Forever True

Zine
Title:	Forever True
Publisher:	Keynote Press
Editor:
Author(s):	Elizabeth Holden
Cover Artist(s):	Jean Kluge
Illustrator(s):
Date(s):	October 1997
Series?:	no
Medium:	print zine
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Professionals
Language:	English
External Links:	on AO3 here; available in PDF format here; & online flyers
cover by Jean Kluge; the art was titled "Longing"
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Forever True is a 130-page slash Professionals novel by Elizabeth Holden. The cover is not credited, but it is by Jean Kluge .

The zine required an age statement to order.

The novel is unusual in Pros fandom in that one of the main characters, Doyle, is married, despite it being a Bodie/Doyle story. While some fans loved the concept and the way it was handled, others really did not.

Summary

Summary from the zine's flyer: "When Inspector Doyle of the Metropolitan London CTD is assigned a case with Bodie of CI5, the working partnership blossoms into something more passionate. Will the relationship be destroyed by the enemies who attack them, or by the contrary forces of their personal lives?"

Summary from The Hatstand: "An alternate universe novel featuring Bodie as a CI5 agent and Doyle as an officer in the Met who meet when they're assigned to work on a case together. They fall in love, a situation that's problematical because Doyle is married and has children. The pairings are Bodie/Doyle and Doyle/OFC."

Excerpt from the Flyer

Bodie was standing with his back to the room, staring out the window which, in daylight, overlooked the back garden and the back gardens of the neighbours.

Doyle said, "Bodie? Are you all right?"

"No," said Bodie, in a low voice.

Doyle went to him, gripped him by the arm, turning him around so Bodie would have no choice but to look at him. "Bodie? What's wrong?"

"What do you think might be wrong?" Bodie's face was harsh, his voice tight. There was blood still trickling down his cheek. "I'm bloody terrified, that's all. Afraid you'll leave me for good. For her."

Doyle touched Bodie's cheek tenderly. "Is that all?"

"All?"

"It won't happen, mate. I promise you."

"Don't,' said Bodie. "Don't make promises. Do what you can, do what you must, but don't make promises."

"All right," said Doyle. "Just remember something. I love you. Don't underestimate my love for you."

Bodie did not answer, except with the expression in his eyes.

Doyle kissed him on the mouth, an intense, demanding kiss that in other, better circumstances would have started something. This time it could lead to nothing. Doyle walked back into the sitting room.

Bodie, in the kitchen, heard the front door close.

He sat in a kitchen chair, at his round wooden table, and put his head in his hands. He sat there for a long time, not moving, barely breathing. It was almost morning when he went to lie in the bed where so recently Doyle had been with him, and he found he could not sleep with the memory.

Reactions and Reviews

ZebraCon 1997

Forever True debuted at ZebraCon 1997, which Elizabeth attended with her friend and publisher M. Gibson of Keynote Press, but according to Elizabeth, the subject matter proved unpopular with some other attendees.

"[M] had other zines she was selling as well, but this was the new one she was featuring. On the first day of the con, a fan who had heard what the story was about stood outside the door of the [dealer's] room, intercepting people and telling them not to buy the zine because it was so terrible."

When asked how much this fan knew about the story, Elizabeth said:

"I don't think she had even read it. It was hot off the presses and [M] wasn't handing out advanced copies. She seemed to know how it ended, so she must have looked at it, but there's no chance she would have had time to read it."

Unknown Date

An AU how-they-met story. I have personal issues with this zine. I think Elizabeth Holden is a fine writer, but I do have issues with some of the central building blocks of the story.

Bodie is in CI5, but Doyle is an Inspector in CID Met. They are assigned to jointly look into a case and are mutually attracted. However, there are considerable complications, not least being that Doyle is married! I found it difficult to known quite what to make of this zine because it is actually very well written and the growing attraction and love between Bodie and Doyle makes for great reading. I have an underlying desire for Bodie and Doyle to be together, that's why I read and write slash, but, and this is a big but, I'm not happy to condone adultery and deceit to achieve this. It's not that I believe in the sanctity of marriage above all else, but I do believe in trust, commitment and responsibility, and with a wife he loves and children he adores, Ray Doyle knew that he was playing with fire by permitting his desire for Bodie to rule him. It doesn't seem to be in character with the Doyle of CI5 to play fast and loose with the affections of two people he claims to love. Doyle can be selfish, but he's also very loyal to those he cares about. I can see him finding himself in love with Bodie, but I sense that guilt would ensure that he'd reject any thought of pursuing that love rather than trying to have his cake and eat it. I also have to question Bodie's characterisation. Would the Bodie I see on screen submit to playing second string to another woman? I don't think so. Bodie is shown as supremely confident in both his own desirability and in his ability to attract and bed the women he wants. That Bodie isn't the type to share anything, least of all a lover he cares strongly for. Then we have Doyle's wife, Cheryl. I both liked her and felt extremely sorry for her. To find that your, much loved, husband is not only being unfaithful, but has declared himself unable to live without the other, who turns out to be a man, is not something I'd like to handle and I certainly wouldn't have coped in such a dignified manner as she did either! Perhaps if a threesome had been suggested it might have made a difference. I don't know, but if I'd been Cheryl I'd sure like to have found out. :-) So would I recommend this story? It's worth reading, but..

1997

"Forever True" was really good but I suffered with them when Bodie discovered Doyle's secret. Not one of my favorite happenings.

*please* don't read past the spoiler line below. You really need to experience the surprise in the novel for yourself. (The fact is, you'll be hooked by then.) All right?

SPOILER SPACE

Okay. Now I understand completely why [D] won't read this novel, and I expect there are others who will feel the same. In truth, if I had known the premise to begin with...I would have read it, but I would have been wary. (Elizabeth, the rat, wouldn't tell me what it was. Just kept worrying over other people's responses and leaving me terribly intrigued.)

Yes, Doyle is *happily* married, with kids, when he meets Bodie and falls in love. No, he won't leave his wife and children (and they don't get conveniently blown up by the guys stalking Bodie and Doyle), and it's okay.

It's more than okay. Elizabeth manages to convince you that her ending is the best possible one, and everyone is, if not completely happy, then at least content. Very content. As she puts it, if Doyle had left his wife and kids to go to Bodie, then he would have been incomplete, less than he was. Bodie recognizes that, doesn't want it, and learns to live with it. By the same token, Doyle's wife realizes the same thing about Bodie and Doyle, and learns to accept it. Improbable? Perhaps. But wonderful nevertheless. (And, frankly, Cheryl has the harder job of it. Doyle could live without her, I think -- damaged, but he'd live. But the story seems to be saying that Doyle couldn't even live without Bodie. Naturally, I approve of that. ;-) )

To my mind, that's the sign of a well-written novel--to take a premise that is difficult to accept, carry it through to its logical conclusion, and leave the reader feeling convinced and happy for the characters. I liked Doyle's wife, I liked his kids, I liked Bodie and how he responded to the situation. It's a wonderful read. And I'm *not* a very open-minded person when it comes to Bodie and Doyle -- I figure they should be together exclusively, but this story worked for me. Completely. What higher praise can I give it?

Oh there is one thing more. I made the mistake of starting "Forever True" in the airport, and reading it on the flight. Naturally, I reached the first big sex scene just as my plane was landing. Most inconvenient. Very frustrating. Let's just say that Elizabeth's sex scenes are...compelling. ;-)

I hope, if you've gone ahead and read the spoilers without reading the zine, that you'll give "Forever True" a fair reading. It's great. You'll fall right into the story, and it'll all work within it's own environment. Promise.

1998

I think this is one of the most daring pieces of fan fiction I've seen in some time. It violates unspoken fan taboos in a big way, and makes as strong a case as can be made for this. I don't buy it, but it's certainly a worthy experiment.

I recently read "Forever True" and I found it a really really good and useful, but extremely difficult, read. Why? Well, I have been in RL in the same position as Bodie is in the story.

In my case, I simply could not cope and had to get out of it -- and even if it was almost three years ago I still haven't gotten over the psychological damage. It has been a majorly bad experience, and also much messier on a social level (it is umbelievable how things are all related in one's social existence guys -- and when something negative/complicated happens, it is domino effect time).

However, I did not throw the zine away when I found out what I was reading -- despite preservation instinct told me I maybe should have 8-). In the end, I am happy I did not, because I think it was a very useful and somehow cathartic reading -- and I have to thank Elizabeth for it.

Given the premises, you understand I do NOT at all accept or like the situation that the zine presents -- yet I found that the reasons and psychology of the characters were complex and believable enough to allow me to try and see the situation from all the different points of view, (this is the cathartic part, since it helped to see my RL situation from the other people's point of view, and in this way it gave me the opportunity to grasp more of the implications of what happened to me, and the arguments and reasons of the person in Doyle's situation).

I still am in my former position: I do not at all condone Doyle's position, and I am not sure I understand it despite all my efforts -- yet I know from experience that such a position exists in RL, and now after reading the zine I also can glimpse a little bit of what *might* have been going on in this person's head.

For what concerns Bodie's position, well, I was too busy identifying furiously and reading myself into the character to be able to comment intelligently on the plausibility of his portrayal -- I think that despite all of his good intentions to settle for half a loaf, he would end up blowing it nastily (and so would the woman too). I found that in these cases the more you have the more you want -- but of course this is my take on the experience so I cannot really say. Maybe there are people who can settle with this solution, and surely Elizabeth presents them convincingly, and in a way that made me think a lot -- I just am not one of them.

In short, to sum up, I think that Forever True is a very good treatment of a really difficult argument, and it helped me to grapple with it at a deep and personal level-not changing my ideas but engaging with them and making them more articulate complex and hopefully understanding. I want to thank Elizabeth for writing this novel.

Let me start out by saying that I *loved* this zine.

"Forever True" is an a/u Professionals novel, set in a universe where Bodie's life with CI5 is very similar to what we've seen on the series, the major exception being that he's partnered with Susan Fisher. It is set in 1983(ish) and Ray Doyle is now a CID Detective Inspector who answers a "shots fired" call and finds a CI5 operation in progress. Afterwards, Bodie and Doyle end up working together on a joint Scotland Yard/CI5 operation, which is where their friendship (and then relationship) begins.

Of course, no relationship can be completely without problems (at least no relationship *I* want to read about <g>), and Bodie and Doyle have their share of obstacles to overcome. While their case plays an important part in the early portions of the story, I consider "Forever True" to be mostly a relationship piece. True to my experience with real-life men, while Bodie and Doyle may *think* about their newly discovered feelings, they don't discuss them exhaustively.

Elizabeth's Bodie is very clearly the same man I know and love from the episodes. She has taken the supposition that Doyle was never recruited into CI5 and evolved his character from that point, resulting in a very familiar Ray Doyle who is merely a few degrees off what I'm used to--very believable and still close enough that the rapport he develops with Bodie is completely convincing.

Despite that rapport and their mutual attraction, all is not hearts and flowers with the lads. They face several difficulties, the first of which sparked a late-night email to Elizabeth that consisted mainly of whining ("How could you *do* that?!"). In retrospect, I love her for it.

As I was reading, I realized that the death threats Doyle had been receiving in conjunction with the case could have easily been used as a cop-out, a way to overcome obstacles without actually having the characters grow or deal with the emotional consequences of their actions, and I was inordinately glad that Elizabeth chose not to take the easy road. (I was equally glad that she resisted the obvious joke about the kidnapped linguist Bodie and Doyle were searching for... <g>)

In fact, one of the best things about "Forever True" was her refusal to take the easy road on any issue; far too many stories assume that emotional pain and heartache can be cured within 5 pages with the aid of "true love."

Elizabeth allows the characters to work through their problems, learn the give-and-take and compromise that come from truly being in love. She didn't skimp on the angst, she didn't gloss over the difficulties and just assume that everyone could deal with the situation without any emotional hardship, she didn't paint everything as rosy...in short, it was perfect, beautiful, ideal by virtue of *not* being perfect, beautiful or ideal.

1999

I loved it. It's one of my favourite slash stories. I was NOT expecting the twist, when it came... I think I could dislike the Bodie or the Doyle in a story and still like the story. However, I didn't particularly dislike either character in Forever True - I thought they were true to themselves as created for this story, and my initial reaction to this fine story was to guess that on this occasion the author certainly couldn't be accused of using Rose Tinted Spectacles to view the world.

Forever True went straight into my re-sale pile of zines. The characters were too far out of true for me. The writing is competent and the storyline interesting but it had little to do with The Lads as I see 'em.

I haven't seen a review for Elizabeth Holden's Forever True since I've been hanging around the Pros universe, so I felt compelled to write one. I'm a little daunted by the task, since I don't want to give away any of Elizabeth's wonderful plot twists. This review will be as close to spoiler-free as I can possibly make it, though. Let me start out by saying that I loved this zine.

Forever True is an A/U Professionals novel, set in a universe where Bodie's life with CI5 is very similar to what we've seen on the series, the major exception being that he's partnered with Susan Fisher. It is set in 1983 (ish) and Ray Doyle is now a CID Detective Inspector who answers a 'shots fired' call and finds a CI5 operation in progress. Afterwards, Bodie and Doyle end up working together on a joint Scotland Yaid/CI5 operation, which is where their friendship (and then relationship) begins. Of course, no relationship can be completely without problems (at least no relationship I want to read about) and Bodie and Doyle have their share of obstacles to overcome. While their case plays an important part in the early portions of the story, I consider Forever True to be mostly a relationship piece. True to my experience with real-life men, while Bodie and Doyle may think about their newly discovered feelings, they don't discuss them exhaustively. Elizabeth's Bodie is very clearly the same man I know and love from the episodes. She has taken the supposition that Doyle was never recruited into CI5 and evolved his character from that point, resulting in a very familiar Ray Doyle who is merely a few degrees off what I'm used to - very believable, and still close enough that the rapport he develops with Bodie is completely convincing. Despite that rapport and their mutual attraction, all is not hearts and flowers with the lads. They face several difficulties, the first of which sparked [my] late-night e-mail to Elizabeth that consisted mainly of whining, "How could you do that?" In retrospect, I love her for it.

As I was reading, I realised that the death threats Doyle had been receiving in conjunction with the case could have easily been used as a cop-out, a way to overcome obstacles without actually having the characters grow or deal with the emotional consequences of their actions, and I was inordinately glad that Elizabeth chose not to take the easy road (I was equally glad that, she resisted the obvious joke about the kidnapped linguist Bodie and Doyle were searching for. In fact, one of the best things about Forever True was her refusal to take the easy road on any issue; far too many stories assume that emotional pain and heartache can be cured within five pages with the aid of 'true love'. Elizabeth allows the characters to work through their problems, learn the give-and-take and compromise that come from truly being in love. She didn't skimp on the angst, she didn't gloss over the difficulties and just assume that everyone could deal with the situation without any emotional hardship, she didn't paint everything as rosy... In short, it was perfect, beautiful, ideal, by virtue of not being perfect, beautiful or ideal.

2000

I had no idea that my comments on Forever True would cause so many ripples. During all my time in Professionals fandom, it's only about the third full-length story which I disliked completely before I had finished reading it. Not because it is badly written - it isn't But the storyline, combined with what was, to me, the distortion of Bodie's and Doyle's characters, had the same effect on me as nails being run down a blackboard! It's not just that Doyle is married, it's his whole attitude to both his wife, Cheryl, and Bodie. He doesn't deserve either of them. Take the cruel, cowardly way Doyle lets Bodie find out that he is not only married but has three children. You can't say he told Bodie face to face. He just dropped Bodie in it by taking him home. Then he proceeded to watch and see whether Bodie would sink or swim I agree with Bodie's thought during this meeting with Doyle's family: "You bastard. You led me on." I don't like the idea of Bodie's being Doyle's *bit on the side*. And I wanted to shake Doyle's wife -no woman would be as tolerant of her husband's affair, especially when it's with another man. Plus, I don't think Bodie's pride would put up with a married Doyle who wouldn't leave his wife and children for him. There was no give in Doyle at all; it was Bodie and Cheryl who did all the compromising. In my opinion, he left them both short-changed. And at the slightest pressure from either, he threw a tantrum, threatening to leave one for the other, playing the two people he 'loved' off each other. If I had been Cheryl, I wouldn't have asked Bodie to come to the pantomime - I would have already felt we were living one out. If the author was looking for a strong reaction to her story, she certainly got one! The triangle of Doyle's 'love' life drowned out most of the rest of the story for me, however, leaving me itching for Bodie to flatten the twerp Doyle had become.

It's indeed a tribute to the power of the writing, asjude suggests, that the author should have provoked such a strong reaction with her novel. As a point of interest, you might like to know that Elizabeth told me she wrote about this particular situation because she'd been challenged to do so, and to make it as believable as possible. On that ground, I think she did rather a splendid job; which is to say, I wouldn't have written it myself but if it's going to be done at all, "Forever True" does about as good a job as anything could. For myself, while I agree with much of what [J] says, I do think that the characters actually behave remarkably well in an impossible situation. Doyle not (wholly) excluded. My main complaint against him is not that he falls in love with Bodie but that he allows himself ever to see Bodie again (in other than a professional capacity, I mean) once he realises they're falling for each other. Then again, if he'd done that, there'd have been no novel to unfold... which comes perilously close to saying this author should not have written X', and I loathe the idea of seeming to dictate what authors 'may or 'may not' write - As you see, I'm in two (or three, or four) minds about this novel. So what do the rest of you think?

2006

This is one of my favourite zines. It's not an easy read, for reasons that become quickly apparent, but it's a beautiful, passionate read and I adore it. Holden makes you think. Like alot of the best Pros authors she takes a situation which could actually arise, and considers how it might resolve, given the characters of Bodie and Doyle.

I adore this story - it's not all fluff and sunshine, but it's full of feeling and heart and people being people, and... I hope you like it too! *g*

2011

I did manage to finish it last night. I really wanted to like the story but ... I ended up being rather disappointed by it. Technical-wise, the writing was great! It's just ... something about the way the story played out. It seemed to become less and less believable to me. By the end, I felt like slapping everyone involved and telling them all to grow some self-respect! *lol* (I'm guessing I'm in a very small minority that feels this way though.)

Oh I think it's absolutely believable because it deals with the greys and reds in life - it's about that kind of passion that can't "grow some self-respect", because it's just so overwhelming, it's about feelings that are so strong they overcome "good sense", and it's that passion that I adore, that depth of feeling... But it'll be rare indeed that everyone in the fandom agreed on one particular story! *g*

It is a fantastic story, I love the way she totally steamrollers just everybody with the fact that Doyle is married.

In my opinion, Bodie is a bit too soft hearted, kinda giving up on Ray because he wouldn´t be happy. That´s not exactly how I see the character of Bodie, I thought he´d be fighting to have Ray for himself, discouvering later on that it wouldn´t work out at all.

And Cowley asking a married man with three children to join the A-Squad? I can´t really picture it, but he´s taking what he can get, no matter the consequences. On the other hand, the fact that giving up part of what you want yourself for the sake of your loved one really gives me that warm fluffy feeling I crave in stories. And it was written so wonderful, I kept waiting for Bodie to claim Ray, and I was sure Ray would give in, but then everything went well and all lived happily ever after.

All in all a wonderful story, full of the oh no´s you promised!!

2013

Why this must be read: This is a long, lush story of absolute passion between our lads. They are uncompromisingly fated to be together, and when they are it's like coming home. I'm so pleased to see this finally online! Elizabeth Holden has a very straightforward writing style - there are few words to spare - but there is no doubting that our lads have to be together in this story, even though Doyle is... well - you should go and read what Doyle is. Forever True is a heart-wrenching, joyous rush of a novel that I can rarely put down once I've picked it up...