of stellar stuff; lovely. Then, chest-up Kirk and Spock nude, with the most beautiful, small smiles. By now in the story, they definitely have not been containing themselves.... Making us "believe" Spock smiling is an art, and this one was just perfect.^[13]

[zine]: What do you get when you cross a mysterious cat named Crystal with the crew of the Enterprise? Tribbles with hairballs? Crew members with a craving for catnip? No, more like crew with a craving with each other. Roberta Haga's novel "Crystal Clear" in First Time 16 turns the Enterprise in to the "Love Boat" of space. Upon rescuing the kidnaped felinoid whom McCoy names Crystal for her clear sapphire blue eyes, the male crew of the Enterprise fall in love under the spell of a mysterious ailment which renders them more interested in love than war with Kirk and Spock no exception. Much to McCoy's delight, Spock's pointed ears once again get him in trouble when Crystal decides that he bears a striking resemblance to her mate and enthusiastically tries to overcome Vulcan reticence and dignity with her very visible display of affection. n their quest to return Crystal to her questionable place of origin, the cause for the loving CATastrophe eventually becomes PURRfectly clear in this light, loving tale that is guaranteed to entertain. Chris Soto's artwork in the 'zine continues her tradition of providing some of the most beautiful portraiture of Kirk and Spock. This 'zine cried out for some artwork that portrayed the feline guest star since Roberta's crisp characterization of Crystal painted such a vivid, detailed picture of her. ( The editor explained this as the -artist's aversion to cats!) Roberta's dialogue moved fluently and reflected much of the humor that is such an integral part of what Star Trek is all about. I found that very refreshing. The author also manages to keep our heroes true to their original character, easily recognizable in their relationships with on another as the characters that the fans have grown to know and love. She has managed to weave the plot back and forth with a smoothness characteristic of her stories and writing. The format used for this story made reading much easier and gave the 'zine a polished look. All things considered, "Crystal Clear" is a loving story, in the First Time tradition, which leaves the reader purring for meow-ore---er, more! ^[14]

[zine]: CRYSTAL CLEAR by Roberta Haga is a refreshing novel, numerous, endearing and sexually charged. Like almost all of Ms. Haga's previous pieces, this story is based on an unusual premise. An interesting being is removed from her planet by an unscrupulous group of individuals and, by a twist of fate, she ends up on board the Enterprise. There she inadvertently causes her own brand of havoc, while Kirk and his crew try to find out where she's from and return her. The plot is well defined, as is the sub-plot which is the first time aspect of the story. Characterization and dialogue are very well done and believable. In addition, the writer invests the main characters with a gentle loving quality that harks back to aired Trek and the movies without falling into the trap of being syrupy. Although this is Ms. Haga's first novel, it is to be hoped that it is not the last. There is an originality and verve to her writing that grabs the reader's interest and holds it to the very end. If there is anything to be said on the negative side, it is an occasional problem with lax grammar. However, this in no way detracts from the story. Illustrations for CRYSTAL CLEAR were all done by Chris Soto including the covers, and dove-tail quite nicely with the story. Although not highly erotic in nature, they are lovely and one, in particular, of Kirk should cause a few palpitations in the reader's breath. Altogether, I highly recommend this zine. It should please even the most finicky of readers.^[15]

[zine]: This is a light, thoroughly entertaining novel. I was lucky enough to get an original and got the wonderful Soto art, so let that be a lesson to you. From the first page to the last, written as only Roberta can, images and K/S in character. If you haven't read this, you're missing a lot of fun. I'll quote the editors flyer (since it's easier). "The Enterprise beams aboard a beautiful, female, alien animal. Confusion reigns on the ship. Everyone is being driven mad with lust, lasciviousness and love. Our 'boys' fight the power being exerted upon them. Fight it mightily, but fortunately, they lose." Crystal is a fell, easy read. Exciting, extremely well written ....^[16]

[zine]: One scene in this novel has managed to engrave itself on my memory. Kirk and Spock are in the officer’s mess, along with McCoy and other crew members, when something suddenly happens between them – a spontaneous bonding! This is such a unique idea and is written with such intensity and clarity, it seems like a very plausible thing to me. It is memorable because of where it occurs - in a public area and with only an innocent touch to trigger it. With this one scene in mind, I pulled the zine off the shelf and plunged into it with relish. It was an accidental and very special coincidence that I reached the pivotal scene just before midnight on New Year’s Eve.
The plot, other than the passionate and slowly expanding love affair, involves a female member of a heretofore unknown felinoid species who has fallen into the custody of the Enterprise crew. They are quite fond of her and are committed to returning her to her own kind. While she is not developed to the point of communication, neither is she wild, but the things her scent does do human males is definitely on the wild side. To say that all the men on board become quite amorous would be a grievous understatement. Try persistently horny. It’s amusing and a little weird that no one catches on to the reason for so many new pairings and the all night marathons. Maybe no one wanted to believe it was an outside influence and not their own prowess. This added a bit of whimsy to the story, but there was nothing whimsical about what was happening between Kirk and Spock. It was enthralling and enchanting. If you prefer instant gratification for them, this is not the story for you. They are both walking on eggshells, which gives us countless moments of tenderness and the stuff that makes your heart contract and your breath catch in your throat.
In short, it is a superb novel, especially if exploring a compelling and beautiful love affair is on your agenda.^[17]

[zine]: Real quick review of CRYSTAL CLEAR, a K/S novel by Roberta Haga. Gorgeously produced with desktop publishing, 160 double-column pages, with a few full page illos - not too many to detract from the narrative, enough to entice. The price, I believe, was $18, and it's worth it. The reading is smooth and delivers what the K/S reader is looking for without the oft intrusive sense of reading pornography. The language in the sex scenes is not grunt-and-gutter, but literate and to the point. This, together with the excellent repro makes the 'zine a real pleasure to read. The novel itself is structured to hang entirely by a single thread of conflict, though, and that may in fact be its most unsatisfying flaw for the veteran K/S reader. The only Kirk/Spock conflict line is the very oldj teen-romance one of *they both feel that way but won't say anything about it." Both Kirk and Spock independently arrive at the conclusion that they are in love, but each is afraid to declare himself to the other for fear of rejection. All consideration of parental opinion, command image, homophobia, bonding complication, or the simple problem of settling a "Tomcat" down to one mate, is ignored. There is a nice subplot involving a sub-intelligent alien animal, about to evolve to civilization, but nothing is really done with that dramatically. The animal, while- aboard the E, gives off sexually arousing pheneromes that threaten to trigger Spock's pon farr - but never does. Plot-wise, that's a major flaw because the issue was brought up and highlighted. The other big plot flaw is an episode buried in the middle of the novel but not really attached to any other plot development. All the men on the boarding party that first encountered the alien animal comes down with a virus that covers them in purple spots. This puts Kirk and Spock in an awkward situation as they are both confined to sickbay for quarantine. They never solve the problem of the virus, and nobody else comes down with it - not even when they later must deal with a planet where an artificial virus has wiped out all the females (of a telepathic species that bonds sexually). There are a great many truly vibrant premises sprinkled through this novel, but they are not all brought together into a single, neat - ahem - climax. There's nothing original said about the K/S relationship. Despite all that, the novel is a clean, smooth, enjoyable read, and I do suggest that even those unable to shell out $18 for the novel engrave the name ROBERTA HAGA on their minds and grab anything else under that byline. When she masters novel structure, 3he's going to be one of the very, very best writers around beeause she has a tender sensitivity that the field really needs.^[18]

Issue 17

front cover of issue #17 by Caren P

back cover issue #17, 1st edition by Caren P

cover of issue #17, 3rd edition

First Time 17 was published in May 1988 (a month after the previous issue) and contains 199 pages. It has interior art by Dragon, Caro Hedge, Chris Soto, Kay Wells, and Shellie Whild.

First Time, poem by Cybel Harper (1)
Five Days - Emily Adams. (Shore Leave Between ST:TMP and ST:TWOK. "We have dinner, and we talk about our day, and neither of us will say anything about how we feel or about the subject that is uppermost in both our minds, each other. We only watch, and I can tell he's watching me and I know he can see I'm watching him. It's so difficult, loving him so much and wanting him and thinking maybe he feels the same but not knowing and not knowing how to ask. Not when one of us is a calm, private, reticent Vulcan. Three days we have left. Only three days and then he'll be off somewhere and I'll put my life on hold and just exist until the next time. If there is a next time. One never knows out there. I feel my eyes start to prickle at the thought and at the hopelessness of the whole thing and I stand up and look out the window the other direction so he won't see.") (4)
Glory Days, poem by Cybel Harper (9)
Carved in Stone - Kay Wells. (Kirk poses for a portrait, unaware that the artist uses his paintings to create nude statues of the subject. "Spock almost frowned, but continued his discourse. "It is said that his portraits capture the essence of the person he has depicted, not just the representation of the features." "You mean he captures the soul, Spock?" "If that is what you wish to call it.") (10)
Dragon Light, poem by Robin Hood (31)
Sweet Disaster - Elizabeth Scott. (After pon farr together,Spock rejects a bonding with Kirk out of fear of the effects on him. "Are you telling me that Vulcan is going to let him die because he is half-Human?" Kirk cut in angrily. "The realities of Vulcan are often harsh," Sarek intoned stoically. "Then what are we doing here? I didn't drag him halfway across the galaxy just to let him die at home!" "There is perhaps a solution, Captain. There are those families on Vulcan that have few resources and little influence who will permit their daughters to provide the . . . necessary relief in exchange for bonding at the cessation of the ordeal." "You mean you have to buy a wife for him?" McCoy asked.") (32)
In Hand, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (63)
Forests of the Night - (Novella) Ciana Sepulveda. (Spock Searches for Kirk on a Romulan planet after Kirk is abducted by Orions and sold into slavery. "The Romulan again looked at Kirk. "Such spirit, such intelligence . . . . The heart of a warrior in the body of a slave? It was just too much of a discrepancy." The black eyes returned to Spock. I do not normally investigate the backgrounds of my slaves. Once they are my property, their past is of no concern to me. But one does not come across the likes of Kazin every day. It took quite a bit of expense to trace previous sales, but I got my answers very quickly. It seems money can be a great time-saving motivator." Travek let his gaze briefly sweep the length of the human's body. "No, he was not a prince, though he carried himself like one.") (64)
Journeys of the Night, poem by Robin hood (155)
When, Look at You, Endless Night, poems by Cybel Harper (156)
Needles - Janis E. Laine. (Kirk and Spock make love while hiding in a haystack from the Klingons. "Our hideout appears to have been used for such a purpose before. We have to squeeze into the small burrow that must have provided excellent concealment for children of the small, humanoid natives of this world. For adults of Vulcan and Terran physiques, the squeeze isexcessive indeed. The captain had obviously had experiences with this off means of secreting oneself, and unquestioningly help him pile loose handfuls of the vegetation he calls hay into the short tunne lthrough which we have crawled. Above the rustling and our labored breathing I hear the irregularclatter of the approaching Klingon patrol. Placing my hand on Jim's shoulder, I whisper, "They are here.") (157)
Night Spirit, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (163)
Who's Too Old, poem by Carol Turner (164)

inside page from issue #17, Dragon for "Five Days"
inside page from issue #17, Shellie Whild for "Carved in Stone"
inside page from issue #17, Shellie Whild for "Carved in Stone"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Chris Soto for "Forests of the Night"
inside page from issue #17, Kay Wells for "Needles"

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 17

See comments for Forests of the Night.

See comments for Five Days.

See comments for Needles.

See comments for Sweet Disaster.

See reactions and reviews for Carved in Stone.

Issue 18

cover issue #18, 3rd edition. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.

front cover of issue #18, Gayle F. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.

back cover of issue #18, Gayle F. Note: This image has been marked as sexually explicit and has been minimised.

First Time 18 was published in June 1988 and contains 177 pages.

Interior art by DEW, Dragon, Caro Hedge, Pat Horowitz, SBL, Chris Soto, and Jackie Zoost.

From the editorial: "I have to inform you (notice I didn't say WARN?) there is a story -- NOON TOMORROW, that is a death story. Don't panic! I told you ahead of tome AND, believe me, you'll hate yourself when all your friends are talking about how wonderful it was and you don't have the faintest idea what they're talking about. Yes, it is a death story and yes, in my opinion, it is a happy ending, (but keep the tissues handy!) in fact, there couldn't be any other way to end it and I'm sure you'll all agree. Okay, don't read it, see if I care!"

Also from the editorial: "DON'T BUY A XEROX OF THIS ZINE. THE ORIGINAL IS A MUCH BETTER INVESTMENT. Apparently our campaign is working: the little copier person WASN'T at the last con! Thanks girls! Keep up the good work!"

These Things I Would Do - Emily Adams. (After Spock is rescued from imprisonment, Kirk decides to give Spock a loving experience of sex. "Kirk spoke, not even bothering to open his eyes. "When you've been as close to death as we were, do you ever think of things you wish you'd done or places you wish you'd seen or things like that?" "Yes," the Vulcan answered.") (4)
San Francisco, poem by Cybel Harper (24b)
Until Tonight - Peter Silverton. (The Night after Pon Farr. "I don't really know what I expected, but I think I was surprised to find you were not alien. Not really. How could we all have misjudged you so? Especially me, your closest friend? I've known you almost two years and I don't think I really knew or understood you until tonight.") (25)
Eridani's Daughter, poem by Janis E. Laine (28)
The Souvenir - Kay Wells. (McCoy Gives Kirk a Vulcan dildo as a joke, assuming he and Spock are lovers. "James Kirk sat at his desk, tapping a stylus against his fingers and regarding the immobile form of the ship's doctor standing across from him. He knew there was no point in pleading his case again but he felt helplessly compelled to do so. "Ah, Bones. I really do have some things up here I want to do." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Bring me back a souvenir." "Will do," the doctor replied enthusiastically. "I'll find you something really special." Kirk eyes him suspiciously.") (29) (winner of a 1988 Surak Award)
The Night of the First Day, poem by Dovya Blacque (46)
Other Games Besides Chess - Sharon Pillsbury. (Spock reprograms the thermostat in Kirkʼs cabin in order to force him to stay in Spockʼs cabin and bed for the night. "You are trembling, Jim." "I'll be okay." "My quarters are quite comfortable," Spock pointed out. "Under the circumstances perhaps we should . . . share my bed for tonight." "That could become a habit!" Kirk smiled softly. "You go get some sleep. I'll manage to survive." "As you wish," the Vulcan said formally, then left the room.") (47)
The Dance, poem by Cybel Harper (60)
Understand, poem by Cybel Harper (61)
One Small Berry - Elizabeth Scott. (Kirk enters himself as a bondmate for Spock as they return to Vulcan to meet the candidates there. "And you'd let him go off and marry some stranger?!" Uhura asked loudly. It was out before she could stop it. She cringed at the tone of righteous indignation in her voice. "Sorry, Sir. I know. It's Mr. Spock's life and he has the right to make his own decisions, male or female." "Exactly." Kirk nodded, a nod that was much too emphatic and nowhere near sincere.") (62)
After the Fire, poem by Dovya Blacque (75)
Noon Tomorrow - Addison Reed. (AU: Kirk becomes a patient in an alien asylum after Spock dies on the crash on their way to their bonding. "There was no escaping the ponderous blunted probe. Pounding with a life-force all its own, it blindly sought its goal, insinuating itself more deeply with each silken stroke, spreading molten heat that at the same time filled and enveloped him, expanding until it blossomed into his mind; pulsing until it permeated every cell, touched every nerve. As the presence lingered, swelling to challenge its warm confines, he sensed a great unknown need rising in him, slowly caressing him with its nearness, luring him with its distance.") (76)
Soul of Dreams, poem by Robin Hood (91)
Reflections in a Warped Mirror - T'Hera Snaider. (Kirk dreams of killing an A/U Spock while in Tholian space. "Spock laid his stylus hastily aside. He had been tapping it on the arm of the command chair. He became aware, uncomfortable so, of Uhura's eyes on the back of his head. She alone on the bridge was sensitive to his mood and Spock, although he appreciated her concern, wished she would not react so disconcertingly. He had a strong urge to turn around and return her stare. Restless, he stood and moved to the science station, peering into the scanner without knowing what it was he saw. His mind was preoccupied with thought of the captain. Ever since Kirk had been retrieved from Tholian space, the captain had been acting strangely.") (92)
Without a Word - Dagmar Buse. (Kirk is surprised by Spock while he masturbates. "Funny how things have turned out so far, Kirk mused. Indeed their second five-year mission had so far started off as sedately as the first one had been adventurous. They were eight months into it. For once, Kirk wasn't complaining. true, he felt slightly nostalgic remembering the excitement he'd lived through on his first time out. He was fairly sure that sooner or later excitement to satisfy even him would come their way. Anyway, the more quiet start suited him and his ship just fine to get reacquainted with each other. Especially with his crew, although there had been some cases where no readjustment had been necessary. Like him and Spock, fo example.") (116)
The Propine, Perfect Love, Asked for More, three poems by Marion Graham (135)
A Thousand Times - Mara Lynn Cade. (Kirk is chosen as a “Token” by an alien ruler and must submit sexually to him, causing Spock to think it was consentual when he finds out. "You expect me to what?!" the young captain shouted, eyes blazing with indignation. "Captain, please understand, you were never meant to . . . . It was never the intention of the Diplomatic Corps to ask . . . . " For a man whose professional work was with words, Hynsyn found himself suddenly inarticulate. "To ask this . . . of you.") (136)
The Song, poem by Cybel Harper (162)
Query, Repartee, poem by Marion Graham (163)
Dear Mom - Roberta Haga. (Kirk writes to his mother of his unhappiness due to Spockʼs departure for Gol. "Dear Mom: I guess if you were any other person you'd tear this up and never speak to me again. Maybe that's why they made some people mothers so the rest of us would always have someone who'd never turn us away. I've been so busy there's been no time. No, that's not true. There's been time to write, to have called, sent you a message at least. I don't know if it can be called an excuse or not, but I've been afraid to contact you. Afraid of what I'd say, of what you'd say. I'm in love, mom. So deep it hurts. How come you never told me it could hurt like this? I'm drunk, mom, that's why I'm not making much sense. It's the only way I could find the courage to tell you any of this.") (164)
Explain to Me, poem by Cybel Harper (176)

interior page from issue #18, Dragon for "These Things I Would Do"
interior page from issue #18, Sarah B. Leonard, for the poem "Eridani's Daughter" by Janis E. Laine
interior page from issue #18, DEW for "The Souvenir"
interior page from issue #18, DEW for "The Souvenir"
interior page from issue #18, DEW for "Other Games Beside Chess"
interior page from issue #18, Jackie Zoost for "One Small Berry"
interior page from issue #18, Pat Horowitz for "One Small Berry"
interior page from issue #18, "Dear Mom"—first page
interior page from issue #18, Dragon for "A Thousand Times"
interior page from issue #18, Dragon for "A Thousand Times"
interior page from issue #18, DEW for "Without a Word"
interior page from issue #18, Chris Soto for "Reflections in a Warped Mirror"

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 18

See reactions and reviews for These Things I Would Do.

See reactions and reviews for Noon Tomorrow.

See reactions and reviews for Dear Mom.

See reactions and reviews for The Souvenir.

See reactions and reviews for Without a Word.

See reactions and reviews for Reflections in a Warped Mirror.

See reactions and reviews for One Small Berry.

See reactions and reviews for Other Games Besides Chess.

See reactions and reviews for A Thousand Times.

See reactions and reviews for Until Tonight.

[zine]: Viva la plain brown wrapper! Which is exactly what you're going to need if you plan to carry this zine along to the dentist's office! The covers are, in two words, gorgeous and sexy, and I loved them ... but it's STUFFY reading in that closet. If you can get past this Gayle F. artwork, so me of her best and most realistic, you'll find a veritable garden of delicacies inside. TIHESE THINGS WOULD I DO, This story is one I like, and though familiar, it wasn't tiring or boring at all. Spock's reticence and discomfort was well depicted. Both of Dragon's illos were excellent. Especially intriguing was the alien landscape with its upside-down civilization. And last but not least, I love it when they discover each other! Made me feel good all over. Written by newcomer Peter Silverton, UNTIL TONIGHT was a different approach, yes. A widely read fellow I'm acquainted with says we women write entirely unlike men (in other words, sloppy), but how are we supposed to know how a guy feels? Maybe we could have a longer story next time and experience the same positive and living feeling that Peter generates in this one. It's hard to think of something diverse in the K/S realm these days, but with THE SOUVENIR, Kay Wells has done it, and how! This was different - humorous, but with an underlying poignancy because of the truth this unlikely souvenir brings to light. In one page, called THE NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY, Dovya Blacque gives us a nice look at the not so god-like Captain Kirk facing everyday fears like the rest of us mortals. Okay, I'll admit it, I'll never get tired of those sensuous yet innocent massages? That's one of the OTHER GAMES BESIDES CHESS itemized by Sharon Pillsbury. A smile was generated by Spock's emphasis on some of Kirk's more innocent words - a nice turnaround from the norm - but I had to hee-haw at the unexpected tangle of Spock's tongue when the match got a little heated. Hilarious! You can see the green flush! And then my heart went out to him at his painful thought, "yes, I need you ... ". Spock devotees will enjoy this portrayal for the remainder of the story as well. While ONE SMALL BERRY didn't suit my image of characterization as well as some, or maybe the character's reactions to the situation, Elizabeth Scott's orginal "selection process" was intriguing and created some nice moments of anticipation. REFLECTIONS IN A WARPED MIRROR began in another era and my taste doesn't normally run to warrior stories, but since T'Hera Snaider turned this one into a dream of sorts, it was more to my liking and does give the reader a sample of both worlds. One of the most beautiful portraits you're likely to find of an uncivilized Spock was contributed by Chris Soto. WITHOUT A WORD is a beautiful expression of love. No words are needed and Dagmar Buse proves it with a total absence of dialogue. It was especially nice to experience the ongoing story throught the eyes of both participants. One viewpoint would have been good. Two was better. Mara Lynn Cade's A THOUSAND TIMES kept my attention, and to be quite honest, one of the central characters, The Pehta, gave me the creeps. Add to this the fact that Kirk's physical symptoms and mental distress following his subjection to the alien's rather distasteful invasion of his body was very well expressed, and one is left feeling absolutely filthy (that's realism enough, thank you). Good reading. . .. DEAR MOM is just waht the title implies: a series of letters from James T. Kirk, ghost-written in this case by Roberta Haga. Dovya Blacque's hand-written interpretation lends just the right touch, making it almost like taking a clandestine peek at something one shouldn't! Who could resist? A refreshing change, very insightful and intimate on a diffferent level than we are accustomed to seeing. When the idea of doing this review was born, it seemed only right that I at least skim through the zine a second time. This turned out to be far from a chore as I was soon absorbed once again in the art, the poetry and the fiction. Can there be a better recommendation? In the interest of fairness, let me warn you at this point that there is a contribution of my own in FT 18. If you disregard it while reading as I have in reviewing, I think you'll still agree that Robin Hood has done it again, confirming my thoughts that FIRST TIME, from issue number one right through the current offering, should be on the shelves of every K/S fan-towards the front, in easy reach.^[19]

[zine]: As usual, the first thing I noticed - and the first thing I think of when I think of FIRST TIME - about this issue of FT was the cover art. Beautiful, sensual, explicit pencil work by Gayle F is becoming a trademark for FT. And this is one of Gayle's best, especially the back cover! especially the back cover! No one draws K and S the way Gayle does inside FT #18 is the usual mixture of very good, good and unremarkable stories, art work and poetry. THESE THINGS WOULD I DO by Emily Adams is an odd situation with a satisfactory, if somewhat cliche, resolution. After sustaining Injuries on a landing party. Kirk and Spock discuss those things they'd always wanted to do but had never gotten around to doing. Predictably, Spock wants to experience sexual intimacy... and Kirk obliges after some predictable machinations. OTHER GAMES BESIDES CHESS by Sharon Pillsbury is another very predictable story line in which, through trite situations and the obligatory misunderstandings, Kirk and Spock find the solution to their unhappiness in one another's arms. A nice, uninspired yet enjoyable story. THE SOUVENIR by Kay Wells is the first in a group of what I would call "strange" stories in FT #18. McCoy brings a "souvenir" back from shore leave for a Kirk he thinks is mooning over Spock who is away at a conference. This "souvenir" is intended as a joke but has very serious overtones which start Kirk thinking... and later cause Spock to come to some odd conclusions of his own. While I thought the premise of this story in poor taste, I must say it was a refreshing change to come across something this unusual in a FIRST TIME. REFLECTIONS IN A WARPED MIRROR is an A/U story that really isn't. Kirk has a very vivid dream In which an alternate version of himself mistreats an alternate version of Spock in ways that threaten Kirk's waking reality. Again, the solution to the dilemma Is predictable, but this is a very unusual story with a satisfactory solution. An interesting read. My least favorite stories were A THOUSAND TIMES by Mara Lynn Cade and UNTIL TONIGHT by Peter Silverton. A THOUSAND TIMES involves Starfleet officials forcing Kirk's hand in either taking on a highly unsavory assignment himself or delegating the humiliating task to Spock. Of course Kirk takes it on himself but the aftermath is taken out on Spock. The solution to the turmoil is well done, but I found the entire situation not only unbelievable but terribly unbelievable. While there is nothing 'wrong' with UNTIL TONIGHT, there Is also nothing 'right'. This is a simple retelling of dozens of other "discovery" stories in which either Kirk or Spock "discover- their love for the other. There is nothing offensive in this little story, it's just very dull and ordinary. My favorite story is WITHOUT A WORD by Dagmar Buse. While this is not the most complex or well-written story I've ever come across, it is well told and paced. Accidentally, Spock comes across Kirk who is engrossed in a little self-gratification. The results of this accidental meeting felt very natural to me, the situation didn't seem forced or contrived... something that Is difficult to do given the premise. NOON TOMORROW by Addison Reed reminds me strongly of something out of THRUST or SUN AND SHADOW or even an early issue of NAKED TIMES. This, the editor warns us, is a 'death' story. But it is so touching, so well-written, that the "death" aspects are, in this case, something to recommend the story rather than something to steer clear of if that sort of thing bothers you. I won't ruin the story by discussing the plot here, but I do recommend that, even if you usually stay away from "death" stories, you read this one. DEAR MOM by Roberta Haga is a charming little piece (hand written to add just the right spice to the story) consisting of a series of letters from Kirk to his mother discussing his feelings for Spock. I really enjoyed reading this. I found most of the poetry in FT #18 unremarkable with the exception of AFTER THE FIRE by Dovya Blacque which is all the more lovely because of the beautiful Pat Horowitz Spock that accompanies it. Other art that stands out is a Kirk by DEW on page 54 and a Spock by Chris Soto on page 93. First Time #18 stands up well when held against the other more recent issues of FT, but each time I pick up a new issue, I find myself hoping that it's more in the first seven issues of FT. This is not a bad zine, in fact, I recommend it, but more interesting plots that are better written would be greatly welcomed.^[20]

Issue 19

back cover issue #19, 1st edition by Marilyn Cole

front cover issue #19, 1st edition by Marilyn Cole -- "We must mention Marilyn Cole for her lovely covers. I've held off a while in using these since I didn't want you to get confused with some of the other zines she frequently works with. But since she's cut back on her artwork lately and you won't see as much.... I had this idea and well, you know. Here they are anyway. Aren't they... intreguing? [sic]. Okay, So TELL HER SO!!" ^[21]

First Time 19 was published in September 1988 and contains 183 pages.

It won several 1988 Surak Awards.

The interior art by Dragon, Caro Hedge, Sarah B. Leonard, Chris Soto, Suki, Kay Wells, and Jackie Zoost.

From the editorial: "This zine shouldn't insult anyone who believes in IDIC and if they don't then the hell with them!"

First Time, poem (1)
To Catch a Unicorn - Robin Hood (Finding love on a planet of intelligent “horses”. "That was quite a mission, Spock. They were such beautiful aliens, more beautiful since they looked just like my favorite animals. Imagine sentient beings that look exactly like horses. And their fascination with you. Breathing in your scent every chance they got, even the kids . . . colts. Ruffling your hair with muzzles you said felt softer than Truth wings. And that young male who was in love with you. Yes, he was, don't argue with me.") (4)
Chains, poem by Cybel Harper (6)
Sunless Sea, poem by Jo Hardy (7)
The Ewing Syndrome - Janis E. Laine (Spock daydreams of what could be while preparing to beam down on Vulcan for his marriage to T'Pring. "The cabin door whispered shut behind him and Spock leaned against it, fumbling blindly for the privacy lock. Even before T'Pring had appeared on the viewscreen to speak the ritual greeting, he sensed something was amiss. He attributed the foreboding to mutual prenuptial apprehensions jitters, as Dr. McCoy phrased it with a sly dig to Spock's ribs. But when he arrived at the ceremonial grounds, his fears proved entirely justified. T'Pring had chosen the Challenge.") (8)
Fear of Night, poem by Ciana Sepulveda-Mitchell (15)
Assumptions - Kay Wells (p. 16-42). (Spock and Kirk are forced to have sex in order to appease the god of a primitive culture while stranded on their planet. "A sea of reddish-brown humanoids, becoming more numerous by the minute, jumped around excitedly, emitting sharp grunting sounds and baring sharp pink teeth. They appeared quite identical, each head topped with a flopping ball of frizzy orange hair. One of the natives, apparently braver than the rest, ventured forward holding out the blunt end of his spear as if to touch Kirk. A security guard immediately jumped between, phaser pointed. "Captain," Spock reminded, reaching for the phaser, "the prime directive." Too late. The guard fired at point-blank range as Kirk lunged forward.") (16)
Fairy Magic, poem by Anne Fitzgibbons (43)
Unforgiven, poem by Chris Soto (44)
Secrets of the Heart - Cybel Harper (Kirk doesnʼt understand why Spock has been acting so tense around him. "What's wrong with him, Bones?" Kirk asked as he paced back and forth across the doctor's cabin. "What's wrong with who?" "Spock, of course," Kirk said, as if the answer should have been obvious. Of course, the doctor thought with a mental sigh. Who else?")
In the Name of Love - Charlotte Frost (After Spock is sexually tortured, Kirk teaches him self-gratification. "The base was in ruins, wisps of smoke rising from the remains of the building. Even as the transporter beam released him, James Kirk could smell the putrid odor of destruction. "There must be survivors," he whispered determinedly to the guards and medical personnel surrounding him. His mouth firmed to a thin line. "You have your orders. Move out! Look for Vulcan readings!") (46)
Goodbye, poem by Cybel Harper (91)
The Seed of Truth - Marion Graham (After the fal tor pan, Kirk decides to not repeat the mistakes and missed chances of the past between him and Spock. "He stood leaning his forehead against the cool glass. The sky outside was a shifting mass of pewter clouds; the fog below a roiling monochrome of gray. Everywhere he looked was devoid of distinguishing features, color, substance. He felt as though he was looking into a mirror.") (92)
Love in a Vacuum, poem by Cybel Harper (97)
Star Vow - Charmen Tramen (After VʼGer, Kirk demands to know Spockʼs reason for leaving him at the end of the five-year mission. "The Vulcan motioned to a chair. "You have been troubled since we witnessed the transcendence. I have sensed that." "That's part of it, I suppose," Kirk admitted. "I don't know if we witnessed an ending, or a beginning." Hazel eyes darted to the Vulcan face then quickly away. "I feel the same way about our friendship. Three years ago I thought it had ended . . . . Now that you intend to remain in Starfleet, I want to believe it's begun again. If we're to serve together, Spock, there are things I need to resolve.") (98)
Blended Blood, poem by Robin Hood (108)
Last First Time - Elizabeth Scott (Spock repeatedly removes Kirkʼs memories of their times together at Kirkʼs request. "It was the first time Kirk wouldn't supervise 'putting the Enterprise down to nap' as the crew called it. He and Spock had done it together for the past three years It was a time Kirk enjoyed. Walking the quiet corridors with his first officer, the ship still and peaceful waiting for all the crew to come home from their adventures. He sighed. Spock had been so adamant. He'd always thought the Vulcan welcomed that time of friendship, of closeness.") (110)
Thin Ice - Emily Adams (Kirk sees simularities of his relationship with Spock in a “movie” the whole crew had been telling him to see, so he asks Spock to see it. "What's going on, Uhura?" Kirk asked. She blinked as if coming out of a daze. "Oh, Captain," she smiled. "Nothing, really. We just got out of a movie called 'The Solution." Have you seen it?" "No," he admitted, "although I've heard it's god. Did you enjoy it?" "Oh, yes. The ending is sad though. But you should see it.") (136)
Born to Fire, poem by Jo Hardy (155)
River Rising - Martha Selena Brown (Kirk has hysterical amnesia and paralysis after an accident. "He didn't know why he was running his finger over the outline of Spock's mouth; whys were among the many things he wasn't worried about. The deep brown eyes looking at him, the strong hands holding one of his, were a source of infinite satisfaction and he smiled as his finger traced again those precise lips, now open.") (156)
Gift, The Tip, poems by Sarah B. Leonard (182)
If Your Heart Were the Prize, poem by Janis E. Laine (183)

interior page from issue #19, Suki for "River Rising"
interior page from issue #19, Kay Wells for "Assumptions"
interior page from issue #19, Chris Soto
interior page from issue #19, Dragon
interior page from issue #19, Sarah B. Leonard for "In the Name of Love"
interior page from issue #19, Jackie Zoost for "Seed of Truth"
interior page from issue #19, Dragon for "Thin Ice"
interior page from issue #19, Dragon for "Thin Ice"

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 19

See comments for Thin Ice.

See comments for River Rising.

See comments for In the Name of Love.

See comments for Assumptions.

See reactions and reviews for To Catch a Unicorn.

See reactions and reviews for The Ewing Syndrome.

See reactions and reviews for Last First Time.

See reactions and reviews for Star Vow.

See reactions and reviews for The Seed of Truth.

See reactions and reviews for Secrets of the Heart.

Issue 20

back cover issue #20, 1st edition by Chris Soto (from Velvet Deceptions)

front cover issue #20, 1st edition by Chris Soto (from Velvet Deceptions)

First Time 20 was published in December 1988 and contains 199 pages.

It won several 1988 Surak Awards, including Best Art on the covers by Chris Soto.

Interior art is by Alayne, Dragon, Chris Soto, and Kay Wells.

First Kiss, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (1)
Semantics - Emily Adams (Spockʼs understanding of a new culture from the lack of certain words in their language leads to him and Kirk being able to finally understand what their feelings for each other really are. "But, Spock, how could you know that your life wasn't in danger? These people this whole civilization goes against every belief we have. How could you trust G'Thendis that way?" "Because their customs and mores differ considerably from our own does not automatically prove them to be without honor.") (4)
Velvet Deceptions - Robert Haga (novella) (A/U: Kirk, a ranger in Starfleet, is assigned to transport a prince of Vulcan to his marriage but is surprised by an adult Vulcan he thinks is there as “the kidʼs” guard. "A shadow slipped through the moonlit night, making its way soundlessly through extensive and well- manicured gardens to a large, ornate verandah. There was no reason to worry about its being seen; still, the shadow entered through a side door to slip unnoticed into the huge, three-story house. "Where the hell have you been?" came the instant greeting upon the female's recognition of her caller. Captain James Kirk chuckled, bent to place a kiss on one perfumed shoulder, then pulled one hand across the woman's flat abdomen as he stepped into her spacious four-room suite. "Is that any way to greet your favorite lay?") (10)
Goodbye, poem Cybel Harper (88)
The Rest is Silence, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (89)
No Better Mirror - Charlotte Frost The author says it was inspired by The Gol Letters by Carlin Thorne in Naked Times #18. (After VʼGer, Kirk and Spock work to rebuild their friendship, which eventually shows itself as the love they have both denied. "Kirk lay on his bed, listening contentedly to the humming of the engines. His hands were folded across his stomach and his eyes were open, staring into darkness. For a moment, he could almost imagine that everything was as it used to be. Almost.") (90)
I Love Dreaming, poem by Tere Ann Roderick (127)
Snowbond - Janis E. Laine (Kirk invites Spock to his cabin for shoreleave where both, unaware of what the other plans, try to further their relationship. "No." "What?" "No, Sir," the Vulcan amended. "But look, Spock," Jim Kirk coaxed, "it'll only be for three days. How much trouble could we possibly get into?") (128)
God Rising, poem by Robin Hood (141)

King of the Shimrah Raiders - Addison Reed (Abandoned on the planet he had been sent to on a covert mission, Kirk survives as leader of the people there until Spock arrives. "The basis for the succeeding account, translated from the native, was found hidden in the Hall of Archives of the planet Tohhran during an expedition ten years following the rescue of its civilization from the Klingon Empire, Federation Stardate 3187.0. It details the daring attempts to repel the Klingon forces by a small group of rebels headquartered in the hostile Shimrah Mountain Range. And of their mysterious leader, the man they called King.") (142)
Brother to a Dragon - Dovya Blacque [Also in Shadows in the Rain]. (Kirk is upset when he suddenly finds out that Spock has a brother, Seth, who Kirk meets at an exhibit of the manʼs artwork. "A lie by omission is still a lie. I cannot say why I never spoke of this, why I never told Jim about Seth. Perhaps if I had, matters would never have occurred as they did; perhaps the confusion and feelings of betrayal and guilt would have been avoided for us all. Yet, the truth . . . . Yes, the truth is that I never spoke of Seth, not to Jim . . . nor to anyone else.") (172)
A Visit from St. Nicholas, poem by Janis E. Laine (199)

Kay Wells is the artist for Snowbond. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

interior page from issue #20, sample text
interior page from issue #20, Kay Wells for "Velvet Deceptions"
interior page from issue #20, Kay Wells for "Velvet Deceptions"
interior page from issue #20, Kay Wells for "Velvet Deceptions"
interior page from issue #20, Chris Soto for "Velvet Deceptions"
interior page from issue #20, Dragon for "King of the Shimrah Raiders"
interior page from issue #20, Alayne for "Brother to a Dragon"
interior page from issue #20, Dragon for "King of the Shimrah Raiders"

Reactions and Reviews: Issue 20

See reactions and reviews for King of the Shimrah Raiders.

See reactions and reviews for Semantics.

See reactions and reviews for No Better Mirror.

See reactions and reviews for Brother to a Dragon.

See reactions and reviews for Snowbond.

[zine]: While there are only 6 stories, the zine is over 200 pages and reduced at that. Ms. Hood has outdone herself this time. From the incredible covers by Soto to the last story by Dovya Blacque, the zine is more than a good read. It is an excellent read. If you think you've been burned out by K/S, then this is the zine for you. SEMANTICS is short but fun. Kirk and Spock get caught in the tangle of word meanings. It's the trip, stumble and above all, the fall that's the most fun! SNOWBOUND while certainly a well used story line, is saved by its excellent writing and great ending. NO BETTER MIRROR by Charlotte Frost is a long story that tells the first year in Kirk's and Spock's relationship. It is well written, not exciting but leaves the reader with a sweet feeling. One of Charlotte's better stories. BROTHER TO A DRAGON by Dovya Blacque, I understand written before the plot to ST V was known, is poetry as only Ms. Blacque can write, in a different style, witn an understanding of Spock that surpasses most, she opens his closed personality with ease, giving us a most unusual glimpse into Vulcans and that special one even more. Surak nomination? There are a lot to pick from in this zine. VELVET DECEPTIONS Alternate universe characters that go with the glorious covers and while not the traditional Kirk and Spock, Ms. Haga manages to keep them completely within my ideas of their character. Long haired, and wild, Kirk is still James Kirk and you will love this story. Hot and steamy! KIRK OF THE SHIMRAH RAIDERS by Addison Reed. I thought that in WTM, Second Action by the same author would be unsurpassed this year, I was wrong. This story has heart, writing, nice art by Dragon, a scruffy Kirk and above all, PLOT! A definite must for anyone on the edge of burnout. This zine, printed on what appears to be a laser printer, is slick and thick. My vote for the best of year.^[22]

[art by Kay Wells on page 140]: My god! Even though I'm no K/S-erotica virgin (or any other kind), this drawing about made me faint. Kirk's penis, Spock's mouth. Beautiful.^[23]

References

^ from Datazine #49
^ from The LOC Connection #13
^ from The LOC Connection #10
^ from Datazine #49
^ from the editorial of Scattered Stars #8
^ from The K/S Press #64
^ from The K/S Press #64
^ from The K/S Press #64
^ from a much longer review in On the Double #6
^ the first half of a very, very, very long review from Datazine #51
^ from The LOC Connection #10
^ from The LOC Connection #10
^ from The K/S Press #4
^ from Datazine #53
^ from On the Double #10
^ from Come Together #16
^ from The K/S Press #114
^ review by Jacqueline Lichtenberg from Treklink #13
^ from Datazine #57
^ from On the Double #9
^ from the editor in the editorial
^ from On the Double #10
^ from Come Together #19

[1] rom Datazine #49

[2] rom The LOC Connection #13

[3] rom The LOC Connection #10

[4] rom Datazine #49

[5] rom the editorial of Scattered Stars #8

[6] rom The K/S Press #64

[7] rom The K/S Press #64

[8] rom The K/S Press #64

[9] rom a much longer review in On the Double #6

[10] the first half of a very, very, very long review from Datazine #51

[11] rom The LOC Connection #10

[12] rom The LOC Connection #10

[13] rom The K/S Press #4

[14] rom Datazine #53

[15] rom On the Double #10

[16] rom Come Together #16

[17] rom The K/S Press #114

[18] review by Jacqueline Lichtenberg from Treklink #13

[19] rom Datazine #57

[20] rom On the Double #9

[21] rom the editor in the editorial

[22] rom On the Double #10

[23] rom Come Together #19

[1]

[2]

[3]

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