Love's a Battlefield (And the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit)
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| Fanfiction | |
|---|---|
| Title: | Love's a Battlefield (And the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) |
| Author(s): | cyerus |
| Date(s): | 30 July 2013 |
| Length: | 12,668 words |
| Genre: | slash fanfiction |
| Fandom: | Hawaii Five-0 |
| External Links: | Love's a Battlefield (And the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) (AO3) |
 podfic cover art by Cybel | |
Click here for related articles on Fanlore. | |
Love's a Battlefield (And the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) is a Steve/Danny story by cyerus.
Summary: The Kalakaua-Kelly clan are determined to matchmake Steve. Out of desperation, Steve makes up a boyfriend named Danny. It doesn't quite go according to plan.
librarychick_94 podficced the story in 2015[1] and it was translated into Polish by McDanno_Rulz in 2016.[2]
Recs and Reviews
Explicit, 12,000+ words. There's a level of sheer ridiculousness to the entire affair that I should find off-putting, but cy is the same sneaky little shit who got me teary-eyed over a fic in which John Watson used to be a bomb-sniffing dog, so I don't really know what I was expecting. Steve makes up a fake boyfriend named Danny so his friends stop with the matchmaking. Then Steve meets Danny.
- Steve nearly whines as his phone beeps with another incoming text, and he doesn't have to look at it to know it's along the lines of 'this isnt funny steve she will kill you with fire.' "Can we just go? I'll explain more on the way."
- "No," Williams says slowly, "no, I get it. You made up a boyfriend to get out of some kind of family obligation, possibly because you're an idiot, more likely because you have the emotional maturity of a hyena that thinks snatching people off the street is a socially acceptable way to ask someone out. But now everything's coming back to bite you in the ass, and you need me to play Danny the loving partner so you can keep sitting on your throne of lies."
- "That's...exactly it, yeah." Steve gazes down at Williams in surprise, and not a little paranoia. "How did you know that?"[3]
I didn’t think that Steve and Danny could meet in a more ridiculous way than the one in the show, but boy was I wrong. All joking aside though this was awesome. Kono’s mom is seriously scary. Steve is bad at life, Danny is bad at saying no to Steve and Kono and Chin are more wonderful than Steve deserves.[4]
This was one of the first fanfics I ever read and it still holds up on my eyes. It's pure silliness yet oddly touching at the same time.[5]
This is the best ‘alternate first meeting’ fic ever. Hilarious and sweet.[6]
References
- ^ librarychick_94. Love's a Battlefield (and the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) [Podfic], 25 August 2015. (Accessed 31 MAy 2016)
- ^ McDanno_Rulz. Miłość to Pole Bitwy (a Marynarka Wojenna Nie Wyszkoliła Steve'a do Takiego Gówna), 11 February 2016. (Accessed 31 May 2016)
- ^ taliahale. [REC]s: Hawaii Five-o, Steve/Danny, 28 October 2013. (Accessed 31 May 2016)
- ^ "Rec: Love's a Battlefield (And the Navy Did Not Train Steve for This Shit) by cyerus, Nov 21, 2016". Archived from the original on 2022-12-20.
{{cite web}}: no-break space character in|title=at position 78 (help) - ^ if you would mind sharing your top three all time favorites?
- ^ "July 13, 2017 Tumblr post". Archived from the original on 2022-12-20.