Tales from the Spotnitz Sanitarium

Fanfiction
Title:	Tales from the Spotnitz Sanitarium
Author(s):	Greenfish
Date(s):	posted to alt.tv.x-files.creative on November 28, 1997
Length:
Genre:	X-Files RPF
Fandom:	The X-Files
External Links:	Tales from the Spotnitz Sanitarium
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Tales from the Spotnitz Sanitarium is an X-Files RPF story by Greenfish.

The story's subject is the show's plot lines and characterizations, fan perception, and interpersonal relationships among the show's PTB. This fic includes the characters Chris Carter, Frank Spotnitz, David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and some lawyers.

One clue that this fic was not received well by fans is the complete lack of comments where it was posted. This may be due to the story's subject matter. It may also be due to the fact that Greenfish had admitted to plagiarism a few months earlier, something that set off massive wank and discussion both for the plagiarism itself, but also for the turmoil it threw archivists into, specifically Gossamer.

Story Header

INTRO: Hey, I haven't written a comedy for a while. I'm kind of getting sick of character-driven, angsty, realistic stories. And if you've taken a moment to talk to me for more than two minutes, you might have found that last week's episode ("Detour") had =quite= the effect on me. Well, I love these 'behind-the-scenes' type stories, so I thought I it was about time I wrote one for this episode.

DISCLAIM: Well, none of these people belong to me, obviously. They belong to themselves. However, for the purposes of fiction, I hope you all don't mind that I'm doing this to you. (I know you guys read this stuff; don't deny it!)

DISTRIBUTE: Anywhere

RATING: R (for language)

CONTENT/SPOILER: Spoilers for "Redux II" and "Detour." This ain't no romance, (sort of). Just a lot of good, er-- slightly soiled-- fun. Written from the viewpoint of a 'shipper, though. So I guess I'm kind of biased.

ARCHIVE: S; H

SUMMARY: The wacky tales of woe from the 5th season set of the X-Files.

DEDICATED TO: Frank Spotnitz, of course. Man, so many people pegged you as a straight-arrow man, but I =knew= you had it in you. I loved this episode, and I'm looking even more forward to "Christmas Carol." Also, to Emilie Renee Karr, who wrote the story "10-13: Descent Into Madness." I just read that fic, and I was laughing my head off.

You inspired me, woman!

Some Excerpts

"Aw.. man... I am so dead. I am so dead." Frank Spotnitz shook his head, and ran his fingers through his long, dark hair. It was normally a wavy style, but the stress was beginning to make it frizz. He knew he looked frazzled.

He pulled his glasses off for the fifth time in the past two minutes, and wiped them down again. He then rubbed his eyes once more, even though they weren't really tired, nor itchy. Truthfully, it just gave him something to do.

Friday nights, all new script ideas were presented to Chris Carter.

Chris and him had actually been friends since the beginning of the series. The year before, they had actually taken a couple weeks out after the season had finished filming, and went out to Hawaii together to gather waves and work on the script for the upcoming X-Files movie.

But that still didn't qualm Spotnitz's nerves.

As well as he knew Chris, he absolutely abhorred bringing new script ideas to him. All respect to him-- Spotnitz thought, but Carter was =so= difficult on scripts. Carter had always been partial to his mythology writing--- and he had told him that, but when it came to something like this...?

A small droplet of sweat hit his eyelash, and dripped down into his eye. He winced.

Spotnitz wasn't the type to write Monster-of-the-Week episodes. Morgan and Wong had practically invented that genre in the first season of the series. And generally, the typical Monster-of-the- Week episodes either went out to the newer staff writers, or Shiban.

Shiban just loved that stuff, but-- again, Spotnitz thought, wondering why he was justifying himself =to= himself-- Shiban couldn't write those scripts worth shit.

Spotnitz looked confused. "Wait a minute. You want me to create more character-development in here? You don't mind if I have a few..." Spotnitz lowered his eyes, waggling his head around a bit. "... you know..."

Carter almost started choking as a cough erupted from his throat. When he had gotten over the attack, an incredibly amused grin formed about his face. Carter raised his eyebrows. "'You know?'" he asked, echoing Spotnitz's words.

Spotnitz looked up at Carter, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. "You =know= what I'm talking about, Chris. The stuff that those Internet fans go nuts over. He touches her on the arm, and the newsgroups are on fire for the next two weeks."

"Yeah?" Carter asked, not quite understanding his point.

"Well, I know how you don't really like to get the fans too riled up, and--" Spotnitz stopped as he noticed Carter staring at him. "What?" he asked.

"I don't think you know me as well as you think you do," Carter replied, pulling out a scrappy old notebook. "Have I showed you my ideas for the third part of the season-finale arc?"

Of course, he figured he was pushing the envelope enough with "Redux II." Any more romantic, character-bonding moments, and the Internet-world would have him pegged as a softie. There was no way he was going to fall for that title. When he proclaimed that Mulder and Scully weren't going to get together, that was what he meant.

And goddamn it, if he had to cut down on particular scenes, then so be it. Chris just wondered how he was ever going to tell Spotnitz that those little "liner notes" for his episode were only a joke. Spotnitz would probably never forgive him... ah, but what was a good jest? he thought. Frank would be laughing his head off later on, realizing how stupid it would actually turn out if they would actually film the script with that re-vamped dialogue that Carter had suggested Spotnitz work in throughout.

Yeah, it was just silly... Carter thought, grinning. He considered whether or not to call Spotnitz the next day, or to let him write out the entire script before he broke the news...

A wicked grin came over Carter's face. He really had to stop messing with people's minds like that. It was starting to become an addiction, he realized.

Just as he was thinking about that, there was a knock at the door. "Come in," Carter said, as four people entered the room. "David... Gillian... who are these other two people?"

Duchovny said: "Chris, this is my lawyer, Brenda Surges, and she'll be working with Gillian's lawyer, Ray Evans, to get this matter straightened out."

Carter appeared confused. "What matter?"

Gillian spoke. "We have a matter of contention to speak about concerning our characters, actually."

"If you would please sit down, Mr. Carter," Brenda said, pointing to his desk chair. "This may take a while."