I never thought I'd live to see the day when this fandom would be in such a state.

Open Letter
Title:	I never thought I'd live to see the day when this fandom would be in such a state.
From:	Kathy Cox
Addressed To:	Beauty and the Beast (TV) fans
Date(s):	written February 6, 1990, printed April 1990
Medium:	print
Fandom:	Beauty and the Beast (TV)
Topic:
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I never thought I'd live to see the day when this fandom would be in such a state. is a 1990 open letter by Kathy Cox.

It was printed Once Upon a Time...Is Now #21 and was one of four open letters in that issue. The other three were:

• Ok Good...Ok Fine: Editors' Soapbox by Jeanne Cloud
• I have wrestled long and hard with my conscience whether to reveal what went on behind the scenes of fandom itself during the last several months. by Stephanie Wiltse
• This fandom is destroying itself and this has got to stop. by Pat Almedina

For fan commentary on these for letters, see "Once Upon a Time...Is Now" Open Letters (April 1990).

Some Topics Discussed

• the fracturing of the fandom due to decisions made by TPTB regarding casting changes, plotting, and characterizations in the the show's third season
• lost friendships, suspicion
• in-fighting in fandom stifles creativity regarding fanworks

The Letter

I never thought I'd live to see the day when this fandom would be in such a state. In its beginning — and you yourself, Jeanne , truly introduced it to me — there was the most incredible feeling of sharing, of friendship and fellowship, such a sense of excitement in finding like-minded people bound by a common love for a thing of most uncommon magic, B&B. To meet a fellow fan was to find a near-instant friend and it felt as if this would be forever, a life-long thing, nowadays..? Ah, that's no more, is it? I think I mourn that passing more than anything else. Now, it seems, our first thoughts are, warily eyeing each other, "Which side is she on? Is she one of Us or one of Them?" Dear God, how sad!

Controversy, differences of opinion, variations in interpretation: these things can spice a friendship most delightfully and a Fandom as well. A lively discussion, point and counterpoint, can be not only fun but quite productive to one's imagination and enhancing to one's enjoyment. Of that I am totally in favor; I welcome it; I encourage it. Yet when it, for any reason, turns to rigid positions, adversarial stances, the Us and Them mindset, all benefit is lost. It becomes merely destructive and in more ways than one might guess.

On the surface, it costs friendships. It causes great heartache. It's the background static which so overwhelms that the music can no longer be heard. But it runs even deeper than that. Much deeper.

I said I would write this letter as a zine-ed. Perhaps you're thinking I've drifted away from that point of view; I haven't, really I haven't. Because it's as a zine wr/ed/pub that I tell you what to me the worst damage of this current hostile state is: It is toxic to creativity. It poisons the very well from which the words, the art, the images are drawn. It takes the flame of creativity, at its strongest a delicate and fragile thing, and crushes it to a handful of embers. And once that happens, and that light goes out, it may not ever come to life again. Ever.

In the LoC's I receive, the variety of opinion seems truly endless and this, as I said, is fascinating and wonderful. And the closest thing I see to a near-universal statement made in these letters is, in so many words, this: "Thank heaven for zines! This may be the only way this story will go on being told. Please don't stop, we need this source!" I react to such statements on many levels: I am gratified, I am challenged and excited, I am as well awed and humbled that a part of this story is in my hands. I don't want it to be torn away from me and stomped into oblivion; with all my heart and soul, I am fighting not to allow that to happen. Yet — Yet.

Daily, bit by bit, it's being bled away by the anger, the hostility, the accusatory, and vitriolic tone being used in letters, in telephone calls, in published statements. Intellectually (and statistically: my mail runs now 71% in favor of S#3) I know that this is not the majority position, but too often that doesn't help. Or it doesn't help enough. Certainly the mind is involved in the creative process, but it must come first from the heart. When that heart is too bruised, creativity ceases. The writer turns off the computer, for she has nothing to say; the artist lays down her pencils and pens, for she, too, has nothing to "say" in her art. And zines don't get published and possibly the last chance to perpetuate a tale of magic and wonder and spirit and beauty, dies.

Is that what you want?

Lest you think I am talking about for or against S#3, or saying you mustn't express an honest personal opinion, or putting this into an either/or position on the changes to B&B, let me declare absolutely that I am not. My objections, and the pain they are causing me, are to such statements as, paraphrased, these: "you obviously never understood the 'true spirit' of this show if you find merit in Season Three." "We, the Fans, hate the changes and you aren't a 'loyal fan' if you don't hate them too." Lump those in with: rejoicing that the series was cancelled; working towards dictating creative directions 'acceptable' to supporting the return of the series; insisting that zines dealing with S#3 dynamics not dare be written or published; and declarations that only one viewpoint (the one touted by that particular individual) can possibly be right and all others wrong. THIS is what I am talking about. I can't make it clearer, I just can't. And I cannot overemphasize the capacity for destruction such attitudes foster, most of all when coupled with the ludicrous statement "I'm not even in this Fandom anymore". What ought be apparent here seems not to be: If you don't like what you see on the television, vote with your on/off switch — turn it off; if you don't like what you see on a zine flyer, vote with your checkbook — don't buy it. But why in God's name are some of you slamming your fingers (and mine) in the door as you go? JUST GO!

I am not speaking, nor do I seek to speak, for all B&B fanzine editors. Many may be letting this roll off their backs, but others, I know, are teetering on the same edge as I, creativity suffering and the energies to put their time, efforts, emotions, and not-small investments of money into producing zines fading.

If these bonfires of anger and rigidity and hostility and infighting don't cease soon, then soon they will be the only fires left burning; the tender light which is creativity and sensitivity will be either consumed or smothered out, I really fear. Hatred is a false flame, without warmth; love, even if down to a spark, is true light.

Which do you want? Think about it.