Choices (Star Trek: TOS zine)

For other fanworks of the same name, see Choice.

Zine
Title:	Choices
Publisher:
Editor:
Author(s):	Gayle F
Cover Artist(s):	Gayle F
Illustrator(s):	Gayle F
Date(s):	1986
Medium:	print
Size:
Genre:
Fandom:	Star Trek: TOS
Language:	English
External Links:	Choices at AO3
Click here for related articles on Fanlore.

Choices is a Kirk/Spock slash 126-page novel written and illustrated by Gayle F. It is an AU in which Spock never went to Gol.

front cover of Choices, art by Gayle F

back cover of Choices, art by Gayle F

Art has been included on Fanlore with the artist's permission.

Chapter Titles and Poems

• Conversations
• The View
• Confrontation
• Return (poem)
• Sweet Revenge (poem)
• Retaliation (poem)
• Starbase (poem)
• Captive (poem)
• Burnout
• Aftermath
• Consultation
• Isle of Rock
• Isle of Light
• Completion

Summary

Author's summary:

I felt that Spock grew and matured over the course of the five year mission and became more accepting of himself. I wanted to follow that Spock...

From the Editorial

The genesis of CHOICES was curious. It was, as so many K/S tales are, first a fantasy...a fragment of a fantasy. After floating around for a number of years, in its rather nebulous form, it one day inspired a cover illustration for another editor. An illustration only indirectly related to the fantasy. The illo in turn reinspired the fantasy. I asked myself "How would it be possible....?", and the next thing I knew, I was in the middle of The Bridge. Then I asked the fatal question, "What happens next?", and CHOICES was launched. I've worked on it for a year, off and on. I hope you will enjoy reading the series as much as I did writing it.

The fanzine is a little late. Some of this is in the nature of fanzines, which always seem to take longer than planned to produce. A good chunk of the delay may be laid at the door of my original color printer. This man managed to leaf through Mirrors of Mind and Flesh, The Price and The Prize, Greater California K/S, and T'hy'La without noticing anything explicit enough to bother him. He seemed bemused but accepting of the project. Then, when I brought in my color art, he announced he couldn't print it. Upsetting in the waste of time, and the additional expense, but who wants a blind printer?

To give credit where credit is due, I must give praise to Whirlaway, the family computer, without whose presence I would never have attempted another fanzine. Praise also for my husband, [name redacted], for his help in formatting and translating 'twixt one computer and another, and to Ruth Lym and the Lym Laser Writer, for the camera ready print out of the text. I also want to acknowledge Carol Frisbie and Tashery Shannon for their invaluable critiques, and to Pat Diggs, Alta Brewer, Kathy Resch, and Noel Silva for proofing, commentary, support both moral and amoral, and other assistance. Thankee one and all.

Gallery -- Non-Explicit

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  unpublished art for the zine by Gayle F. It is a custom-colored watercolor painting in green, purple and blue with metallic gold accents. 5½ x 9. Custom matted in metallic gold, green and purple, 12 x 15.

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  interior art

Gallery -- Explicit

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  interior art.Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

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  interior art. Note: Marked as sexually explicit; minimized.

Reactions and Reviews

1986

Gayle F has put out a new K/S zine. 'Choices' of her own writing and illos, some of which are in color, as is the front cover. What better news could there be for fans who enjoy an erotic, well-written K/S story? And that is exactly what you will receive when you order this zine. Highly recommended.

As a long time admirer of Gayle F's singular artwork, I was intrigued by the very prospect of this K/S zine, the first example of her writing I'd had the pleasure to encounter. I am pleased to say that 'Choices' delivered well on promised implied. Using an engaging and well-conceived plot line, the author cleverly leads the readers through the twisting of a complicated relationship as it develops between Kirk and Spock. The sexual content is very explicit, but well-placed and important to the premise. Erotic encounters are frequent and tasteful (as the genre allows) and with the possible exception of a single rape scene, they proved very exciting. My complaint with that rape has more to do with my dislike of the use of pon farr as a simple plot complication than with the graphic and implied violence. Exotic locals serve well throughout the story, beautifully evoked and carefully detailed. One can detect the sensibilities of an artist in the author's descriptions. Lovers of the Enterprise and her routine will find the ship receiving small share of the action and supporting roles are limited to a few very nicely don encounters. Consider this line from the second page: 'Spock watched as the Doctor bounced on his toes twice then, thankfully, turned his penetrating gaze back to the duo at the bar.' Can't you just see it? This consideration of personality is appreciably maintained throughout the story. Typeface throughout is clear and precise, and I found less than half a dozen typos on a casual read through. Illustrations are generous, absolutely excellent in the Gayle F style, and the cover and two interior illos are in lush full-color. Several pieces of poetry fill out the bill but weren't particularly relevant. A nice additions for fans of poetry, which I am not. The only possible complaint I can field is more of an observation. The price ($24) seems a bit high, even considering the quality reproduction. There is now question Gayle F knows the K/S audience well and what the market will bear. A very enjoyable zine, and a nice addition to any fan's collection.

1987

From the moment you look at this zine, you have a pretty good idea of just what to expect. The full-color cover is, in a word, extreme. The colors are overly bright, the depiction of Kirk and Spock is exaggerated at every turn (as is common with [Ms. F's] art). The entire piece is extreme.

And so is the text. In my view, this is not "K/S" in any but the most outside definition of the genre. This is pornography, little more. By that, I mean that I didn't see this as a story or a situation between Kirk and Spock specifically, but a situation between two males... it could be any two males, in fact, it could easily be any other two males but Kirk and Spock. At no time did I find an inkling of Kirk or Spock in CHOICES. We're told these are the characters' names,we're given familiar descriptions of their physical appearance, we're even presented with familiar statistics and surroundings. But I never caught a glimpse of the two characters I know. That is not to say that I only like stories that fit Kirk and Spock into my view of them. I enjoy the diversity of fandom and its depictions of these two characters very much, in fact, that's part of the draw for me in K/S: the diversity of interpretation. But CHOICES' interpretation is just too far out. We're given a Spock who has decided to learn to live with his entirety, that is to learn to be Vulcan and Human. But in doing this, an animalistic side of him has been released or discovered or something. His actions toward Kirk, and Kirk's willingness and then unwillingness and then willingness again, just don't hold water for me. Sure, Spock's an alien, but this Spock is even alien to Spock and we're supposed to accept this as a part of his personality. I didn't. There's very little plot, which is not necessarily a bad thing. What plot there is seems contrived and rushed and pretty unbelievable. The scene in which Spock takes Kirk in the very sudden ravages of pon farr while in the presence of not only McCoy but Scotty, Kyle and a female ambassador was just too ridiculous. (Granted, at the time Spock actually takes Kirk, McCoy's the only one left in the room — but he's supposedly there to 'protect' Kirk. What he does is stand by and watch in horror while Kirk is injured repeatedly by Spock). The contrivance of Spock finding Leila Kalomi while on shore leave is just that: contrived. But it's also quite a nice bit in the story. The planet on which they find themselves is fantastical and wonderful. [Ms. F] creates perfectly the scenery in the reader's mind. But I found this part of the story an aside from the main stream... but not as aside as the last quarter of the story. I felt the ending was, as is pretty normal in K/S, predictable. But this predictable end has the added burden of being weak. It just didn't hold up to the violent intensity of the first part of the text. [Ms. F]is a very capable writer, but I found her writing at times seemingly out of her reach. But this is by no means badly written. And, of course, there is the art. There are four full-color prints (including the cover), and nine black and whites, the best of which is on page 53. In some of the black and whites (particularly the one on pg. 53), [Ms. F] has returned to an older, less jumbled style which I much prefer. In most of the other illustrations, the figures tend to melt into the background as it's too ornate for the figures to be as well-defined as they deserve to be. All in all, this is not a bad read. From the beginning, [Ms. F] tells us this is a fantasy. I suppose it might work as such for some. It didn't for me. If you're looking for sex scenes and many variations thereof, this will please you no end. If you're looking for characterization or plot, you'll probably be disappointed.

Is CHOICES worth $26.00? To me, the answer would be a quick and definite 'no'. To you...? Diversity is the name of the game here. CHOICES might be worth $26.00 to many people, as it's certain to be a collector's item. My main objection to the price comes from the size of the zine: about 126 pages, printed in space-and-a-half format. It would have made an excellent short story,but as a novel, I was disappointed.

It's always a pleasure to read a [Gayle F] story, and this latest work follows closely in the tradition already established by such favorites as in THE COSMIC COLLECTED. For both of us, it is a rare privilege to comment on CHOICES, Gayle's newest creation, welcoming her back to the writing fold with this story we feel ranks high among her other works. CHOICES is a wonderfully romantic K/S fantasy, illustrated by the author, showing how James Kirk comes to terms with his feelings for a surprisingly-sophisticated-yet-still-innocent Spock. It is a tale told from the heart, taking us on a ride through some very emotional territory as both human & Vulcan learn more about themselves and each other. Thanks to Gayle's expertise, we journey with our heroes to the Argeelian Spring Equinox Festival, where, upon the spur of the moment, they discover their true feelings for each other, affirm their love, then meet and resolve the challenges which test their depth of commitment to one another. Delving deeply into both Kirk's and Spock's psyches, solving their conflicts after much heartache and deliberation, CHOICES is a story with many surprising twists on the imagination: at times ethereal and beautiful, sometimes traumatic and passionate, always tender and sincere. Problems such as self-image and jealousy are dealt with honestly, in a heart-warming way, speaking personally to us all. In fact, what is so remarkable about CHOICES is that K/S is the plot, the central focus of the story, intimately reaching out to us as we all search for the true definition of love. Having done so, CHOICES stands out as a richly characterizational work, resounding in the overall K/S ideal, it's accompanying artwork serving to heighten the feelings shown in the writing. Gayle has given us a tapestry of visual and sensual delights, images so compelling because they are at once provocative and beautiful. You might say we loved this story, and you'd be right; for us, CHOICES is a K/S re-affirmation, a poignant story with a timeless theme.

'Choices' is Gayle F's latest K/S novel. The theme is a basic one, Kirk and Spock develop their relationship past the platonic bond of friendship. The relationship develops intensely and swiftly and just as swiftly, falls apart. Can they put it back together? Do they want to? 'Choices' has the usual rich background and smooth character development found in her novels... You shouldn't miss this one.

1991

This is a highiy erotic zine. Gayle F has the talent to describe ordinary things such as eating or drinking in a wonderfully erotic way. Each page is worth reading. Her writing is as brilliant as her drawing!

1996

What a find this was! I'd heard about this novel before, but I'd never seen it. If you can, get a hold of an original. The artwork is absolutory unbelievable. The zine is filled with both color and black and white drawings by the author herself. The work is gorgeous. The entire zine is gorgeous. I know [Gayle F's] stylized art isn't everyone's cup of joe, but I have grown to love it. It's very explicit. This is not the zine you read on the airplane or with your kids on a trip. In fact, I recommend you read it in the privacy of your own home at your own risk. Both for the artwork and for the story content. Boy!

It's actually a wonderful story, filled with beautifully written detail, rich poetic images and vivid scenes. Lots of vivid scenes. Vivid as in sexually vivid. The opening scene really defines the entire story. We come in on Spock, standing on a balcony overlooking an immense ballroom of some fantastic palace on Argeelius. The occasion is a festival, sort of a cross between a pagan equinox and an alien Mardi Gras. All the party-goers are in elaborate costumes with masks, the ballroom is a fantasy creation of lights and sounds—the air is filled with exciting sexual tension and lustful pleasures. What a picture!

So there's Spock, sipping his fruit juice (which turns out to be spiked—Vulcan style) looking down on the festivities below, including and especially watching Kirk, who is enjoying the attention of some woman. Kirk is wearing a gold satin and lame bodysuit (with a very useful seam right down the front, I mind add) and Spock is wearing a black velvet costume with cape, of course. Looking good! All of this scene is described in such wonderful detail that it just swept me away. Argeelius is like ancient Venice and even has canals. The whole city is "an exquisite creation with its delicate arching buildings, its streets of sunlit water crossed by bridges of granite and marble, wood and wrought iron. Jim had called it the most romantic city in the galaxy. This morning in the rising mist, it had seemed an apparition, nebulous, evanescent...an impossible dream of perfection that would vanish in a moment." That's just one small pan of the description of this place. So beautifully written.

"Light touched him. He did not need to look to know that Kirk was somewhere near. The presence was a sensation as distinct, as warm, as sunshine on his back". So here they are in this incredibly beautiful fantasy place and they take a walk outside in the night with the music and lights. Well, all I can say is, when Spock opens Kirk's costume and gives him a blow job and then lifts him up on the low stone wall that borders one of the bridges...well, what can I say?

"The genitals sprang free. Spock watched the cock rise, the head flushing rose. A single fluid jewel shone there. Cool liquid diamond." If this scene does not steam up your glasses and make you thrash around on the carpet. I would recommend making sure you have a pulse. Then you can give your entire K/S zine collection to me.

"Yes," he said. The first word he had spoken. 'Yes. Feel me inside you. My body alive inside you." Oh boy, oh boy. This encounter sets up the rest of the story as Spock deals with what has happened between them, with issues like Kirk's inability to give up command and control as reflected in his unwillingness to be penetrated. Kirk tells Spock that "what happened on the bridge is the single most erotic experience of my life" and that he wants more. But there are some difficulties. Spock doesn't know how h« will be able to deal with any sexual encounters that Kirk might have from now on as Kirk is not "ready" to give them up yet.

Some neat moments that I can't resist sharing— Kirk tells Spock that he hasn't showered and Spock says:" The scent of you excites me." Oh boy. Or when they're in a private booth in a restaurant and Spock thinks how he "enjoyed the natural sweetness of fruits, but refined sugar tasted like the poison it was ...unless well disguised by an abundance of chocolate." Isn't that great? Or later, after they have all these chocolate desserts:" That was a most satisfying and stimulating end to the meal." Spock murmured, ready now for a final dessert—Cream of Kirk."

Every scene is so beautifully described—a bath scene the next morning, rubbing Spock's back with a sponge, all this neat stuff including an interesting conversation about their relationship, Vulcan, same-sex. and bonding. At the end of the scene, "He absorbed Kirk's sighs with secret delight. He did not consider it taking unfair advantage to make use of the knowledge that his captain was a sucker for a good back rub."

This author does not just say that they took a bath or got something to eat or walked in a park. There's description of everything, including some historical background. As an example there's this coffee-like beverage that Kirk particularly likes. We learn where it's from and what it tastes like, all detailed within the story.

McCoy enters the story appropriately—but thankfully doesn't tell either one what to do or how to do it. Kirk wonders if he will be capable of giving up women for Spock.

In one of their many intensely erotic encounters, they are outside and in the distance on the water is a ferry boat with dancing lights and music wafting over to them. The boat is just close enough that the passengers might see them as Kirk stands behind Spock and says:" 'I want the whole world to see how beautiful you are. I want them to see you come with my cock inside you and my hand milking you.'" Oh help! "...The cock he held in his hand pulsed and pulsed, baptizing the night with its pearly fluid".

This story is so delightful and fun to read. Although I love stones that are dark and filled with angst. (hey, I write them!) this is effervescent. And they certainty have their problems, especially in part two when Spock goes into Pon Farr. But mostly it's rich and full with sensual, erotic, romantic and carpet-thrashing scenes. Just a simple scene of Spock in the bath shows us a beautiful and sensual world: "Fluffy mountains of bubbles floated around him. frothy, iridescent, smelling of sandalwood and musk. The delicate fronds of a hanging fern added their own forest undertone. Tilting the goblet he held, he finished the last sip of zavour, cool and sweet tart running down his throat. He held the empty goblet up to the rays of sunlight streaming into the bath. The deep green glass cast a floating emerald of light on the black and white tiles, its vivid shadow mingling with the branching leaf pattern of the fern." Gorgeous!

A number of unusual and inventive scenes include one where in the throes of plan tow, Spock perceives a female ambassador who has just slept with Kirk, as an adversary. She has his scent on her. Wow! He backhands her across the room and then goes for Kirk.... Spock even gets to have closure with Leila Kalomi. Kirk has nightmares and fantasies about Spock taking him, as in really taking him. "He avoided Spock, but the Vulcan invaded his fantasies. A huge swollen cock ramming into him. An image of pain invading his pleasure. But there was no real pain in fantasy. No real memory of pain. Only the image and the image made him hot" I love that—"no real pain in fantasy"—isn't that exactly how memory is?

Okay. okay. I won't tell anymore. But this novel is so fun, so delicious and so exciting that I'm sure I'll be reading it again. But not in public.

In the previous CT, I foolishly said I was going to read it again and come up with something more constructive than the simple “I like it.’ I should learn to keep my big mouth shut. (ha- ha!) I have something but constructive, well, that’s something else entirely. First part STEAMY. Second part, unless her characterization is based on Kirk’s inadequacy to deal with Spock’s pon farr, I fail to follow the development of her story. I read anger, resentment, even hatred second only to his guilt in not being able to submit. Third part, the healing. There were some lines that had me in stitches. For example, “From the expression on your face,” Spock murmured, “I can only deduce that you are going to be absolutely insufferable for at least a month.” Kirk’s eyes were hazy with pleasure when he finished. “Did anyone ever tell you, you kiss divinely?” “Yes,” Spock answered, truthfully, “Everyone.”

1999

During a festival on Argelian, Spock finally acts out on the feelings he’s had toward his captain, and Kirk finally acknowledges his own feeling for the Vulcan. They become lovers. They are not ready yet to make commitments and are happy with what they have. Kirk is still interested in women and doesn't want to give up that.

His love for Spock is often a dominance-submission game. They have a great shore leave together. But Spock needs the bond and Kirk has his doubts, however he loves Spock—of that he is certain. Still, Kirk is attracted to women and when a female Ambassador, Margrette is aboard to ferry her to one of her assignments and Spock is away on a mission, he finds in her "a perfect interim fuck", not meaning more then a pleasant distraction. During the unexpected arrival of the pon farr Spock rapes and hurts Kirk. That is the breaking point of their relationship. Kirk turns away. After a difficult time when the distance between them grows and they almost lose each other, they finally talk. Kirk wants to try the bond but Spock refuses and wants to leave. Kirk wants to show Spock how much he loves him and they end up in bed, convincing

Spock to meld them. They end up bonded and happy. An intense, very sexual story intensified by the beautiful illos of Gayle. Both men struggle with their feelings towards each other and Kirk's difficulty in adjusting almost destroys what they have. They have choices to make that change their lives and that of others. Not easy, and not to make you happy, but a very interesting read!

2006

Although this is not a particularly long story, it is one of my favourites as it contains all three of the elements which for me are what make a K/S zine great rather than just ordinary or readable - great characterisation, a realistic and entertaining plot and a sufficient amount of emotional intensity. This zine also has a beautifully described setting which came alive on the pages. The characterisation of both Kirk and Spock is excellent, as is the pacing of the story. Also this particular author is extremely good at depicting emotional intensity and the pure passion of the characters really lights up the pages. It is written in a beautiful, lyrical style – this particular author’s strongest skill is her unfailing ability to paint wonderfully realistic pictures with words leaving the reader with a really vivid impression of the images she wants to convey to support the plot. Although the plot itself is based on a basic premise which has been done quite a few times in K/S this does not detract at all from a beautifully written tale which was a really rewarding read.

I particularly enjoyed the setting at the beginning of the story when Kirk, Spock and McCoy are attending the Equinox Festival on Argeelius, The setting for this part is very well described, the social gathering they are attending, and the author’s imaginative descriptions of the various different races who are all enjoying themselves in an opulent setting under the brilliantly glittering chandeliers is particularly effective. I particularly liked the early scenes, where Spock and McCoy are standing together on a balcony above the main party, watching Kirk who, as usual, is apparently in the process of another quick seduction. However, Spock’s realisation that Kirk does not look really interested in his companion and is just going through the motions, and Kirk’s simultaneous realisation that he is bored with quick flings and is looking for a relationship where he can simply relax and be himself gives Spock hope that maybe his feelings for Kirk are reciprocated after all, which paves the way for their taking their friendship to the next level. The romantic setting for this new development in their relationship is beautifully evoked – a busy festival where everyone is devoted purely to pleasure in a city which resembles Venice with its bridges and dark waterways, with reflections of glowing lamplight really brings the story alive and is a wonderful background for their first sexual encounter which is a bit unexpected, and very hot! In fact, this zine has some truly wonderful love scenes in it, erotic and tender at the same time, and in a truly magical setting. This is especially true of when Kirk takes Spock to a special place he has discovered – a lovely and secluded grove at the edge of a lake and their encounter there in the moonlight, was one of the highlights of the story for me., After a few wonderful and very romantic days they return to the Enterprise and of course, all good things come to an end. After an absence on a planetary survey, Spock returns to the ship in the throes of pon farr and when Kirk meets him in the transporter room he can detect at once that Kirk has been with a woman in his absence. To add to the problem, the woman just happens to appear beside Kirk as he arrives. Although he previously told Kirk he was content for the moment with a “no strings” relationship, knowing Kirk was not ready for a bonding, he isn’t exactly rational about this in the grip on pon farr. Although this comes as a shock to the reader, who is unaware Spock was even approaching pon farr, it was easy to imagine Spock concealing this from Kirk, fearful after events on Vulcan last time, of a repeat performance. The Vulcan’s enraged reaction when he realises that Kirk has been with someone else is very realistic in the circumstances. I also liked the fact that I spite of the problems in their relationship, Kirk is still willing to do some fast talking afterwards to protect Spock from the consequences of his actions. The succeeding events, while harrowing, are realistically described and set the scene for the events that follow as they both try to cope and come to terms with Spock’s actions. Spock, in particular has a hard time accepting what has happened and the characterisation of both main characters’ pain and suffering at this time is excellent. Their reactions to such a traumatic event are really accurate, including both Kirk’s anger and Spock’s withdrawal from everything around him. The description of the Vulcan as a “frostbitten computer” stalking the corridors of the ship is especially on the mark as Spock withdraws into himself as he attempts to deal with his guilt over what happened while trying at the same time to cope with the absolutely terrifying nightmares he has been having. I also liked this particular author’s interpretation of McCoy’s character – as he tries to help his two friends deal with their feelings – warm and supportive as we would expect him to be but also not trying to lay blame either, he is convinced that they belong together and tries to convince Spock that Jim has forgiven him for what happened in the transporter room and that their love is worth fighting for, while at the same time trying to help Jim recover as well. Eventually they both seek distance from each other and go off on shore leave on the planet Zenbaria, although on different continents. The events that conspire to bring them together again and their different reactions are well plotted and realistic. Spock’s accidental encounter with Leila and their subsequent time together, enables him to begin to put what happened before into a clearer perspective. The day they spend together, visiting a small island and what happens there is a beautiful but brief encounter and they both gradually come to realise this as the day progresses. I also liked the way in which this particular author describes Leila’s character – she has clearly grown far enough away from her hopeless attraction to Spock to develop a meaningful relationship with someone else (a woman in point of fact) but is not yet completely committed either. The descriptions of the island itself where they spend a day with its sun drenched sandy beaches, cool dark caverns and cascading waterfalls is a lovely touch as well. We are left with the impression that Leila has now come to terms with her feelings for Spock, and is ready to move on, Their mutual encounter enables Spock to see more clearly that it is Kirk he loves and that he now wants to overcome their problems in order to recapture the magic they had in their relationship previously. Kirk’s experiences in a way mirror those of Spock and their reunion finds him battling his jealousy when he first sees Spock – with Leila but it also makes him realise that he now wants to try to salvage their relationship. Their subsequent conversation starts off as a confrontation as Kirk gives in to his feelings of jealousy and anger, but in a wonderfully depicted ending, they both gradually manage to overcome their negative feelings and help each other to regain their previous love and trust.

All in all, this is a beautifully written story which combines great characterisation with lots of emotional intensity in a nicely described setting, with some really hot lovemaking along the way – in fact their passion for each other lights up the pages of a very enjoyable reading experience in true K/S style.

2010

After a surprising night of passion on Argeelius, Kirk and Spock begin an erotic relationship. But the future is uncertain..." An AU in which Spock never went to Gol this is gorgeous and oh so hurty.

In the long, rich history of K/S, it‘s often difficult to point out a lot of the 'first times' in our fandom. The first story that was written, the first one that was published, the first piece of artwork ever drawn, etc. This is due largely to the fact that K/S was born long before the days of the Internet, so for the K/S fans out there at the time, there really was no way, unlike today, for everyone to keep in constant contact with each other to find out what your fellow fan was doing.

But there are a few things about the early days of K/S that we do know and one of them is that this author‘s Cosmic Fuck series was an enormous contributing factor to the rise of the fandom. And while this story isn‘t a part of that series, it is a perfect reflection of why K/S grew in popularity and still remains so today. The tremendous talent showcased in this story is what kept all of us in those days wanting more and now that this story, along with several others written in years past, has become available on the internet today, they can only serve to fuel the fire and insure that K/S will continue to enjoy a long, productive future.

This story is Gayle‘s interpretation of what would happen if Spock never went off to Gol. Since it is a VERY long tale, I won‘t get into the nitty gritty, except to say that basically, on a diplomatic mission, Kirk and Spock decide to take their relationship to the next level, and what follows is a number of very intense sex scenes where they learn to know each others‘ bodies. But Spock needs more, i.e., a bond, yet Kirk is reluctant to take that next step. Spock is reluctant to press the issue until an unexpected pon farr arises, one which changes everything. After it‘s over, Spock is convinced Kirk wants nothing more to do with him and judging by Kirk‘s actions, it appears he‘s right. Unable to bear the loss of his relationship with Kirk, Spock prepares to resign. But then an old flame returns and with her appearance, both men are forced to face truths that could either restore what they had or forever tear them apart.

This story, which has to be at least twenty years old, stands as testimony to the endurance of this most remarkable fandom. For it doesn‘t matter when it was written because even today it is still relevant. It is a shining example of why, thirty years later, K/S is still going strong. Thanks to Gayle and all those other ladies who had the courage and desire not only to write these stories, but to share them with others, K/S has a long, storied history that continues even today and I have no doubt will live on well into the future.

My favorite zine art? "Choices" -- a K/S novel illustrated and written by the incomparable [Gayle F] -- unbelievably beautiful -- rendered in both color and B&W...Very stylized, tessellation used in the background to accent the flowing, graceful figures...Extremely erotic...